Noah

In the one hundred thirty-two hours and thirty-four minutes since I read the letter from my mother, I’ve had time to cool down. During the first twenty-four hours, I didn’t want to think about it. I wanted to push it so far from my mind that I could somehow forget that I had even been brought into this world by that person. The fakest smile was plastered on my face while I pretended I didn’t know the truth. Brazen saw right through me. Once he pushed me to face the reality, I broke down.

I tried to rationalize what she had done. I made excuses and searched for redemption where there wasn’t any. Brazen listened to me ramble on like a crazy woman. Then, I got pissed. There was so much venom running through my veins, I wanted to drive straight to Seattle and confront my mom right then and there. I wanted to out her. I wanted to look her in the eyes when I spoke my own truth. I wasn’t going to be a coward, writing things down in a letter. I wanted her to hear from my mouth what she’d done to me. Brazen calmed my hostile mood swing.

Then, I didn’t even want to get out of bed. Every thought was all-consuming. Every action was crippling. I cried until there weren’t any tears left. Brazen was my strength and helped me find the will to understand I was stronger than the words she had written to me.

My father abandoned me before I was even born, and I’m named after the man.

For life, I’m connected to a man I’ve never met and probably never will.

I wasn’t enough for my mother. I became a burden, one that held her back from life and love. I needed the essentials of life, but she only saw me as a way to fill a hole inside her. Does the man she holds so high on a pedestal really know the manipulative, narcissistic woman he married?

Denial. Bargaining. Anger. Depression.

Yet I haven’t completely reached acceptance.

Not of her, that woman who was supposed to be my mother.

But I have found recognition for what I feel in my heart for Brazen.

The last five days have been a roller coaster, but today is a new day, and as I knock on Brazen’s door, I am completely resolved in my plan. I smooth my dress and fiddle with my hair. He opens the door with a smile, and I struggle not to literally fall head over heels at the sight. What I feel for him is strong and seemingly not going anywhere. Our connection only gets mightier, and we become more interlinked with one another.

“Hi.” Even my voice sounds goofy.

“Hi,” he playfully mocks as he holds the door open for me.

“I have something for you,” I tell him.

“Oh, yeah? What is it?” He kisses my neck while I walk deeper into the house.

“Follow me, and I’ll show you.” I head for his bedroom with him hot on my heels and his lips still grazing my skin.

Brazen and I have gotten hot and heavy. We’ve made out until both of us were practically vibrating with sexual tension. I’ve touched myself in front of him, and I’ve had my hands on him, but very rarely does Brazen explore my body, which has made me almost desperate for his touch. I saw the way he reacted to my body in that art class, and I know how much he wants me, too.

I’m not asking for the gentleman anymore.

I’m asking, begging, demanding for the lover.

It’s time.

Three steps inside his bedroom, I reach down for the hem of my dress. The fabric tickles my skin as I pull the garment over my head and toss it to the floor. The cold air from the vent swooshes over my skin, contrasting the heat inside me. Brazen doesn’t take his sight off me for a single second, and it fills me with power. I want him to forever look at me as he is right now.

“I’m ready,” I tell him as I stand, stripped down to my bra and panties before him.

He looks up before he responds, “What are you saying? Ready for what?”

There must be something extremely interesting up there on the ceiling because he keeps his sight upward instead of returning his eyes to me. I advance toward him and gently place my hand on his jaw, tilting his face down to look at me. I need all of our connection right now.

“I’m ready for this, ready for us. Touch me, and let me touch you. I want to be with you. I need it.”

He bites his lip as I speak, and indecision courses through him. He searches for answers that I hope are written all over my face.

“I want to have sex, Brazen. Is that clear enough?”

I keep my head held high and my shoulders pushed back. I’ve never been more positive of anything in my life. I want Brazen—not because he was there for me this last week, but because I know he’ll always be what I need.

“Noah, there’s no rush.”

I’ve heard these words over and over again.

“I’m not rushing. Our timing couldn’t be more right. This couldn’t be more perfect.”

My declaration finally sinks into Brazen’s mind. The dam breaks within him, and his hands find me. His touch works its way over my flesh, sending little jolts of pleasure into my veins and leaving a trail of goose bumps across my skin. His bottom lip brushes against my neck as his hands clutch my thighs, and he hoists me up into his hold. With my hands around his neck and my legs around his waist, the view looking down at him is just as good as looking up. His strength as he holds on to me and carries me to the bed makes me feel safe.

“I would have waited forever for you to be ready, but, damn, does it feel good to hear you say you want me,” Brazen says as he shifts his body weight over me.

The sheets on my back feel like the finest linen I have ever laid on top of.

“It’s sweet that you would have waited forever, but I couldn’t hold back even an hour longer.”

He leans up, looking down at me with so much emotion, while the tips of his fingers skim from my collarbone down to my navel. My body arches, begging for more, and Brazen slips a hand behind my back and snaps my bra open. With care, he peels the straps down my arms before pulling the black cotton hindrance from my breasts, dropping kisses down my cleavage. His hands touch me roughly as his mouth is gentle. He dips lower and lower until he’s tracing the top of my panty line with his tongue. I might not be a virgin, but no one has ever kissed me down there. I’m panting into the quiet room with Brazen finally so close to the area where I touch myself while thinking of him. He licks me over my panties, and I know he’s gotten a taste of how wet I am before he settles between my legs and slips my panties off. Tension builds inside me while he prolongs our contact. He hoists my legs over his shoulders and blows his warm breath against me.

“I never want to forget what tasting you for the first time is like,” he confesses just before he runs his tongue over me.

I buck against the gentle contact, and his hands steady my hips before he goes back in for more. He groans as he covers me with his mouth, and I can’t take my eyes off him. His tongue swirls, and his lips suck. There is no area uncovered by him. The heels of my bare feet dig into his back, and I enjoy the ride.

“Brazen, oh dear God!”

He sucks my clit into his mouth and rolls his tongue fast and continuously until my fists are pounding into the mattress. Never before have I felt like I was going to pass out from so much pleasure. Brazen’s grip on my hips applies a slight degree of pain that balances out the warring sensations taking over.

I fall over the edge with Brazen leading the way.

My eyes close.

My breathing stutters.

My body reacts.

Big time.

Then, his mouth is gone until his lips crush my own. There is so much passion running through Brazen that it electrifies our kiss. His tongue pushes into my mouth, and I get my first taste of my own orgasm. Brazen rips at his own clothes as I tug on the back of his hair.

“That was incredible, Noah. You. Are. Incredible.”

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” My voice is raspy and rushed.

When he’s finally free of his clothes, he rises and kneels between my legs to grab a condom from the nightstand. It’s my first real view of Brazen’s naked body.

“Wait,” I tell him, rising up on my elbows. “I want to see you—all of you—before you put that on.”

A cocky smirk appears on his face. He straightens his shoulders and looks down at me. The muscles in his neck and shoulders are strained. The long days he spends outside doing hard labor do amazing things to his tan and his thick arms. My eyes travel down his chest to the light smattering of blond hair to the lines of his defined abs. His dick is hard and standing proud. I can’t wait to explore his body like he has mine. Next time, I want to touch all of him and learn what he likes. This time though, I need him inside me sooner rather than later.

“Get your fill?” he asks, licking his lips.

“I want to feel you inside me, Brazen.”

“Shit! Baby, you keep saying things like that, and I won’t be able to control myself.”

“I don’t want you to. I always want you to lose control with me. My restraint was gone a long time ago.”

He puts the condom on and then runs his dick across my pussy. I bend my knee, and he kisses it. His teeth bear down on my leg as he slowly pushes inside me.

“Breathe,” he tells me.

I obey, which allows him further access. I widen my legs, and Brazen sinks fully inside.

“Fuck,” he curses and keeps perfectly still until I roll my hips and squirm against the bed. “Noah,” he breathes my name like a content sigh of relief.

He pulls back until only the tip remains inside and then pushes back in. He repeats this motion again and again. Every time is so agonizingly slow, I might break apart just from the torture of it. My nails dig into the palm of my hand while his hands grip my knees. He leans down to kiss me while he rolls his hips.

He whispers against my lips, “You feel so good, baby.”

Then, his hips start to move, and his thrusts become more powerful. My own hands play with my nipples, and Brazen’s fingers go to my clit. He grunts as he rises up and rocks against me harder. I match his motions, and we find a perfect rhythm.

It’s the perfect mix of rough and tender.

His words are soft, but his touch is firm.

His speed is slow, but his thrusts are solid.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to move or walk again.

“Brazen!” I moan through my orgasm.

He groans through his. Still inside me, he falls on top of my body and breathes into my chest.

“Noah, I think you might have been made for me.” And, just like that, Brazen has taken an already ideal moment and made it beyond compare.