THIRTEEN

KAINE

I don’t know how I made it through the following Sunday’s church service with a straight face. With every blink, I saw Maggie’s face from Wednesday night, crestfallen from spilling her secret to me. 

And the taste of her lips. 

Something about kissing her changed me. 

I never wanted it to stop. And neither did she. 

She opened up to me like a delicate flower and I took her in my hands, careful not to crush her petals. 

We kissed that night until the clock chimed 9:00 pm like jolting us out of a fairytale. 

I told her she better get home before it got too late. She nodded, eyes wide, lips flushed and swollen, then walked out as if in a trance. 

I watched her get in her car and drive away before leaving myself. 

No words exchanged. No promises or excuses. 

But we didn’t need to exchange words to know that kiss changed everything for us. We felt it in the air. As she sat with her family in the chapel the following Sunday, an invisible line seemed to connect us to each other. Our eyes met and mirrored each other's. As I spoke, the whole room heard me, but I spoke only to her.

I saw the love and compassion inside her heart that night and it moved me. That same kind of compassion toward our fellow people was what inspired me to dedicate my life to God, but I seemed to lose sight of it at some point. 

She made me see it again. 

And it amazed me that someone with such a heart could come from two selfish, disingenuous people. How could a mother with such jealousy and contempt raise such a beautiful person? Two of them even, if Maggie’s sister was anything like her.

The more I learned about Magdalene Mays, the less I gave a fuck what our community would think if they knew about us. 

Maybe her family situation would scare away immature boys but I just wanted to know more. What happened with her sister? What drove her to become such an activist for the homeless? To invent something needy people could use and work tirelessly to make them again and again. 

She was beautiful, intelligent, strong-willed, and had the biggest, loving heart I ever saw in another person. How could any man not fall for her?

After the morning sermons by myself and other speakers, people gathered in the church courtyard for a potluck we held once a month. Everyone was welcome, even people just walking on the street, to the dismay of some church members. 

I sauntered right up next to Maggie's mother at the drink table the first moment I could.

"Glad to see you and your family here again, Lila," I said cheerily. 

"Oh, Pastor Cross!" 

Her hand flew to her chest in surprise, conveniently lowering her blouse a couple of inches but I kept my eyes trained on her face. 

"I didn't see you there." She batted her eyes and spoke in a coy, kittenish voice. 

"Sorry if I startled you," I said, helping myself to orange juice. "I just wanted to say you and Ben have done an excellent job in raising Maggie. She's a wonderful young lady."

Lila's lip twitched and her eyes flashed with envy. I almost rolled my eyes as I knew Maggie would. This woman was too damn predictable. 

"She is, isn't she?" She gave me a tight-lipped smile. "Thank you, pastor. We're relieved she's spending more time at church rather than with degenerates like she used to."

"Ah, I see." 

I sipped my orange juice, keeping my expression neutral. 

"Pardon me if this is an intrusive question, but do you have any other children?"

Her eyebrow twitched this time and her smile fell in obvious disappointment that I didn't ask more questions about her. 

"No, Maggie is our only one," she said flatly before giving a forced smile. "We've tried for more but were never successful."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said with feigned sympathy. "But God has great things in store for Maggie, I'm sure." 

"I hope so." She laughed dryly. "Maybe one day she'll listen when He tells her to stop running around looking like a little harlot."

I gave her a curt nod as I walked away, already past my limit with this woman. "Good day." 

While walking across the lawn, I threw back my Dixie cup of orange juice, wishing there was vodka in it, and crushed the paper cup in my fist until my nails dug into my palms. 

The words coming out of that woman's mouth sent my blood boiling. She didn't even deserve the title of mother, to speak of one child in such a cruel way and act like the other one never existed. 

I threw the cup into a trash can with more force than necessary and went to find Maggie. 

I spotted her sitting on a picnic with a pair of other women around her age and their toddler-aged children. Their names escaped me, but they were young, single mothers who attended church service occasionally and utilized some of our services for the needy. 

Naturally, this outcasted them from many of the regular church attendees who spoke about them in whispers behind their backs. But Maggie sat and ate lunch with them as if they were all friends who'd known each other for years. 

"Hey," I said as I came up to her and brushed my hand along her shoulder. Damn whoever saw it and gave a fuck. "Want to take a quick walk with me?" 

"Sure." She gazed up at me with a curious look before standing to her feet and walking alongside me.

I felt the eyes crawling along our backs as we walked to a more secluded area of the courtyard and wondered if she did too. The whispers would soon follow but I was past the point of caring. 

"Are you going to tell me the kiss was a mistake and we should act like it never happened?" she asked the moment we were out of earshot. 

The question took me aback. 

"No, that's not at all what I wanted to say." 

She waited silently, patiently as we walked together along church's garden pathway, away from the courtyard and prying eyes, toward the main chapel building. 

"If it's alright with you," I began. "I would like to meet your sister and nephew."

She stopped in her tracks, eyes wide in disbelief. 

"Really?"

"Yes, really. How often do you see them?"

"Um." She took her lip between her teeth, still processing my request in her head. "I try to at least once a week." 

"That's amazing," I breathed. "I really would like to join you next time you go, if it's not intruding." 

"No, no of course not," she stammered. "I'm just surprised." She looked me squarely in the eye. "Have you ever been to a homeless camp before?"

"Yes, of course," I replied. "I visited several before becoming ordained."

That was mostly the truth, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to wait a little longer before telling her the whole truth.

"Good, because it's quite a shock if you're not used to it," she answered. "Angie knows my sister too but she can't... she can't really handle seeing it. A lot of people can't." 

"I'll be fine," I assured her. 

We stood looking at each other, her lips curving into a sweet smile as that invisible, magnetic force drew us closer together.

This time, she leaned in to kiss me first. 

I caught her halfway, cupping her face to pull her in closer until she was flush against my body. 

Maybe it was talking to her mother that got me heated but kissing her this time felt different than our first one. 

Wednesday night was sweet and comforting as she confessed a secret to me. But this time, my tongue pried her mouth apart. My body pinned her between the stone wall of the church and my rock hard erection against her belly. 

Her mouth broke away from mine to gasp beautifully and I took the opportunity to create a trail of kisses down her neck where her soft flesh ignited with heat. Her sweet gasp turned into a hot moan as her hands flew to my hips, pulling me even deeper into her without actually penetrating. 

“Yes, please,” she whimpered into my ear. 

That little plea made my whole body stiffen with hardness like my cock. I wanted to drive into her sweet softness and tear her apart. It would be so easy to unzip, lift up her skirt and take her right here against the wall. I didn’t care if she was the devil himself in disguise. I tasted her and there was no going back.

I would have her. 

I would make her mine. 

But not yet. 

Voices echoed over the stone walls and we jumped apart like the other person was made of fire. 

Both of our bodies heaved as we sucked in deep breaths standing several feet away from each other. Two men appeared several yards away as the sources of the voices. They were never even close enough to see us-- the stone walls and archways just amplified them enough to sound right next to us. 

Maggie and I both let out sighs of relief and grinned wickedly at each other. The risk of getting caught was real but that was what made it exciting. 

Even so, our first time needed to be right. A time and place with no interruptions. Where we could have the freedom to explore and learn about each other without looking over our shoulders. 

“I should get back to my family,” she whispered breathily, her gorgeous chest still heaving with effort. 

I cupped her chin with one finger and lowered one final kiss to those lips that unraveled my whole world in just a few short days. 

“I’ll see you soon, my Magdalene.”