For days, I didn’t leave my bed.

I couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened in that room with the man I only knew as Sir. What he’d forced me to do, and how he’d made me enjoy it, too. I wanted to hate him for it, yet it seemed almost impossible to blame him for how my body had responded. Guilt and shame threatened to swallow me up whole as the mute maid led me back to my room that night.

I’d been told by the man I was allowed to leave my room, spend some time with the other girls and get to know everyone. But after what he’d done to me, I found myself unwilling to venture outside again. For the first time since I’d been taken, I felt broken, useless. Like I would never get the drive back, the desire to run away from their perverted empire and to live a life of my own again.

Flashes of memories of that day still took over my mind at the most random moments. Him, forcing his cock into my mouth and making me swallow his cum. Stroking my hair as he jerked off into my mouth, making me strip down for him and watching my body with hungry, wolf-like eyes that told me he wanted to do so much more to me. And I was afraid of it – afraid of him and what he was capable of, because I had a feeling this was just the tip of a terrible iceberg, and he had plenty more horrors to unleash on me.

It wasn’t that I felt sore or hurt. It was more the violation, what he’d done to my body when I was powerless to resist it. I hated him for it and for having control over me when every instinct in my body was fighting his touch, his caresses and the sweet nothings he whispered in my ear when he took my mouth like it had always belonged to him.

I thought about my previous life too often, torturing myself with images of my smiling friends. Carina and Amber, even Madame’s frown as she made me work harder. I thought about Mummy a lot. I never thought about my father. He’d written me off a long time ago.

On the fourth day of my self-imposed isolation, the door opened somewhere between lunch and dinner, and the woman I’d met a week ago walked in.

I turned my glassy eyes towards her. Part of me hated the fact that she was the one to come check up on me. Why not the man who had abused me? Shouldn’t he be the one to put the final nail in my coffin, after he’d used and then discarded my body like it was worth absolutely nothing? Yet I didn’t question it, didn’t say a word to Pia. I was too tired, weary from what seemed to be the new normal.

“Hello,” she said in her melodic, beautiful voice. “I heard you’ve been feeling a little under the weather.”

I didn’t respond, just looked at the floor while she pulled up the chair from my vanity and sat next to my bed.

“Somehow, with all this rest you’re getting, you still manage to look tired,” she sighed, and I opened my mouth to tell her to fuck off, but she interrupted me. “The first time is always hard. It’s not always pleasant. Many of the girls don’t consent. And I understand how confusing it is to actually like what’s being done to you.”

I hated that she was right, but instead of arguing with her about that, I chose another topic.

“How would you know?” I asked softly. “You have no idea what it’s like.”

“You don’t think I went through this?” she asked me.

She lifted her leg to show me the mark on her ankle. I’d seen the tattoo before when the maid had taken me through the main living area. All the other girls seemed to have it. The small black tattoo of a coiled snake on their ankle. I hated it. Hated the thought that I would probably be forced to get one, too.

“We share more than you might think,” Pia told me with a sweet smile. She was a different woman to the one I’d met a week ago. Softer, gentler. I realized she probably felt sorry for me, and I didn’t even try to win her respect back. I’d been beaten. She’d won, and so had the man who’d forced my first sexual encounter on me.

“I don’t want to be here,” I whispered. “I want my life back.”

She reached towards me, smoothing a lock of hair off my forehead. Her touch was cool and gentle, and I leaned against her hand, even though she seemed to be every bit the monster my captor had proved to be. But I was grateful then that it had been her to come and visit me, not him. I couldn’t handle him that day. The way he mocked me, how rough he was, how intent he was on making me into a mindless little toy. I was so close to breaking point.

“Have you been sleeping?” Pia asked me, and I shook my head no. Despite all the time I’d spent in my room, I had barely slept at all. I was turning into an insomniac, and the hours stretched into eternity as I lay on the bed, staring off into the distance and shamelessly hoping I would just die.

“I’m sorry,” Pia went on. “But I have something that might help you.”

She pulled out a little plastic orange bottle and placed it on my nightstand. There were three big white pills in it.

“They’re sleeping pills,” she explained. “Take one tonight and sleep it off, and I’ll be back tomorrow to check on you and make sure you’re alright. Does that sound okay?”

I didn’t respond, but my bottom lip trembled as she took out one of those enormous pills and a glass of water from my nightstand. She helped me sit up in bed and I downed the pill with the water she gave me. I didn’t want to, but she made me open my mouth and lift my tongue, so she could make sure I’d really swallowed it. I had other plans for the rest of the pills though. So far, they were the closest thing I had to a weapon inside my prison.

She gave me a smile again as I lay back on the bed. My eyelids were already getting heavy.

“See?” Pia asked. “You’re going to be asleep in no time, and you’ll be able to get some much-needed rest.”

Her words blurred together, and I had more and more trouble keeping my eyes open as she smoothed her fingers over my eyelids. Suddenly, I grew scared of what would happen to me while I was sleeping. What if they were planning something else? What if somebody was going to attack me while I slept, take advantage of my body like the man had?

I cried out in protest, but no sound came out. I was being pulled under, thrust into a sleep so heavy I couldn’t even feel Pia’s fingers on me anymore. I resisted the darkness, fighting it off, but it was inevitable. In seconds, I was fast asleep.

* * *

I woke up to complete darkness.

It must have been nighttime, and I felt disoriented and dazed, but at least I was in the same position I’d fallen asleep in. I was relieved when I realized nobody had moved me or touched me. Everything in the room looked the same, except the vanity chair which was back in its place, and the absence of Pia who must have left hours ago. I had no idea what time it was, but I got out of bed anyway and stretched my limbs.

Pia had been right. I’d really needed the sleep. But she didn’t know that sleeping wouldn’t make me more complacent. Instead, I was filled with a renewed desire to get the hell out of the mansion. I would fight harder than I ever had to put it all behind me, I’d just be sneakier about it. Nobody could know about my plans.

I shook the pills out of the bottle with my back to the camera and hid them in my underwear drawer, wrapping them up in a pair of stockings and pretending I was just changing into a new outfit. I stripped and gathered some clothes before heading into the bathroom. The shower felt pleasant against my tired skin, and I woke up fully under the hot spray beating down my back.

I washed my hair and lathered my body in bubbles. He hadn’t raped me, but he had fucked my mouth. It made me feel so dirty, and my tears mixed with the water running down my face. I promised myself I would have my revenge on the man who had forced this on me. The worst part was, he made me fucking enjoy it, the dampness between my legs growing with each thrust of his cock inside my throat. I’d never imagined it would feel like that. Fill me up, make me choke and make it hard to breathe when my throat desperately tried to swallow.

The worst part was, he had told me it was only the beginning of my training. I didn’t even want to imagine the rest of what he wanted to do to me.

Once I got out of the shower, it was light outside. I got dressed in the leggings from my closet, refusing to get dolled up for my captor. They were dark gray, and I paired them with a simple baby pink tank top.

Someone must have been monitoring the cameras, because there was already a breakfast trolley in my room. It made me feel like they were invading my privacy and I hated it.

I lifted the cloches on the plates and stared at the perfectly arranged Eggs Benedict, the freshly squeezed orange juice and the coffee with plenty of milk, just the way I liked it. How did they know that? I hadn’t told anyone… But I remembered the first time I got breakfast. They had brought black coffee with milk in a separate jug and sugar cubes on a plate. I glanced up at the cameras again. Somebody was definitely watching me. Was it the man who had raped my mouth? I had no way of knowing, but I knew he was the true enemy. So obsessed with everything I did, he kept tabs on me even in the privacy of my room.

After I was finished with breakfast, I did some stretching. It was the first time I’d done that since I’d been taken. But the desire to get the hell out of there was stronger than ever, and I knew I’d have to keep my strength up and keep my body ready if I wanted to go back to my career once I got out of there. There were no more what-ifs. There was only when. When I would get out of there. When I got my life back. When I would make them all pay for what they’d done to me.

I decided I needed to get a better look around the house once I was done with my meal. I would discover where it was, how far to the first neighbor. I needed to be prepared for my escape.

My door was unlocked, and the knob turned easily, which surprised me. I had been told I was free to roam the grounds, but I’d been too beaten up to do it before. Now was the perfect time to do some recon though, and I left the privacy of my room for the growing chatter of the hall as I approached the living area.

There were girls up already, even though it seemed to be early. A few less than last time. This time, they gave me curious looks as I entered the area where a cozy fire was burning, and bookshelves were stacked with reading materials. I stared back, unsure what else I was supposed to do. Were we supposed to talk to one another? Were we even allowed to do that?

I decided to stay on the safe side. I needed to be on my best behavior if I had any hope of convincing my kidnappers I was starting to accept my fate. Of course, I would keep the pretense up until I got my chance to run. I wasn’t going to look out for the rest of the girls. It was my chance to survive, my chance to get away.

They all seemed content with being prisoners, anyway. Most of them were dolled up, eyeing the guards that I’d shied away from like they wanted something from them. It made me sick to my stomach, and I averted my eyes when one of the men looked at me, his eyes drinking me in hungrily. I wasn’t sure what the protocol was. Was he allowed to hurt me, or was that only one man’s job? I knew I would soon find out.

I ignored the girls side-eyeing me and decided to sit in the bay window, so I could stare outside at the beach. But when I approached it, I saw another girl was already sitting in the window, her legs pulled up against her chest. She was so tiny I barely noticed her from the other side of the room. She was also completely naked.

Something told me to approach her, and I sat on the opposite side of the bay window she occupied. She stared straight ahead, seemingly not even noticing me joining her. The girl was painfully thin, bones protruding through paper-thin skin, and her eyes were glazed over, with large blue circles underneath them. She was beautiful. Her eyes spoke of the pain she’d been through, and she must have been a couple of years older than me. She had raven hair, beautiful light brown eyes and porcelain skin. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

“I see you’ve woken up.”

I looked up to find Pia standing in front of me, her smile warm and welcoming. She didn’t acknowledge the other girl.

“How long did I sleep?” I asked, my voice coming out raspy. I wondered how long it had been since I’d last spoken out loud.

“A day and a half, sweetheart,” Pia smiled easily. “That pill must have really knocked you out.”

I hated the thought of that. I’d lost another day and a half, then. Time I could have spent planning my escape. I hated Pia for forcing the pill on me, though I wasn’t about to tell her that.

“Come on,” she motioned for me to join her. “Let’s pick out a nicer outfit for you.”

Rage bubbled in the pit of my stomach, but I still stood up and joined her, my eyes lingering on the beautiful raven-haired girl.

“Is she okay?” I whispered to Pia, but she ignored me completely and led me back up the stairs, her palm firmly on the small of my back.

Once again, no answer to my question.

Once again, I was shown exactly who had the last word in this awful fucking place.