Chapter Twenty-Three
Delilah
“That looked like it hurt really bad,” I said to Brandon as we stood outside and wrapped up everything the police needed from us.
“It did. I’m going to need a massage to feel better.”
“Oh, you think so?”
“Yep.”
The police took longer than we thought they was going to take and I ended up having to call Mary and Steve to tell them I wouldn’t be able to pick up Connor on time. Of course, I wasn’t about to go into all the details of what had happened that day. But they were understanding and promised to take him to school the next day for me.
“Man, I’m really lucky to have them,” I said to Brandon as we waited.
“So, does this mean you have the evening free?” His eyes lit up.
“Don’t go getting any ideas, mister. I’m exhausted, and you look like you are, too. I think I’ll just head home when they are done with me.”
“You’re right, I should head home, too. I mean, I am so tired and if you’re not going to be giving me an awesome massage, what else could I possibly do with my evening?”
His boyish grin was all it took for me to change my plans. I didn’t really want to go home to an empty house. I wanted to stay right there with Brandon. I wanted to feel his arms on my body again and his lips on my lips.
I didn’t feel the same fear I had had before about being in a real relationship. Instead, I had an urge to have that with Brandon. I’d seen what he was capable of. I’d seen the love and caring that he could show and it was obviously that I needed to keep him in my life.
“I think you should use those hands on me instead of heading home. I mean I did just risk my life. Plus, did you see that girl fight between me and your ex-wife. That will be in your spank bank for years.”
“Yeah, isn’t that the truth? Should we head back to my place and relax a bit? I still need to call the bank and figure out how to get the accounts unfrozen.”
“Sure.”
We made our way back to Brandon’s house, but when we arrived, the front door was opened and the alarm was going off. Neither of us could believe our eyes. If Antonio and Carlos had just been arrested, then who was trying to break into the house?
“Stay here,” Brandon said forcefully as he got out of the car to head inside. “I’m serious. None of your hero stuff, young lady. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. Stay here.”
“Should I call the police?”
“No, the security company will be here shortly. But don’t come in after me. Carlos could have had someone else working with him. There could be someone with a gun or any number of other things. You promise me that you’re not going to come in there?”
“I promise. I’ll stay right here.”
I stood outside the car as Brandon went inside. I waited to hear some sort of commotion when he confronted whomever had broken into the house. The tension was killing me as I paced back and forth and watched through the windows to see what the heck was going on.
“Are you okay in there?” I hollered out.
There was no reply. My heart pounded louder, and I could hardly think straight as I walked closer and closer to the front door. I didn’t have my phone with me. There was no way the police would get to us in time if someone was in there.
Fear was a hard emotion for me and I struggled with it more than I wanted to admit in my life. I wasn’t going to let it control me though, and this situation was no different. I took in a deep breath and prepared myself for whatever was going on inside of Brandon’s house.
I had promised that I wouldn’t go inside, but that was before I knew what the unknown felt like. I needed to know he was all right. I was willing to risk everything if I had to.
“Brandon, are you okay in there?” I yelled again from the doorway.
“Ahhhhhhh!” I heard a woman scream.
It was a blood-curdling scream, and I rushed into the house, not thinking about anything except making sure Brandon was all right.
“Maria!” Brandon yelled.
“What’s going on in there?”
“It’s fine. Come in and punch five-two-eight-one into the keypad by the door, please,” he shouted.
I quickly punched the numbers into the alarm so the loud sound would silence and I could go find Brandon. My ears continued to ring as I went down the hall and found the room where he was standing with a slightly older woman who was holding a mop. She looked terrified, but so did Brandon.
“Mr. Baker, I’ve not been able to get into clean the house all week. I lied about being here legally and did not want to be arrested by the police. The alarm goes off and I was scared always. But today I stayed because I do not want to be fired, so today I stayed to clean.”
“Maria, I’m so sorry. I was going to tell you I had the alarm set again and I got wrapped up with a big disaster. Please, accept my apologies. I’m sorry for scaring you.”
“I’m sorry for the noise. I left the last couple times I set the alarm off, but I have not been able to catch you at home. I was very afraid that you would not let me clean if you knew I was not supposed to be working here. I was also afraid the security men would think I was breaking in, and I did not want to have trouble.”
“Oh, it’s my fault. I am so sorry,” Brandon said as I stood in the doorway. “Maria, this is my girlfriend Delilah. Delilah, this is the most amazing house keeper you’ll ever meet, Maria. Who I’m going to have to give a big bonus to since she’s had to put up with this alarm all week.”
“Really?”
“Yes, now don’t worry about all this. Take the day off and again, I’m very sorry. This was all my fault. I’ll pay you for the week and make sure there is a nice bonus in your check.”
Maria seemed to calm down very quickly as Brandon talked to her. I felt so bad for her.
“It was nice meeting you, Miss Delilah,” she said as she shook my hand. “I look forward to seeing you again soon. You are the first friend of Mr. Baker I’ve met.”
“Well, it was nice meeting you, too, Maria. I think we will see each other again very soon. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
As she was leaving, the security company was pulling up. It only took a minute or so to explain to them what had happened and they were on their way. The security guy didn’t seem to think the whole incident was as funny as Brandon thought it was. By the look on his face, the guard looked pretty annoyed that they had come out to the house so many times throughout the week and it was all because Brandon hadn’t told his housekeeper the new alarm code.
“Now that was funny.”
“I know! I spent the whole week thinking that the big-necked thug was going to come in the house and murder me while I was sleeping. It turns out it was just Maria trying to do her job.”
We stood in the entryway of his house as his arms pressed me up against the wall and his lips devoured mine. I’d been waiting to have him near me like that again. Everything that had gone on throughout the week had made our lives so chaotic, it was a relief to be there with him and in the safety of his arms.
“I’m pretty sure you promised me a massage,” I teased him as his hands moved toward my shirt as if he was going to take it off.
“Oh, yes. That’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m going to give you a massage. Head over to the couch and I’ll work every muscle you have,” he winked.
I could barely walk as his arms stayed wrapped around me and his lips moved up and down my neck while we made our way into the living room. I walked down the two steps and toward the couch when I saw the beautiful painting hanging on the opposite wall.
“What’s that?” I said as I noticed the painting I had admired from the art show a few weeks ago.
Brandon pressed up behind me and wrapped me in his arms as we stood in front of the large painting. I looked at the details again, just as I had done when I first saw it at the art show. It was a beautiful painting, that was for sure. But it also had so much emotion to it. Each little detail told a story that I felt like I could stand and look at for a year and never get tired of it.
“I bought it at an art show the night I saw you.”
“What? You saw me there?” I said in total surprise. “I didn’t see you.”
“Oh, yes. Josh and I saw a man grab your arm, and you looked like you were going to slice his head right off of his body. I didn’t know it was you until after we met. But Josh thought it was, and so I messaged you on the dating app.”
“So, you didn’t just message me because of the bikini photo? I really thought that was my big selling point.”
“What? Me? Noooo,” he laughed. “I’m not that shallow. Okay, maybe that was why I first messaged you, but it certainly wasn’t why I kept talking to you. You’re an amazing woman, Delilah.”
“I can’t believe you’re the person who bought this. It was a really expensive painting; I remember that much. I remember standing in the gallery and how my heart raced as I looked at all the intricate details built into the red paint. Then when I moved closer and looked at the blue, it was as if a calming sensation took over. It’s really an amazing piece of art.”
“Noah painted something that looked a lot like this after our trip to Hawaii. It had the blue as the waves and red as the sky. I lost it, though. He painted it before he got sick, and we didn’t save it. If we had known he would get sick, I’m sure Rose and I would have saved every single thing he had ever done while at school.
“Anyways, when I saw it at the show, I just had to have it. I actually have never spent that much on anything, especially a piece of art. I was just moved to buy it.”
“I see how it could look like the ocean. I bet this is very meaningful to you. That’s what I think art is supposed to be. I know some people just collect paintings because they are popular or the artist is the latest thing. But to me, art should be about the emotion that the work evokes in you. Especially if you’re going to be spending this kind of money on it.”
“I could sit on the couch and stare at it forever. It really does remind me so much of Noah, but not in a sad way. It’s more like I feel his presence and he’s watching over me. It makes me feel calm just standing here in front of it. Maybe I’ll even be able to go back to Hawaii someday and the beach that inspired Noah’s painting.”
“I’d love to take Connor to Hawaii someday; he’s always wanted to go there. Probably because I’ve always wanted to go,” I laughed.
“I would really like to meet your son someday. I don’t want to rush you, and I don’t mean that I should meet him right away. I don’t even know if I’m ready to meet a little boy after losing Noah, but I do know that I want to continue seeing you, and that means I want to know your son and love him as much as I can.”
“That sounds like a very reasonable plan. But…” I said as I pulled away from him. “I think it’s only going to happen if you can keep your promises. Don’t you agree that it’s very important for people to keep their promises?” I smiled as I lured him into what I was going to say next.
“I always keep my promises.”
“Then get to work on that massage,” I laughed as I turned around and pressed my back up against him.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said as he swept me off my feet and threw me onto the couch.
It was so much fun to be with Brandon. He made me feel like I was young and carefree again. Being around him had my heart fluttering and my face smiling like I’d thought I’d never have the chance of experiencing ever again.
His lips explored every inch of my body as we lay together in his living room. Each touch of his hands, each kiss of his lips made me fall more and more in love with him. As his hands explored me, I felt comfortable in my skin, more so than I had felt in a very long time.
It was weird to have the word love on my tongue after only knowing Brandon for such a short time. I knew it was odd and tried not to think about it, but as we moved together, I knew the truth. I did love him, and I’d love him for as long as he’d let me.
Brandon and I had bonded so much in our short time together that I couldn’t wait to explore what would be next for us. But in that moment, I just wanted to feel the pleasure he could give me. We made love on his couch for hours and hours as our bodies melted together into one.
Life hadn’t been easy for me. It had thrown me some wild and crazy turns.
I certainly hadn’t expected to find love while working at a dating company and I hadn’t expected for one date to turn into the amazing feelings that I had toward Brandon. But there we were: two hurt humans who had found each other and healed each other.
Epilogue
Brandon
“If we hurry, we can catch the sunset,” I urged as we got into the car that was waiting for us at the airport.
“Brandon, if you hadn’t been on that call with your new business partners, we would have gotten off the plane in time to get over here,” Delilah teased me as we had the driver head to the beach. “Don’t blame this on me. I had all my shoes packed and ready to go on time.”
“Mom, where are we going?” Connor asked.
Connor had done fantastically on our flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu. It was a long flight over a lot of water and I wasn’t sure how well he was going to handle it. Delilah had told me that he was afraid of planes and even had a nightmare the night before because he thought our plane was going to crash.
As soon as the plane took off though, Connor seemed to relax as he cuddled between Delilah and I, and we had a smooth flight. It probably didn’t hurt that I had splurged on a private jet – it was nearly impossible not to be comfortable on one of those. I didn’t like to waste money, but if it was going to make him comfortable, I was willing to do it. In fact, I would do almost anything for that boy.
Delilah and I had been dating for several months and my time with Connor had really helped me grow as a man. I’d been so caught up in the loss of Noah that I worried I wouldn’t be able to be around Connor, but I loved being around him. He was fun, and we played and got along great. He taught me all about his favorite animal, the squirrel, and I taught him about throwing a baseball and how to hit off a tee for his tee ball league. We had without doubt become buddies, which was a huge relief for me.
“We are heading to the beach before it gets too dark to see the sunset. Remember that really cool picture at Brandon’s house? The blue and red one that is in the living room?” Delilah said as she held Connor’s hand.
“The giant one? Oh, man, I love that painting. I like the blue side better than the red, though.”
“Yeah, we are going to see the beach that reminds Brandon of his son Noah and the painting he made at school. Remember I told you the story of how Noah had painted a picture that looked almost exactly like that painting on the wall?”
“Oh, that’s awesome. I can’t wait to see it. Will there be those mean words on the red part, though? I don’t like those.”
“No, there won’t be those. It’s going to look a little different than the painting, but I know you’re going to love it.”
“You know I’m really sorry I had to take that business call. I’m just so excited about this new company,” I said to Del as our driver made his way down the coast and toward the beach we were heading to. “Things are really going fantastic, and we are turning a profit already. It’s almost unheard of to be profitable at this early in the business.”
“Oh, honey, I know. I’m just teasing you. You take all the time you need. I’m really excited about your new company, too. It’s going to be huge. After all those cyber-attacks that have been going on, a company that truly can help keep people’s information safe is exactly what businesses are looking for.”
Delilah and I had come up with the best idea for a new dating company. Not only would it have state-of-the-art technology, but we hired the best of the best to incorporate the most top of the line security available. Customers could trust that their intimate information was safe and nothing was going to happen to it.
Luckily, the company had been doing great and within the first few months, we had seen huge growth. Not only had our clients doubled, but our advertisers loved the concept and we were gaining more revenue than any of our competition. We had a winner already and it was hard not to be excited about the whole thing. I needed a business to run and couldn’t have stayed home without work another week longer.
“Are we almost there?” Connor asked as it started to get dark in the car.
We had been traveling almost all day long. Between getting packed and driving to the airport, then flying and sitting on the tarmac in Hawaii, Connor looked exhausted. It was a lot to expect he could stay up too much longer, but I hoped he’d at least make it to see the sunset.
“Yep, we are getting close. Keep your eye out over there. Soon the waves will look like the blue from the painting and the sky will look like the red, but without the words,” I said softly to him.
I loved Delilah’s son like he was my own. It had been hard at first to be around him because he reminded me so much of my Noah. Not that they looked alike or anything like that, just his innocence and joy when he looked at the world.
I really had been terrified that I wouldn’t be able to handle the job of being any sort of father figure to Connor. Luckily, Connor had made the transition flawless for me and my fears quickly died down.
“You’re doing great with him,” Del said as she grabbed my hand. “He really likes you. I think sometimes he even likes you more than he likes me. That’s pretty darn good for being the new guy in his life.”
“I feel like I’m doing it all for the first time again. You would think I’d remember how this whole thing worked. Sometimes I think I sound like the lamest old guy on earth.”
“Well, it’s different with every kid. There’s no real way to know if you’re doing it right or not. I guess we will just have to see how much therapy he has to go through when he becomes an adult.”
We both laughed at the thought of Connor someday being an adult. I’d only known him a few months, but I really had started to bond with him. He was a funny kid and so much like Delilah. He was turning six soon, and I hoped we would continue to get along as he made his way to adulthood, although I certainly couldn’t imagine that day ever coming.
“We are here,” the driver said. “I’ll stay here and wait for you. Take your time.”
“Oh, Brandon, it looks just like the painting,” Del said as we got out of the car and went to the beach to sit for a minute.
She was right: it did look just like the painting. I could hardly move as I took it all in.
Of course, it was different because it was real and not an actual painting, but I flashed back to when Noah had given me his version of the sight and how excited he had been. His eyes had lit up and he was so proud of the work. I could tell this spot and our trip to Hawaii had meant a lot to him.
“Yeah, even more beautiful than I remember it,” I managed to say as I held back my tears.
“I wish you still had Noah’s painting, but I’m so glad you bought the one you did. I can just imagine what his painting looked like and what it must have meant to you.”
“This moment means so much to me, Del. This is what I want for my future, for our future. I want you and I want Connor. We both have pasts, and I don’t want either one of us to have to forget about those, but I want to go to beautiful places and sit on beaches and make memories together, the three of us.
“Delilah Hunter, will you marry me?”
The words hadn’t been planned at all. I didn’t have a ring and I hadn’t talked to her family, but as the emotion of the moment hit me, I couldn’t let it pass us by. I was done living in the past and ready to live in the future with Delilah and Connor. My heart raced as I waited for her to give me some sort of answer. I even slid down to one knee and looked up at her hoping that she would say yes.
“I don’t know. What about Connor? I haven’t talked to him yet about this. I should probably…”
“Mom, say yes, he loves you,” Connor said as he turned around from looking at the sunset and came to stand next to me.
“Thanks, man,” I said as I gave him a fist bump and pulled him next to me. “See, we are a team.”
“Well, then… if my little man here is on board, then my answer is definitely yes.”
“Yes?” I asked to verify. “Dude, did your mom just say yes to marrying me?” I whispered as I kneeled next to Connor and gave him a hug. “I think she really did say yes.”
“Yep, she did.”
“Yes. I said yes, you silly boys!”
PRIEST
By Claire Adams
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2015 Claire Adams
Chapter One
jace
I stood in front of the floor-length mirror in my room at the church where I’d served as parish priest for the past two years. I stared at myself in my black cassock and thought about the days ahead.
It wasn’t moving to a new church that troubled me — it was moving forward with a crucial piece of my life no longer intact. I’ve been devout in my faith since I was a child. But as I gazed at my reflection…I was having doubts.
I looked at the man in the mirror and instead of seeing Father Jace, I saw the reflection of a frightened little boy. That little boy had been brought to where he was through the love and devotion of a woman — and now she was gone and I was questioning everything about my life.
My grandmother used to say, “Be humble and respectful to everyone, whether you are sure they deserve it or not.” She taught me not to judge people too harshly and that if you worked hard and did good things, you would always prosper.
When Grandma talked about prospering, she wasn’t talking about money. She taught my brothers and me that prosperity was about your family and your friends. The people that you kept within your inner circle said more about you than anything, according to her, and I had come to believe that myself.
She also always said if you looked hard enough, no matter how far you stray, it was always possible to find a path back into God’s good graces. That one I used to believe without a doubt, but those doubts had started to work their way in.
I had strayed from my faith the moment they told me she was dead. I had spent most of my nights since railing against God, instead of praying to Him. My grandmother didn’t need my prayers for her soul. She was the purest soul that ever existed. The irony is if she were still here, she would be the first to tell me to hit my knees and pray hard for forgiveness.
I was holding out hope I’d be ready to do that soon, but for the time being, I’d have to fake it. That day, repentance was not on the agenda. I knew that when I had to stand there and helplessly watch them lower her into the ground, instead of rejoicing for her soul, I would be agonizing over the pain in mine.
I was angry, but I was not supposed to be. I was a priest, but damn it, I was also human. My grandmother was dead. She was the light that always beckoned me home, no matter how lost I’ve been. I was angry and sad and confused, and no amount of praying would give me the answers to my questions. How was I supposed to find my way any longer?
It was just after 12 o'clock. The old church bells rang out, and from my second story room, I could hear the flock of pigeons the bells sent into disarray as they cooed and flapped violently away from the bell tower of the old church.
I heard the echo of each slow chime as I made my way through the cavernous inner halls on my way to the vestry. The sounds reverberated off the stones that held the sacred building together and bounced off the stained-glass windows and polished, oak pews.
With a heavy heart and a deep ache in my soul, I draped the white stole about my neck in preparation for the mass I was about to say, as was tradition. I begged God to give me on the last day the garment of immortality that was forfeited by our sinful first parents.
I was on autopilot. I was a priest; it was what I did, what I knew to do.
The mourners filled the church, and I believed I handled the mass with as much dignity as humanly possible. I had a hard time suppressing my own grief as I watched the broken faces of my brothers in the front pew. I managed to keep it together, and even remain pious in my thoughts, until we reached the cemetery.
When I stepped out of the black car into the brilliant sunlight and looked around at the vibrant colors of spring that surrounded me, my anger returned with a vengeance. My grandmother was dead and the sun was offensively bright and cheerful.
It was as if God and the elements were conspiring to show me that the world would go on just fine without her. It shouldn't, and that’s why I was so angry. As far as I was concerned, everything should be as dark and gray as my emotions were. The weather should have been damp and cold, and the birds should not have been singing in the trees overhead.
I walked through the cemetery like a silhouette of myself. I wished I was as insubstantial as the shadows. Shadows don’t have to feel the tangle of emotions that were twisting around in my gut. I stood near the freshly dug hole and waited for the coffin to arrive.
I was no longer apologetic to my Father in Heaven. I was pissed.
******
“Touching service, Father,” a young congregate said to me as she shook my hand after the funeral. I forced a smile and nodded at her.
“My condolences for your loss, Father. Your grandmother was a great lady,” the next one told me as he shook my hand.
“We’ll all miss her, Father…”
It went on and on. My head felt like it might literally explode and shoot off my shoulders before the last member of the congregation shook my hand and headed for their car. Finally, I was alone with my grandmother and my brothers.
“How are you doing, Jace?” My brother Max was at my side. He was the oldest and the one that would be counted on to hold us together with Grandma gone.
“I’ve been better,” I said, wiping a stray tear from my cheek. “How about you?” My other brother, Ryan, walked up as we talked.
“I’m hanging in there. I’m not sure what to do without her. She will be sorely missed.” I had no doubts Max would miss her, but he’d been independent since we were taken from the house of horrors that was our life and placed with Grandmother when he was 10. I was 6 at the time, and Ryan was only six months.
Ryan’s eyes and face were swollen and red. He still lived with Grandmother, and I had no doubts her death would leave the biggest void in his life. She coddled him a little too much, and at 25, he was more dependent on her than a man really had a right to be.
“Hey,” he said with a chin tilt. Even at a funeral he was still clinging to the cool-guy, motorcycle stud stereotype. I opened my arms and it all fell away. He folded into them and sought the strength of his big brother and priest. I could at least be one of those for him.
As soon as I closed my arms around him, his shoulders began to shake and he unloaded the grief that he’d been trying so hard to hold back. “I know that I’m not supposed to think like this,” he said between sobs. “But I’m so angry, Jace. We all still needed her. Why does God let things like this happen? She was nothing but good. Why does he take the good ones so soon?”
Ryan, out of all of us, had struggled with his faith the most. It was the first time I didn’t have answers for him. I’d been asking those questions myself.
“I wish I knew, Ryan. All we can do now is have faith and trust that she’s at peace and we’ll see her again someday.” Such a priest-like thing to say…but I was at a loss.
My brother seemed to accept it. He nodded against my shoulder and then pulled back and looked at my face. His green eyes were so much like mine, and his sandy-blond hair fell down across his forehead the same way mine did when it got too long.
He was a younger version of me, but even priest compared to biker, he was a more innocent version. Ryan hadn’t known our parents long enough for the scars to take hold of him. Grandmother was all he’d ever known as a caregiver, and she did a stellar job.
“I have to take off,” Max said. “I have a meeting across town at four. Maybe we can all have lunch Sunday?”
“If it’s a late lunch,” I said. “I’ll be serving my first mass at St. Luke’s on Sunday.”
“Oh, that’s right. You’re moving to Lexington tomorrow, I almost forgot. At least it’s only 30 minutes away.”
“Yeah, I’ll still see you guys a lot. Let’s plan on three for lunch at Mike and Patty’s. Will that work for you, Ryan?”
My little brother looked like I’d pulled him out from under the water as he refocused his attention. “Mike and Patty’s at three. I’ll be there.”
I hugged them both again and watched them go before I made my way back to the car the church provided for me. I climbed into the backseat and the driver said, “Back to the church, Father?”
“Yes. Actually, if you don’t mind, Mitch, can we swing by Albert’s Grocery on the way?”
******
Two hours after my grandmother’s earthly body was lowered into the ground, I sat in my upstairs room at St. Anthony’s parish, still in my cassock and scarf, sipping scotch out of the bottle.
I’d gone into Albert’s Grocery under the guise of buying my specialty tea. The driver had stayed in the car, so it was easy to slip the bottle of scotch into my reusable bag and take it through the self-check-out. A priest buying a bottle of scotch might cause some talk. A priest sitting alone in his room drinking scotch was not only pathetic…he was destined to be tortured by guilt.
At that point, I was willing to deal with the consequences when they arose. Being numb had its benefits.