~ Ares

 

While I prided myself on running a tight ship, there were inevitably times where the firm ran into difficulties. Usually, it only happened once every six months —but hell if I was prepared for it to happen right after my office tryst with Ava. The terms of a deal I signed a year ago with some prominent Japanese developers had changed, and now I stood to lose about ten million dollars if we couldn’t find some common ground. The crunch period that followed included a four-day trip to Tokyo, an obscene amount of paperwork and some choice words in the direction of the lackey I’d put in charge of the deal.

After two weeks of running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I was exhausted as hell. Atop that, I hadn’t seen Ava once and I felt her absence sorely.

That wasn’t to say that I hadn’t followed the schedule she set for me. I found myself itching to please, even when she wasn’t around, which was something that both irked and entertained me.

In keeping with the “chaste” image we were building, I did a few radio shows, a handful of TV appearances and even made a public donation to a new homeless shelter they were building downtown. I was surprised when handing over a cool hundred thousand gave me a fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had never been a big charity guy—not because I didn’t want to, but simply because there were other things on the docket. It felt good enough that I caught myself seriously contemplating donating again. My sweet little publicist was really turning me around doing the impossible.

I’d have to thank Ava for turning me onto the straight and narrow if I ever fucking saw her again. Every interview and appearance she arranged for me was an amalgamation of small talk designed to promote my new image... and my libido viciously reminding me how fucking gorgeous she’d been beneath me when I bent her over my desk. Part of me wondered if it was pushing too hard too fast, but Ava had taken the rough treatment like a champ and I couldn’t wait to give her a second helping.

I found myself with an overwhelming desire to have Ava in my arms... but getting to her was easier said than done—even in the wake of the Japanese fiasco.

It might have been easier to slake my lust with another woman. After all, I was surrounded by them in the office and I’d met several in Tokyo who all but propositioned to me... but for some reason, my libido had very recently hit a brick wall. Since Ava, there had been no sleeping around, no tabloid headlines and no retribution from women spurned. As uncharacteristic of me as it was, I found that I liked the peace and quiet... and it only made me want Ava all the more.

It had been almost two and a half weeks when I broke. I was at the penthouse in the study finishing my review of some last-minute finance documents, when I just stopped. Stopped. It took everything I had to refrain from scattering my papers on the floor like a petulant child.

I wanted Ava, needed her. Scowling, I extracted my cell phone from my pocket, hesitating for only a moment before I composed a text.

Need to see you. Emergency.

I purposely left the details vague so she would take the bait. Sure enough, I barely had to wait five minutes before I got a text in reply.

I’m not in the office. Caught up in something at home. Can you give me a few hours?

Hell no. I’d given it two fucking weeks already.

Give me your address. I’ll come to you.

This time, I waited almost ten minutes for her to answer, and each second was literal torture.

I live in Brooklyn. It’s far.

I almost groaned aloud. At this point, I wouldn’t care if she was in China.

Address, Ava. Now.

It was probably a bit forceful, but if our last time together was any indication, Ava liked things a little rough. After another minute or two, she sent me her address and I was up and out of the penthouse in the next five minutes. I chose to drive myself in favor of going through the trouble of calling the driver for the Rolls, and within half an hour, I was pulling up outside of her apartment complex.

The neighborhood she lived in was neither amazing or terrible, but the apartments had been through the mill. On sight, I could tell the entire block had been redone a good four or five times, and the units inside would have suffered for it. It was no small wonder that she wanted a townhouse in the city—and I was proud that my contract would allow her to do it. To my knowledge, it was now a simple question of getting the ball rolling.

I didn’t bother dwelling on where Ava was going to be for very long. In this moment, she was here—four floors up, and the very notion made both my heart (and my dick) swell. I reached the fourth floor in under a minute and knocked on the door with enough force to wake anyone who might be listening—hopefully, no one was still sleeping at this hour.

In the two minutes that passed before Ava opened the door, an entire bevy of possibilities crossed my mind. She’d given me the wrong address. She didn’t want to see me. She’d gone to the office just to spite me and then, all at once, there she was.

Her green eyes were wide, hair wrapped up in a towel. It was obvious on the dewy glow of her skin that I’d caught her in the middle of a shower. That, and the damp silk robe that clung to her curves. She wasn’t wearing a stitch of makeup—or real clothing—and she was absolutely mouthwatering.

“Ares?” She exclaimed, surprise evident in her voice. “That was quick. What route did you take to get—”

I cut her off by stepping into her apartment as I swept her into my arms, pressing my mouth to hers. I groaned at the fulfillment of kissing her—she tasted like mint, chocolate, and everything good in the world and all I wanted was to continue kissing her until one or both of us remembered that we had to breathe. When I pulled back to gaze down at her face, however, the flush of want I’d expected was absent. Instead, Ava stared up at me with a kiss-swollen mouth and a wary expression. It was enough to douse my fire somewhat, and I shut the door behind me before I confronted her. “Don’t tell me you weren’t expecting that.”

When I reached for her again, Ava backed away slightly, her expression unreadable, and I scowled. Under normal circumstances, she all but fell into my arms. She wanted the pleasure I gave her... but it was obvious that something major had changed in the past two weeks. “Ava? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She replied far too quickly for the word to mean anything. “Nothing’s wrong... I just... you said an emergency. I thought you wanted to talk about an appearance or something.” She turned away from me to busy herself re-arranging things that were already tidy. For some reason, she didn’t want to look at me—and I didn’t like it.

“Two weeks is a long fucking time.” I came up behind her, wrapping my arms around her slender waist to press a heated kiss against the damp hairs at the base of her neck. “Let me...” She shuddered when I scraped my teeth against her throat and busied myself undoing the ties of her robe. She smelled like heaven and I needed to be inside of her as quickly as humanly possible. Before I could get very far, however, her hand stayed mine as she attempted to pull away from me again.

“Ares, I don’t—”

“Come back here.” I tugged her against me with a low, demanding growl, one hand slipping beneath her robe to cup the warmth of a bare breast. When the nipple instantly pebbled in my hand, I knew I had her. She might be trying to escape me, but it wasn’t because she didn’t want me. “Let me have you, Ava. God, I need you.” When I tugged at her nipple gently, a soft cry escaped her…and she shoved from my arms, whirling to face me with color high on her cheeks. Her expression was so indignant it almost shocked away my erection, and I found myself staring at her, utterly nonplussed. What the hell?

“Don’t do that,” she demanded breathlessly, her green eyes shining with something that looked awfully like tears. “Don’t boss me around. Jesus, Ares, you know what you do to women—you hardly have to order me to do what you say.”

My stomach clenched at that particular line as I ran a hand through my hair. Fuck... I hadn’t meant to upset her. Sometimes it was easy to forget that she’d been a virgin before I had her. She just looked so goddamned scrumptious and fresh.

“Can you even be with a woman without bossing her around?” Ava demanded, cutting off my mental tangent abruptly. “If you want me now, Ares, it has to be on equal terms. I’m not going to just bend over for you.”

For almost a full minute, I merely gazed down at her minute form. Ava was all but trembling in indignation—something I had inadvertently caused. If she had been any other woman, the drama would have sent me from her apartment in a huff. I didn’t do demanding, or whiny, or petulant. If a woman didn’t want it on my terms, I didn’t want her.

But that was before Ava.

I sighed heavily, shrugging out of my coat before tossing it over the back of a nearby sofa. I took a moment to gaze around the small living room, taking in the muted colors, ornate sofa and small trinkets that spoke volumes of the woman that stood before me. There was even a little fireplace—dark and unused, as the season was just coming upon us.

Ava wanted something slow and sensual; she wanted what I gave her our first night together; and I needed her so badly that I would take her any way I could have her,even if it wasn’t mine.

Pointing at the dark stone fireplace, I finally spoke. “Do you have a starter log for this thing?”

My question seemed to shock her from her anger. “For the… Oh.”  Ava dropped her arms from where she’d crossed them over her chest protectively, exposing the delicious vee of her cleavage. “Yes. Why? It’s barely fall.”

“Where is it?”

Ava scowled, crossing her arms and plumping her cleavage up tantalizingly. Somehow, I suppressed a groan.

“Ares, I’m trying to have a conversation with you, damn it.”

“And I’m trying to romance you,” I rebutted, with equal fervor. “So, where’s the damn starter log?”

Ava’s mouth snapped shut as her eyes blew wide once more. “You’re... what?”

I couldn’t help but smirk at the speed with which the ire fled her expression. “Starter log. And I assume you have wine? Where’s the kitchen?”

Ava merely pointed—first at the pile of four or so starter logs in the corner near the fireplace and then off towards her tiny kitchen. I stepped forward to pull her into my arms again, and this time, there was less resistance. When I kissed her, a soft, contented little sigh escaped her and I quelled the predator in me that wanted to take her right then and there. Instead, I merely lifted her bridal style to lay her on the couch before raising my mouth from hers. “Sit here.” I murmured against her ear before remembering that I was supposed to be on my best behavior. “Please.”

Ava didn’t protest, which I took as a green light to carry out my hastily organized plan. In ten minutes, I got a small fire started in her fireplace and rummaged through her kitchen until I came up with a half-full bottle of cabernet sauvignon. I’d known Ava was a red wine girl but the name on the bottle only furthered my respect for her. She only had two glasses, but both were clean, and so I filled them before returning to her. Placing the wine on the coffee table, I took a seat on the floor before the fire and tugged her down into my lap.

I had never been and probably never would be a romantic, but I had to admit this was nice. Ava blushed as she settled atop me, and the firelight illuminated her face beautifully. With a small scowl, I tugged the towel from her hair, sending damp blonde strands tumbling down her back. “What did I catch you in the middle of, now?”

She laughed, and it was the most glorious sound I’d heard in a long time. “Deep conditioning.”

I chuckled. “Am I not more entertaining than deep conditioning?”

Ava rolled her eyes, reaching for her wine. “You’re a lot more complicated than deep conditioning.”

“Am I?” I edged the hem collar of her robe down over a bare shoulder to massage it slowly with a single hand until she sighed, her head falling back against me. “I thought I was simple. ‘Playboy seeks top model for sexual dalliance. Spends one hundred grand on new sports car prototype.’”

Ava frowned. “You’re not all bad.” She took a sip of her wine before offering the same glass to me. The gesture was unexpected, humbling, in a way, and I took a long sip so long, in fact, that she had to steal the glass away with a small, amused smile. “Still an alcoholic, though.”

I swallowed, rolling my eyes. “There’s very little in this world I’m actually addicted to, Ava.”

“Oh, is that a fact? Do tell.” She set her wine aside to eye me skeptically, and I took in every feature of her face—from her slightly slanted eyes to her pixie nose and her full lips.

When I answered, my words came from the core of me—there wasn’t a single iota of untruth to them. “I’m addicted to you.”

My words rendered her speechless for a moment, that cute little flush working its way up from her neck to encompass her entire face. “Stop that.”

“I’m serious,” I deadpanned, leaning forward to take her lips in a brief kiss. “Two weeks without you and I came up with a diabolical plan to get into your panties.”

Ava tried in vain to hide her laughter and failed horribly when it came bubbling out. “Ares, that’s not funny.”

“But you’re laughing.”

“It’s not—”

I cut her off with another kiss—deeper this time. More indulgent. When my tongue tangled with hers, she inhaled sharply, her fingers tunneling through my hair to pull me closer. This time, when I reached for the belt of her robe, she let me.

The silky material slithered through my fingertips before the material parted. As I suspected, Ava was gloriously bare beneath, her skin still damp from her shower. I cupped the warmth of a single breast, stroking its downy underside until she moaned against my mouth. It was a reminder for me to pull back, if just for a moment, and observe my handiwork.

Ava’s lips were slightly parted, her hair mussed as she looked up at me. The raw need in her expression took my breath away. I had been her first—her only. I was still her only. Was that really a gift I was ready to toss aside?

I reached for her as she turned her lips up to me once more—and grabbed a number of pillows from the couch behind her head to tumble them onto the carpet around us.

“Ares,” Ava gave me a wryly amused look. “What are you doing?”

I hushed her with another kiss before plucking her from my lap to lay on the pillows before me. In that instant, I was glad I had gone through all the trouble to set the mood. The firelight glinted off the pure gold of Ava’s hair and shone on her skin, transforming her into an ethereal, sensual angel.

“Making love to you,” I answered automatically, moving over her to kiss her again. She liked it when I sucked her bottom lip, running my tongue over the tender flesh just inside, and so I did. The shudder I got was an intoxicating reward. “Is that all right, Miss Parker?” My hands found her breasts, toying with her nipples until they peaked into diamond-like tips and she writhed beneath me.

“Ares...”

My mouth trailed down her throat to suck hungrily at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. “You have to give me permission, Ava...” I whispered, heated, against her skin. “I’m not bullying... I’m asking.” I stopped stimulating her for long enough that she could come to her senses—that if she truly wanted to throw me out on my ass, she could. Though my hands ached to touch her I forced myself to wait. If she wanted this on an even keel, she would have to choose me. I wanted her to choose me. “Do you want me to make love to you?”

When those green eyes of hers met mine, something twisted in my chest. There was lust there, certainly, but also trust. And something deeper, something I didn’t dare try to identify. “Yes,” she finally answered, her voice barely above a whisper. “I do.”

With her permission granted, I fell on her like a starving man—eager to take as much as I was to please. My mouth found a peaked, taut nipple to suckle as my hand delved between her legs to find her already hot and wet for me. At the discovery, I groaned, nipping at the hard flesh in my mouth. She gasped, arching against me. Ava’s moans were music to my ears. I could very contentedly make them the soundtrack of my life—mine to listen to whenever I needed reminding of what was right in the world.

Her fingers curled around the back of my neck as I drew eagerly on her breasts. From our times together, I had learned what made her squirm—just how rough I could be without overwhelming her. I implemented those lessons now, biting and suckling at her pretty pink nipples until she was whining and grasping at my shoulders desperately. Between her legs, my fingers played with her slick folds, sliding along her drenched opening as I toyed with the idea of slipping a finger or two inside.

Would one be enough for her? She was so slippery she could easily take two. Hell, she could take my cock if I gave it to her... but I wouldn’t rush. It had been two goddamned weeks and I wanted to savor every moment of this reunion.

I moved my mouth back up to hers to kiss her slowly, memorizing every crevasse with my lips, tongue, and teeth. Despite her squirming, or the way she whimpered pleadingly against me, I didn’t give in. My fingers continued to circle her entrance as I lowered my mouth to her ear to tell her just how much I wanted her—how much she had haunted my dreams.

Ava’s hands moved erratically over me—up my shoulders to grasp at them desperately before clenching at my forearms in an attempt to get me to move faster and give her more. She didn’t realize that she had all but given me leave to torture her.

After a few leisurely minutes of teasing among the slick folds of her pussy, I left her aching to knead her thighs and behind. Jesus, that ass... I couldn’t help but marvel at how Ava was petite and slender, yet curvaceous all at once. Her ass fit perfectly into my hands—two warm, soft globes that I needed to kiss and worship.

When I flipped her onto her stomach, a soft sound of surprise escaped her. She was still in her robe, though now it covered next to nothing. I flipped the thin material up to reveal the pale globes of her ass and her long, slender thighs before my mouth found the tender skin to bite and lick until she squealed.

I liked making Ava squeal. Every time we saw one another, she put on a dignified, professional front that I longed to tear down. She was good at her job, certainly, and I could certainly respect her zeal for what she did... but behind closed doors, I wanted her writhing in pleasure. I wanted her on her knees, bent over, beneath me, on top of me.

I wanted her like this.

She arched up into my ministrations, soft, breathy moans escaping her as I explored the backs of her thighs and the surprisingly tender skin behind her knee. My tongue dipped into the giving hollow there and a breathless laugh, half ticklish, half shocked pleasure, escaped her. I massaged her calves as my mouth roved higher to the curve of her ass, to press a series of stinging bites there that had her both trying to flee and arching back against me.

I made the swift call to temper her indecision by parting the cheeks of her behind to find the puckered little rosebud between. My dear little Ava was such a wild, sensual little thing that I didn’t even hesitate, pressing my tongue against the tight opening to taste her there. Her reaction was enough to have my cock fighting the zipper of my slacks within seconds. She jerked upright onto both arms, a strangled sound escaping her—almost as if she might protest and then thought better of it. As she sank back down onto the pile of pillows with a groan, pressing back against my mouth shamelessly, I chuckled. I could all but see the prim, proper side of her battling the primal side that wanted nothing but indulgence.

My tongue probed the tight ring of muscle between her cheeks until she was gasping, her fingers curling into the pillows beneath us, every muscle in her body taunt. She was so wet her juices were sliding down her thighs, the musk of her sex permeating the room. She liked this. Loved it, in fact. When I finally raised my mouth from her, she growled, actually growled, attempting to force me back into place. Instead, I merely flipped her back into a supine position, spreading her legs so I could settle between them as I undid the buttons of my shirt.

In my life, I hadn’t ever really worked out for anyone but myself. Sure, there was the payoff of women salivating over the results, but I pushed my body because I needed to feel the burn. I swore I wouldn’t be like other businessmen in my field—old and beer-bellied by forty. But when Ava looked at me... I discovered vanity. The moment I stripped my t-shirt off over my head, she stared at me, slack jawed and admiring, a moment before reaching up to run her hands over my bare chest.

“God, you’re gorgeous...” She moaned the words softly a moment before sitting up on her knees to mold her mouth to mine almost bruisingly. I held her against me as she kissed every part of me she could reach. Her tiny, hot tongue edged up under my ear and traced its way down my neck before she bit and sucked hungrily at the line of my throat. What she didn’t have in experience, she made up for with pure enthusiasm and it drove me absolutely wild.

When her fingertips slid over the flat coin of a nipple, my breath hissed out from between my teeth and my head fell back as a groan rippled from me. Emboldened, Ava climbed into my lap to continue her ministrations. Her mouth followed the path of her hands as she rocked herself indulgently against my aching cock.

I wanted to free it, to tug it from my pants to rub against her soft belly and breasts, but she wasn’t having that. Instead, Ava pressed me back against the couch, sucking possessive marks against my chest and shoulders as her hand slid down to find the jut of my cock between us.

Though I was still wearing slacks, the tentative touch of her hand was enough to make my cock jump. Ava made me more sensitive than any woman before her, and I found myself scrambling to avoid embarrassment as she stroked me through the woolen material that separated us. Just the sight of her atop me in her half-open robe, all glowing, flushed skin, and breathless need, was enough to bring me right to the brink.

My blonde goddess teased me for what seemed like an eternity before finally undoing my pants and reaching in to fold her fingers around the hot column of my cock. A low curse escaped me as pleasure seared through every nerve ending. Fuck, I needed her. I wanted to push her onto her back and slam into her in a bid to assuage my mindless need. But, somehow, I held out. I let her stroke me from base to tip, stimulating me until glassy beads of pre-come were sliding down the length of my cock to slick her way.

When she withdrew to raise her fingers to her mouth and taste me, I groaned. I could be patient, but I was no fucking saint. In a trice, I lifted her from my lap to set on the couch. The position suited my intentions perfectly. All it took was some slight shifting on my part as I parted her thighs and then I was there. In fucking heaven.

When I buried my face between her legs, Ava cried out, tugging at my hair in a vain attempt to deter me. “Ares...” Her moans were drugged with relentless pleasure. “No... noooo... let me...” A few flicks of my tongue were enough to dissolve her pleas into mindless babble as I tasted her selfishly. I would let her touch me more later, I promised myself. For now, I just needed to give her everything. I could give her everything and it still wouldn’t compare to what she’d given me.

But I could damn well try.

I ate at Ava hungrily, enjoying every keening moan, every whimper, and every gasp as my tongue plied over the softest parts of her. When I licked over her in long, leisurely laps, she arched against me boldly. When I fastened onto her clit to suckle, flicking my tongue madly against the sensitive little nub, she trembled uncontrollably, and when I finally slipped two fingers into her clenching sex, she clamped down on them almost immediately, my name on her lips as she came with a violent, breathtaking shudder.

That.

Dear fucking God, I needed that.

By the time she came down, still trying to catch her breath, I lifted her back onto the pillows. I eased the sleeves of her robe down and off her, leaving her gloriously naked before me. It was a trial to tear my eyes from her even for the two seconds I needed to shuck my pants, but then I was back, my skin sliding against hers, and I knew there had never been a better sensation in all of fucking Christendom.

“Ares please...” She cupped my face, drawing my mouth down to hers. “Please, I need you.”

My tongue tangled with hers as my thumbs drew lazy circles over her sensitive hipbones. “How do you want it, Sweet?” I drew one of her legs upward to rest her foot against my shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to her instep. My opposite hand trekked inwards until my thumb settled over her swollen clit, beginning to rub circles with a barely-there caress that had her jerking in sensation against me. “Tell me.”

Ava reached for my cock desperately, stroking me in an attempt to draw me nearer to her. “Like this. Just like this.”

How the hell could I refuse that?

I lifted her hips slightly to ease into her—inch by glorious inch—reveling in the way she tightened around me. Ava’s spine bowed from the pillows as she clutched at me wildly, drawing me even deeper inside. A litany of encouragement fell from her lips—a mash up of my name and encouraging, sweet pleas as I seated myself deep inside her.

Fucking Christ.

She was too tight, so goddamned hot around me that I thought I might die from it. It would be one hell of a way to go, and I’d be buried with a smile on my face, that was for sure—but it meant that I wouldn’t get to see her come again.

And that just wouldn’t do.

Holding her hips flush against me, I began a slow, leisurely rhythm inside her. With one of her legs against my chest, I could get deeper than I ever had before, and Ava’s head fell back as I thrust into her, a sheen of sweat gleaming against her skin.

“Ares...”

I needed to hear her say my name like that... over and over again until it was burned into my mind.

“Ares, God... oh my God, that feels so good...”

She was utterly divine—her fingers clenching and unclenching in the pillows, her hips pressing back against me to take all I had and more. I lost myself in her soft moans, in her body and her eyes and everything that was Ava Parker. The soft quiver of her stomach muscles hypnotized me, and the way she cried out when I changed angles threatened to undo me.

In the end, though, it was when she clamped down on me, the muscles of her hot, sweet sex milking me powerfully as she came. It was the way she all but screamed my name, her entire body quivering like a bowstring... that was what undid me.

I growled, low and long, increasing my pace slightly until the friction of her skin against mine, her spasming sex and her gasping cries forced me over the edge. With a hoarse shout, I found my own completion, pressing deep as waves of blinding, white hot pleasure crashed over me.

When I collapsed atop her, still emptying myself inside her, she didn’t complain. Instead, Ava merely folded her arms around me and welcomed me into her embrace, her palms stroking slowly over the expanse of my back and shoulders. She was so goddamned tiny I knew I must be crushing her, but when she held me like that, I didn’t want to move. I wanted to stay inside of her until the real world called us back...  for as long as humanly possible.

To her credit, it was a long while before Ava voiced even the slightest discomfort at my dead weight. The moment she did, however, I rolled off her with a sigh. In the short time since I’d gotten off, I’d already grown half-hard again from just the feel of her around me, and I resisted the urge to start round two. Instead, I merely tugged her into my arms, holding her close as I brushed kisses across her forehead, nose, and jawline. Ava snuggled contentedly into my embrace, resting her head against my shoulder and, for a while, I thought she might have drifted off.

I took the opportunity to examine her living room with a curiosity that had eluded me before. I had come to her apartment with one goal in mind and now, I found myself hungry to learn everything I could about her. Sex with Ava was mind-blowing, but I wanted to know her. I wanted to see that smile twenty-four seven. To make her laugh like no one else could.

I took in the real estate magazines on her coffee table—it was clear she’d done her research before jumping blindly into a deal on an apartment. A diploma from NYU hung in a place of prestige on her wall, and around it were over a dozen paintings of all sizes and subject matter. The raw emotion in each and every piece caught my eye, and I found myself examining them one by one.

A few were landscapes—seasonal scenes in Central Park that depicted the every-day activities of people in the city. There were couples lounging in Strawberry Fields in the summer, people walking their dogs in the fall, and children playing in snowdrifts in the winter. There were still lifes—fruit, sculptures, and a few household objects, each so realistic they seemed to leap off the page. And then there were a few portraits—one of a blonde woman who looked like she could be Ava in thirty years or so—though the turn of her mouth was far too sour to make her resemble Ava completely. There was another blonde with similar features, much younger than the first, and I supposed she might be Ava’s sister. Like the woman before her, there was something closed-off in her features—something cold that kept her from being as beautiful as her sibling.

The third image, however, surprised me. A man with Ava’s eyes held a child that couldn’t be more than three or four years old—a little girl reaching out for the seeds of a dandelion he blew into the wind. I knew, without a doubt, that girl had to be Ava. Her smile was carefree, her brow unworried by the adult issues that would later darken her doorstep. In this world, she was just a girl playing with her father... and the image made my heart stutter in my chest.

“What are you looking at?” When Ava murmured softly against my shoulder, I started slightly before looking down at her.

“The paintings on your wall... did you have them commissioned? They’re gorgeous.”

There was a slight pause before she answered me, raising her mussed blonde head until her gaze met mine. “I painted them.” Her words were so soft that she meant, no doubt, for me to mishear them. But that would have been impossible.

Immediately, my eyes went wide in shock as my stomach clenched. “You painted these? Why didn’t you tell me that you painted?”

Ava sighed, her eyes sliding closed a moment before she slipped from my embrace, reaching for the silk robe I’d discarded moments earlier. “I... don’t know.” She pulled on the robe before knotting the belt around her middle. Smoothing her blonde hair back into place as best she could, she turned to face me once more, her expression confused. “I suppose it’s because I felt like that would be opening up to you on a deeper level... a more personal level.” She reached for one of the glasses of wine at the edge of the table to take a long, steadying sip as my brow furrowed.

“And what’s wrong with that?” I asked.

Ava frowned, toying with the glass in her hands for a moment before she answered. “Ares... I don’t want to make this out to be anything more than what it really is. I... we...” She struggled for words for almost a full minute before she finally blurted what was on her mind. “This is a fling. A momentary, lustful little interlude that will end the moment you get tired of me.” Ava exhaled a long breath before continuing. “I don’t want to cling, I don’t want to try to make you into something you don’t want to be—God knows I do enough of that already. But Jesus, when you make love to me like that...” Her eyes went soft and longing as she recalled our most recent bout of loving, “What the hell am I supposed to think? I’m so confused... and I don’t want to be.”

For a moment, words stuck in my throat. Fuck, I didn’t do emotions. I didn’t do relationships and I didn’t do complications. I had sworn off all those things a long fucking time ago and never looked back. But now... seeing Ava so conflicted... made me want to give her more. If there were ever someone I would want to try to be with, it was Ava. She was intelligent, kind, and a shark at her profession. I respected the hell out of her and lusted after her all at once.

But old habits die hard.

Blowing out a long breath, I ran a hand through my hair before sitting back against the couch. I’d never been much of a talker when it came to my personal life... but if I didn’t want Ava to get the wrong impression, I’d have to come clean.

And I could do that.

“Ava... what’s between us... it isn’t just meaningless. I couldn’t just toss you aside. You mean more to me than that. I respect you... I have feelings for you that add up to more than just a simple fuck and run, I swear. But I can’t do commitment. I can’t do what comes after that.” I knew how insensitive I must look. “I can’t meet you on that level. I need control. I can’t lose it or else I’ll fucking self-destruct.” My chest constricted as I remembered what had happened all those years ago. If Ava was going to understand, she needed to know.

I couldn’t look at her. I didn’t want to see the disappointment—or horror—in her eyes when I divulged. And so, instead, I just talked. “Ten years ago, before the firm and all the money, I was in a relationship. Her name was Laura, and she loved me despite the fact that I had nothing. Despite the fact that I was a rotten kid who had a rotten childhood and even worse attitude. She was my everything.”

I raised a hand to my face to rub at the ache blooming to life in my temples. “When my grandfather died and left me his money, I went crazy trying to invest it. I wanted to create a better life for her—for us. She deserved more and I wanted to give it to her. I wanted to give her everything.” I swallowed thickly, my expression hardening. “But building a company takes time. All the meetings I had, the paperwork involved... hours slogging around the city looking for investors and my first pieces of real-estate... I spent more and more time away from her, and she started to resent me. Eventually, she didn’t want to be near me even when I was around.

“And then, one day, I came home and she was gone. Just like that. All she left was a note telling me that it was obvious that I loved the idea of money more than her. She didn’t understand—couldn’t understand.”

The most difficult part of my story stuck in my throat like a poisonous burr. I could have ended it there—could have pretended there was nothing else. But that would be doing Ava a disservice. She’d put her trust in me... and now I’d have to prove myself worthy. “I eventually found out that she was pregnant when she left. About two months along. When she walked out, she got rid of the baby without even telling me. I turned around a month later and she was dating my best friend—right in front of my face. She didn’t want me—just like my father didn’t fucking want me.”

I cleared my throat, doing my best to purge the grief from my voice. “I went to a dark fucking place, Ava. All I could think about was the baby she denied me. The best friend who spat in my face. My fucking father and his alcohol-fueled beatings... and the mother that died bringing me into this messed up world. I wanted to die... and if it weren’t for my company, I might have. My drive was the only thing that kept me from doing something stupid, and once I was on top I swore I would never be in another relationship I couldn’t control. Never again. So, here I am... in all my fucked-up glory.” I shrugged, finally raising my head to take in the woman across from me, my heart in my throat. “I don’t think I can ever really be what you want, and for that, I’m truly, truly sorry.”