Chapter Twenty-Two
Abby
This was my fourth summer at the Four Seasons. I loved my job and the position it put me in to meet new people every day. Never in my four years had I thought that my job was boring. It wasn't. It wasn't even that now. There was always someone new or something new happening. It was not boring. It was just normal now.
The weeks I had gotten to spend close to Nate were behind me now, and if I tried, I could pretend that nothing had happened. It helped that I hadn't seen him and he hadn't called the front desk. He must have locked himself up in his suite again. If that was what he had done, then, oh well, that was what he wanted to do with his time.
It was callous to say he wasn't my problem anymore, but I realized around four days in when I had still been feeling like shit, with Makani's help, that there was a difference between mourning and moping.
It had been about two weeks now and I was feeling better. I’d let myself feel deeply for Nate in the short time that we had been in contact, but that was over now. Other things had begun and other things were going to keep happening.
Simply put, I had to move on. I had stuck my neck out for Nate and put my heart out there. This was something that he didn't want and even though that rejection had hurt, all it signaled was the end – it didn't erase everything that had happened. The summer wasn't over yet. It was fine if he wasn't part of it because there were so many other people who were going to be.
I wasn't so distraught that I couldn't work anymore. I'd been spending most of my time back at the desk with Makani, but today I was outside, on tour duty again, and this was a little different.
Rayleigh and Hank had just gotten married and were here for their honeymoon. In the time it had taken me to show them around the resort, barring the golf course, they had managed to give me an entire rundown of their gorgeous wedding and how it almost hadn't happen. They had meant to have the wedding and the honeymoon at the Four Seasons, but a mistake booking had meant they thought they were getting married in Hawai’i before they had called to confirm their booking.
They were a young couple from Texas; they hadn't had to tell me because I could hear their accents. I didn't think I sounded very Texan since moving to Lanai, but when I would hear people who were, I heard my accent slip out a little when I spoke to them.
I loved the weddings we had on the island, but honeymoons were the next best thing. It was nice to think you were part of this experience the couple would remember forever. Rayleigh and Hank were following me back up to the resort from the beach, which they had asked me to show them: the end of their tour.
They had fallen slightly behind me, holding hands and whispering to each other.
"Abby?" Hank called. I stopped walking and let them catch up.
"Yeah?"
"Hey, you might get this a lot, but I mentioned it to Ray and she said she sees it, too. Have you ever been on television? You're awfully familiar." I felt ice run up my spine, but cleared my throat, giving them my practiced, professional smile.
"Maybe someone should put me on television. You wouldn't believe the number of people who have asked me," I said jokingly. He laughed, making me relax.
"We were just convinced we had to have seen you somewhere."
"If I was on television, someone still owes me a check," I said lightly. His wife caught up and I sent them on their way, returning to the lobby and getting behind the desk.
That could have gone horribly left, I thought. I hadn't had to lie to a guest like that in a while now. It wasn't something I liked having to talk about, but like my neck, I had to. I guess I always ran the risk of being recognized by someone who might have heard about my father on the mainland and was here on vacation, but I had time and a new name on my side. Most of the time.
I got back to work, sitting down next to Makani. She told me she was going to the bathroom and left, heading to the rear, near our changing room. I looked at my computer for a while before glancing up. A tall man with dark hair caught my eye, and I admonished myself for thinking it was Nate. I looked twice and froze.
It was Nate. I wasn't imagining anything. Fuck. I was alone behind the desk; I had to talk to him.
My heart started pounding, and my throat dried out. We hadn't talked since he had told me in as many words that he was done with me. Seeing him walking towards me, I felt the resentment I had tried to bury beneath my work and being busy rearing up.
I looked down and steeled myself for the conversation as he approached. This was still my job. I'd tell him what he wanted to know and he could leave. What was so important that he had left his room to say it instead of calling, though? I thought despite myself.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Stone," I said stiffly, giving him a detached smile. "How can I help you?"
"Please stop calling me that," he said, smiling. His complexion was alive and bright. He looked rested and peaceful – he looked great. He was a handsome guy anyway, but he looked healthy like he had managed to stay off the drugs.
I had to stop myself from asking because as it stood between us now, I wasn't his friend…or anything else for that matter. I was asking him as an employee of the Four Seasons how I could make his stay more comfortable.
"Is there something I can help you with?" I asked again.
"Actually, yeah," he said suggestively, raking his eyes over my face and body in a way that made me start to sweat. "I want to see you tonight."
"I'm sorry, the resort forbids personal relationships between the staff and guests," I said dismissively.
"Do I have to find your manager and get him to make you come out with me?"
"Is that what you would resort to in order to get me to see you when I clearly don't want to?"
"Come on, Abby. Stop acting like we just met."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm doing my job, Mr. Stone."
"I want to apologize for the past couple weeks. I shouldn't have said what I said to you. I want to talk." I allowed myself to look in his eyes.
"No.”
"Abby," he pleaded.
"I can't give you that if that is all you're looking for. I'm working. You know the limits to what I can and can't give you within those boundaries."
"I know I fucked up. Let me fix this," he said. I shook my head.
"How could you come back to me asking for that after telling me to leave you alone?"
"I made a mistake."
"‘I don't need you anymore,’" I said quietly. "Those were the words you said to me. You made your mind up, and after that, I made my mind up, too. If there is nothing I can help you with, please leave."
"You don't mean that," he said.
"I mean it as much as you did. I didn't hound you after you told me to leave you alone. All I want is the same respect," I said looking back down at my computer. He was silent for a moment, but he didn't move.
"I'm sorry if what I said to you made you hate me. Don't shut me out when I'm trying to apologize to you." I shook my head again.
"You shouldn't have come here to talk to me knowing I wouldn't be able to stop you. Please leave. This is the last time I'm asking," I said.
I kept my eyes down because I didn't want to cry in front of him. I heard him hesitate before finally leaving. I sighed. It was ragged and long; I had been holding my breath. Goddammit, Nate, I thought, touching the corners of my eyes to catch the tears before they started falling.
"Abby?"
I jumped at hearing Makani come back behind the desk.
"Are you okay? I heard what you said to him."
"I'm fine," I said.
"Hey, if you need a little time, it's okay," she said.
I shook my head, sniffing. I didn't want to go to the bathroom and cry like he and I had broken up. That wasn't what it was. We hadn't been together in the first place, so there was no good reason for me to feel like I had lost him. He was never mine in the first place.
It just sucked. Why did he have to choose today to come and see me? I was finally feeling normal. He was finally starting to matter less and now, I had to start again from scratch.
And then what he said? He wanted to see me again? How dare he. How dare he act like he hadn't told me to fuck off. No. No way. I couldn't do it. There was a good reason I didn't put myself in this position with anybody and this was it.
"I'll be fine," I said hollowly to Makani. Still, I felt her watching me the whole day. She didn't believe me. I didn't either.