MICHAEL
If I thought it was hard trying to avoid Lana beforehand, I had no idea. After our kiss, it was that much more difficult. She made it so clear that she wanted me to stay out of her way, and since that's what made her comfortable, I’m willing to give in, but we live in the same place so it's not as if I can avoid her all the time.
Every time we run into each other a blush flashes across her face, and she fights to look away, as though she doesn’t want to look me in the eyes. It hurts, I'll admit it, but I respect Lana, and I want her to feel welcome here, even if that means she doesn't speak to me anymore outside of necessity and pleasantries.
But on the nights that she's up, having trouble sleeping, or when I come home early to go over the business matters with Joseph and she’s here, it's like there's this tension getting wound tighter and tighter by several degrees. I'm waiting for the day that it finally pulls too tight, breaking at both ends. I can only hope that the longer she spends here, the more likely she is to feel as I do.
The end of Lana's job here with us closer and closer in sight. Joseph's already started physical therapy again, happy to be moving around finally, and I'm glad to see him back on his feet quite literally, even as slow-moving as he is for now. When he comes back up each day from his PT down in the spa room, there seems to be a sense of accomplishment in his eyes, like a little piece of him finally settling back into place. It's good, but it also means Lana and Olivia will be gone before too long.
I don’t want to think about that.
I push open the front door, after fishing around for my keys in my pocket, glad to be out of that ridiculous meeting with the board members. With everything going on with our deal with Paolo, the last thing I need is to have to fight for everything in our company, and wrestle it away from the remaining board members.
I'm surprised to see Olivia perched on the end of the sectional in the open living room area, reminding me of a little bird sitting there, flipping through pictures on her tablet. "Good morning," I say, not wanting to startle her, but as always, she's completely unruffled, looking up at me with her big brown eyes and smiling back. "Good morning, Michael."
I lean in to get a better look at the picture she's looking at, seeing a group of kids around. All wearing iconic mouse ears. "What's that you got there?"
"I'm just looking at these pictures of my friend Hallie, and her family. They just got back from Disneyland." She slides her finger across the tablet a couple more times, before pointing to a little blonde-haired girl with her two front teeth missing, holding up bunny ears behind a smaller little girl and little boy, presumably her brother and sister.
I smile. "I remember when my mom took me and Joseph to Disneyland for the first time. We were a couple years younger than you, of course, but it was still amazing. I remember how Joseph hated riding the flying the Dumbo ride. He was kind of a big baby back then," I say, winking at her.
"I've always wanted to go to Disneyland. I know a ton of people who have, but my dad did say he would take me one day. Then again…he says a lot of things." She trails off, flicking her fingers faster across the tablet, clearly agitated. Immediately I feel terrible for saying anything.
"Well, if you want, I can take you and your mom to Disneyland."
I love the way her eyes light up, her small jaw hanging wide open. "Really? You would do that?"
From down the hall, a door shuts, and in comes, Lana decked out in her scrubs, surprised to see me standing here talking to her daughter. She gives me a small but polite smile and I can almost hear the question in her eyes. What's up?
"Mom!" Olivia spins around to face her. "Michael just said that we can all go to Disneyland together! Isn't that awesome?"
I can't help but smile at Olivia's absolute enthusiasm, but when Lana doesn't say anything, I catch a glance at her and the smile is immediately wiped from my face. She's not pleased. At all. Even her smile is stiff as she looks back down to her daughter.
"Olivia, why don’t you go ahead and finish up your homework?" She gestures to where the bedroom is, and even Olivia can tell something has shifted in the way her mom has spoken.
When Olivia turns and gives me a sympathetic look, that's when I know it's serious. "Good luck," she whispers to me before hopping off the edge of the couch and heading out of the room.
I barely have a moment to register what's happening before Lana storms up to me, her face positively livid. "What the hell do you think you're doing, making promises to my daughter like that?"
I hold up my hands, not wanting to fight. "I assure you, I can afford the tickets no problem. Hell, I can shut down the whole damn park for you too if you want."
Lana just lets out a groan of the exasperation, her eyes narrowing even more. "That is so not the point here, Michael. What are you doing making promises to Olivia like that? Are you trying to buy her affection to get to me?"
It's not like that at all, and I find myself meeting her anger with some of my own, completely forgetting to keep my cool. "That’s not what this is about. Lana. I care about you, you know? And about Olivia, too. I thought that would've been obvious by now. I probably don't have to tell you that my brother has feelings for you as well, do I?"
She's flustered, but clearly not about to cave just yet. "It's nothing like that at all," she says, dismissing me. "It's just familiarity. Your brother? He's just crushing on his nurse, it's something that happens all the time actually."
I take a step closer to her, unable to help myself. "And me? You're not my nurse. How do you explain that?"
The fierceness in her eyes falters for just a moment. "No, but…you're just lonely, maybe."
Another step. "Even if that were the case…I mean, isn't everyone just lonely until they aren't anymore? What about you, Lana? Are you lonely?"
The steel is back in her eyes as she juts her thumb behind her. "That little girl in there has already had the most important man in her life come and go on a whim, without a single care. I am not about to let you or your brother convince her that you care enough about her just to disappear when she's not needed anymore. And what happens when you decide it's time to march some new supermodels or showgirls or whatever around your famous bachelor pad again? What happens then, Michael? How am I supposed to explain that to her?"
Her words to get me because that’s not what I’m about. Joseph maybe, but not me. "What makes you think that's what I want?"
She waves her hands around, gesturing to the penthouse. "Please. What else do men like you and your brother want?"
I don't bother making the case that maybe my brother and I aren't so bad after all. I’m not here to plead our case. I fix my eyes on hers and instead tell her something that’s been eating away at me for too long. "I want you, Lana."
She takes a few steps backward, licking her lips. Clearly, she was not expecting me an answer like that. "Well, I don't want you,” she says, but her voice is soft, faltering.
"And I don't believe that for one damn second. You're just lying to yourself."
Lana grits her teeth. "It doesn't matter if it's a lie or not, I'm the employee here remember? I work for you and as a nurse and that means something. There are lines that I'm not willing to cross, not for you or for your brother."
“But you’ve thought about it, haven’t you?” My voice is husky. I’ve spent too many nights imagining doing things to Lana that will make her cheeks blush but she’s got walls up that I can’t seem to break through.
Lana stares at me, and it’s as though she has a million words on the tip of her tongue but she can’t seem to find the words to say. She blinks and then looks toward the window.
I shrug my shoulders, unsure of what else I can say if she won’t even go so far as to admit that. “How long can you push me away, Lana? How long can you fight the way you feel?”
“Long enough,” she says softly, then she walks away and I’m left standing alone.