Chapter Four
Sally Ann’s was unusually quiet for a Thursday night and, for that, Rosemary was grateful. The fewer people to witness her out with Ryan, the fewer people to speculate. She’d only been living full-time in Sweetgrass for a few weeks, since Blake had made the adorable little town his primary home. Making a good impression still lingered close to the top of her priorities.
“Dining alone tonight?” Sally Ann asked with a warm smile as she set a menu and a glass of water in front of Rosemary.
“No, I’m meeting someone.” She smiled politely. “Though, I think we’re just having coffee, if that’s okay.” Of course, her traitorous stomach had to go and choose that very moment to decide it wanted something more. Typical.
“Sure thing, pretty lady. I’ll be right back.” The older woman sashayed away as the front door of the restaurant opened and the chimes announced a new arrival. A new arrival who was dressed in a dark hoodie and a Huskers ball cap, to be exact.
“Hey,” Ryan said, strolling over curiously with his hands tucked in the front pockets of his jeans. Beneath the table, she wound her own hands together to keep them from shaking. “Two times in one day. Imagine that.”
She gave a small, uneasy smile. “I might’ve hijacked your coffee date with Janine. I hope you don’t mind.”
He eyed the single empty seat with a raised eyebrow. “Not at all, but I think we need another chair.”
“Actually, it’s just me. Janine’s at home painting her nails and chomping at the bit for me to get back, so she can bombard me with ten-thousand questions.”
His gentle, masculine laugh lightened the air around them and Rosemary blew out a breath of relief. At least he’s not running for the door.
“So you not only know Janine, but you live with her, too?” Pulling out the chair, he lowered his big body with a comfortable bounce. Was he really this relaxed or was he pretending as much as she was?
“It’s a temporarily arrangement.” She explained about her recent move to be closer to Blake, who wasn’t her only PR client, but was definitely the one who used up the biggest portion of her time. Not a big surprise, really, given his mega-celebrity status and a reputation that required constant upkeep.
“Unbelievable,” Ryan said when she was done, one corner of his mouth ticking up into a crooked grin. “My mother would have a field day with this.”
“Tell me about it. I’ve worked with Janine for years now and somehow the fact that I used to live in River Bend never came up. Then you show up in Sweetgrass…” She broke off, shaking her head. “I’d say it was fate, but you don’t believe in that. Or least, you never used to.”
He held her gaze, his grin softening. “Still don’t.”
“Good to know.”
Sally Ann sauntered up to the table again, this time with two monstrous cups of coffee. “Figured anyone who drinks coffee at this time of the night probably does it big, too.”
Ryan chuckled. “I like the way you think, ma’am.”
“Oh, stop. No ma’am-ing around here if you hope to live long enough to come back. I’m just Sally Ann. Owner of this fine establishment.” She put the mugs down and offered Ryan her hand.
“Ryan Croft. The lucky guy who gets to enjoy this beautiful woman’s company tonight,” he said, tipping his head toward Rose.
Winding the fabric of her dress in her hands, she forced a smile. Comments like that were breeding grounds for rumor, especially in a small town. Didn’t matter that she was still new to the place.
“Ah, well, I suppose I should be happy to hear that, though, if I’m honest, I had my hopes set on introducing her to my nephew.”
Oh, dear God. She’d heard about Sally Ann’s penchant for matchmaking, but did she really have to start so soon?
Ryan chuckled. “Don’t let me hold you back. I mean, unless the guy is a sleaze ball, which I doubt is the case since he’s related to you.”
Sally Ann’s mouth twisted into a pleased smirk. “I like this one, Rosemary. You should keep him around.”
Shoot me. Shoot me now.
Ryan continued to grin, but as soon as Sally Ann moved out of earshot, he shook his head. “I like her, but then I don’t, you know?”
“What’s not the like? She’s wonderful.” Once you got past the meddling.
“I’m sure she is, but she’s also dead serious about you and her nephew.”
“Oh, hardly. But even if she were, what would it matter?”
“It would matter, because you’re my ex and I’m probably never going to jump up and down about the prospect of you with someone else, no matter how many years go by.”
Oh, that.
“Don’t look so surprised, Rosie. You were my first love. To say I’ll always be a little overprotective of you would be an understatement.”
Time to change the subject. As quickly as possible.
Reaching for the menu Sally Ann had left, Rosemary looked anywhere but at Ryan. “I know you planned on coffee with Janine, but I’m starving. Do you mind?”
“I skipped out on steaks on the grill to be here, so, no, I don’t mind at all. I’d love to buy you dinner.”
“Ha!” A sudden burst of laughter sprang up from her chest. Not the nervous kind, but the genuine kind one had to slap a hand over their mouth to contain. “That’s not what I meant,” she explained. “I wasn’t fishing for a free meal. Honest.”
Ryan’s dark blue eyes lit up. A challenge, if she’d ever seen one. “What are you saying, Rosie? You turning down my offer?”
God, no. Face to face, she’d never been able to deny him. That’s why she’d had to put so much distance between them all those years ago.
“Not at all. I just don’t want to give you a reason to leave. Not yet, anyway.” She pressed her lips together and looked him straight in the eye. Baby steps with the honesty, she told herself. You owe him that much.
Ryan cocked his head to the side, drawing her attention to his neck. To the way the tendons stretched tight beneath his skin, curving so deliciously downward to the thick trapezius muscle that had been her teenage undoing. A rush of goosebumps flashed across her own skin and she shivered.
You’ve clearly been out of the game too long, lady.
Wait. No. This wasn’t a game. Especially not that kind. Not with Ryan, of all people. Have you learned nothing, body? Nothing at all?
As if to remind her of his presence, he cleared his throat. “Why would I leave? I’ve only been here ten minutes.”
Okay, so maybe she wasn’t as ready to be honest as she’d thought.
He leaned in, his voice low. “I know it’s been a while, but your eyelashes used to flutter when you were nervous. They’re going crazy right now and I have to wonder—do I make you nervous, princess?”
The response that formed immediately on her tongue was an unquestionable yes. No other man had ever had the power to make her squirm the way he had and, damn it, he was doing it all over again without even trying.
But what she felt right now wasn’t as much about nerves as it was giving him what he deserved. An explanation. A very long overdue explanation.
“No.” She shook her head before she could talk herself out of it. “You don’t make me nervous, but the conversation we need to have does.”
“Oh.” His brow pinched together, despite the easy, contradictory way he leaned back in his chair. “What is it we need to discuss?”
This is it, Rose. Almost ten years in the making…
“I want to talk about why I left,” she said, before the decade’s worth of guilt and regret she’d buried inside began to rear its ugly head.
He nodded without hesitation. “All right.”
Another unexpected laugh broke free in her chest. “That’s it? Just all right? Aren’t you supposed to be annoyed with me right now? Angry even?”
“It’s been too long to be angry, Rosie.”
Well, crap. How was she supposed to do this with him being all compassionate and kind? She’d only look like a bigger fool!
“I thought I’d be pissed, too,” he continued on, “when we eventually saw each other again. But I wasn’t. I’m not. I’m just…here. Shocked as hell that you’re sitting across from me, but I’m rolling with it.” He lifted a hand before letting it drop with a slap against his thigh.
She shook her head. “I’ve been in knots since you walked into Blake’s. Rolling with it? Not in my repertoire of coping skills.”
“Seems to me you’re rolling along just fine.” He shot her a wink and she covered her face with her hands, partly to muffle her strangled whimper and partly to hide her flushed cheeks.
“You always were the easy-going one,” she muttered through her fingers. “I envied that about you.”
“Ah, princess, there were lots of things I envied about you, too, but I’m pretty sure none of them are what chased you off.”
She shook her head. “Definitely not.”
“So what was it then? Something I did? Something I said? I’m not going to pretend I haven’t wondered all these years.”
If that confession was supposed to make her feel better, he’d missed his mark. All he’d done was reassure her of how unforgivable her silence had been and make her wonder if this moment—this conversation—was for nothing. Chances were the only thing she’d accomplish would be to make him hate her all over again.
But she hadn’t gotten to where she had in life with half-measures, and scary as this was, she had to tell him the truth. The whole truth.
“I don’t know how to say this,” she said quietly. “I know I have to, but…it’s so hard. Maybe the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” Other than leaving him, anyway.
He reached across the table and took her hand, offering sympathy she didn’t deserve. “Just say it. I can handle it.”
But could she? Only one way to find out.
Deep breath in, deep breath out. “It was something we did, Ryan. Together.”
For a long moment, his expression remained unchanged. To the point, she wanted to wave a hand in front of his face just to make sure he’d heard her, because this really wasn’t something she wanted to repeat.
Finally, he spoke, low and hoarse and cautious. “What did we do, Rosie?”
Borrowing every ounce of courage she could, she lifted her chin, despite the tears that filled her eyes. “We got pregnant.”