Liam could tell that Ayumi was genuinely sad to leave his family the next day. Shocker, considering she'd never wanted to meet them. But she hugged every single one of his aunts, and practically had to be dragged away from him mother. He was pretty sure he even saw her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

It made him feel good, though. He really did love his family, and they were awesome people. They liked to make other people feel good, and Ayumi could definitely use some goodness in her life.

After the scar discovery, Liam had gone back to his shower. Stood under the spray for much longer than was necessary and stared at the floor.

What the fuck is going on?

First they're fucking in his laundry room. Then going their separate ways. Then she shows up on his doorstep and next thing he knows, they're glimpsing each others souls in his mother's house.

He hadn't planned on liking Ayumi Nakada, mostly because he never really had. Sex was just sex; he had sex with lots of people he didn't like – Brighton Stone being the perfect example. Ayumi's little arrangement was right up Liam's alley. Good sex with a hot chick with no commitment and no need to pretend to be something he wasn't? Sign him up!

What he'd gotten instead, though, was fucking amazing sex with a beautiful human being. She hid it well because she let a scar full of words control her entire personality, but underneath it all, Ayumi really was beautiful. Goddamn stunning.

If she could just see it for herself.

So Liam added it to the list of things to do while they were on vacation. Teaching someone their own value, though, was kind of difficult, so he started with the easiest thing to teach her first.

“Wait, what are you doing?” she asked him after he'd stopped the car along some utility road in the middle of the Los Padres National Forest. “Are we allowed to be here? That sign says it's for forest service use only.”

“Don't be such a baby,” he chuckled as he climbed out of his seat. “Slide over.”

“What?”

When he opened the passenger door and started to push her, she seemed to get the idea and she slid over till she was behind the steering wheel.

“Everyone should be able to drive stick,” he informed her as he sat down. “What if you're caught in the zombie apocalypse, and the only get-away vehicle is a manual?”

“I don't believe in zombies. I don't want to do this,” she insisted, staring down at the pedals as if she'd never seen any before.

“It'll be fun. Okay, first of all, push the clutch in,” he told her, then he burst out laughing when she started looking at the dashboard.

“What? I've never done this before, jack ass!” she snapped, punching him in the arm.

“The little pedal, way over there on left, by itself,” he said, leaning across her and pointing at it. “Push it in with your foot and hold it down. The car won't turn on if you don't have the clutch in.”

She got those instructions well enough to get the car on no problem, but then she immediately took her foot off the clutch. The car hiccuped and the engine died.

“What did I do? Did I break it!?” she exclaimed, holding up her hands like she was under arrest.

“No. Try it again, but keep your foot down. You can't let out the clutch till your pressing down on the gas, okay?” he said. She did as told and the engine roared to life. “Now, this is the tricky part – making the car go. You want to ease off the clutch slowly, all while pressing down on the gas. It may take a while to get the hang of it, but it'll happen.”

“Got it. Okay. I can do this!” she said through clenched teeth, and she started to move her feet.

Fifteen minutes later, Liam wasn't so sure. They'd bunny hopped quite far down the service road, but she still hadn't been able to get the car rolling forward. She seemed incapable of understanding what he meant by “ease off” and as soon as the car would start to move, she'd dump the clutch.

“Stop!” he finally shouted after the umpeenth time.

“I told you I didn't want to do this,” she grumbled. He raked his fingers through his hair and glanced around, then got an idea.

“Here, we're going to do this old school style,” he said, then he squeezed in close to her and reached down between her legs.

“Um, I don't think that's going to help me, Liam,” she told him.

“You wish I was fucking you right now,” he snorted, then he grabbed the bar under her, forcing her seat to slide backwards.

“Why did you do that? Now I can't even reach the pedals,” she complained, stretching her legs out.

“But I'll be able to. Scooch forward.”

It was awkward at first, and she set off the horn when she leaned against the steering wheel, but eventually Liam was pretty much sitting behind her. She was between her legs, her ass sitting uncomfortably on his crotch. He tried to adjust himself and got a glare thrown at him.

“This is supposed to be a driving lesson, not a lap dance.”

“Good, because you suck at lap dances,” he replied. Before she could argue more with him, he grabbed her hands and put them back on the steering wheel. “Okay, my feet are on the pedals. Put your feet over mine and feel what I do. We'll drive for a little, then you can try again.”

He got them all the way to second gear, then together they turned the car around and started back down the way they came. Finally, after letting her feel him shift a couple times, he stopped the car.

“If I can't get this, we're giving up,” she warned him, turning the ignition.

“If you can't get this, then you're not nearly as smart as I think you are,” he replied.

He stretched his arms out along the back of his seat and waited. She took several deep breaths, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the steering wheel. Then she leaned back into him, looking down so she could check on her feet. One more deep breath, and he felt her leg starting to move. Slowly, very slowly, she let out the clutch, while at the same time pushing down on the gas.

It was excruciatingly slow, and the car shuddered once, but it didn't die. They eventually rolled forward and magically kept going. The clutch was all the way out and she hadn't kill the car.

“I did it!” she squealed, slamming on the brakes. The car hacked and leapt forward, instantly dying. “That doesn't count, I was excited. I got it to move!”

“You totally did, Ice Queen. Good job,” he laughed, reaching around her and holding out his hand for a high five. She slapped him on the palm, then even did a fist bump.

“Now I would so survive a zombie apocalypse. Can I try again? Can I shift this time? When do I get to learn how to do a donut?”

“Baby steps, let's see if we can get you up to second gear first.”

They drove up and down the rode for a while. Whenever she shifted, the gears would grind in a way that made him want to cry, but she got it done.

It was great to see her so excited, so overjoyed at something so simple. In San Francisco, Ayumi had always been so serious. His complete opposite, it had been almost impossible to make her life. He never would've imagined that something as simple as making this lonely, taciturn woman smile could've made him feel so good about himself.

She knows all your deep dark secrets. Knows what a bad person you're capable of being. And she's still sitting here, laughing with you.

Liam wasn't sure how long he'd been zoning out for, just staring at the back of her head and listening to her laugh. She was attempting to turn the huge car around and was leaning almost against the wheel. When they were pointed in the other direction, she sat back down again, almost completely on top of him. He squirmed uncomfortably as perfect-ass met quickly-hardening-penis.

“Can I drive us to the next spot?” she asked, gunning the engine and getting them up to third gear.

“Maybe we should wait a while before we let you loose on the freeway,” he laughed, then bit back a groan when she started moving her hips to the song playing on the radio.

“I'd do fine. We're only going like half an hour, right? How hard can it be to drive to Santa Barbara?”

“Ayumi.”

“Huh?”

“Stop the car.”

The brakes squealed as they rolled to a complete stop.

“What's up?” she asked, trying to look over her shoulder at him. He leaned forward and turned the key, pulling it out of the ignition. Then he wrapped his arms around her and her forced her to lean back with him.

“Me,” he murmured, brushing her ponytail to the side and kissing along her neck. “You're very sexy when you're having fun, Ms. Nakada.”

“You're insane,” she laughed loudly. “Me driving turned you on? Is there anything that doesn't turn you on?”

“Um, astrology?” he threw out the first word that came to mind, then he lifted his hands to cup her breasts.

“I'm sure if some busty blonde was willing to read your star sign, you'd get turned on,” Ayumi challenged.

“Ah, but I don't like blondes.”

“Brie is a blonde.”

“It's very annoying how well you know,” he sighed, lowering one hand so he could shove it up under her sweater. “I don't like blondes anymore.”

“Oh, really? And what kind of hair types do you like, Mr. Edenhoff?” she asked, resting her head back on his shoulder.

“I find I'm very partial to black hair, all of a sudden,” he murmured, trying to work his hand under the cup of her bra. She squirmed in her seat, pressing her ass harder against his erection.

“We can't do this,” she breathed. “I don't have sex outside in broad daylight.”

“Really? That's weird, because you're about to.”

“Maybe if we make it really fast, we can still -”

The sound of a cough behind them startled her so bad, she shrieked and sat up right. She cracked Liam in the nose with her head and he groaned, pulling his head away from her. He turned to the side in time to see a forest ranger stroll up next to their door.

“Howdy,” the guy said, peering over the top of his sunglasses. Out the corner of his eye, Liam could see a scarlet blush creeping up the side of Ayumi's cheeks, and it made him smile big. He tightened his hold on her, then looked up at the ranger.

“Hey there, what's up?” he asked casually, ignoring her hands as she started pulling at his wrists.

“You know this is a private road, right? Authorized vehicles, only,” the officer informed them.

“We're so sorry,” Ayumi gushed. “I didn't no how to drive stick, and really, it's dangerous for only one of us to know, what if he had a heart attack or something, and I need to drive? Or, or ... zombies?”

She's kinda cute when she babbles.

“Zombies, ma'am?” the ranger seemed to question her sanity.

“I was giving her a driving lesson,” Liam spoke before she could make herself sound any crazier. “Sorry, we didn't know this road was off limits.”

“Well, it is. Off limits to driving lessons, and off limits to make-out sessions. Neither of you are teenagers, you should know better,” the officer scolded them. Ayumi blushed even more, but Liam just laughed.

“Sir, if you're not making out with your partner like you're still teenagers, then I feel sorry for you. I can't keep my hands off her,” he said, then squeezed various parts of her body to drive his point home.

The ranger glared at them for a moment, and Liam could feel Ayumi hold her breath. Then the other man chuckled and took off his glasses altogether.

“That's an excellent point, young man,” he said, and Ayumi had to cover a laugh with a fake cough. “I get it, I really do. But don't do it on government property, okay? Why don't you continue this 'driving lesson' elsewhere.”

“Will do, officer.”

The man stared at them until Ayumi started sliding off Liam's lap. She got her foot caught in the steering wheel at one point and her giggle fit almost started again, but Liam got her loose and soon enough he was saluting at the ranger as they pulled away.

“Oh my god,” Ayumi breathed as she pressed her face into her hands. “That was so embarrassing.”

“Why?” Liam laughed. “Why do you care so much what people think?”

“I don't, not really, I just ... making out like teenagers!? What if we had gotten arrested?”

“I guess we'd have to call good ol' Wulfy to bail us out.”

“Don't even joke about that,” she groaned. Liam lost his smile and glanced over at her.

“Still ashamed of me?” he asked. She glanced back.

“When it comes to Wulf – yes. I don't think he likes you very much.”

Liam barked out a sharp laugh.

“I think that's putting it nicely.”

The drove in silence for a while, making their way back to the real road, and then out of the park altogether. It was a perfect California day – sun was shining, it wasn't too hot, hardly any other cars on the road. He sighed deeply, breathing in the perfection of it all.

“We should stop in Santa Barbara.”

“Huh?” Liam grunted, glancing over at her. Ayumi had her bent so she could stare down at her phone.

“You said you didn't care where we went next,” she pointed out. “You said, and I quote 'follow the sun, stop where we want', so I'm throwing out a suggestion.”

“Okay. Okay, yeah, Barbara's got some great surf breaks, actually. Good idea,” he said, kinda surprised she would think of the place.

“Actually, I thought of it because it has some great wineries,” she corrected him. He grimaced.

“Wineries?”

“Yeah. We did your thing, can't we do something I like?”

“Well, I mean, it's my road trip, technically.”

“You run a bar, you like to drink, maybe you'll find some new wine for the bar upstairs,” she pointed out, twisting in her seat to face him.

“I like to drink whiskey,” he said. “Or vodka. And I think the only bottle of wine we have upstairs is the same one I got as a free promo two years ago. I'm not a wine dude, Ayumi.”

“Please, Liam?” she raised her voice and clasped her hands together. “I promise I'll make it fun. Please, please, plase?”

He had a weakness for begging, and when he looked over at her, he was completely done for. She was kneeling on her seat and she'd shoved her glasses up on top of her head. She had her full lips shoved out in a pout, and her dark eyes were opened wide. She blinked her long lashes at him and he groaned.

How could she ever, for one minute, believe she's not perfect?

“Only if you really promise funness,” he warned her, and she clapped her hands together. “I am all about the fun, got it?”

“Funness isn't a word,” she said, falling back into her seat properly. “And you will have a blast. I love wine tastings, it'll be great.”

*

FOUR HOURS LATER, AND things were not great, nor were they even remotely close to fun.

Liam was standing in a corner, holding a glass of wine in one hand, and yanking at the tie he was wearing with his other hand. A fucking tie. He hated ties, couldn't even remember the last time he'd worn one. The wedding, with Katya? Like three or four months ago?

After they'd gotten into Santa Barbara and checked into a motel close to the beach, he had thought he'd at least have a couple hours to hit the waves. Ayumi, though, had other plans, and he'd been dragged to the nearest clothing store.

“Why?”

“Because you dress like a frat boy.”

“And how is that a problem?”

“You're thirty-two.”

“And I'll be thirty-three in February. Again – why is that a problem?”

Apparently, t-shirts and jeans were “unacceptable” to wear to a wine tasting with someone like Ayumi Nakada. Liam refused to budge on the jeans, but he eventually caved and consented to wearing a button down shirt. He hadn't known about the tie till they'd gotten to the first winery. He'd tried to resist, but for being so much smaller than him, she was surprisingly strong, and also very good at tying a Windsor knot.

He didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit. Being surrounded by a bunch of pretentious people who were all pretending to know more about wine than they actually did, and being forced to act like he was one of them. Ayumi had stuck close to his side at the first winery, talking over him so she could show off her own knowledge about tannins and bodies and aeration.

Who is this chick, and why did I think we had anything in common?

That was the worst part of it all. During the past couple days, Liam had felt like he'd been getting to know the real Ayumi. She could be playful, and silly. Sexy as all get out, and even kind of down to earth. He'd forgotten that her natural state of being was assistant-to-the-devil-Ayumi – all tension and suits and blank expressions.

They were now at their third winery and Liam watched her from across the room. At their second stop, he'd embarrassed her by putting ice in his pinot grigio. Of course Liam knew that wasn't how white wine was supposed to be served, but he was annoyed. He'd wanted to embarrass her. If she wanted him to be this type of guy, he would show her just how much he wasn't.

It made him mad. He'd never asked her to be something she wasn't, not really. He'd asked her to like herself. To have fun. That was it. If she hadn't wanted to go to the beach, if she hadn't wanted a driving lesson, he wouldn't have forced her, and he sure as shit wouldn't have made her feel bad about it. Made her feel stupid, or worthless.

Wouldn't have made her feel the one way he knew she couldn't stand.

She was avoiding him. They had barely spoken on the drive to the current spot, and after a small tour that ended in the wine tasting room, she'd attached herself to a group of people in suits. She fit right in, wearing her patterned tights and smart black booties, a flowy blouse tucked into a fancy looking skirt. Her gorgeous thick hair had been scraped up into a tight, high ponytail. She looked like she'd been carved out of ice.

She looks perfect.

Liam chugged the rest of his glass and narrowed his eyes as one of the suits touched her on the arm. He wasn't prone to jealousy, usually, but he was already in a bad mood. Plus, the dude had seen Ayumi come in with another man – it was disrespectful, regardless of where Liam was standing. And on top of that, it was rude of her. Sure, they had their stupid “deal” and they weren't supposed to be attached, but she wouldn't appreciate it if he went and flirted with the bachelorette party across the room.

Or maybe she wouldn't care. She was the ice queen, after all. She had created the deal, she had invented the rules. Maybe that's why she was trying to class him up – so she could be seen in public with him. Maybe that's why she was flirting with some stuffed shirt – because she didn't care about him.

Well, then, if that's how this works ...

“Okay, so whose twenty-first birthday is it?” Liam asked in a loud voice as he joined the bachelorette party. All the women tittered – the youngest among them was maybe his age, with most of them easily over forty.

“Did one of you order a stripper?” a woman with pixie cut asked, and there was more laughter.

“Stripper?” he gasped, pressing a hand to his chest. “Madam, I am offended. Clearly, I'm much better looking than some lowly stripper.”

“That is an excellent point,” the girl wearing the bride-to-be sash agreed.

“Damn straight it is. So – who ordered the gigolo?”

More laughter.

Flirting came naturally and easily to Liam. He fit right in with the rowdy group of women, especially after he talked to the winery owner and discovered they had an aged whiskey they made on site. A bottle was produced and shots were passed around, much to everyone's delight.

And throughout it all, he was very aware of Ayumi not paying attention to him. She was so studiously avoiding looking at him that it was almost comical. But he knew her. No matter what she wanted to think or how she wanted to behave, Liam knew her. They were cut from the same cloth. He watched as her smile got tighter and her posture grew straighter, and it all made him laugh harder and flirt more outlandishly.

“Okay, so when is the wedding?” he asked, pouring another round of shots.

“Two weeks,” bride-to-be answered.

“Perfect.”

“What do you mean?”

“Plenty of time to run away and have a hot, nasty affair,” he replied, winking at her.

“You are so bad, Eden,” she giggled.

There was a scraping sound near them and he glanced to the side without moving his head. Ayumi had been sitting at a nearby table and she'd abruptly stood up. The women at his table had gotten pretty loud, he couldn't hear what she was saying, but she seemed to be making some kind of excuses. The stuffed shirt who'd touched her earlier stood up, as well. She waved him away at first, but he came around the table and cupped her elbow. She started walking and he went with her, with no more waving of any kind.

Liam smiled at his group of new friends.

“Bad? How can I be bad? I'm named after the garden of earthly delights,” he said. “Will you ladies excuse me, for a moment? Don't drink all the whiskey while I'm gone. You know what, fuck it. Finish the bottle, just don't start the strip poker without me.”

Their laughter followed him as he headed towards the back of the room.

The bathrooms were near the back exit. Mr. Suit was hovering outside the door to the ladies room. Liam stood next to him for a moment, glancing between the man and the door.

“You waiting your turn, bro?” he asked, gesturing to the doorway. The guy looked confused.

“What? Uh, no, I'm waiting for a friend, she wasn't feel well,” he replied. Liam laughed.

“Oh, I'm sure she isn't.”

Then he walked through the door, earning a shout from the dude. Ayumi had been bent over a sink and she glanced at him, then stood up in surprise.

“What are you doing?” she hissed, glancing back at the stalls, making sure no one else was in there.

“Checking on you. Rapey McSuit is lurking out there,” he explained. “Said you were feeling sick. Too many tannins in your cab franc?”

“Shut up,” she grumbled, going back to the sink and putting her hands under the water.

“So what's the deal? Wanna invite him back to the room tonight?” he asked. She laughed and shook her head.

“Are you seriously jealous right now? You've got an entire harem out there, just waiting for you tell them what hotel you're staying at,” she pointed out, patting the cold water on her cheeks.

“Sounds like someone else is jealous.”

“I am not -”

“Hey!” their friend yelled through the door. “Are you alright in there, Ayumi?”

“Ayumi?” Liam mouthed her name at her. She threw a wadded up paper towel at him.

“I'm fine!” she called back.

“A strange man went in there – is he bothering you?”

“He's definitely strange,” she yelled, glaring at Liam. “But he's not bothering me. Yet.”

“Got that right,” Liam snorted, leaning his hip against a sink. “What the fuck is going on?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I'm talking about, Ice Queen.”

She bristled at her nickname.

“You obviously aren't having a good time – I don't want you to ruin my time, too,” she said.

“So that's why you're flirtying with Shirty McShirt?” he asked.

“I wasn't flirting,” she corrected him. “And his name is Craig.”

“I don't give two shits what his name is,” Liam informed her. “And you were flirting.”

“So were you.”

“Only because you were.”

“This is so stupid!” she snapped. “I wasn't flirting with him, but even if I was, it doesn't matter. I can flirt with whoever I want. So can you, obviously.”

“This is hilarious, Ice Queen. Even as you're proclaiming your single lady status, you're making digs at me for doing the same thing,” he guffawed.

“This conversation is done. I knew we shouldn't have slept together, I knew it was a mistake,” she hissed before pushing past him and stomping out of the bathroom.

Liam's blood hit boil in an instant and he hurried after her. She was just about to arrive back at her table full of new friends, but he didn't give her a chance to sit down, or to say goodbye. He simply put his hand on the small of her back and gently propelled her forward. She couldn't stop, not without making some sort of scene, so she kept moving. His table of bachelorettes hooted and hollered for him, but he ignored them and pushed Ayumi right out the front door.

“I'm sorry, could you repeat what you just said?” he asked in a low voice. She tried to plant her feet, but he just grabbed onto her arm and forced her the rest of the way to the car.

“You can't just ... just ... manhandle me!” she snapped at him, but when he opened her door, she dropped into her seat.

“Sweetheart,” he sighed, taking off his tie as he walked around the vehicle and got behind the wheel. “I have a feeling you've never been manhandled.”

“Damn right, I haven't! Who do you think you are!?” she demanded. He turned on the engine and glanced at her.

“I think I'm the guy controlling exactly where you're going and where you're sleeping tonight,” he replied, then he peeled out of the parking spot, tossing his tie into the wind.

“I paid for that!” she shouted, twisting to look behind her. The scrap of fabric was lost in the darkness.

“I'll pay you back.”

“You're being stupid.”

“You're being stupid.”

“This is basically kidnapping.”

“Okay, now seriously, that was actually stupid.”

“What is wrong with you?” she yelled. “I went to your family's house, I went to dinner, I met everyone. I went to the beach, I watched you surf, I let you throw me in the water. All those things, and you couldn't do what I want for one evening?”

“Jesus, I feel like we're dating,” he groaned, rubbing at his eyes.

“Hey, watch the road!” she snapped, punching him in the arm.

“The difference between what I wanted to do, and what you wanted to do, is that I didn't want to change you,” he tried to explain. “Ayumi, you just tried to dress me up like a doll and then treated me like your stupid step-child. What the fuck was that?”

“Are you joking? You made me go swimming, and I don't like the water. You made me drive this car, and I can't drive stick shift. How is what I did any different?” she asked.

“My things were fun, and were things you actually did want to do, and I didn't require you to change how you looked, spoke, and behaved.”

That shut her up for a moment.

“I wasn't trying to change you,” she finally said. “I was just trying to ... help you be a grown up. For once.”

That did it. He was over her bullshit. He veered off the road, startling a shriek out of her. They had been on the outskirts of town and he drove them down a dark, bumpy path, pushing them towards the San Marcos Foothills. Ayumi was gripping on to the door handle, holding on for dear life, but he didn't care. He kept his foot down on the gas till he saw what looked like an old service road, or logging road. Something rarely used. He cranked the wheel hard and inertia sent her careening across the seat, sliding into his side.

“Are you insane!?” she shouted over the engine and the wind. To answer her, he slammed on the brakes. The car slid a good fifteen feet and she was forced to put her hands against the dashboard to brace herself.

“Fucking possibly,” he shouted back, turning the car off but leaving the lights on. “I actually thought you could be a human fucking being.”

She gasped, “what's that supposed to mean?”

“It means, Ice Queen, exactly what it sounds like it means,” he replied. “How would you fucking like it if I told you that you were a big mistake? If I told you the way you dress, the way you act, isn't good enough? After everything that went on between us the other day – or hell, this past whole fucking week – you think it's okay to talk to me like that? No wonder you don't have any fucking friends.”

She recoiled as if he'd threatened to hit her, pressing her back to the car door. She stared at him for a second, her gorgeous eyes opened wide, her red lips slightly parted. Then, much to his horror – and hers, if her face was anything to go by – she started to tear up. She blinked rapidly, then jerked around in her seat, scrambling to open her door and almost falling in her rush to get out of the car.

“Ayumi,” he groaned, letting his head drop back for a second before climbing out after her. “Where are you going?”

“Home!” she shouted, speed walking away from him. He jogged up to her and blocked her path.

“What, you gonna walk all the way back to Santa Barbara?”

“No.”

“Didn't think so.”

“I'm going to walk all the back to San Francisco,” she added, marching around him. He started laughing at her.

“Stop it, you're being ridiculous. Get back in the car -”

He choked on his words as she let out a shriek and went down hard to the side. She completely disappeared from view and for a moment he wondered if she'd stepped into a black hole. Then he ran over and saw her floundering in a shallow ditch.

“Jesus, that hurt,” she groaned when he squatted down next to her.

“Are you okay? What happened?” he asked, helping her to roll onto her butt.

“I'm fine, don't worry about me,” she snapped, bending her left leg so she could rub at her ankle.

“You're clearly not fine. Let me see it,” he said, trying to pull her leg closer while he took off her shoe.

“Stop it, I don't need your help.”

“Yes, you do, so just shut up and let me help.”

“You can't see anything, I'm wearing tights and -” she fell silent when he ripped a hole in the material and simply pulled it away from her ankle. “Why do you do that? Do you know who much these cost?”

“No, and I don't care,” he replied, holding her leg up higher so he could use the tail lights to get a good look. “Looks okay. Does this hurt?”

He tapped his fingers over her flesh and watched her face. She was fine on the top of her foot and around her achilles tendon, but when he ran his hand just under the side of her ankle joint, she hissed and yanked her leg away.

“What, because your twin is a doctor, you think you're one? Just go away,” she bitched, struggling to pull herself upright.

“Did you seriously just fucking say that to me?” he asked, standing upright. When she almost toppled over, he didn't even try to help her.

“Did I stutter?” she said, limping her way up the side of the ditch. “I don't need your help. Clearly, I don't need anyone, seeing as how I'm just some lame friendless loser to you.”

“Hurts when someone says fucked up shit about you, doesn't it?” he snapped, following her back to the car. “The only difference is, I said something true. You said something just to be a bitch.”

“Are you seriously calling me names while I'm injured?”

“What the fuck is going on, Ayumi? I thought we were having a good time. I was obeying all your stupid fucking rules, you seemed okay, I was okay. Why are you making me play dress up and make friends with people we don't know?” he asked, folding his arms across his chest and staring down at her as she sat on the back of the trunk.

“I wasn't trying to do that,” she insisted, bending in half so she could rub at her injured leg. “Look. I only know how to be this way, okay? I'm sorry if that bothers you. I'm sorry if suits and wine tastings aren't your thing. Maybe they're not even mine, but they're all I know, they're what I'm used to, they make me feel like an adult. I thought maybe you'd like to feel like an adult, too. I'm sorry, Liam, but I'm not gonna change into some happy, peppy, silly girl over night. I'm not Katya.”

Rage washed over him and he moved so he could loom over her.

“What the fuck is it with all you people!?” he shouted, startling her. “I own a fucking business. I own real estate. I pay my fucking taxes, I donate to charity – christ, I even pay my bills on time! I'm this big fucking joke to all of you, yet who is the person carrying drunk people up stairs? Who is the person giving Tori a promotion so she can afford to keep her apartment? Who is the person keeping his junkie brother out of prison? Who is the person taking care of all of you!? When will I ever be adult enough for you assholes!?”

“Oh, give it a rest and spare me the sob story!” she yelled back. “You whine and bitch about your family – wanna try living with mine? You know what your problem is, Liam? You don't have any problems, so you have to make shit up. That's why you act the way you do, that's why you chase after girls like Katya.”

“You keep bringing her up – jealous?” he asked in a snide voice. She shook her head.

“No, I'm embarrassed for her.”

“You're being a fucking bitch,” he spit out at her. That seemed to stun her for a second, then she shook it off.

“I never pretended I wasn't one.”

“No, you're pretending right now,” he pointed out. “This isn't you. That chick in the ocean? Driving my car? The one with the scar? That's the real you. This bitch is just the mask you put on to keep everyone away. Why are you pushing me away? Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with you!?”

And what's wrong with me that I'm still here trying?

*

AYUMI WASN'T QUITE sure when the night had started to go so badly. Possibly when she'd gotten jealous of him flirting with Team Coed. Or maybe when she'd made fun of him for putting ice in his wine, in front of a group of strangers. Or possibly when she'd forced him to change his clothes and brush his hair. Though if she was honest with herself, it was when she'd come up with the stupid idea to go wine tasting.

I liked his hair messy. I liked his cheap vodka. I loved watching him surf. He's right – what the fuck is wrong with me?

She was scared. That was the problem. She'd enjoyed their driving lesson, and if that ranger hadn't happened along, she would've had outdoor sex for the first time in her life. That wasn't who she was, though, Ayumi didn't do things like that – what was going on?

It was that little voice whispering in the back of her head, over and over again, “but with me, he means it”. It was driving her crazy. She was railing against it, fighting, clawing.

He did not mean it. Any of it. Nothing he said. Not one word. He'd said all those things to Katya (and who knew who else) and they'd all been lies. They were all lies with Ayumi, they had to be, she refused to ever think of herself as special. She certainly couldn't be special to a man like him, a man who enjoyed life and smiles and a carefree existence, all the things that were her very antithesis.

And beyond that, the way she was feeling was against her rules. She refused to get attached to any man, and especially that man. She shouldn't have come on the trip, and she really shouldn't have slept with him again. It just confused everything. She couldn't possibly, really, have any feelings for him. They were night and day. Polar opposites. She didn't like him, not one little bit, so she'd made him dress ridiculous and she'd treated him poorly, just to remind herself of that fact. Just to remind him, too.

“You don't get to talk to me like this,” she said in a steely voice. “I'm not your girlfriend, I'm not your wife, I'm not your property. I'm nothing.”

“Don't say that,” he snapped, slashing his arm between them. “Don't act like you have any fucking clue what I'm thinking.”

“I know exactly what you're thinking,” she snapped right back. “You're thinking you got a nice piece of ass, and the cherry on top is getting me to like you so you can feel good about yourself! I'm not your therapy dog, Liam! I'm not here for you to use so you can feel better about what a shitty person you are! I'M NOT KATYA!”

Well.

She wasn't sure where that had all come from – Ayumi was very skilled in bottling her emotions. In keep them to herself. She never lashed out, she never showed her true feelings. Hence her little arrangements. Hence her rules.

Looking at Liam right then, though, it had broken something in her. The red tail lights casting a harsh glow on his face, highlighting his angry brow. His clenched jaw. His tense mouth. A mouth she knew could smile oh so well while it told such very pretty lies.

I don't want it to be about Katya. Or other girls. Or some arrangement. Or controlling him. I want it to be about me and him. I want him to smile at me, and to know it's for real.

“Are you fucking shitting me!?” he roared, his voice echoing off into the woods around them, startling her a little. She'd never seen Liam so angry, hadn't known it was possible. “This isn't about me being a shitty person, or Katya or anything that happened with her. If those things were a fucking problem, you and I never would've gotten started. You know what this is about? This is about you being a goddamn control freak who has completely lost control, and you just want to blame someone. You wanna talk about being an adult? Take some fucking personal responsibility.”

I think to lose control, I'd first have to have control, and I'm beginning to realize that when it comes to Liam Edenhoff, I was never even close to having any kind of control.

“This has to be a fucking joke,” she said, managing to keep her voice strong even as the tears she'd been struggling with finally spilled down her cheeks. “The class clown talking to me about being an adult – the man who needs random women to validate his existence.”

For a moment, she thought he was going to lose it. The rage that washed over her face when she called him that name, it was intense. She'd hit a nerve. She wouldn't be surprised if he took off, just left her there in the woods. He looked like he was contemplating it.

I'd deserve it.

He didn't leave, though. Instead, there was a long, heavy silence. She glared up at him, refusing to be embarrassed by the tears she couldn't seem to stop. He stared right back down at her, not breaking eye contact once. Finally, he took a deep breath and stepped even closer to her.

“Now you're just trying to hurt,” he said in a soft voice, which shocked her even more than if he'd yelled. “Something I would never do. I know this isn't you, Ayumi. I know. So fine. If you think I'm the class clown, fine. If you want to believe that I need all these other women to function, then fine. You can think all those things. But I know you're not really a heartless ice queen, no matter how much you try to hurt me.”

His words. If she'd been broken earlier, now he'd just shattered her. Scattered her to the wind, to the forest floor. She wasn't the person she loathed anymore, not the body she hated. She was just Ayumi, standing in front of Liam. She gasped on a sob and dropped her face into her hands.

“I don't want to believe it!” she shouted. “I hate thinking it. So many girls, so many people. I hate it. You say all these amazing things to me, and I want to believe them so badly, but I can't. I just can't. No one says those things to me, no one thinks those thoughts about me. I know you, too, and you lie. I can't ... I won't ... you can't lie to me. Don't lie to me. I'm not those other girls, I don't want to be like those other girls. I hate those other girls.”

She was sobbing hard by the end, unable to breathe. Her legs started to crumple and she slid off the trunk, but before she could completely fall, she felt his hands grabbing her. Forcing her back up against the car, then prying at her own hands, pulling them away from her head.

“Stop,” he breathed, his lips near her temple. “Please, Ayumi. Stop. I haven't even looked at anyone else since our first time together. It's just you and me, right now, in this moment. No one else.”

She cried harder as he cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to look up at him.

“But I don't want this,” she was gasping for air. “You have lots of these moments, with lots of girls. I never get to have any just for me, with anybody.”

He smiled sadly at her for a second, then he gently swiped his thumbs under her eyes, wiping away tears.

“Don't you get it yet?” he whispered. “The moments when I'm with you, there are no other girls. No one else exists. You're it. You are the moment.”

She let out a deep shuddering breath, and if she'd been given a chance to take one back in, the moment would have passed. She would've argued with him. Said something else. Not believed him. Not gotten caught up in the moment.

But he did know her. In the short amount of time they'd spent together, Liam had grown to know her almost better than she knew herself. He knew she would ruin everything, and knew she didn't really want that, so he stopped the moment in its tracks. He leaned down and kissed her.

She stayed completely motionless, still afraid of him. Afraid of herself. Too frightened to trust her feelings, and too scared to believe in him.

But when he pressed his entire length against her, she couldn't stand it. Liam was a natural furnace, he seemed to just run hotter than most people. His warmth enveloped her and surrounded her and she simply couldn't deny it anymore.

But with me, he means it.

She gasped against his mouth, then kissed him back. Seemed to stun him a little when she raked her nails up his chest, but he didn't stop. His tongue darted between her lips, causing a tremor to shake her body, then he was pulling away.

“You're angry,” he breathed, dropping his hands to her hips.

“I was,” she agreed.

“I don't want to do something you're going to regret tomorrow,” he said slowly.

Ayumi let her eyes fall shut for a moment. Took several deep breaths. Then she opened her eyes and stared straight up at him.

“I could never regret you, Liam,” she whispered. “I'm so sorry ... I'm sorry I try to ruin things. You're wonderful and I'm ... I'm broken. I don't want to break you, too. I don't deserve you.”

What he did next wasn't so much a kiss as it was a perfect swan dive onto her mouth. They both groaned and he leaned all his weight into her, forcing her hard against the car. Both their hands were everywhere, tugging and pulling at clothing, smoothing over flesh, scratching over skin.

“You deserve so much more than you realize,” he panted against her as he kissed along her jawline. “Why did you try to ruin it?”

“I was scared of you, and I was mad at myself,” she replied, quickly undoing all the buttons on the awful shirt she'd made him wear.

“And you took it out on me,” he finished for her, then he made her squeal when he dug ins fingers harshly into her hips. “I didn't appreciate it.”

“I know. I'm sorry,” she replied, pushing and shoving the material down his arms, then watching as it fluttered to the ground.

“God, I don't think I've ever been that angry,” he growled, and she gasped when her own shirt had all the buttons ripped off it in one neat jerk.

“I didn't know I could make you feel so strongly,” she replied, letting her shirt join his on the forest floor.

“You can,” he said, kissing her hard and fast before pulling away again. “Only you.”

It became almost frantic after he spoke. They moved and shifted around the side of the car while peeling off more clothing. Ayumi's skirt and shoes wound up in a pile by the back tire right before she knelt on the backseat. Liam's undershirt landed on the trunk, and he stepped out of his pants as he climbed into the car right beside her.

It was a big car, but Liam was a big guy. All arms and legs; a minivan would've been too cramped for him. Ayumi fell onto her back at first, helping him to pull away her hosiery and underwear. Then she quickly sat up and pressed him into the seat.

“You are done wearing these,” he informed her, holding up the ball of black nylon before chucking it into the darkness. She shook her head and moved to straddled his lap.

“But I always wear them because ...” she started, but her voice trailed off at the same time his fingers started traveling up the length of her scar.

“I said done,” he repeated himself. As his fingers reached the apex of her legs, she managed to nod.

“No more tights,” she managed to squeak out as his index finger sawed back and forth.

“I don't want you to ever hide any part of yourself from me, understood?”

The finger went from sawing to plunging and she groaned, hooking her fingernails into the tops of his shoulders. She'd never seen Liam like that before, so commanding. So forceful. Normally, he fell somewhere between silly and sweet, even when it came to having sex. Now, she felt like she was meeting a whole other side of him. The deviant owner-slash-regular-user of a sex club was making an appearance.

Very pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr. Edenhoff.

“I understand,” she managed to say as a second finger joined the first. His other hand squeezed her hip, encouraging her to move and ride against his hand.

“You're so goddamn beautiful,” he said through clenched teeth. “And you have no fucking clue.”

“No,” she agreed, dropping her forehead to his. “But I have you to tell me.”

“Yes.”

The hand on her hip moved, quickly sliding up her back and into her hair. She gasped, then whined, as he roughly pulled her ponytail out of its holder. Her thick, black hair fell down, becoming a curtain between them and the great outdoors.

“I'm about to turn you into a very bad girl, Ms. Nakada,” he whispered, his hand moving away from her body and down to his own.

“I think you already have, Mr. Edenhoff,” she whispered back, her hand joining his at the base of his dick.

They both held onto him as she lowered herself her his shaft. Every time it was like the first time. She just couldn't keep his sheer force and power and energy in her memory. She gulped on air as she tried to take his entire length, and then when she finally did, she could only sit still. He was so large and so hard, she couldn't even breathe. Couldn't even think.

“I think you don't know what you've gotten yourself into,” he murmured as he dragged her hand up his body. Once he got to his mouth, he nipped at her fingertips.

“You ... you're right,” she panted, her whole body starting to shake. “I have no fucking clue.”

He held onto her waist with both his hands and held her still while he pumped his hips up against her. She shrieked with each thrust, with each time he bottomed out inside her. She fell back from him, leaning against the seat in front of them, using it as leverage. She started jerking her hips in time to his thrusts, matching him step for step.

“So fucking beautiful,” he sighed, finally slowing down and running his hand up the center of her body. “But still oh so tense.”

“Because you're too much for me,” she struggled to breathe.

What little air she had was then forced out of her lungs when he gripped her by the waist and swung her around. There was some grunting and struggling, but he eventually got them turned completely around, then she shoved her up and out of the seat. He laid her out flat over the trunk, scraping his teeth roughly over her clavicle.

“I seriously doubt any man is enough for you,” he chuckled, finally pulling her bra away from her body and tossing it into the backseat.

“I find that laughable coming from someone like you.”

She groaned when his hands came down on her breasts, squeezing them hard and pushing them together. Then he leaned down and clamped his teeth around a nipple for a second, causing her to cry out.

“Careful, or I'll teach that sassy mouth of yours a lesson,” he warned her.

He didn't give her a chance to earn her lesson, though. Just started pounding into her. She cried out into the darkness, let her passion bounce of the trees and the rocks and the leaves. His whole body came down on top of her, pinning her to the cool metal of the car.

“Liam, please,” she was whimpering. Actually whimpering. “Please, I'm so close.”

“You sound the absolute fucking best when you beg,” he groaned, increasing the pressure of his hips as he slammed against her.

“No one has ever made me beg before,” she confessed, rotating her hips against him. “Only you. Only you make me feel this way.”

“Fuck,” he swore, every muscle in his body starting to tense up. “That's even hotter than begging.”

“What?” she managed to ask as her mind started unraveling.

“You losing control. Knowing I make you lose control,” he breathed, and she moaned as he placed a long, slow lick up the side of her neck. She turned her head to the meet him as he reached her face. Wanted to tell him he was the only man she'd ever wanted to give all control to, the only person who had ever made her lose control.

But before she could speak, he was kissing her. He startled her with his intensity, which was really saying something. His tongue filled her mouth, swirling and thrust. His lips moved against hers, pressing and massaging. And then when he bit down on her bottom lip hard enough to make her shriek, he broke what little control she had left.

“Oh my god!”

Fuck Santa Barbara – she was pretty sure people in L.A. were now aware that she was coming. She coiled around him and curled into him, pressing her face against his chest while she sobbed and shook. He let out a growl when she dragged her nails down the sides of his arms, then he was coming, too. So hard and for so long, he left her with no doubts whatsoever that this really and truly was a moment made only for them.

After what felt like forever and multiple shock waves later, he laid down gently on top of her. She was struggling to breathe, and she could feel his own pants against the side of her face. Once again, even with her eyes closed, she just knew he was smiling at her, so she tilted her head to the side and smiled back.

“Ah, see?” he sighed. “There she is.”

“Still me,” she replied. Then his hand was against the side of her face and she opened her eyes.

“No. That chick got thrown out of the car with that stupid tie and those stupid tights. This is the girl with the scar, and she's so goddamn beautiful, she stops my heart,” he whispered. Ayumi smiled at him, then reached out and smoothed her hand through his hair.

“Maybe,” she agreed. “But she's still not half as beautiful as you.”