Chapter 3
Elene
She doesn't look happy to see me. Miss Barry gestures toward the chair with a dismissive wave, her every motion emitting her obvious impatience.
She looks immaculate as always. The black pantsuit hugs her figure tightly, emphasizing her feminine curves, and her hair is styled in a tight bun, leaving not a single strand out of place. I admire her chic, professional look every time I see her. Everything is so perfect, so pristine and flawless. Even her makeup looks as if it were freshly applied, even though it's almost noon and I know she had an early start to her day today. She told me when I called that she'd be at the agency all day starting at nine o’clock, which seemed unusually early. The majority of this business is conducted in the evening, after all; no one, not even the madam, has a reason to be at work this early in the morning. I'm curious what—or who—is responsible for today's early start.
Regardless of how much effort I put into my appearance, I always feel inferior next to Miss Barry. I'm wearing one of my Valentino ensembles, a navy skirt with a matching blazer that features a playful ribbon at the waist. The dark color stands in stark contrast to my long pastel-colored hair that I've swept up in a loose bun, sitting low on my neck. The basic white blouse under the blazer is far less upscale, because unlike the skirt and blazer, it was not a present from one of my clients.
"I don't have much time," she informs me as I sit down opposite her, her massive office desk separating us.
I cross my legs at the ankles in an attempt to curb my fidgeting. I pay special attention to my posture, sitting unnaturally straight to convey a confidence that typically escapes me when I'm in Miss Barry’s presence. My confidence is especially taking a beating today because I come with bad news, and she looks stressed out already.
I shouldn't have pushed for an as-soon-as-possible appointment. It's never a good idea to push the madam. I should know that.
But now that I'm here, sitting across from her with nowhere to go, I need to go through with it.
"I'll get straight to the point then," I begin, taking a deep breath to prepare myself. Short and fast, like ripping off a bandage. "I'm handing in my resignation."
I didn't even notice that I had closed my eyes until I hear her gasp. My eyelids open instinctually, and my stomach turns when I see her shocked expression. Miss Barry has never looked at me like this, a combination of perplexed and outraged at the same time, as if I've just done a very, very bad thing.
"You want to quit?" she exclaims. "But, Elene, honey, what could possibly make you want to do that?"
I swallow hard, unable to come up with an explanation fast enough.
"Does it have to do with one of our clients?" Miss Barry prods. "Did someone mistreat you? Did something happen? Because you know we can—"
"No, no, it's nothing like that," I hurry to assure her, raising my hands and opening my palms in an appeasing manner. "It's just that... I feel I need to be doing something else," I stutter.
Why did I come here without any preparation? I should have invented some kind of excuse, some well-spoken words that wouldn't make me look like an idiot. "I'm done. I can't do it anymore."
Miss Barry looks at me, unable to hide the regret on her face.
"You have been with us for..."
"Four years," I finish her sentence. "And I'm very grateful for the opportunity, Miss Barry. I really am. But I think it's time for me to do something else."
"Like what? You know, if you want to go to college or something, this would be the perfect job for funding that. You could cut down on the number of clients and still make enough to—"
"I know," I say, biting my lip as I interrupt her again. She is right, and it's not like I haven't considered that option. I started this job when I was only eighteen years old, and when I first started, I thought it would be a great way to pay my way through college. That and nothing else. I even took a few classes, but soon realized that none of them held my interest for longer than a few weeks. I've never been the scholarly type, never did well in school, and my options for college were limited. It didn't come as a surprise that it didn't come as easy to me as it did for others. It felt more like something I should do, not something I wanted to do.
"I don't think college is the right direction for me," I say, nervously fiddling with my fingers. "I just... I don't know. But I think I need to try something else."
I lower my gaze, but I can feel Miss Barry's eyes on me, holding me down, paralyzing me, while painful silence builds between us. Is she waiting for me to speak? What could I possibly tell her if I don't even know myself? All I know is that this job was okay for a while, but it no longer is. I need something else, another job. That's all I know, all I want.
Miss Barry lets out an exasperated sigh.
"I'll be frank with you, Elene," she says. "I'm not happy about this. You're one of our most popular girls, and we love having you here. I don't like the idea of losing you. And you know it's not only your looks that make you an asset to this agency. You're smart, and a great conversationalist—your clients often mention on their evaluations that they genuinely enjoy spending time with you, above and beyond the play part."
I swallow hard, unsure how to respond. Is she trying to lure me back with this praise?
Miss Barry leans forward, placing her elbows on the desk while fixing her eyes on me. Her gaze is intense and piercing. It's making me feel uncomfortable, but I manage not to blink or look away.
"Be honest with me, honey," she says in a low voice. "What is it that suddenly bothers you about this job? Is it the sex part?"
I bite my lower lip.
"You can tell me," she encourages. "There's no room for secrets here."
I take another deep breath. "Quite frankly, yes, it is. It didn't... bother me, at first, but I no longer feel comfortable doing this."
She nods. "So, it didn't bother you? Before? What changed?"
Our eyes meet, and she tilts her head to the side in a questioning manner. I just respond with a puzzled expression.
"Well, maybe I'm being naive, but I like to think that our girls actually enjoy their jobs," Miss Barry says. "And that they aren't just 'not bothered' by it."
"Oh, I..."
Damn it. How do I get out of this one?
A smile curves up at the corner of Miss Barry's lips. "It's all right, honey, don't worry about it. You don't have to tell me what I want to hear. I value your honesty. Besides, you always did a very good job. I've heard nothing but the utmost praise for you, which is why I'm so surprised to hear that you didn't actually enjoy it. People usually don't become this good at something they don't enjoy."
I feel myself blushing. It's not the first time that I’ve heard this. Most of my clients have been more than charming, showering me with compliments and gifts, and almost all of them wanted to see me again after the first time.
It always surprised me. How could they feel something I didn't feel? Why was this so much more to them than it was to me? Maybe it was just in the nature of things. After all, they were the ones paying for me, and not the other way around. But what if there is more to it than that?
"So, if I understand correctly, you are resigning, yet you haven't come up with a plan as to what you're going to do next. Is that correct?" Miss Barry states, interrupting my quiet musings.
I nod reluctantly. "Yes… you could say that."
Her eyes rest on me for a few moments, her deep red lips twitching as she ponders her next words. I feel terribly uncomfortable and wish for nothing more than for this conversation to be over. I expected it to be unpleasant, but I also hoped it would be quick and over with by now. Miss Barry must have girls quit all the time; I don't understand why she seems so upset about me leaving.
"I may have a proposition for you," she says, watching my reaction.
"A proposition?"
"A way for you to continue working for me without having to do anything that you no longer feel comfortable with," she elaborates.
"Do you mean an office job? Here? Like in accounting or something?"
She smiles, shaking her head. "No, we're all set on that front," she says. "But we're looking to expand our business and create something new, something very special and unique."
She pauses, further observing my reaction as I await what she’ll say next, my eyes wide with curiosity.
"I haven't told any of the girls about it so far, because it's not official yet," she continues, casting me a conspiratorial look. "Would you like to hear more about it?"
Our eyes meet in a silent stare-off for a few moments, before I respond with a voiceless nod.