Two days later, I have managed to compose myself enough to face the music. Mr. McAbey called me first thing yesterday, giving me the day off, but informed me that I had to come in and meet with him today.
My heart races as I make the trek from the parking lot to the building attached to the stadium that houses all the offices. My office, or at least, what used to be my office. I’ve brought a box with me so that I can collect my things after the meeting, and my resignation letter which I typed up last night.
The last two days have been pure torture, with my emotions running high all over the spectrum. My mood seems to change from brokenhearted, to incredibly pissed, back to that of sheer humiliation in a matter of seconds. The very night that all of this came to light, I cried myself to sleep. But after that, I haven’t allowed any tears to fall.
I’m stronger than this, dammit. I have been through way worse situations, and I have come out on top. Ok, maybe not exactly on top, but alive and able to function. And I will be damned if I let some jack ass try to wreck me now.
In all honesty, this is my fault.
I should have known better, should have never allowed myself to get messed up in this whole situation. I was warned from the get go here, and I knew from day one that these guys were going to try to get me fired. I guess I just didn’t think that Jake would stoop to such a low level, especially when he seemed to care about me. But I was a fool, and now I will pay the price for my mistakes.
Jake has tried to contact me, of course, but I have ignored him at every turn. I ended up blocking his number on my phone. After that, he showed up at my house and beat on the door for almost an hour. After that?
Crickets.
Which only reinforces the fact. I never meant anything to him anyway.
I didn’t bother dressing for work today. It’s not like I will be needing to be in a suit today. So instead I chose to just wear a pair of skinny navy pants and a loose top.
No sense in dressing up to get fired.
I keep my eyes down as I make my way through the hallways. I can hear the sounds of the guys laughing and bats clinking, but luckily, not a single one of them are anywhere in this hallway.
I badge myself into the office area, and take a seat in front of Mr. McAbey’s office.
Time ticks by slowly as I wait for the door to be opened, for my fate to be sealed, and it feels like an eternity before the door finally swings my way.
He peaks his head out, nodding at me, before finally asking me to step inside.
My eyes are still down, but I force myself to inhale and look up, as I step into his office to accept my fate.
I’m instantly stunned as I see that I am not going to be the only one in this meeting today. My eyes land on Jake, who is sitting next to a man in a full suit, before I finally make eye contact with Mr. McAbey.
“Laci. Come in please.”
“Why is he here?” My voice catches, as Jakes eyes finally raise up to meet mine, but I quickly pull mine away.
“We need to cover a few things here. I thought it would be best to do this together.”
“I beg to differ.” I force out, clutching my resignation letter in my hand. For a brief second, I debate just shoving the letter into his hand and fleeing, but I realize that it would be the cowardly way out. And while I may be completely humiliated here, I am not a coward.
“Please sit.”
I take the seat furthest from Jake, doing my best not to make any eye contact whatsoever.
Of course, he looks gorgeous, probably completely unscathed from all the events.
Asshole.
Mr. McAbey sits, before clasping his hands on his belly and sighing.
“Well, seems like we have quite the predicament on our hands here.”
No one says a word.
“I’m not going to go over all of the details here, since you both were present two days ago. Here is what I understand, and please correct me if I am wrong.”
I swallow hard, and look down at my hands.
“Ms. Monroe, it is my understanding that you and Mr. Matthews have engaged in a sexual relationship.”
I don’t respond, but Jake does, which makes my eyes snap up.
“That’s incorrect. We never had sex.”
I glance at him, as he stares straight ahead at the owner, causing him to raise an eyebrow.
“Is that so? How did twenty-eight other players misinterpret this information then?”
“I have no idea.”
His eyes travel over to me, eyebrow still raised.
“Is this so, Laci?”
I swallow hard, my mind racing. Why is Jake lying for me? Is this some last-ditch effort to save my job? While it at least shows he has a shred of nobility in him, still. I don’t need him doing me any favors. And I’m not about to lie about it. I did it, I will own it, and I will face my own consequences.
“That’s untrue. We did have sex.”
“Laci.” Jakes voice tries to pull my attention away from Mr. McAbey’s stare, but I completely ignore him.
“More than once, it wasn’t just a one-time thing. We were involved in a sexual relationship of sorts.”
Mr. McAbey nods his head, propping his chin on his hands watching me intently as I continue.
“Unlike some people, I’m not a liar, and I refuse to sit here and lie to your face. I know that it was wrong, and I’m fully aware of the penalties for my actions. Here is my resignation letter.”
I push it across the table, and once it’s in his hands, I begin to scoot my chair back.
“I appreciate the opportunity to work for your team, Mr. McAbey. It was a learning experience. I will just go and clean out my office now and be on my way.”
“Wait.”
He holds up a finger to me as he briefly scans the letter.
“You no longer want to work for me?”
“I assumed that I would be fired. I’m aware that it is against the rules to sleep with a player. I have no defense for it, it was just a lapse of judgement on my part.”
His eyes travel to Jake.
“I am going to give you a get out jail free card on the lie that you just told me to my face, Matthews, because I understand that you were trying to protect Ms. Monroe. What I would have liked to see instead though, was for some of you ignorant, spoiled, assholes to have maybe stopped for a second to consider another person’s feelings before placing such a bet. It was a bet, correct?”
I’m sure that the humiliation is evident on my face as I wait for him to answer. And as hard as it is, I manage to keep my eyes away from him.
Knowing that it was a bet is awful enough. To hear him say the words again?
Soul crushing.
“Yes.” His gravely answer squeezes the last shred of my heart left.
“I see. Well, I hope that you understand that this leaves me in quite the conundrum.” He sighs loudly, shaking his head as he glances between the two of us.
“I don’t know all of the details here, and hell, I don’t want to. What I have heard is bad enough already. From my take, it sounds like you pulled out no stops to get Ms. Monroe here into your bed, all to win some damn bet. Now I’ve met your Momma Matthews, and I’ve known you long enough to know that this ain’t your style. But whatever your reasoning was here, you still did the unthinkable. Telling a woman that you love them to get them into bed? That’s high school shit right there, and I think your Momma would be ashamed.”
“I do love her. I, Laci, please.” His eyes turn to me with a pleading stare. “If you would just let me explain, hear me out, you would see that while it started out as a bet…”
“That’s enough Matthews.” Mr. McAbey growls, as a single tear falls from my eyes. Dammit all. I promised myself that I wouldn’t cry, yet here I am, about to lose it in front of the one person that I swore that I wouldn’t.
“Enough damage has been done here, son. Laci, I don’t want you to leave, although I understand if you still want to. You have done a lot of good for the team, and your contract isn’t up until November. I would like you to stay and finish out the season. After that, if you choose to leave I totally understand.”
My eyes widen as his meet mine. For a second, I have no words. Of course, I want to stay, for the financial aspect of it and plus I don’t want to uproot myself again. But at the same time, how can I look all the guys in the eye ever again? And how could I possibly manage to work next to Jake?
“If you choose to stay, I will be reassigning your title and role. I will pull you off direct contact with the team and place you in more of a marketing position. I’ll give you the rest of the day to decide.”
His eyes travel over to Jake. “If Laci decides to stay, you need to keep your distance. No more contact from you of any sorts.”
Jakes mouth opens, but for the first time, his agent reaches over and touches his arm before shaking his head.
“Laci, your dismissed.”
I scoot my chair back and fly up and out the door at record speed.
“Do you think that we should order more of the group T-shirts, or should we stock up more on the individual ones?”
I’m staring out of my office window, my new office window that is, on the complete opposite side of the stadium than my last one.
I hear Gina, of course, but I’m not even processing what she is asking of me.
“Laci.”
She snaps her fingers in front of my face, causing me to blink before refocusing my attention on her.
“What? Oh. T-shirts. Right, sorry.”
I shove back my chair and stand, picking up the T-shirts and fingering them in my hands.
“What numbers are selling out the fastest? We seem to have more inventory of the group shirts, so, maybe we should just restock the individual ones.”
Gina grimaces, before shoving the numbers sheet across the table to me.
“Uh, its right here.”
I don’t even need to look at the paper to know that anything with Jakes name and number on it sells the most. Next to him, is Eric Wayne, Brock, and Eddie Cruz.
“I guess just reorder their stuff. Being a home series this week, it’s probably a good idea to stock up on the favorites.”
“Ok. I do think that we should be careful on ordering too much of Matthews stuff, though. Word on the street is that he has already been talking to Georgia about a contract for next season. If that gets leaked to the press, his sales will drop significantly.”
I simply nod, hating the way that even hearing mention of him makes me feel.
It’s been three weeks.
Three, long, horrible weeks, of crying myself to sleep, and letting the sadness that I feel damn near overtake me.
I hate the way that I feel right now. Absolutely hate it.
Jake has abided by Mr. McAbey’s order to steer clear of me. Since the day of our meeting with him, Jake hasn’t tried to contact me, nor has he even glanced my way on the few occasions that I have seen him.
Luckily, the team had three away series in a row, so they have been gone often, making this whole thing a little bit easier.
If anything can make it easier, that is.
The very week after I was reassigned, a new team mom was hired. Gina did her official warning to her, as she did to me, but I didn’t say anything to her.
My wounds are just too damn fresh to even speak of. No way can I admit my humiliation to a stranger, which may be shitty of me, but oh well.
I’m trying to keep myself together without another public breakdown.
And I have done a decent job of it, except for the times when I am alone. The sadness usually hits me at night, when I’ve finally laid down in bed, and that’s when my mind wanders to him.
I can’t help myself.
For the very first time ever, I felt what it was like to be in love. And while for him, I was nothing more than a bet, to me, he was everything.
And the pain is crushing.
We spend the rest of our morning figuring out what merchandise we need to order, and doing a little bit of marketing, until a knock on the door stops us.
“Can I help you?”
A gorgeous brunette peeks her head into the door, flashing us both a brilliant smile. Recognition dawns on me, as my stomach drops to my feet.
Alexa.
“I hope so, I’m not sure that I’m in the right place.”
Gina raises an eyebrow, before motioning for her to come in.
“Who are you looking for?”
“Whoever is in charge of the clothing line. I need to pick up a couple of shirts that were ordered for me?”
“That would be her.” She points to me. “But she’s working on something. I can help you.”
“Perfect. I am supposed to be picking up a couple of jerseys. My boyfriend is insisting that I wear his number if I am going to be at the games.”
“Hey, I know you.” She points a long-manicured finger my way, before snapping her fingers. “We met in Georgia, right?”
“Right.” It takes everything that I have to force the words out.
“Who is your boyfriend?” Gina asks, even though there is no need.
She flashes me another brilliant smile, showing off a set of perfect white teeth, hiding underneath her plush red lips.
“Jake Matthews? He’s the shortstop.”
Gina’s jaw drops, but not mine. I’m running on autopilot right now, just as I have been for weeks.
Instead of acting surprised, I simply just nod, before walking numbly to our closet that houses the special orders.
“Alexa, right?”
“Yes, Alexa. Good memory.” She struts into the room, following me to the closet. “I hope you still have them. He ordered them for me a few weeks ago, but I’ve been a little bit busy so I haven’t gotten around to picking them up.”
A few weeks ago, which puts it at right about the same time that my heart was crushed.
He was ordering jerseys for his girlfriend, the one who he told me was lying when she said that he was moving home to start a family with her.
It was at the same time that my world was crashing down around me. I force myself not to break down and cry right here, even though I feel the tears building.
I grab the bag off the shelf and hand it to her, trying to control my hand from shaking. But I can’t. She gives me a questioning look, before thanking me and spinning on one heel, and leaving me there, standing in the closet, as the tears break free.