“Can we go somewhere more private?” I ask.

The three Stephenson brothers share quick glances, as if telepathically working out our possible exit strategies. They seem to come to a conclusion that satisfies all three of them.

One of these days, I’m going to have to ask how the hell they do that. I get the twins, but I’m not even sure if Austin’s aware that he’s in on it too. It’s like they have this magical little bubble of understanding where everything between them floats into place if they want it hard enough.

Sometimes it might take a little aggression, but the outcome is pretty much the same.

Callum’s the first one to leap into action.

“Sure,” he says, pointing back towards the resort. “We can go back to our bungalow. It’s the closest.”

He adds the last bit as if he’s rushing to explain his reasoning. I’d smile but I’m too nervous to do so. Being around these three gets me so rattled up that sometimes I’m surprised I have the presence of mind to still draw a breath or keep basic bodily functions, like walking, intact at all.

As I turn around, I feel a hand lightly resting on my lower back. I know it’s Austin from the touch without even having to think about it. It’s ingrained in me, my body responding to it with eager familiarity.

“Do you want to tell us what we’re in for?” Troy asks after a couple moments of quiet walking.

I can’t help but chuckle at that. Somehow, I’ve managed to pass my jitters over to these three men who you’d think couldn’t be swayed by anything.

“I think we just need to set things straight,” I say without divulging much.

We walk the rest of the way in silence, the twins flanking us while Austin keeps close to me. I keep finding myself wanting to lean into him, but I keep myself from doing that. It wouldn’t go far in my attempt to keep a ‘clear’ head.

Callum unlocks the door and shows us in. The cabin is larger than mine or Austin’s, with two master bedrooms and two master baths instead of one. It looks great and despite the occasional torn open suitcase courtesy of the twins – who I’m not surprised to find are used to living out of their luggage – it looks pretty clean.

I’m surprised.

Callum and Troy lead the way to a wide living room area, with big couches and a low coffee table. The floor-to-ceiling windows are overlooking the resort from the top of the small hill that the bungalow is placed on, and the ocean spreading out past it. It’s a killer view, especially with the sun turning red and purple as it dips down.

I could keep looking at it for hours. If for no other reason than to push this conversation further into the future.

“Spill it,” Troy says, prompting a grin from Callum.

They’re not exactly subtle, are they?

Austin’s sitting next to me on the couch, keeping some distance this time, while the twins have each grabbed a leather recliner. I’ve been working hard to keep my knees together and my head in the game since watching them on the field, but my thoughts keep straying.

No wonder, considering the things that all of them have done to me.

Things I can hardly believe actually happened because of how unreal they feel.

“I thought we needed a chance to talk things through,” I start, desperately trying to recall the speech I made up in my head before going out to the makeshift football field.

It’s like all the words have been wiped out of my head after seeing them play, their big, strong bodies beaded with sweat, their faces determined. Every breath I take makes my head a little lighter because of how they smell and keeping myself from throwing myself at Austin is getting harder and harder.

“We’re listening,” Austin says, urging me to go on.

I must have fallen silent for longer than I thought. I clear my voice, willing some of that courtroom prowess to show that originally prompted Mallory to give me a job in the first place.

“I know you guys have given me a chance to choose,” I say, and the words feel dirty.

How could I ever choose between them?

I don’t meet their gazes, focusing on my hands instead.

“And I appreciate it. I don’t really understand what you’ve seen in me, but-”

“Stop right there,” Callum says forcefully.

“Yeah, if you think you don’t have enough to offer-” Troy continues, but Austin silences them both.

“No self-deprecation here,” he says sternly, and it’s a command.

I bite my lip, looking at him for a moment. The urge to say “yes, sir” is stronger than I would have thought.

“Okay. The thing is, I can’t choose. Not only because you’re all… well, you’re all wonderful and I’d love to get to know each and every one of you better, but also because I really can’t. I can’t even be seen in private with any of you if I want to keep my job, let alone harbor any thoughts about building or maintaining a relationship.”

Some of it is wishful thinking. Honestly, no one’s promised me a relationship and I haven’t expected one either, but it sounds more decent than saying what I was offered – the fucking of a lifetime.

I rush through the next part.

“My boss should be arriving here tomorrow. That’s why I wanted to have this conversation today, so we would all be on the same page when she does get here. I don’t really have the words to describe what it meant to me to have… to have those moments with you, but I don’t think it should happen again.”

I let out a sharp breath. Speaking those words hurt me physically and when I look up, I see bitter disappointment in Troy’s and Callum’s gazes.

After a while, Troy nods reluctantly, and then shares a look with Callum. They seem to come to an agreement, though neither one of them seems particularly thrilled by it.

“We understand,” Troy says. “We put you in a tough spot and we could have probably handled it better between the three of us.”

He motions at himself, Callum and Austin. Even referring to the three of them in any sort of a joint fashion has me squirming in my seat. I’ve been completely obsessed by the idea and basically living vicariously through those daydreams, my fingers sunken into my pussy more times over the last week than they’ve probably been my all life.

I want them so bad.

And here I am, letting them go.

It’s insane and I can barely believe I’m doing it. My throat wants to close in on itself and I take another quick breath through my nose.

“We don’t want to jeopardize your career,” Callum adds.

I nod blankly.

All I really want to do is curl up in their warm embrace and never come out of that cocoon of safety. Every one of them individually has made me feel more loved and wanted than I ever was when I was with my fiancé Jacob and despite the situation being incredibly complicated, it has given me so much self-confidence that the bitter experiences with Jacob had robbed from me.

I’d started feeling like my old self again. Smiling, laughing, enjoying the moment for the simple pleasure of being in it. And now I’m sitting here, telling them that it all has to stop. That I’m not supposed to be allowed to be happy, and neither are they.

It fucking sucks.

I feel tears pricking my eyes but I refuse to cry. I won’t do it. No fucking way. I’m stronger than that. Jacob got all my tears and I don’t have any left to give.

We sit in silence for a moment until finally, Austin speaks up. It’s only then that I realize that he hadn’t said anything before. I turn to look at him and the fire in his eyes knocks the breath out of my lungs.

“What if you don’t have to choose,” he says, and it isn’t a question.

I stare at him blankly, yet my heart beats double-time, grasping at straws that I logically know are not there. But my heart doesn’t care.