Contrary to everyone’s belief, I didn’t hate hospitals. The sterile environment was pleasant, once you got away from the ER. I was used to hospitals. As a kid, I’d broken a bone or two, and then, well...Adam happened. Hospitals were not fun places to be until you got in that room - it became quieter, peaceful. I was craving the solitude.

I didn’t want to sit and listen to Taylor’s crying or Lucca’s angry shouts, Ryders oppressive silence. I didn’t want the inevitable break down my mother would have, or the pity from my father when they arrived. I especially didn’t want the constant barrage of doctors and nurses poking at me and asking questions. I wanted to be left alone. I’d been harassed enough. The cannula in my hand smarted with pain and the doctor hovered, no doubt trying to coerce me into doing the rape kit test. I’d refused more than once, and I’d been lucid enough to decline, what was the point? The man was dead. There were no charges to be brought.

Adam was dead.

His demise would take a while to sink in, I wanted to do it in the tranquillity of a silent room with no outside distractions. In a weird way, I had to grieve. I’d lived in such a way all these years, to know I was free of my shackled past would take time to process. Because honestly, I didn’t know how to live without paranoia and fear being my constant.

For the time being, my own company was all I pined for.

A nurse, a kind nurse, pulled back the cubicle curtains and stepped inside, her easy features mellowing my shitty mood. “How’s your face feeling, darling?”

She’d been the first to attend when I’d been wheeled through the doors, and for whatever reason, she was sticking close by, being nothing but understanding and patient.

“Sore.”

Nurses were angels in the worst of times, shining beacons lighting the dark for battered souls such as myself. I touched my fingers to my throat, hopeful there was no permanent damage. For someone who hadn’t wanted to hurt me, Adam had done a bang-up job doing just that.

“Are they still there?” My voice sounded cracked and broken, even to my ears.

“Yes, you want them to come on back?”

“No, not really.”

She fussed around with the pulse oximeter that was attached to the end of my finger, checking numbers, satisfied enough to remove the thing once finished. “I can send them away for you, sweetheart. If that’s what you want?”

It was selfish. They were here because they cared and were worried. All I wanted to do was hide for a while longer. There’d be no sending Taylor away, she’d need to see with her own two eyes I was still in one piece and okay. She’d never forgive me if I didn’t let her back.

“My sister...”

The nurse sensed my hesitation and placed her hand over mine. “Just your sister. Five minutes, then I’ll shift them.”

I was so very grateful she understood my needs so easily. She left, returning two short minutes later with a sobbing Taylor in tow. “Five minutes,” the nurse warned. “She needs to rest.”

Taylor ignored the command, rounding the bed, pushing her hand into my unbandaged one. Tears slipped from her eyes, not the first of the night by any means.

“Laura...”

“I’m okay, Taylor. I promise.”

“I thought I’d almost lost you again.”

Of course she did. My greatest fear was losing the other half of my heart, I couldn’t imagine how she felt having almost bared witness to it once, never mind twice. The first time had been awful enough. I had no clue what to say to her, how to console her or assure her I was fine. I didn’t know how to make her tears stop. I lay in the bed and closed my mind to it all. I’d deal with it another time. Tomorrow.

“Lucca’s still here,” Taylor said as she wiped my hair from my forehead. “He wants to come in for a minute.”

“Not tonight, Taylor.”

I felt her hand tighten, she wisely said nothing. Did she think I was being too harsh? Uncaring? That wasn’t the case at all. ‘I’m tired,’ was the best I could come up with, it would have to do.

“I’ll stay...”

“No. Please...go home.”

The curtain pulled back and the nurse motioned to Taylor. “Time’s up, I’m afraid. You can come back in the afternoon. It’s 4am, go home, get some rest.”

Taylor’s shoulders slumped, another few tears rolled down her face. Letting go of my hand, she swiped a kiss across my nose then left. Oh boy, I’d hurt her feelings, big time. The nurse’s name tag read Vicki and I had to remember to thank her when I left, with a bunch of flowers.

“I’ve got a lovely, quiet side room upstairs with your name on it, Laura. You fancy that, darling?” My words stuck in my throat, much like the screams in my head. “Come on then, let’s take you up and get you settled down for a while, yeah?”

She kicked off the brake on the bottom of the bed and wheeled me from the room, down the noisy ER corridor. I laid back and watched the strip lights passing overhead as Vicki whisked me away to serenity for a few hours. Thoughts of Adam filling my head instead of Lucca.