Rainer
I instructed my driver to drop me off around the block, telling him I wanted to grab a coffee or some nonsense, and I waited until the sleek SUV disappeared before I started walking. Tasha's new office was in the center of downtown Oakland. Businesses were slowly returning to the vibrant little city, and I was impressed that she had picked a place with such a good vibe.
There was a coffee shop in the lobby of her building, and I took a minute to review its menu of fresh-roasted coffee and artisanal chocolate. A woman smiled at me over her laptop, and I realized I was staring off into space. I was stalling.
I edged down the block and entered the building's main lobby. Marble walls and gold-leaf spoke to the building's historic status, and I was tempted to sit down and admire it. Instead, I opted to take the stairs to Tasha's top floor offices.
As I climbed, I wondered how on earth Tasha had convinced Stan to open up shop in such a neighborhood. He had deep San Francisco roots, and I didn't foresee him traveling across the bay every day. I pushed open the door on the top floor and got my answer: the new company sign featured Tasha's name, which meant Stan was planning to retire.
The receptionist nodded to me and then glanced back with a widening smile. She smoothed down the front of her silk blouse and gave her lipstick a quick lick. "Hello, I'm Amber. Is there anything I can help you with?"
I didn't know whether to be pleased or irritated. It had been nice staying out of the tabloids, but people still recognized me, especially in the business world. Either the receptionist was going to have to study names and faces better, or Tasha would find her a new position.
"Just admiring the view," I said. I winked at the receptionist and then turned to look out the large arched windows.
Oakland traffic streamed past far below, and from the top floor, I could see Jack London Square. It was a view worth admiring, but I was stalling again. It was my last chance to head back to the elevators before someone I knew spotted me. What was I doing at Tasha's office anyway?
If I was being honest, Tasha and I didn't know each other that well. Not well enough for a random drop by. I could take the 'just in the neighborhood' route, but I knew Tasha wouldn't fall for it. The last thing I wanted to do was put her on edge or make her suspicious.
It had taken me long enough to get past her suspicions the first time.
"Rainer Maxwell, good to see you," a voice boomed.
I turned around and had my hand crushed in a vice-like shake. "Otto. I didn't expect to see you here," I said.
The former Hyperion head of security clapped me on the shoulder and finally released my aching hand. "I could say the same about you."
"I'm just wondering how Tasha got Stan Eastman to set up shop in Oakland," I said.
Otto chuckled. "Oh, he put up a fight. Though I think this was his plan all along. You know he's retiring soon, right? I think all he wanted to do was encourage Ms. Nichols to find her own way."
I followed Otto across the reception lobby and through the double doors to the outer offices. "So, Tasha is the brains behind all of this."
Otto swelled with pride. "She's a great boss. Good atmosphere here. I like it. You would too."
I stopped in the hallway. "What do you mean?"
"Nothing." Otto shrugged, but his gaze was shrewd. "You and Ms. Nichols made a good team."
"You don't have to sound so shocked," I said.
Otto laughed again. "I'm serious. She wouldn't have been brave enough to salvage the GroGreen project if it hadn't been for you pushing her. And she wouldn't have gotten into community development. I've been to see that garden, you know."
I glanced away, not wanting him to see that I had just come from visiting the garden we helped plant. "So, Tasha took you away from San Francisco, huh?" I asked.
Otto snorted and led me towards the executive offices. "Mr. Eastman insisted, with a very nice raise. Plus, I live over in Richmond and love the shorter commute."
I sighed. "All you East Bay people."
"Bet you wouldn't mind ending up here yourself," Otto said. He stopped and gave me another measuring look. "Maybe there's another project Ms. Nichols could include you in."
"No, no, I'm not here looking for a job." As soon as I said it, I knew it was the wrong thing to say.
Otto's eyes gleamed with speculation. "Well, don't let me get in your way. Ms. Nichols' office is just over there."
I shook hands with the head of security again and then headed in the direction he pointed. The office was an open floor plan with a swath of cubicles running down the center. The offices on the side were almost entirely walled in with glass to let in the light. A large conference room dominated the far wall, flanked on either side by larger executive offices.
Tasha's was on the left with a dramatic backdrop of Oakland towers and roofs behind it. She had pulled back the heavy linen curtains to allow the entire office to see inside. I was certain that watching Tasha put in a full day of work motivated every single person within sight.
She was pacing back and forth while talking on her phone, and when she glanced up, I froze. Her coppery hair caught the sunlight streaming through the windows. The sleek, dove-gray business suit she wore hugged her body in the way only tailor-made clothes could. She looked every inch the powerful CEO, and I would have felt better with a folder or report or something to show her.
"Rainer?" Berger hailed me from behind a cubicle. "I thought that was you."
He wove around the cubicles and cut off my view of Tasha.
I shook his hand. He continued to block my view of Tasha's office. "So, no more jet-setting through Europe?"
"I got bored," Berger said with a shrug.
I crossed my arms over my chest. "I doubt that. Didn't you see Ellison in Paris? I heard you were both there at the same time. She didn't have one hundred and one parties for you to attend?"
Berger adjusted his tie and studied the pattern in it. "I did see Ellison, but she was busy," he said.
"I suppose her parties aren't really your kind of thing and vice versa." I tried to inch past Berger, but he was determined to chat.
"I attended as many as I could stand," Berger said. "But I don't think she noticed."
I blinked a few times in surprise. "And you couldn't catch the notice of any other woman in France?"
Berger looked relieved when a man in a plain suit interrupted us. "Mr. Berger, here is your packet from HR. Please let me know if you have any questions. And congratulations again, sir."
The man hurried away back to work and Berger gave me a funny half-smile, half-cringe. "You probably have a few questions, huh?"
I watched the man race through the cubicles. "First off, I want to know why he called you 'sir.' He must not know who you are."
Berger smacked me with his heavy packet of paperwork. "I'm getting all respectable now, and I blame you," he said.
"That can't be right. My reputation's still in the toilet."
"That's part of it," Berger said. "I was sick of having a reputation of all talk and no substance. And I wasn't lying about the getting bored part. I missed work. That's why I blame you and Tasha. She helped you make the transition into real, meaningful work and I was kinda hoping she would do the same for me."
I felt a bright flare of jealous and took a step straight towards Berger. "So, why exactly are you here?"
Berger held up both hands. "Whoa. Just for a job. Actually, I came in only expecting a recommendation, but Tasha decided to take a chance on me. Professionally only."
I eyed him closely and finally uncrossed my arms. "It's just strange you showing up at the awards dinner and now here. And now you're going to work for Tasha?"
"It's not like that. Totally the opposite, in fact. I'm trying to make myself more respectable so I can catch someone else's attention. Not Tasha's. Not like that," Berger explained.
"Tasha was the only one you talked to at the awards dinner.” I was having trouble letting go of my irritation.
Berger scrubbed the back of his neck and tried to explain himself again. "I can see how you might think I'm after Tasha. I mean, I was in a way. I crashed the awards dinner because I didn't know when else I would see her. And I wanted to gauge how she felt about me before I asked for help getting a job."
"And she was receptive?" My voice came out a growl.
"Actually, she was distracted." Berger elbowed me in the ribs. "And it wasn't easy tracking Tasha down. She is a seriously busy woman."
"How did you find out she'd be there?" I asked.
"Well, first I had to find your old, razor-sharp assistant. Topher is one cagey guy," Berger said.
The tension in my shoulders eased as the subject changed. "Are you trying to tell me that Topher let slip his boss' private schedule? I would have thought you'd have better luck swimming from here to Alcatraz."
Berger snorted. "Yeah, it wasn't easy. I think he finally took pity on me. How did you manage to finagle the information out of him?"
"I was invited to that awards dinner." I stood up straight and slipped my hands into my pockets.
"Right, because you make a habit of going to things like that," Berger said. "Just like you have a habit of dropping by old colleague’s new workplaces."
"Don't you have some paperwork to fill out?" I asked Berger.
He gave a triumphant laugh. "Oh, now I'm getting it. I'm here for a job. Why are you visiting our Ms. Nichols?"
"How are we going to know the temperature of the market if I don't check in on the Ice Queen?" I asked. It was a low joke, back to the days at Hyperion when everyone made fun of Tasha behind her back.
Berger did not respond to it with his usual bark of laughter. His smile froze into a crooked line, and suddenly he was much more interested in the nearest cubicle.
I felt my stomach sink down to the floor. During our conversation, Berger had turned me so my back was to Tasha's office. She had looked so busy and so focused as she talked on the phone that I had assumed she'd be staying at her desk. I had also banked on her less-than-thrilled expression when she saw me to buy me a few minutes to think up the perfect thing to say. Something casual but friendly. I had come to her new office to make her realize we could still get along.
Now, I was afraid she had come out of her office just to overhear me talking the same kind of nonsense all the junior executives used to torture her with.
Berger met my eyes, just barely. It was clear that Tasha was directly behind me, but there was no way out of the comment I had made.
"She's behind me, isn't she?" I asked Berger.
He nodded but said nothing.
I sighed. "She heard me sounding like a horse's ass, didn't she?"
"She did," Tasha said.
I spun around, but her expression was too hard to read.
Berger found his voice again. "We were just talking about how far you've come. We didn't make it easy on you, and Rainer was just remembering the awful jokes we used to make. Not even funny. Just bad."
He trailed off, and Topher swooped in to try to salvage the awkward situation. "Mr. Maxwell, so good to see you again. I remember when you used to tell off all your colleagues about how they joked behind Ms. Nichols’ back."
"Are we in junior high school?" Tasha asked.
I laughed, not knowing if she was making fun of us or not. "We are, but not you. I can't even imagine what you must have been like in junior high school: hefty binder full of A+ schoolwork. . ."
I trailed off to silence and stood between Berger and Topher looking sheepish.
Tasha sighed. "I'm sorry to break up this little reunion, but I have a very busy day and there is a lot I need to do before my next meeting."
Topher brightened. "I'll get you a coffee. Her niece was born late last night. Healthy baby girl—"
Tasha held up one hand and cut off her assistant. "A coffee would be nice. Berger, make sure you get those forms back to HR as soon as possible. Rainer, nice to see you again."
"Don't you mean strange?" I asked. "As in, what is he doing just showing up at my office in the middle of a busy day?"
Before Tasha could protest, I caught her by the arm and steered her back into her office. Shutting the door behind me did little to block the curious eyes all around the office, but I knew pulling the curtains would look terrible. Instead, I tried to stand casually at the same time as guarding the door. I didn't want Tasha to leave until I had a chance to talk with her.
"What do you want, Rainer?" Tasha asked. She crossed her arms and the entire office could tell she had no patience left for me at all.
"I just, I just can't stop thinking about you." The truth blurted out on a wave of panic. "And I'm wondering if you managed to get me out of your system because I could really use a few pointers on how to do the same."
Tasha's face almost cracked a rueful smile. "You came all the way here just to remind me of that? Really, Rainer, I'm starting to worry that you have nothing else going on in your life."
"Ouch," I said. "Still, I'm here confessing to you that you are all I think about. How am I supposed to stop that?"
Tasha gave her fishbowl office a glance and then moved around to sit behind her desk. I watched as she carefully folded her hands together before she looked up to answer me. "I think the best thing is to move forward. Don't you?"
"I am moving forward. Work is going great for me, by the way. I mean, I can see that you've moved on to bigger and better things, but I want you to know that your little experiment didn't work for me. I can't get you out of my system."
Tasha gave a frustrated growl at the same time her pleasant smile never faltered. "For God's sake, Rainer, you know there is more to relationships than just sex. Right?"
I caught the back of one of her visitor chairs before I fell over. "Relationship?"
She scowled. "See? Even the word makes you act all funny. That's because all we had was sex. And that's over. And since we never had and never will have a relationship, this conversation is over."
I crossed my arms and refused to leave. "So, what's the difference? What would make a relationship out of this mess?" I asked.
Tasha leaned back in her desk chair and gritted her teeth. "I'm busy here, Rainer. You came to my workplace. Figure out what relationships are on your own time."
"Relationships include lots of time together, seeing the person in different venues, and getting to know what they are like outside the office. Remember the community garden? Your neighborhood? And picnics lunches? We had some good times, Tasha." I leaned both hands on her desk and met her skeptical eyes.
"That was work."
"Fine, would you like to head over to our community garden and have a picnic lunch?" I asked.
Tasha stood up and tugged her tailored suit coat down. "Rainer, I'm working. And if you can't accept the fact that my career is more important than your impromptu idea for a picnic, then you need to leave right now."
"And what would I have to do to stay?" I asked.
She marched to her door but paused before she opened it. "Here's something you probably don't know about relationships: you have to support the other person. So, you either support my career in full and the time I need to dedicate to it, or you leave me alone."
I strolled right up to Tasha and smiled. "So, we're not just friends then?"
Tasha laughed despite herself, but then she pulled open her glass office door and ushered me out. "There's no 'we.'"
"But there could be," I said.
Even as she shut the glass door in my face, I had hope. The hint of pink on her cheeks and the way she chewed back a smile made me think my trip to her office hadn't been a total disaster.
I headed through the rows of cubicles, reviewing the entire visit in my head. Running into Otto had started things off so well. Even he thought Tasha and I made a great team. Seeing Berger had been a shock and I could easily blame him for throwing me off my game. The truth, though, was that the surge of jealousy I felt had knocked me back. When Berger talked about seeking out Tasha, I had felt every fiber in my body shouting that she should be with me.
Then Tasha had talked about relationships. Sure, it was supposed to just be a way to shut me up, but it actually gave me hope. Maybe there was something I could give Tasha.
I was so elated by that possibility that I didn't see Stan until I almost ran him over. My former boss stood his ground even though I stopped a scant four inches from him.
"Mr. Eastman, it's great to see you again," I said.
Stan looked at my offered hand and pursed his lips. "A word, Rainer?"
"In your office?" I hesitated because I didn't want to push my luck with Tasha.
He looked up and down the glass-walled offices and shook his head. "In here is fine."
I followed Stan towards the elevator lobby. It turned out the only room in Tasha's bright office that didn't have glass walls was the copy room. Stan shut the door firmly behind us.
"Whoa, wait. I respect you a lot, Stan, I really do, but I'm not in the market for one of your mentoring lectures right now," I said.
Stan surprised me with a laugh. "I'm not going to lecture you, Rainer. In fact, I was going to congratulate you on your persistence."
I shook his hand but had no idea what he was talking about. "My persistence? I'm not looking for a job. Is that why you think I'm here?"
"No, son, that's not why I think you're here. Do you even know why you're here?" Stan asked.
"Networking?"
Stan chuckled again. "You know, you remind me an awful lot of me at your age. Incorrigible. Loud-mouthed. Charming. Clueless about everything but how to spin business in your favor."
"I am not loud-mouthed," I said. Then I remembered how Tasha overheard me and I cringed. "All right. So, we're a lot alike. How is this not turning into a mentoring lecture?"
"Think of it more like a rescue mission," Stan said. "I saw your conversation with Tasha. The whole office did."
I crossed my arms. "I don't need rescuing. Or are you talking about rescuing Tasha from me? Am I really so terrible?"
"Ellison Ramsey didn't seem to think so," Stan said.
"I was not ever, nor will I be, engaged to Ellison Ramsey," I said loudly. "In fact, I haven't dated or been out with anyone since—"
Stan raised his eyebrows. "Since?"
"Since working at Hyperion," I finished.
"Son, everyone at Hyperion, and now everyone here, can tell that you can't and won't leave Tasha alone." Stan gave me a comforting chuck on the shoulder. "Now, what I really want to know is what you're going to do about that?"
I frowned at the older man, annoyed that he saw right through me and was amused by what he saw. "So, you want to give me relationship advice?"
"God, no," Stan said. "I've been divorced more times than you've even seen Tasha. All I'm trying to do is to tell you not to give up."
"Tasha all but told me to give up," I said.
Stan sighed. "Of course she did. Tasha's got a lot of territory to defend. Her career means a lot to her and anyone wanting a relationship is really going to have to come to terms with that. And, she's been hurt before, so for her relationships are high risk. You got to make it worth her while."
"I can't bribe someone into falling in love with me." The word 'love' seemed to fill the small copy room.
"Tell you what." Stan rummaged in his suit coat pocket. "The first thing you can do is admit just how much you love Tasha."
"And what's the second thing?" I asked.
Stan handed me a black envelope with silver piping. "You can come to my retirement party. A very exclusive get-together if I do say so myself."
"So, you really are retiring and letting Tasha take over?" I whistled a low note of appreciation. "That's huge. And that's going to be one hell of a party."
"Good," Stan said. "It's settled. You'll come to my retirement party, have the time of your life, and when the time is right, you'll tell Tasha exactly how you feel."
I leaned against the copier to keep from falling to the floor. "I'm going to do what now?"
"You have to show Tasha that you are all in. Make a big scene, let everyone know."
I crossed my arms over my chest. "And what if she hates the public scene? What if she hates me?"
"You're never going to know unless you do it," Stan said.
"You make it sound so easy." I opened the door to the copy room and glanced around cautiously. The last thing I needed was for Tasha to see me sneaking meetings with her mentor. "I'll come to your party, but I'm not making any promises."
"Seriously, Rainer, you should listen to an old man. Besides," Stan followed me out into the elevator lobby, "my lavish retirement party will be a much better backdrop than some restaurant. I think it might actually inspire you."
He clapped me on the back and walked away before I could ask him what exactly he thought I would need the perfect backdrop for.