I’m exhausted.

It’s two days from the wedding now and the whole day has been spent in carefully tucked away boardrooms in the back of the resort, listening to Milan and Robert scream at one another while I and Robert’s primary lawyer look on mostly helplessly.

Both of them have gone through the divorce process enough times to barely need us there for the legal stuff, and they definitely do not want to be interrupted amidst their vehement dislike for one another.

By the end of the day, we’re no closer to them agreeing on signing on anything, but I really need a drink.

“I think we made some nice progress today,” Robert’s lawyer – a nice, clean-cut guy by the name of Blake – tells me as we lock up for the night.

Milan stormed out five minutes ago and after a particularly salty rant in her wake, Robert did the same. It didn’t matter much though, because between the two of them, they have so many contradicting requests and so much general spite that making a workable contract out of this mess is sort of impossible.

Which is what I think Milan is banking on.

“Did we?” I ask Blake, almost scoffing at the notion.

I don’t, because I think he’s a nice guy and he’s as much between the jaws of inanity here as I am. I can bet a good amount of money on the fact that this was not Blake’s first choice for an assignment.

“Well, I’ve seen worse,” Blake says, shrugging. “And the base contract is really good. I think I can tweak it based on today and we can present it again tomorrow.”

“You think the happy couple will consider anything that might look like a step back for one of them? They’re not particularly in a compromising mood, in my opinion,” I say, a glimmer of hope coming to life in my chest when I look at Blake’s confident face.

He’s taking this far better than I am. But then again, I don’t think he’s dealing with quite so much distraction at the moment as I am.

And he doesn’t outright dislike his client, which probably makes it easier as well.

I can’t say how many times during today I just wanted to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs that Robert should not sign anything, because Milan has no intention of ever giving him time with Candice again. That their daughter is far too important to be having this petty fight over and they should be focusing on what’s good for her, instead of focusing on how hurt or angry they are at one another.

I didn’t say a word though. Because I can’t.

And it’s eating me up inside.

“Well, Robert made a promise to Andrea that the wedding would go off without a hitch and I don’t know about you, but in my book still being married to my ex-wife is sort of a major hitch.”

He chuckles at that and I give him a half-assed grin that doesn’t really make it to my eyes. I wish I had his confidence in this… and his naiveté.

“Tell you what, let’s agree to work on this together, alright? I’ll send the draft changes to you tonight and you can look them over so we can present them together tomorrow morning.”

“I think that would be great. Thank you, Blake,” I say, honestly grateful for the offer.

All I want to do is crawl into bed and forget that this day ever happened. I need to somehow manage to avoid the Stephenson brothers during the whole process as well because if I had reason to stay away from them before, those have doubled now. I’m terrified that if I run into them, I might just blurt out the whole fucking horrible secret.

I part ways with Blake at the front entrance of the resort and he waves at me with a tired, but charming grin. I stand there for a moment longer, wishing that I could still be attracted to guys like that.

Men that have their life all graphed out, knowing where they’re going and where they’re coming from. Men who live simple lives and would offer the same to me.

But I’ve been burned by one of them, and now men completely unlike Blake have set my world on fire in a whole different way. I don’t think I could ever even consider spending my life with someone so… average.

Which is just perfect, because I can’t get the men I really want either.

Gnawing on my bottom lip, I trudge through the resort towards my bungalow in relative darkness, guided by lit torches lining the pathways. My shoulders are hunched like the weight of the world’s on them and whenever I think of Candice’s happy smile when she was playing with her brothers, it almost feels like it is.

I feel like I’m doing wrong by her… but the only way to keep my confidentiality agreement with my client is to do that. To throw her, her brothers and her father under the bus.

Who is supposed to be able to live with that?

You’re not supposed to form personal relations with clients, a voice inside my head reminds me, sounding a lot like my old ethics professor at college.

I distinctly remember how much I loved that professor’s classes, how I thought she was saying all the right things and how I would never stray from the ethics of my profession. After all, people had defended murderers and kept their secrets safe and were the bastions of our profession at the same time – I couldn’t be any less.

It would be strictly professional, I would keep my emotions out of it. That’s what I’d told myself.

And it had worked.

Until the Stephensons came along.

Now everything’s screwed up and I don’t know how to fix it.

I’m so deep in thought that I don’t initially even notice the petals scrunching under my open-toed sandals as I approach my house. I frown when I finally make out the little red petals and stop in my tracks to look at them. As I look up, I see that there’s a whole trail of them leading up to my bungalow.

And the lights are on inside.

What the…

My heart starts beating fast as I make my way forward. As I grab the doorknob, I notice my hand shaking a little from the confusion and the anticipation. I think I know what this is, but it feels like a dream I’m afraid to wake up from.

I push the door open and I find a dinner table set in the small lounge room before the bedroom, with blood red roses, the same color as the petals leading up to the bungalow, in a simple glass vase in the middle of the table. It’s decked with food, and the most delicious looking cherry pie, and the whole building smells divine.

But I really only have attention for the three nervous faces of the men standing in the room. Austin, Callum and Troy are all there, dressed in business casual, with button-up shirts and slacks and clean shaves. I’ve never seen them look so anxious and they’re studying my expression hard.

I think all they can read off of it is pure surprise right now.

“What is this?” I ask, stunned.

“Come in,” Austin says, and as if not of my own volition, I push the door shut behind me, but don’t lock it.

He walks to me but doesn’t grab me in his arms like my brain immediately suggested that he should do. Instead, he stops in front of me and the twins join him, setting me to face the wall of delicious men just like they did in my office last week. This time, though, I’m not trying to hide from them or to get away as fast as I can.

“We wanted to show you a different side,” Callum starts.

“One that doesn’t have to entail fucking you to shreds,” Troy offers with a grin, and I have to mirror it.

He has an infectious smile, the rare times that he uses it.

“You did this all… for me?” I ask, looking at the set table and the candles lit on it.

It’s beautiful, put together perfectly. Four seats at the table at each edge, designating a place for each of us.

“We did,” Austin says. “Though truth be told, Troy did most of the cooking.”

“You did?” I ask, surprised.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about us,” Troy says with a chuckle, and I nod.

Apparently there is.

To say I’m surprised would be putting it lightly. Austin puts his arm around my shoulders gently and leads me to the table, where Callum pulls out a chair for me and Troy pops open a bottle of Dom Perignon. He pours us all a glass as the men take their seats, with Austin across from me and a twin to either side of me, and then hands me a flute.

I accept it with a hand that’s just as shaky as it was when I opened the door.

“Are you surprised?” Callum asks with a chuckle.

“Do I look anything but surprised?” I ask, arching my brows.

“Positively, I hope,” he prods, giving me a wink.

I smile and Troy clears his voice, turning our attention to him.

“I didn’t expect things to go as they have. I think that’s true for all of us. But Lily, you’ve been on all our minds and we’ve come to realize that we don’t want to be without you. Whatever it takes to show you that we’re serious about that, including tackling all of the challenges that might arise, we’re there for you.

“May this be the first night of many. A night where we can get to know each other like we deserve to, and grow together.”

We clink our glasses together and I bite down on my lower lip a little, trying to contain the swell of emotions within me.

I’m overwhelmed to say the least, but also overjoyed. They’re going to such lengths to show me how much they care, and I wish I could enjoy it to the fullest. Yet at the back of my mind, the bell still tolls… the one that keeps reminding me that I’m hiding something from them. Something that has the strength to ruin lives and to break up their family.

And that it’s not fair to keep it from them… But if I don’t, my career could just as well be over.

This can’t last, a bitter voice within me tells me, one that I seek to ignore completely. Just like last time, this is just a daydream that will disappear.

I push that deep within myself, refusing to give it any more attention. I want to stay in the moment, with Austin, Callum and Troy. I want to enjoy the time we have. And I want to thank them for everything they’re doing for me.

Now how can I do all of that while still remaining true to my principles?