I didn’t remember how it ended.

One second, I was strapped into the contraption, weeping freely and begging for mercy… and the next I woke up in my cloud-like bed with the duvets and pillows piled high around me. I vaguely remembered Pia forcing two pills between my lips and how dry they made my mouth feel. She’d said one was a sleeping pill, and the other was the morning after pill. I must have slept restlessly, and if it hadn’t been for the marks of the restraints around my ankles and wrists I would think I’d imagined losing my virginity.

First, I inspected the ridges left over on my skin, the imprints not hurting but definitely there, my skin lightly chafed and reddened from where they’d dug into me. And then I opened my legs, the nightie I was wearing riding up and revealing pink lace panties with a small red dot of blood on the fabric. It didn’t hurt, but it felt… different. I knew then that it hadn’t been a dream. I’d really been fucked, and I’d really enjoyed it.

It was too painful to remember what had happened afterward. I wondered whether I’d ever get used to someone changing my clothes while I slept, probably seeing me naked. It was an invasion of privacy I didn’t appreciate, but of course, I couldn’t voice my concern in the mansion. Anything I said would be dismissed by Ellis or Pia – and I’d likely be punished for so much as daring to ask the burning questions on my mind.

Still, I couldn’t shake the events of the previous day as I got out of bed and stretched my limbs. The first time I’d been fucked, the impossible connection I’d felt to Ellis when I felt him inside of me… It was something I wouldn’t be able to shake for quite a long time, and as much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn’t bring myself to do it as committedly as I had only the previous day. Now, there would always be that special connection, the first time that would bind us together for the rest of time.

I ate breakfast alone and felt too fearful to leave my room. Ellis arrived an hour after my meal, when I was sitting on the floor with my legs crossed and a book in my lap, my finger holding the pages open.

“What are you reading?”

My heart beat steadily as I raised my eyes to his. He was leaning on the bookshelf, handsome and rugged as always. I wanted to hate him, but the uncertainty in my body wouldn’t let me commit to the feeling fully. I wondered if he’d felt the same thing I had when he fucked me. I’d had no doubt about it before, but now that he was standing before me, he didn’t seem fazed in the slightest. What had changed? It made me feel inadequate about my own feelings, the need for that rush of lust threatening to swallow me whole.

“Cat got your tongue?”

He smirked, walking closer and sitting down on the floor next to me. He took the book out of my hands and snapped it shut so he could look at the cover.

“You’re going to lose my page,” I muttered, but he ignored me completely and rolled his eyes at the cover of the book, making me blush.

It was a romance novel. So what? Was I not allowed some escapism in this fucked-up prison he’d put me in? He was a fool if he thought I’d never hope for something more than these four walls.

“Did you enjoy last night?” he asked suddenly, and every single hair on my body stood up.

“You know I did,” I whispered, looking into his eyes.

I wanted to find something, anything there. A sign that he had felt it too, some kind of feeling of affection for me. I wanted it for selfish reasons, not because I wanted to use him to escape, but because I was desperate for him to acknowledge the connection between us from the previous night. I’d never felt it between us before, and from the first taste, I was addicted.

Yet Ellis didn’t show a hint of it. Instead, his vision became clouded and he smacked the book down on the floor.

“I want to talk to you,” he said. “I have something to show you, but I want to talk first.”

“Okay,” I said, doubt creeping into my voice. I hoped he hadn’t noticed it. “What about?”

“I want to know more about you,” he said. “You, the girl you used to be. Tell me about it.”

It was tempting, his offer. I was desperate to talk to someone about the girl I used to be, and when he offered to listen, I couldn’t resist. I started talking, about London, my London, Madame, Amber and Carina and all the other girls I had danced with. He listened to me with an expression of intense interest, and I realized I’d gone all the way back to my childhood, and I was talking about Mummy and Dad, all the memories flooding back.

“When I was a little girl,” I said softly. “I loved horses. We never had a lot of money. We couldn’t afford riding lessons… But Mummy went to one of the places that offered them. I don’t know how she did it. I was so young back then I never even asked… but she convinced them to let me come in every few days to pet the horses. It was my favorite pasttime. I went there so often. Even after Mummy got cancer… even though it was hard. When I moved out, when I left Dad, I went a couple of times. The horses weren’t the same ones, but it always made me feel so calm.”

I smiled fondly at the memory, and Ellis got up abruptly.

“Come with me,” he growled, holding out a hand for me.

I got up and took it. There were no sparks, no butterflies when I held his hand. Just a rush of fear through my veins as he forcibly pulled me out of the room, still only wearing the nightie and the stained panties. I felt self-conscious and shy as he dragged me down the hallway, his hand pulling on mine in a rough way that didn’t reveal any other feeling than anger aimed at me.

I heard the chatter of the other girls, this time soft and conspiratorial. The tension in the hall was palpable. My raven-haired friend wasn’t sitting in the bay window, in fact, she was nowhere to be seen. Ellis dragged me to the hall and pushed me to the center of the room. I stumbled, clumsily pulling down the scrap of fabric covering my naked body.

And then the door of the mansion opened wide.

I stared outside as if it was a mythical place, like I was standing on the verge of two worlds colliding – one step forward and I would be free.

I knew there was no way of me escaping, yet the fantasy felt too good to let go of it just yet. But then I saw people moving in, two large, broad-shouldered men blocking the sunlight from coming into the room as they walked inside. They were shielding something with their bodies, but I couldn’t see well because of the sunlight. They moved inside, and I watched with genuine curiosity as a girl stepped out from the shadows.

The second I realized who it was my stomach twisted into a thousand painful knots. I thought I would scream and fall to my knees, but instead, I just stood there uselessly, staring at the girl before me.

She was my age, and she wore a simple outfit like she always had when I’d known her, a plain blue dress with a small flower print and a pair of old sneakers. Her red hair was wild and beautiful, and I wanted to weep at the sight of her.

Amber.

He’d taken Amber.

I ran towards her, and judging by her easy but confused smile, I knew she didn’t know what she was in for yet. The hall went silent as the other girls welcomed our new arrival. Some covered up, others stopped what they were doing. It seemed as if all of us, with the exception of the cruel man behind me, knew this wasn’t right.

She didn’t belong there.

Before Amber could say a word, I turned towards Ellis and a look of pure hatred took over my face. I wanted to kill him, wipe that fucking smirk off his face the first second I could. I ran to him, my fists pummeling against his chest, not giving a shit whether I’d get punished for it. He needed to get it through his thick skull that this was fucking wrong, that he’d seriously messed up by taking her. She wasn’t like me. She was an innocent girl, unable to handle whatever he would’ve done to her.

“Take her back!” I screamed at him while everyone watched in utter silence, too stunned to speak. “You can’t do this! She doesn’t deserve this, she’s innocent! You need to take her the fuck back!”

“Watch your tongue,” Ellis said mockingly. “If she’s such an innocent little girl she probably shouldn’t hear you cursing.”

“Fuck you!” I snarled.

As if that was important right now.

She looked just like she had back at home in London, and her mere presence made me want to weep. She shouldn’t have been there, but neither should I. And all I wanted to do was hold her, take comfort in her embrace. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I needed to get her out of there and fast.

“Hi,” I whispered, and she hugged me easily, not knowing what she’d walked into.

“Hi!” she exclaimed with excitement. “I’m so happy to see you, Harlow!”

The world froze when she said my name. I waited for the blow to rain on her, for someone to correct her. But everyone else seemed as dismayed about her presence as I was. Everyone except for him.

“We were all so worried when you left,” she said. “Especially Madame… And Carina! But when we got notice of you coming here to study dancing in more depth we knew you did the right thing. God, it’s been months, hasn’t it?”

I nodded miserably. What else could I have said? I was relieved someone had fed her the fake story, but I didn’t know how long they’d let the illusion last. And the thought of being away from it all, from my life, for months at a time, made me depressed. Had it really been that long since I’d been taken? I couldn’t believe it.

“It has been amazing,” I somehow managed to reply, and she beamed at me brightly. “I’ve learned a lot.”

“I couldn’t believe my luck when they came to collect me,” she gushed. “No one could. I am so excited to start studying with you!”

I cringed at the thought.

“I’m sorry they woke you up for my arrival,” Amber grinned, motioning at my outfit. “I hope I haven’t disturbed you too much. You look…”

She gave me a once-over, seemingly surprised and at a loss for words on how to finish her sentence. I didn’t want her to. Instead, I pulled her in for another hug. She smelled of baby powder and violets like she always did. I’d missed that scent, and I’d missed her. I didn’t want her there, but I would do whatever it took to keep her safe and I would fucking kill Ellis later. I wasn’t going to let him get away with this.

“Come on, let’s find your room,” I told her gently, and she nodded with excitement. “Did you bring anything with you?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “My stuff’s with them…”

She motioned toward the guards curiously, but I steered her away, up the stairs. I didn’t want anyone’s attention on her. Somehow, my protective instincts kicked in. I wasn’t going to let her get hurt in any shape or form. Perhaps she was still blissfully unaware of the fact, but I knew neither of us was getting away anytime soon. Not unless my sleeping pill plan worked…

I hoped they didn’t have the same intentions with Amber as they’d had with me. Deep down, I knew I couldn’t stop them by myself… But judging by their looks, all of them seemed disturbed by her presence there. All of them except for Ellis, who rushed up the stairs after us and grabbed Amber’s forearm.

“Actually, her room’s in the other wing of the house,” he said with an easy smile. “She’ll be more comfortable there. I’ll show her to it now.”

“Can Harlow come?” Amber asked innocently, and my heart panged again.

I hadn’t heard my name from anyone but Ellis, and I craved to hear it again. Yet I was worried about her, convinced she’d get herself into trouble if she kept going like that. I waited anxiously for him to answer her. The truth of the matter was, I wouldn’t be going anywhere without Ellis’ approval.

“Of course she can come,” Ellis said with a laugh, but I could hear the edge in his voice.

I’d be punished for this later.

We left towards the east wing, and my heart pounded as we put some distance between the other girls and ourselves. On an instinct, I took Amber’s hand and squeezed it tightly with mine. She returned the squeeze and gave me a surprised little smile. There was no time to explain. Soon, she would know, and then there would be no escaping. Not even the dream of it.