Chapter Nineteen

Ella

 

Something woke me from a deep and comfortable sleep. I blinked in confusion, looking around the room, my eyes finally settling beside me. Beckett was twisting against the mattress, his face strained and his fists gripping the sheets between his fingers. He was mumbling and groaning, clearly disturbed. I sat up, fully awake now and worried for him. Gently, I reached forward and touched his arm.

“Beckett…”

I stroked his arm, calling his name.

“Beckett, can you hear me? It’s Ella. You’re home, and you’re safe. Beckett?”

With a jolt Beckett shot up in bed, his body misted with sweat and he shouted so loud it made me gasp and hold the blankets against my body. He was breathing hard, looking around the room, until his eyes settled on me. The fear slipped from his face and was replaced with embarrassment. Beckett ran his hands through his hair trying to calm himself.

“Shit, did I wake you Ella? I’m sorry.”

I shifted closer to him, placing my hand on his arm. His skin was damp and clammy.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

He froze, then slowly nodded.

“This is why I never share a bed with anyone. Ever since my parents were killed… sometimes I relive it in my mind. I wish I didn’t, I hate having to see it over and over again all these years. Not being able to save them, seeing them die again and again.”

Beckett stood up and pulled on a pair of boxers.

“You rest, I’ll go and sleep in one of the guest rooms.”

I reached for his hand and held on before he could turn away.

“No, stay,” I insisted. “Stay with me. It’s okay, I promise.”

He looked uncertain. I pulled back the sheets and patted the space beside me. Finally, with some reluctance, Beckett lay back down. I curled my body against his, resting my head against his chest where his heart was still racing. He stroked my hair softly, neither of us saying a word. Eventually, we drifted back to sleep.

***

When I woke the next morning, the bed was empty. Beckett was gone. I stretched and slipped my legs over the side of the bed, pulled on a t-shirt then headed out of the bedroom. I checked a few rooms until I found Beckett in the gym, grey sweatpants low on his hips as he struck the punching bag again and again. I leaned in the doorway and watched him, mesmerized by the sheer power of his body. He was glistening with sweat, his muscles gleaming in the daylight streaming through the window. I bit my lip, feeling heat rise between my legs when I thought back over all the things that strong body was capable of.

Beckett turned his head and noticed me, stopping his assault against the leather, then running a hand over his face.

“How long have you been standing there?”

I smiled. “Long enough to enjoy the show.”

Beckett chuckled. “I woke up a few hours ago and thought I’d let you sleep in. But trust me, that’s not the first thing that ran through my mind when I looked over at you naked in my bed.”

I smiled, still leaning against the doorframe. “Why don’t you keep at it in here, I’ll make us breakfast.”

He shook his head. “You’re my guest, I should-”

I raised my hand, cutting him off.

“I insist. Your kitchen is gorgeous, I never get to cook in a place like that at home. How do you feel about pancakes?”

“Pancakes sound great Ella.”

I turned on my heels and skipped to the kitchen, marveling at the gas range and stainless steel appliances. It was a far cry from my dingy and tiny cooking space at home. I rummaged through the many, many cupboards and large fridge relieved to find all of the ingredients I needed. I hummed to myself as I whisked, heating a cast iron skillet on the stove with a pat of butter then poured in a ladle of batter. I chopped up a bowl of bananas and strawberries, then turned my attention to the coffee machine. It was a professional model, like you might see in an expensive coffee shop.

“How hard can it be?” I mumbled to myself as I tentatively moved a lever and pressed a button. The resulting screeching noise the machine made caused me to jump back and scream, my back bumping hard against the cupboards. I heard laughter from my right and turned to see Beckett pulling a shirt on, smelling fresh from a shower.

Beckett leaned forward and pressed something, then the noise stopped.

“This,” he pointed to the lever, “is a milk frother. And this is the grinder.”

“I’m buying you a drip coffee maker, like normal people have. With paper filters and grinds,” I grumbled.

He shook his head. “This tastes so much better. You focus on the pancakes, I’ll do the coffee. You might want to flip that,” he nodded to the stove where my pancake was starting to smoke.

I rushed over and flipped it, it was starting to char around the edges. I stayed by the stove, watching over the rest of the pancakes as Beckett effortlessly made us two cups of coffee. The kitchen was filled with the smells of breakfast, and I was starving. I glanced at the clock on the wall and my eyes went wide.

“Is it really noon?” I gasped.

Beckett nodded. “We slept in, but that’s what the weekend is for.”

I filled two plates with pancakes and fruit, then we sat side by side at the kitchen island. Beckett pushed his fork through a stack of pancakes then bit into it, smiling at me.

“These are really good Ella.”

“This is good too,” I lifted my coffee and took a sip. “So, what do you want to do today?”

Beckett arched an eyebrow suggestively as he bit into a strawberry and I shook my head, laughing.

“After breakfast, why don’t you get ready. I have a surprise for you.”

I perked up. “A surprise? What kind of surprise?”

Beckett turned his attention back to his breakfast with a sly grin.

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise.”

We enjoyed our food and then I went back to the bedroom, where I headed for the shower. I sighed when I stepped under the warm water, lathering myself up with the richly scented sandalwood soap Beckett used. The smell of him made my heart race as I inhaled deeply, the fragrant notes pulling at something in me. When I was done I wrapped myself in a towel and got my overnight bag.  I twisted my hair into a bun and did my makeup, then dressed in a blue skirt and grey shirt. Slipping into navy flats I checked my reflection, feeling confident, and headed back out to the living room where Beckett was reading a book on the couch.

He looked up at me when he heard me approaching, a smile spreading over his lips.

“You look beautiful Ella.”

I smiled, feeling self-conscious while his eyes roamed over my face and body.

“I don’t know where we’re going, so I hope I’m not under-dressed.”

Beckett put his book down and came towards me, taking me by the hand.

“You’re perfect. Come, let’s go.”

We headed into the elevator and down to the garage, where I followed Beckett past a row of cars stopping at a black Audi.

“So this is your car?” I asked.

He opened the door and I slid inside, the seats smooth leather against my body. “One of them, yes,” he winked. Beckett got behind the wheel and I looked over at him, smiling.

“What happened to ‘we can’t go on dates in public because of my secret identity?’” I teased.

The engine started with a roar and we pulled out onto the street, Beckett weaving through traffic and driving to some mystery destination.

“Let’s just say for you, I’m willing to compromise.”

We drove down familiar streets, the sights and crowds of Vegas mingling just beyond the glass of the window as people enjoyed their weekend. We pulled down a side street beside Eclipse Theatre where Beckett parked, then turned and looked to me, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Ready?” he asked.

I nodded and we got out of the car. He held my hand as we walked to the front where an usher was waiting outside the doors. There was a sign posted that said “Closed for a private function”. The usher opened the doors for us and we walked inside. The theatre lobby was quiet and completely empty as we walked through. I looked up at Beckett, confused.

“We’re seeing a movie?”

He smiled. “You wanted to go out and go on dates, like normal people. So I booked out the whole theatre today to watch a movie with you.”

My eyes widened.

“That’s hardly a normal date,” I laughed.

At the concession stand Beckett got us a bag of popcorn and two sodas, handing one to me with a wink. I shook my head at him as I took a sip and we walked to a theatre.

“What are we watching?”

“I thought since you read the book when you were… let’s say a forced guest of mine, The Count of Monte Cristo might be appropriate. But if you want to see something else I can arrange that.”

“The Count of Monte Cristo is perfect,” I assured him. “It was nice of you to leave your forced guest a few books to pass the time.”

Beckett kissed my forehead and we took seats in the middle of the theatre. When we were seated, the movie started. We shared buttery popcorn as we watched the classic film, I leaned my body against Beckett and he wrapped an arm around me. Despite the theatre being oddly empty, it felt like a perfectly normal thing to do together. Beckett had gone through so much effort to make me happy. It warmed my heart to know he was capable of trying to give me something normal, despite everything inside him that resisted.

I could understand why he would like the movie. It was a tale of loss and betrayal, of a man pushed to reinvent himself in the name of revenge. After everything Beckett had been through in his life, wealth wasn’t the key to happiness if he didn’t have the people who mattered most to him. Power and punishing those who have wronged you were powerful driving forces.

When the movie ended, Beckett turned his head and smiled down at me.

“Hope you didn’t fill up on popcorn.”

“Why?”

He stood and took me by the hand, leading me back out to the lobby. There was a table in the corner with flowers and candles, and a waiter waiting for us. I could see a bottle of champagne chilling in a bucket.

“Dinner and a movie,” Beckett told me. My hand was at my mouth.

“This is… Beckett, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble.”

He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “You’re worth the trouble Ella.”

Beckett held out my seat while the waiter uncorked then poured the champagne. I looked at Beckett, the candlelight was kind to his strong jaw and classically handsome features but to be fair he looked good in even the harshest daylight. It surprised me. I would have figured a man who got into as many fights as he did would look a bit more… damaged. On the outside at least. Inside I knew Beckett was constantly fighting a battle with his darker urges.

The waiter came back with two covered trays and placed them down in front of us. When he removed the silver lids a puff of fragrant steam escaped, revealing baked salmon and a side of grilled vegetables. Beckett gave the waiter a nod and the man disappeared down a corridor, giving us privacy. Soft music started to play through the speakers and I smiled. This was without a doubt the most romantic thing that had ever happened to me, and for a man who firmly told me he didn’t do romance, I could tell he was putting in effort. For me.

“You know,” I mused as I toyed with the stem of my champagne flute. “This is not at all the womanizing Beckett Carter you had warned me about.”

He grinned at me across the table. “Don’t make me bend you over that concession stand and let that side of me out.”

I laughed, then bit into a forkful of salmon. I closed my eyes as the moist, flaky fish moved over my tongue. It was soft and perfectly seasoned, buttery and light. I quickly took another bite.

“I wanted to do this for you Ella, after everything I put you through. You kept my secret, I know I can trust you. Even though I can’t give you a normal relationship, I want to give you everything you deserve.”

“Normal is overrated,” I assured him. “I just want you, Beckett. Both sides of you.”

I glanced around the room nervously.

“Don’t worry, he left. We’re alone.”

I bit my lip and folded my hands on my lap, choosing my words carefully. “Last night, on the news. Beckett, I saw the footage. I was so scared when I saw the man with the knife. Why were you there?”

“I was working off a lead. I knew they were blackmailing a number of local businesses for protection money, and that this owner refused to pay. It was just a matter of time before they went back. So I waited, and when they finally made an appearance I acted. I needed proof that these thugs were connected to Venetti, and now I have it.”

I sighed. “You’re not seriously going back after him Beckett, are you? Last time you were almost killed.”

“I don’t have a choice Ella, I need to do this. Otherwise everything I’ve been through is meaningless.”

I reached for his hand across the table. “That’s not true. That couple at the store yesterday, you saved their lives. As the Phantom, you have saved many people’s lives.”

His face was grim. “I’ve also killed too Ella.”

My shoulders dropped. He had blood on his hands, there was no denying that.

“Maybe men who make their living hurting women or attacking innocent people don’t deserve to be alive.”

Beckett’s head rose, his eyes meeting mine.

“Do you really think that Ella?”

I tucked my hair behind my ear and stared into my glass, the small champagne bubbles rising up and breaking the surface in a slow and steady rhythm.

“I don’t know Beckett,” I admitted. “But since I met you, since you saved my life, I guess the line between right and wrong has become blurry.”

“Maybe it always was blurry,” he told me. “We make rules and laws, but if the criminals don’t follow them why should we? I feel like the police are working day in and day out to keep order, but men like Marco Venetti buy and sell justice. I’m just trying to tip the scales.”

“Now that I know, I can’t hear about the Phantom without worrying about you Beckett.”

His face was stone. I could tell he wasn’t used to this, used to another person in the world who knew his secret and who worried about his life.

“I’ll be fine,” he muttered, breaking eye contact and focusing back on his meal. I sensed his reluctance to talk about it any further and followed his lead turning my attention to my meal. As we listened to music, sitting across from each other, the distance between us felt so much further than the small table we sat at. Inside Beckett was at war with himself. I knew I had made an impression on him, that he was letting me in, but there were still walls around his heart and I would only manage to break them down with patience. I knew what a lifetime of pushing people away looked like. What I didn’t know was if two damaged people could ever open up and truly trust each other.