Ashley

Two full weeks had passed by in the blink of an eye, I didn’t understand how the time had passed this quickly, or where it had gone. It was nice to just sit back in bed and relax, for the first time in a very long time I had the pleasantry of relaxing, of deciding what I wanted to do every day. I was no longer told what to do, scared into doing what Harry willed me to do – for once, it was my choice.

I found myself sitting back on my bed and watching the sunset through my window. It was different to be home now, after these years. I missed the skies, the way that the auburn would slowly rinse from the clouds in a soft lavender mirage.

I’d stuck to myself mostly, relaxing, allowing my body to rest and recuperate from my trauma. My only visitors were usually Dad or Blackjack. Dad usually took up the two weeks’ time to catch up on the four years we’ve been without each other. He’d mention some of the local updates that were going on in the community––including the jackass Roach that just so happened to have given me a tough time at the gate.

He admitted the story of how he and I were first introduced made him laugh when Cracker told him. Apparently, Roach received his fourth reprimand since he took up the position of being prospect. Truth be told I wasn’t shocked. I wouldn’t have let him get up to four fuck ups, but my Dad is a good man, he gives second, third and fourth chances.

In the last week I’ve learned that the Reapers are doing well, very well in fact. Dad worked more and more to give us a better distribution channel. Right before I left he’d just made the decision to get back into the drug trade after being out of it for so many years. As soon as he’d announced his return, the flock of his supporters came running – it turns out that they never stopped supporting him. There was only one problem, some of the shipments were running short. He wouldn’t go into detail, even though I pushed and pushed him for answers.

“It’s just business, baby.” He told me last week, “Nothing we can’t handle.”

Or so he says.

Even as a kid I could always tell when he was lying. He was always a terrible liar with me. It came with having to raise me by himself when my mom passed away. His troubles became my troubles. His worries were my inheritance. His voice was my mouthpiece and so the both of us were always there for each other. Before I left home, I took it upon myself to play a governing role in the club to help level the burden on my father. I hadn’t thought at the time that I’d be moving out to what I thought was a “happy marriage” and my self-deemed freedom, but when I left, someone else took over for me naturally. To this day I’m not quite sure who exactly that was.

I saw Blackjack swing by the room more often than I’d anticipated. He truly was the gentleman rogue that roamed these parts of Montana. Even I had to admit that watching him dress up my wounds was like a daily dosage of eye candy.

Whenever he caught me staring, I’d end up shooting my gaze somewhere else––the window, my wardrobe, my lap, anything! Usually five minutes after that, he’d start a conversation with me that wasn’t on the topic of how many pain killers I’ve had or whether my wounds were feeling itchy. He asked me what I did for fun when I moved out of my house which surprised me. After everything, I least expected him to want to know what happened after I left.

After I left him.

“Fun? I didn’t really have fun, Rob” I admitted to him on Thursday, “It was pretty uneventful. Having to stay at home all day long––alone.”

“You didn’t have friends over?” He asked me with a puzzled look.

“Harry didn’t want company most week days.”

“Jesus, Ashley.”

“What?”

“You really married yourself a sociopath.”

At the time he caught himself saying that and ended up apologizing a boatload for being insensitive. I, on the other hand, thought the little slip was hilarious. That day, I laughed so hard I could’ve sworn my lungs were going to collapse.

We kept up our conversations since then and it was refreshing to get to know him every time I snuck in questions. More so, he made me feel a little bit normal again and that, I really fucking needed that.

Blackjack had treated me with so much care, making sure that my body was growing stronger by the second. It was comforting to know that he was looking out for me… something I hadn’t experienced in a while since I’d left Montana.

When I woke up today, I finally walked myself up to the vanity mirror across my bed. My reflection stared back at me as I took a step closer to the figure before me. Hands came up to my face, the pads of my fingers pressing up to my cheekbones as I checked the swelling. Everything had gone down––from my cheek to my eye.

There was even a healthy tinted glow coming from the smoothness in my skin. Dad and Blackjack were both making sure I was eating normally again, I’d smelled freshly baked apple pie for the first time in ages – brought up with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s French Vanilla just the way Rob and I used to eat it years ago.

I ended up smiling at the sight of me, so happy that I looked normal again. As I scooped up my blonde strands, I realized that even my hair was starting to regain its natural volume. When I let the soft strands leave my fingers, they fell across my shoulders in beach waves. I knew that being home was making me healthier, or maybe it was something else, either way, whatever it was, I put it in the corner of my mind while I got ready for the party going down tonight.

My dresser was still stocked with clothes that I had left behind when I left with Harry on my wedding day. As I opened the drawers, a faint smile came across my face at my old shirts.

God, I’ve missed this crazy place.

I pulled out a spare denim three-forth sleeved top and put it over top my black cami. The tight denim hugged up against my shoulders, perfectly snug. When I looked at myself in the mirror, my surprised expression stared back. The top looked pretty damn good on me despite it being one of the many slutty items I wore in high school, but it’ll do for tonight.

I took the end of my sweat pants and shrugged them down my hips till they dropped to my ankles. With a scoop of my toe, I pulled them up to my legs and folded them back into the drawer before replacing them with a set of faded jean shorts. I rotated the shorts in my hands skeptically, the waistband looking awfully convincing that it’d fit.

I might as well try them out anyway.

Two legs pulled through the denim holes and I tugged them up to my hips, getting ready to suck in my stomach. Only, I didn’t have to.

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked down to see that there was some space left in the shorts where my stomach had been. I thought for sure I would’ve gained weight over the two years away, stress and all with Harry. Instead, I lost a chunk of me from the trauma I’ve had to endure. I released the shorts and opened another shelf where my accessories were pooled into one box. A slip on boho belt was just what I needed. I lassoed it across my denim shorts and pulled it to the third slot.

With a little twirl in the mirror, I smiled and smoothen my hands down the front of my denim top. I was ready to go. The door was shut behind me as I made my way to the house entrance. My old cowgirl boots were waiting for me by Grandma’s ancient coatrack. I slipped the bad girls on and made my way down the worn-out path leading up to the clubhouse. I could cut through the field and take the shortcut, but I’d be damned if I stepped on another snake again. I’ve learned that the hard way one too many times.

On my way there, I took in a deep breath of the fresh night air. As I looked up, I could see the moon take up my sky in its transcendent glow. Its light starts to dwindle away as the torch lights coming from the clubhouse resonated with heat against my cheek and I looked ahead to see the party in its full swing. Everyone from my childhood was here. The clubhouse was emitting loud, old fashioned country music straight from the open windows. There was a good majority of people inside while I saw a few stragglers standing around. I knew exactly what they were doing standing around too, waiting for some peace and quiet, waiting to slip away from everyone. I can remember a few times where I’d slipped away to meet someone in particular.

The wind picked back up at my hair and more than ever. Nights like this reminded me of my life with Harry, when I thought long and hard I realized that I was put in a position where I was careless and vulnerable to a man who didn’t have a fragment of authentic love in him.

He drained me of my energy, abused me of my strength, and what’s worse––he made me feel like I was the antagonist for wanting more. The thought made my hands clench together in balled fists as I walked up the steps to the porch without a degree of care for the men that followed me with their eyes. When I released my hand to take the door knob, there were aching crescents dug into the pit of my palm. I turned the knob and let myself in, the breeze leaving my shoulders as the AC kicked in.

“Wellllll, I’ll be!” A voice came hollering close to where I stood.

I blinked, unsure of who the voice belonged to. Before I could turn my head to see him coming, he had his hand on my wrist and took me into a twirl.

“Ah!” I yelped at the sudden tug.

My feet danced upon the wooden floor, spinning until I hit his chest with a thud. His arms squeezed me into a hug and before I could look up, his mouth was on me!

It was a sinking kiss that triggered my hand like a flash. Pull, push, and slap. I caught his cheek on my palm and it clapped back like whiplash. He released me in an instant, stunned at the contact. When I looked up at him, his face seemed so surprised that at first, I couldn’t even recognize him. That is until his stupid mouth started laughing and sent the whole room laughing with him.

“What a hit, Wonder Woman.”

“Kade?” I breathe heavily, still in shock as I wipe the saliva from the corner of my mouth.

Kade “Shotgun” Nichols––son of Michael Nichols, the acclaimed “Grenade” himself, who also happens to be my not so adoptive brother and first crush. He stood there rubbing his cheek at the reddening hand print.

“My gosh,” I shook my head, astonished. “Do I even want to know where those lips have been?”

“Is that a trick question?” Another man’s laugh was heard at the corner of the room.

I turned my gaze in its direction only to meet eyes with none other than Zane, Kade’s older brother by only three minutes, also my other not so adoptive brother.

“Zane!” I laugh, running up to him with open arms.

He caught me just as I jumped him, twirling me around like it was high school all over again.

“Ashley, Ashley––where have you beeeeen!” The man exaggerates before settling me back on the floor.

“Oh, man…” I flip my blonde hair out of my face and chuckle, “Where do I start?”

How strange it all felt to have seen the two of them after being away for so long.

As we sat by the fireplace next to the bar, I told my brothers the entire story. Sure enough, they had heard it before from Dad which saved a whole lot of swearing. Kade kept shaking his head in disbelief the entire time.

For crying out loud, he shared drinks with Harry the night of my wedding. Had he known it would’ve turned out like this, he would’ve “smashed the motherfucker’s face in” without a second thought. Zane, on the other hand, was a tad more sober about the subject. He expressed his suspicion from the very beginning, telling me that Grizzly showing up at my wedding should’ve been a dead ringer for trouble. Looking back now, that was a sure as hell sign Harry was working with him.

After being gone for the last four years I asked these two knuckleheads what they were finally up to. Zane apparently took on his role as a full patch member at the age of twenty-six; the guy had been earning his marks since he’d started following his own father’s footsteps. This was hardly a surprise, of course. Shortly after Kade followed suit, they were born and bred for this life, even if they didn’t know it.

As I swirled my second tequila sunrise in hand, I noticed that my drink was practically empty of its contents. Nothing but a couple cubes of ice sitting in that fruity alcohol bath. When I had gone up to get a drink from the bar half an hour ago, there was a club whore bartending the booth with polish rag in hand. Now, the booth was empty except for the lone figure of Blackjack sitting at his preferred corner spot.

I hadn’t seen the man slip by, he’d been damn good at evading attention through the years.

Upon my observation, Zane noticed my stare with a little scoff.

“You know, the guy’s been watching you since he sat down…”

I gave him a skeptical look, “Oh, come on.”

“It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out, Ash.” Kade pointed out with a gesture of his bourbon. “Rob hasn’t seen you in so long, you might as well be water in a desert.”

“You’re that tall glass of water that he’s been begging to drown in.” Zane adds with a wink.

“Shut it, Fred and George!” I hiss at them with a lunge.

“Watch it, Ginny!” Kade jumps as I almost spill my drink on him.

I laugh and pull back into my seat, crossing my legs over to themselves.

That was always the joke between the Nichol twins. They were so damn clever and provocative with their jokes, they might as well have been the Weasley twins from J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series. Of course, they always looked up to me as a little sister in high school given that they had my back whenever any jock tried to get their mitts on me.

Now they were making fun of the oldest joke in the book: my little crush having been Blackjack at the time.

I stole Zane’s shot of tequila in hand and drank it down before he could so much as protest. The contents spilled into my throat with a fire that flared my senses up. I slammed the butt of the glass back to the table with a slow sigh, my eyes searching their way back up to the bar until at last, they locked with Blackjack’s deep brown irises.

Electricity ran across my spine as I could feel my body tingle with the thrill in our short glance. I bounced my eyes off him to distract myself with something else, but deep down, I felt like he was still staring. Waiting for the connection to reappear again. It could’ve been the tequila shot. Hell, maybe I drank three tequila sunrises and didn't notice. I didn’t know how to explain it, but my body felt warm all over with just the idea that his eyes couldn’t leave me at that moment. That look he gave me just had me what was going on in that mind of his.

“Do you still gamble, boys?” I finally ask, twirling the shot glass between my fingers.

Both Kade and Zane bust out into laughter.

“Do we ever.” Kade nudges his brother’s side.

Zane smirks knowingly, “If we took our game to Vegas, we’d be wanted men.”

“What game?” I snort, unconvinced.

“Oh?” Zane raises a brow, “I think Ms. Monroe is calling a bluff.”

“I do believe you’re right, Mr. Nichols.” Kade stands from his seat, dusting his jeans off.

I throw my head back and laugh.

“Unbelievable!”

“You brought this on yourself, Sis.”

Zane joins his brother to a stand, offering his hand to me.

“I say one thing and you’re already trying to start something!” I retort but take his hand, nevertheless.

“Don’t know what you’re fronting about, Ma’am.” Kade shakes his head.

“Ooooh, you guys!”

With jabs and pokes, they lead me all the way up to the old parlor table by the center of the hall. It had been there for years and heaven knows that it wouldn’t be leaving the club house anytime soon. As I sat down and got comfortable, I could still see Blackjack sitting at his spot by the bar while Zane began shuffling the cards. His back was facing me which meant I could observe him all I wanted––but if anything, it was just an invitation for me to call him up to join us. Before I had a chance to say anything, the cards were already dealt, and the twins were more than eager to start placing bets on the table.

We played with pennies instead of chips since the club house ran out of chips the second people started losing them. Stacks of these pennies were lined up in tinfoil while Zane dealt us our main starting cards. He even allowed us to see the first card before we had a chance to flip it.

“That kind of confidence is going to cost you the game.” I point out.

Zane scoffs, “Everyone knows the house always wins.”

Kade had just put his card back down after peeking a look.

“Hit me.” He nods.

Zane put his card down, face up. It was a five of clubs.

“Hit me.” Kade repeats, rubbing his hands together with anticipation.

His brother brings down a following card and it made Kade scowl the instant it hit the table.

The Queen of Hearts winked up at him and chances were likely that she cost him the round.

“Bust?” Zane asks.

Kade was pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Bust.” He admits finally.

Zane turned his attention back to me as it was my turn and I was eager to get started. The folded the card in hand before flipping it up to my attention. Queen of Diamonds. Before he had a chance to flip up a second card, I held my hand down on my draws.

“Hold for me.” I smile.

He cocks a brow, “Already?”

“Absolutely.” I nod.

His shoulders gave up an effortless shrug and he returns back to his card. One draw and he was already biting into a confident smirk. I watched him carefully while he started the following draw. It was then that his smile disappeared, and he was left with disappointment.

I pursed my lips and made a quick ‘pop’.

“Shut it.” He quips.

“Busted…” I whisper lowly.

“Hey!” Zane’s hand shot down to my side to give me a jab.

I sidestepped swiftly with a giggle just as Kade flipped my cards, revealing my win.

Both groaned in unison when they saw that I ended up with a solid ten of hearts complimenting my Queen of Diamonds. I smirk with pride and place my hands on my hips while they grumble to themselves. Their clubs and spades were no match for what I had.

The three of us kept playing at the ongoing pace. On my side, I was carrying a good fourteen wins while Zane collected eight. Kade was having the worst luck out of everyone given that he could only keep up with four wins. Eventually, he tagged himself out saying that I was throwing off his mojo (sore loser).

He opted out just in time for The Hound to take his place, sporting his best game face. Four games later and I had won two consecutive rounds. Hound ended up with one win while Zane shared the other.

Kade ended up coming back with Booger and we split the cards into fives. Ironically enough, I ended up having to split the win with him after we ended up with the highest out of twenty. When Booger refused to share the win, we ended up fighting for it through a thumb war. Everyone laughed at the outcome. His grubby finger was struggling to pin my thumb and when my finger slipped from his grip, I ended up stabbing his hand with the tip of my nail. He let out a shout and pulled his hand back, claiming I had razor blades for nails. He finally let up and allowed me the win with a shaggy laugh.

Tank switched with him when he told everyone he’d be back after a pint. As Zane kept shuffling the deck, I watched the man walk his way up to the bar to join Blackjack. Booger had his hand pat down Blackjack’s shoulder as they talked to themselves, words that I couldn’t hear in the spirit of the parlor table. I had to avert my attention back to the table when Zane dealt the cards back out, handing me my draw.

I check my card and prop it back down, my confidence unswayed.

“Hit me.”

He does. The card goes down and it’s the four of Clubs. My bottom card was a ten of diamonds. Out of anyone in this table, I think I was the lowest sum…

“Hit me again.” I request.

Another card went down. Ace. Shit.

“Popped?”

My brows knit together in that moment. That voice…

I looked up and there he was. Blackjack was standing before the table with his arms crossed and a faint smile spreading across his features. My heart clenched at that damn smile.

Boog’ just so happened to be standing behind him, hand on his shoulder.

“Ashley, it’s no fun if you’re losing before my man joins the game.” He teases.

I snorted at the two of them.

“Hit me, Zane.”

Zane gave me a dubious look.

“Ash…”

“I said hit me, damn it.”

He draws the card slowly. My stare was kept on his hands as he flips the fold and starts to bring it down. One of the brothers start a little hooting chant, bringing the intensity up between us. They drummed at the table and the anticipation was building. Out of the corner of my eye, I could’ve sworn that Zane was sweating. His hand lays the card flat and the moment sinks in.

I break into a smile.

Someone groans, “How the fuck did she–”

“That’s just not fair…”

Tank starts shaking his head to himself. Every other brother beside him could barely believe his eyes. The line of Zane’s lips thin but even he couldn’t help but smile at the oddity of it. Four of clubs, ten of diamonds, an ace of hearts, and––the five of spades.

I bested my luck at a top of twenty while everyone else busted. Not even Zane’s safety net of 19 could save him in this round. Whatever luck I was running on, my adrenaline was pumping for more. This was a hard streak and I was enjoying every second of it. Not even Harry could beat me at cards when we first started dating. After he realized I had the better poker face, he refused to gamble against me.

Still––my glory didn’t last too long.

“Start shuffling, Zane.” Blackjack’s voice let up.

I looked over to him as the seat screeches below his feet before he sat amongst us. His arms cross atop the build of his chest, unfazed by whatever just happened on the table. I should’ve known he’d be joining us in no time. Blackjack out of any man here was the signature poster boy for this game. Dedicated to his title, he was the ace to any deck of men. He could gamble any honest man out of his wits and still walk out the door, shameless.

Not even my daddy could beat this guy’s poker face.

“Thatta’ boy, Rob.” Tank claps his hand on the man’s shoulders, giving him a little shake.

Blackjack laughs, “Don’t root for me yet. Monroe’s got a streak here.”

“Lady Luck is smiling down on her, for sure.” Kade agrees, “But we all know she’s a sucker for muscles…”

Kade and Zane both gave me a little wink and I scowl at them.

“Are we talking or playing, Blackjack?” I lean into my seat, offering him a coy smile. Rob only gives me a look and my breath hitches itself at the back of my throat.

Mmmm, that smile…

“I’m not going easy on you, Monroe.” He warns, the smirk on his face intensifying.

I raise a brow, “It wouldn’t be fun winning if you did, baby.”

“Ohhhhhhh!” The men holler at once, smacking their hands at his back.

“Easy, guys!” Blackjack assures them with a wave of his hand. “This dog isn’t down yet…”

“One on one?” Zane offers us.

Blackjack nods, “One on one.”

“Hold up.” I lift my head up from the table. “I want to make a bet.”

The men stilled for a second. Betting wasn’t anything new in the clubhouse, especially when most of the guys stupid enough to accept heavy bets ended up walking out the place naked. All bets had to be clarified before mutual parties accepted their risks. Whether it was Poker, Blackjack, War, or Grandma’s Solitaire––you were in for trouble if you didn’t perform your side of the deal.

What kind of bet?” Blackjack asks. Amusement was hidden in his eyes.

“Oh, Blackjack…” I shake my head before placing my hand to my chin thoughtfully.

“Ashley..” He half-smirks.

God, I was gonna regret this if things go wrong––but drunk me was melting for this guy’s cocky smile!

If I win…” I start off slowly, “You have to do something for me.”

“Something?” He repeats.

“Anything.” I challenge.

His brothers whistle behind him, already shouting to the roof with cat calls. Blackjack, on the other hand, didn’t even flinch; then again, it was expected of a guy who’d been branded as the Prince of Cards with his title.

He stares into my eyes intensely and I felt like he was swimming in my thoughts, already figuring out what little old me’ wanted. I didn’t let him make my body falter with his low-let gaze. Instead, I played with a piece of my blonde hair and twirled it between my fingers. The man took it as an expression that I was playing with him and slowly, he leans back into his seat.

“Fine. You’ve got a deal babe” 

Another wave of voices washed over the two of us and we sat in our place, rinsed in the dim light. Zane finally stopped shuffling his cards and started dealing them to the two of us. While I folded up my card slightly, I could see the smile of a man underneath its eyelet. I return my hand back to my side in time for me to catch Blackjack talking to Boog’ beside him. The two men chuckle to one another at something until Blackjack catches my stare and sits back up.

“Whenever you’re ready, Ash.” He asserts with the same confident smile.

I return that smile by the tenfold and look up to Zane beside us.

“Hit me.”

Zane put the card down flat––Ace of Spades.

Zane looks in my direction and I automatically swing my hand down to the cards, palm flat on the table.

“Hold.”

The men scoff to themselves, but Blackjack didn’t look convinced.

“Since when do you play it safe?” He asks, cocking a brow.

I gave him a coy little wink and he left it at that.

“Hit me.” He tells Zane.

Zane puts down a five of hearts. The brothers stay silent.

Blackjack wasn’t satisfied. “Hit me again.”

Down comes the King of Hearts looking up at us with his brilliant red. Zane waits for Blackjack’s cue but the man shakes his head.

“Hold.”

Everyone was on the edge of their seats, watching the game unfold. Kade was holding his hands together, staring intensely at the cards between us. Zane, on the other hand, was wiping his brow from the humidity in the room. Not even the AC could simmer us all down.

I cross my legs together, left over right, and begin drumming my fingers down on the table. Blackjack automatically notices, and he takes a jab at me.

Impatient already, Monroe?”

My baby blue eyes look up to him in that moment.

“On the contrary, I’m willing to let you go first.”

He gave an empty shrug as the boys encourage him. The width of his hand swept over his cards and he flipped his game up to face the ceiling. In his draws, there was the King of Hearts, the five of hearts, and last but not least––the five of clubs. He had a solid twenty with three cards combined; it was an unlikely trio.

“Ashley’s in for it!” Kade sniggers to them all.

Zane could only shake his head, “Got anything good, Ash?”

“Not much, really.” I admit, sprawling the cards in front of me.

The ace was just above my hand before my fingers glided up to the parred unknown card. One flip was all it took for the men fill the club with their dubious gasps.

The Jack of Spades himself was grinning up at them all.

Blackjack couldn’t believe it himself.

With a teasing smile digging into my lips, I slide the cards in his direction.  “All I’ve got is Blackjack’ in the palm of my hands.”