- Emilia -

“I thought I'd find you here.”

Sophia comes towards me among the trees, wearing a two-piece outfit made from dinosaur skin and looking so much like a stone age woman I have to smile.

I straighten to stretch my back. “Hi. Yeah, well. It is the best place to find Cathay Blue. I'm glad we found a way to use it, at last.”

She picks one of the leaves from the bush and chews on it. It turned out that Cathay Blue works best when you just chew the leaves on their own, because they taste a little like spearmint and make your whole mouth feel fresh, with no hint of airplane fuel. “Yeah. The soil must be good here. You think we should make an herbal garden of some kind right here? Plant herbs and useful bushes so we don't have to go and search for them?”

I put another handful of leaves into the new pot I've brought. “Absolutely. This isn't that far from the cave.”

She scratches her thigh and looks around. “But further than anyone should go on their own, maybe.”

I shrug at her mild chiding. She's right. “Probably. Sometimes I enjoy showing this damn jungle that it doesn't scare me anymore. I mean, it still scares my pants off. But not like before.”

Sophia spits out the chewed leaf. “I know what you mean. I felt the same way after my weird escapades at Jax'zan's tribe. On one hand, I know that the woods are even more dangerous than I thought. On the other hand, I know more about the actual dangers. I don't have to imagine them anymore. I guess that makes them less ... threatening?”

I pick up my new spear and we start walking back to the cave. “Exactly. And I'm rarely on my own here.” I point in among the bushes, where Alice is busy taking a leaf apart and eating the stem.

Sophia waves. “Oh! Hi, Alice. Didn't see you there. Yeah, that helps. I know she can be fierce in protecting you.”

“Sometimes she is, and sometimes she's not. I know she doesn't like not-dactyls. Those are the only predators I've seen her attack. But they are the scariest things here, so it suits me fine. Other creatures I hope I can outrun. And I've made a climbing tree if a raptor comes snooping.” I point to the tree where I have built a primitive little ladder to climb up the first few feet of the trunk to where I can just climb further using the branches.

Sophia laughs. “That's pretty cool! My stars, Em, I think that caveman of yours has been good for you.”

I grin and take gently around her wrist as we walk. “I'm a little different from before, right? I can feel it. He broke me out of my shell. Just by being himself. He made me feel safe from the first minute, even hanging over his shoulder and running from raptors.”

“It's weird, huh? These guys have an aura of total safety around them. They're not even trying. It's just what they do. I mean, raptors and centipedes and not-dactyls are bad. But actually, the most deadly things in this jungle are our cavemen. I think I felt it from the beginning with Jax'zan. Like, instinctively.”

“Right. Ar'ox's prophecy said that he had to give me a gift. He had no idea that he did that from the moment we met. He gave me safety. And that was it.”

We stop on the top of a hill that overlooks the cave. There's smoke coming from the fire that we always keep lit and from the kiln where I'm firing another batch of pots. Some of the girls are sitting outside, doing useful things, wearing skins and leather and chatting calmly.

“Look at that,” Sophia says. “It's exactly how I imagine a stone age cave tribe. All those girls are super sophisticated and used to all kinds of technology from Earth. And here they are, sewing clothes from skins and weaving baskets and pulling bark from trees to use as fabric. It's crazy what kind of things you can get used to.”

“We have a good tribe,” I agree. “The best one around.”

We just stand there for a while, looking and thinking.

“You ever worry about the pregnancy?” Sophia asks quietly.

“I don't do much else,” I admit. “I would worry at home, too. But here, in the stone age, with no pharmaceuticals or ultrasound or anything? With the closest midwife seventeen thousand years of space travel away? And pregnant by an actual alien? Yeah, I worry.”

“Me too. I probably shouldn't say this, but you have no idea how glad I am that you're pregnant, too. I'd hate to be alone with that for the whole nine months. I mean, I know the girls would be totally supportive all the way. But when we're two, it kind of takes a little load off my mind. And the kids will be the same age. Always good to have a playmate.”

I squeeze her wrist. “Heck, maybe it won't be so bad. The tribes are able to keep babies alive straight out of the Lifegivers, so I think we can, too.”

Sophia nods. “Oh, absolutely. And it's not like we have a choice. We'll do our best. That's all we can do. Stars, Emilia, I'm happy I have you.”

I squeeze her wrist again so she knows I feel the same way.

This planet has made all us girls pretty physical with each other. We hug and pat shoulders and hold wrists and just touch each other much more than on Earth. It's like the planet strips away all pretense and all differences. We're just young women here, and we're in a tough spot. We're all the same. No reason to try to keep distance. It feels good. And, I realize, I really like my friends here.

I gaze over at Bune, the old spaceship. “Do you ever think we won't be able to leave?”

“That we're stuck here forever? Sometimes. But the thought is too big for me. I can't even imagine being here next month, much less ten years from now. I still sometimes reach out to grab my phone, but then I remember where I am. It's actually a thought I'd prefer not to spend much energy on.”

“I feel the same way. Still, we really should try to get home. I guess we'll have to look closer at that spaceship again.”

“After the light show, I don't think we have a choice. If it's still more or less working, it might be useful. The people that built it can't be that different from us. Hi, Ar'ox.”

My husband has quietly snuck up on us. Not to be sneaky, of course. It's just the way he moves in the woods. He puts his arm around me and kisses my hair. We're usually very careful with public displays of affection, because not all the girls have a guy to display it with. But Sophia does, so it's okay.

“Well, I'd better get back,” she says and touches my shoulder. “These sandals won't last much longer, and Caroline has promised to show me how to make new ones. She's the Jimmy Choo of Xren.”

“Totally,” I grin. “Best footwear designer on the planet.”

“And all ours. See, it's not all bad here.” She starts making her way down to the cave.

I turn to Ar'ox. “Just came to check on me, huh?”

“You're my wife,” he says simply, as if that explains everything. Which I guess it does.

I look up at his strong chin and hollow, muscular cheeks. I don't know if it's just because I've known him for so long, but he looks much more handsome to me now than when I first laid eyes on him. How did I ever luck out like this? “Find anything?”

“Not yet. I didn't expect to. Iron knows how to hide.”

“And you know how to search. I'm sure you'll find some.”

“For now, I'll use the red mud in the creek. It will be enough for your sessahs.”

“Cool. It's no rush.”

He places a hand on my abdomen. He's still completely awestruck about women being able to give birth, and he's asked me a lot of questions about it. “That's right. No rush.”

I lean my head onto his shoulder, just enjoying the moment. He smells of vegetation and smoke and leather, as well as his very own scent, spicy and dry. I'm married to the best man I've met, and I love him so passionately it sometimes takes my breath away.

“I love you,” I say, like I do many times a day, because I haven't said it to any man before and I'm kind of overflowing with it.

He squeezes me harder and kisses my hair again in response. He really likes my hair. So do I. I don't hate myself anymore. And that's because of him.

Down by the cave, Aurora takes some pots off the fire and says something to the other girls.

I shift the pot of Cathay Blue to the other hand and shoulder my spear. “Looks like dinner is ready.”

Ar'ox takes my hand. “Cool. Let's go.”

- - -

© Calista Skye 2017

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