The phone rang again. A week since leaving hospital and I still couldn’t seem to catch my breath. I was exhausted. I’d not seen Laura, paperwork was giving me a headache, renovations were in full swing and Stella had disappeared off the face of the earth. I let the damned phone ring out as I rubbed at my temples. My mobile buzzed across the scuffed wood a moment later and I made a mental note to order new office furniture real soon. There were only so many times I could read the scratched-out words ‘fuck’ before they repeated in my head over and over. I ignored the ringing mobile too, figuring I’d had enough for the day. Time to go home.

Snatching up my phone, not bothering to look at who was calling, I shoved it into my pocket. I shutdown the computer and switched off lights as I left the room, heading for the main dining area. The shutters were down but the room wasn’t so dim I couldn’t see the figure of a man standing in the doorway.

I staggered to a halt in the middle of the room, shoving my hands into my pockets, trying to make my stance as casual as possible. I didn’t want him knowing how much he fucking angered me. He stared at me for a minute before mimicking my position. Unlike on previous encounters, he looked awkward and nervous. Gone was the big, menacing guy I’d met many a time before, in less than favourable circumstances. Perhaps it was because I no longer cared. Who knew? He didn’t intimidate me anymore.

“What do you want, Adam?”

He kept eyeing me, looking like he was choosing his words carefully. “Where is she?”

Angling my head to the side, I stared right back. This was new. He always had tabs on Stella, knew where she was before I even did.

“Who?” I didn’t care if I was being a dick.

He chuckled and took a few shuffled steps further into the room, healthy admiration evident on his wide-eyed face.

“Nice place you’ve got here.” There was no threat in his voice, I might have been picking him up wrong, but I detected admiration in his words, which was crazy coming from this man. “You know who, Lucca. Don’t play coy.”

I owed this man nothing except maybe a bullet to his back. “She’s not been here in weeks, try the city.” I moved across to the mahogany bar and grabbed my parka jacket from the bar stool. “I was leaving, so, if you don’t mind...” I made my point clear.

“All right,” he conceded, still not making to move. “For what it’s worth, Lucca, you really were too good for her.”

I couldn’t help the bellow of a laugh that erupted from my mouth. “Yeah...”

I think that was as much of an apology as I’d ever get from the man that had been fucking my wife for more years than I cared to remember. I walked to where he stood, stopping at his side.

“No hard feelings, Adam,” I growled, “but if you ever come onto my property again uninvited and no-one’s here? I’m going to shoot your sorry fucking arse and throw you in the water.” I walked away from him, not particularly caring for his reaction. “You feel me...?” I called behind as I exited the door, thankful for the wintry breeze and stinted sunshine on my face.

I walked off in the direction of the café, not caring if Adam followed or not. That chapter of my life was over. Neither him nor Stella were an issue any more. I’d made my bed and I sure as hell was going to lie in it and enjoy.

* * *

I swayed on the bar stool, leaning against Ryder as he cackled with laughter.

“You feel okay, dude?”

I squinted at him knowing another drink would have me seeing double. No hardship, he was a handsome fucker, just not my cup of tea. The object of my affection had long dark hair and big, brown eyes; captivating eyes. The need to call her niggled, although I didn’t think she’d appreciate a phone call at silly o’clock in the morning, from a guy three sheets to the wind.

“Man, you’ve got it bad!” Ryder nudged me, and I sat up straighter on the stool, contemplating one last drink.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“Laura.” He smirked at me. “I see the appeal. Admit your nefarious thoughts and get the hell on with it.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, shit head?”  

I knew fine well. I wasn’t willing to throw it all down for him, so he could take the piss. Yes, Laura and I were doing this; things were going slow, and that was down to me. I didn’t want to be all up in her face and come across like a possessive dirt bag wanting to get into her knickers.

“Call the woman, stop being a pussy!”

I grunted at him then shouted the bartender over. One last drink was looking mighty fine right about now. One for the road before I went back to a bleak house and jacked off - again.

The beer went down a treat. Ryder wouldn’t leave the current topic of conversation alone and I found myself thinking silly thoughts. Like, how it wouldn’t be a booty call if I phoned her - would it? The thought of a booty call had my dick rocking up against my zipper. All right, no calling. No way I could waltz up to her door with a stiffy anyway. God, she’d peg me for the dirty old fucker I was right then. Laura deserved better than a pissed, horny old git trying to seduce the pants off her. Smooth, real smooth, Lucca.

“Fuck it, I’m headed off.” Ryder grabbed my arm, trying not to fall from his stool as he moved. “Taylor’s gonna have my balls in a vice if I wake her up. No more for me.”

“Aw...pussy whipped, are we?”

Ryder glared at me, amusement dancing in his eyes when he answered. “Uh-huh, you’d know all about that, prick.”

He finally steadied his feet and grabbed at his junk, the obscene gesture looking hilarious on him. I full on cracked up, almost toppling off my stool.

“Seriously, call her!”

“Night Ryder...” I snickered thinking about the ever popular and clever car from the 80’s. The joke was old, no point repeating it.

I dismissed my best friend with a wave of my hand then pivoted back to the bar. I could do with another half hour, so I could walk straight enough to find home. “You got any coffee brewing, Rick?” I asked hopefully.

“Black?”

I bobbed my head thankfully at him as he walked to the other end of the bar.

Rubbing at the tender spot on my chest, thoughts went back to Stella like they usually did, and I wondered, not for the first time, how on God’s green earth we ended up the way we did. I understood her grievance with my father, but to hold a grudge that long, to keep me accountable for his actions all these years? It baffled me. She hated me so vehemently, detested me, I couldn’t get my head around it. She must have loathed me. To stick a six-inch blade into my chest with no remorse? That’s not just hate, that’s more. Disgust, contempt...what? The woman had messed with my head more than I’d realised. I had to get over this shit.

I scrubbed my hand across my jaw and sighed as a black cup of coffee was plonked down in front of me.

“Your phone’s ringing, mate.” Rick pointed to my mobile sitting on the bar and sure enough the screen was lit up with Ryder’s name. I groaned and tipped my head in thanks while picking up.

“Hey, bonehead...what did you forget?”

“Dude, you can thank me later.”

Then...nothing.

Nothing except the dial tone, crazy fucker had hung up. I felt movement to my left, someone sitting on the stool Ryder had recently vacated and I cringed, hoping it wasn’t one of the regulars wanting to natter. I’m a nice guy, have the time of day for most folks but tonight I wanted to wallow over my coffee for a bit before I hauled my arse home. I watched Rick’s face light up as he checked out whoever had sat down.

The subtle, sweet, flowery smell of familiarity, registered a second later.  A smell that warmed my skin and excited me.

Bloody horny old git. Sober the fuck up!

Gathering myself together as much as I could, I swivelled on the stool and turned to the lovely Laura. She was beautiful. Her long, silky, chestnut hair framed that sweetheart face of hers to perfection. I was ogling, and I didn’t give a toss, I could have sat and simply watched her for hours. She was staring back in amusement, her eyes crinkled at the corners and a small grin tugging on those lips I’d dreamt of a million times and more.

What was it about this woman?

With a lazy smirk and a likely leer, I drawled out a pathetic ‘hi.’

The apple of her cheeks flushed pink - a blush, I think. I loved that a single word from me could do that to her. Christ, imagine the colour if I was to whisper the dirty things in her ear that ran rampant around my head all too often.

“I heard you need a ride?”

Did I ever? Stop!

She tilted her head, eyeing me up and down, assessing how she was going to wrestle me out of the bar.

“Guilty as charged.” I put my hands up in surrender.

“Taylor called, asked if I’d take your drunk arse home.”

Leaning in closer, I mumbled, “home, huh?”

She nudged my forgotten coffee closer to me. “Drink up, Romeo. It’s late.”

I did as I was told. “Yes ma’am.”

It wasn’t meant in a derogatory manner and her smile showed she took no offence. I quickly downed the bitter black liquid, trying to remember if the tab had been paid or not. I’d worry about it tomorrow, not like I’d be skipping town. I dumped the cup down on the bar and slid off the stool, planting my feet onto the sticky floor. I shifted my arm to the side, showing the way to the front of the bar.

“After you...”

Laura sidled up next to me, putting her hand on my forearm. “You need help?”

The serious tone to her voice alerted me to the fact I may have looked worse for wear, it endeared me that she cared. Cared enough to come get me, cared enough to ask if I was okay. I bloody liked that she cared enough. Had been a long time since any woman had.

I pushed my luck. “You gonna help if I do?”

Laura smacked my arm playfully as she moved away. “Give over, you’re fine. Let’s go.”

We left the bar together, being a gentleman, I pushed the door open for her to go through first. As soon as the fresh air hit, my head spun, and I braced myself against the brick wall. Yip, a lot more drunk than I figured and ouch...my chest ached fiercely. I remembered I’d had no painkillers, not when I had been planning on getting shit faced.

Mission accomplished.

Laura stepped in front of me, clearly assessing the situation. “Well, you’re not getting in my car, that’s for sure.”

Looking up and down the near deserted street, she pulled her lip between her teeth and suddenly became all kinds of cute. There was a tinge of nerves to her I didn’t like. When I reached out, she side-stepped away, and I couldn’t quite catch her. To mask the move, not show the sting of rejection, I leaned over and braced my hands on my knees.

“Gimme five minutes. I’ll be right as rain, yeah?”

Concentrating on her feet shuffling in front of me, those purple pixie boots truly fascinating. I chuckled to myself - ridiculous idiot. “I can walk. You don’t need to stay, Laura. I’m a big boy.”

“Pissed as a fart, more like.”

I returned upright and leaned my head back against the wall, content to watch her until my world righted itself again. Funny thing was, I’d no idea how long it would take. This woman standing in front of me had shoved it right off its axis, had me teetering in all directions.

Laura reached out and tugged at my wrist. “Come on...” Pulling me, she headed off in the opposite direction of my house. “Let’s walk down to mine, it’s closer. The fresh air will sober you up.”

My two steps behind her wouldn’t do so I hurried to catch up and walk next to her, not making too much fanfare over the way she was gripping my wrist. If I wriggled, she might be tempted to let go and I didn’t want her to. Her cold fingers against my heated pulse was intoxicating.

“I’m sorry,” I apologised without slurring my words.

She shook her head at me, the scent of whatever product she used in her hair surrounding me as we walked. Almonds, I think.

“I’ll spot you a coffee at mine, phone you a cab.”

Laura let go, like she only just remembered she was hauling me along the road. Her pace picked up and even though I was still half-drunk, I detected a hint of unease as she marched toward her house. I wisely kept my mouth shut, happy enough to be in her company, no matter the circumstances. Hell, I wasn’t even embarrassed she’d had to come save my arse like a naughty drunken teenager.

We got to her house in no time at all, a chill had set in the night air and I realised the thin sweater I was wearing did nothing to keep me warm. I rubbed at my arms as we walked up the path noting her house was lit up like a mardi gras carnival with what seemed like every single overhead light on in the place. It wasn’t that dim glow from lamps and candles, no - like a lighthouse, a beacon for the ships. You couldn’t miss it for miles. A pang of regret hit my stomach as understanding dawned on me - she didn’t even feel safe in her own house. I stopped at the bottom of her steps and touched her elbow before she reached for the front door.

“Hey.” I motioned back down the dark street we’d walked. “I can call a cab now, no need for coffee.” I tried to smile at her to convey it was no big deal. She shrugged it off.

“No, it’s all right. Come on in, it’s getting cold. No sense in waiting outside.”

There was no will to argue. I didn’t even have the will to go home. I was confused as to what I wanted, what I needed, the alcohol catching up. I didn’t want her feeling uncomfortable around me, yet I craved Laura’s presence. I surmised a coffee wouldn’t hurt, if I kept my distance, not made a move. I rubbed my hand over my chest, the motion surely becoming a habit, feeling nervous. I’d been in her house before, this felt different, like we were crossing a line that wouldn’t be easy to step back from. Her frosty demeanour didn’t hide her trepidation and I wondered if she felt it too. I’d known for a while things were going this way between us and I was hell bent on not letting our pasts define us.

Somehow though, it was easier said than done. Stella had done a number on me, no matter how much I wanted to deny it. I was savvy enough to understand not all women were like she was, not all women operated in the same fashion my ex-wife did. Taking a chance would not be easy but my heart thumped for Laura, it was useless to ignore it. Laura had said yes, we would do this. Nothing had come of those words since they were uttered, maybe it was time to push the boat, start the ball rolling. My head cleared enough to make the decision I prayed was the right one.

Laura pushed the door open, ushering me inside with an unsure smile. “You want coffee or hot chocolate?”

She glanced back at me as she made her way to the kitchen. Naturally, I followed, taking in the sensual sway of her hips as she moved, the attraction not lost on me.

“You have whipped cream?” I asked cheekily as she pulled mugs from an overhead cupboard. My eyes fixated on the taut line of her back and I shamelessly ogled her fine arse as my eyes swept the length of her. I wanted this woman, no two ways about it.

Making a move into the kitchen, I figured whatever came next, rejection or not, I could blame it on the alcohol.

Cheap shot? Yeah...

I had to know if this simmering attraction went both ways, if it was mutual, or if it was a figment of my imagination. If my lustful fancies were unreturned, whatever we had together was pointless. I wasn’t subjecting myself to another passionless relationship. It was now or never.

Having been stuck in my head for too long, I looked up to find Laura watching me, hands on her hips, looking...hell, I couldn’t read her. Did I go to her? Did I kiss her? Did I apologise again? Did I bow out as gracefully as I possibly could?

“Lucca...” she said, relaxing her stance. Her voice rumbled low, almost a whisper.

My heart jumped, my hopes soared. Fuck it! I crossed the kitchen and crowded her against the wooden cabinets, my hands grasping the counter either side of her hips, my body flush against hers, screaming for release. She didn’t scamper away, rather she softened against me. I couldn’t ignore this any longer. It could be Laura was mine.

“Kiss me again,” she breathed.

Stretching a hand to her hip, I gripped tight, needing an anchor. I leant down, lips skimming across hers. Soft and slow, not wanting to rush. As much as I wanted to devour her, I also wanted her to have no regrets, no doubts. To be sure she knew this wasn’t an in-the-moment passionate gesture. She had to see what this meant, to see the beginning of a beautiful and fulfilling story.

Us, this could be us.

Laura didn’t move, the kiss tentative. She let me take control. I pushed against her, my lips pressed with more fervour, my erection digging into her stomach. Then suddenly she was kissing me back. Her eager tongue pushed into my mouth and she groaned; a gruff noise that had my fingers digging into her flesh with more intent. My head swam, not from the booze, no - from the euphoria that Laura was most definitely on my wavelength. The way she reciprocated was testament enough for me. I wrapped my free hand around a fistful of her hair and kissed with more passion so there was no mistaking how much I wanted her. Right here, right now would never be enough. If it was all I was allowed, I would take it and hang on to it for a lifetime and more.

Laura wrenched away from me, ragged breaths escaping her mouth, short puffs of air ghosting across my cheek. She tipped her head forward and rested against the column of my throat where I relaxed my chin atop her head. Pushing my arms around her waist, I held her closer to me.

“You okay?” I asked.

She gave a snort. “More than.”

It was all the reaction I needed as she wound herself around me and squeezed her arms tighter.