Chapter Twenty-Four
LOGAN
“Logan.” Matt waved his hand in front of my face. “Are you even listening to me?”
No, I wasn’t listening to him. I could see him. I could hear the words coming out of his mouth, but I wasn’t listening. He could have been speaking Greek for all I knew, and it wouldn’t have sounded any different to me. No, I wasn’t listening to him.
Because I couldn’t stop thinking about Emma.
When I’d gotten that phone call from her the other night, saying she was hearing things, I’d immediately brushed it off as just being her overactive imagination. Her paranoia. But, when I’d heard her shriek and the line went dead, something inside me snapped. Even though I knew there would be a logical explanation for what was going on, it didn’t stop me from going into panic mode. I had to leave that party and make sure she was safe.
So, that’s what I did. I informed Riley I had to leave. She offered to come with me, but I declined. I asked Matt to take her home and I bolted.
And then broke the law by driving about fifteen to twenty miles over the speed limit the whole way home.
For the entire ride, I tried convincing myself that the fear settling in the pit of my stomach had everything to do with the safety of my baby sister and nothing more. Not that I wanted anything bad to happen to Emma, but there was no way the blinding dread that had taken over me could have had anything to do with her. It had to just be Abby.
But when I burst into the house and heard Emma’s voice…saw her…I couldn’t breathe for a moment. Of course, everything was okay. In the back of my mind, I’d known it would be. But seeing for myself that she was safe and sound, it was too much for me to handle.
And without thinking, I’d walked over to her, wrapped my arms around her, and pulled her close. I held her so tight I was probably cutting off most of her oxygen, but it didn’t matter. I didn’t hold her for long. Because as relieved as I was that she was okay, I was also furious with her for scaring me. For making me think something had happened to her.
So, I scolded her and made fun of the fact she was prepared to protect herself with a spatula.
A spatula.
That was so typically Emma.
Then, on the couch, I’m not sure what had come over me. My mind was still cloudy from all the wild thoughts and scenarios that had been playing in my head the entire way home. I wasn’t thinking straight. I wasn’t thinking at all.
And I’d almost kissed her.
I’d almost kissed Emma.
Emma.
I’d never been so relieved in my life to see my dad and Rachel. I wanted to leap off the couch and give each of them a kiss when they walked into the living room, interrupting what would have probably been the biggest mistake of my life.
I couldn’t kiss Emma. I didn’t want to kiss Emma.
I didn’t.
So why, after two days, couldn’t I get her off my mind?
“Sorry,” I muttered to Matt. I leaned forward and hid my face in my hands for a moment while I regained my composure and pushed all thoughts of Emma out of my brain. “What were you saying?”
It was the 4th of July and Matt and I were attending Justin’s annual Independence Day pool party/cookout—an all-day event that ended right after sunset, when everyone would get in their cars and drive into town to watch the fireworks.
If the events of the other night hadn’t taken place, I would have called Emma and forced her to go with me, but I was currently trying to avoid her. Much like Riley was trying to avoid me, apparently. She hadn’t spoken a word to me since I’d arrived.
“I was saying that—”
As soon as Matt started talking again, my attention was immediately drawn to something—or someone—on the other side of the pool from us.
“What’s that all about?” I interrupted him, motioning over to Grace. She was talking to a girl while holding up a video camera pointed at her face.
Matt followed my line of vision and smirked. “Oh, you don’t know? Grace is trying to become an Internet star.”
I blinked at him. “A what-now?”
Matt chuckled. “She’s documenting her summer vacation and uploading the videos on some website that’s looking to turn someone into the next big Internet reality sensation.”
I groaned and facepalmed. Apparently, I’d gotten out of that relationship just in time.
“Are you kidding me?”
“Nah, man,” Matt said with a grin. “I thought everyone knew.”
“Well, I didn’t,” I said. And then I made the mistake of glancing back over in her direction.
Her icy gaze met with mine and she immediately stopped talking to the girl in front of her and started making her way in my direction.
“Oh no,” I moaned. “She’s coming over here.” I contemplated getting up and leaving the deck. Or, better yet, leaving the party altogether. But she was too fast, and in the blink of an eye, she appeared before me, looming over me, encasing me in her shadow.
“And here is Logan Reynolds, my ex-boyfriend,” she explained bitterly to the camera. Her eyes flickered to me. “So, how have you been since you ripped my heart out of my chest and then stomped on it?”
I glowered at her and slouched back in my chair. “Grace, you broke up with me, remember?”
“I do remember. I broke up with you because you were cheating on me.”
“I wasn’t cheating on you,” I said through clenched teeth, and then stared directly into the camera and said, “I wasn’t cheating on her. She thought I had feelings for someone else, which I didn’t. She ripped my heart out and stomped on it.”
Grace forced a laugh and lowered the camera. “Nice try, Logan, but nobody’s going to buy that. You couldn’t have cared less that I dumped your sorry ass. If you had, you would have called. You would have tried to work things out with me. Instead, you moved on with your life like we’d never been together in the first place. Did you ever even love me?”
She pointed the camera at me again and I reached up and placed my hand over the lens. “Grace, if you want to talk about this, then you need to put the camera away. Otherwise, I have nothing more to say to you.”
With a huff, she removed my hand from her camera. “There’s nothing to talk about. I just wanted all my followers to see the face of the jerk who tried to ruin my summer. But FYI, I’m doing just fine without you.”
“Great, so glad to hear that,” I said sarcastically as she began to walk away. When she was gone, I turned to Matt and asked, “How was I with her for so long?”
Matt shrugged. “I don’t know, man, I always wondered that.”
I shook my head. “Okay, sorry about that. You’ve been trying to talk to me about something. What’s up?”
“Oh, it’s nothing, really,” Matt said, playing with the tab on the top of his Coke can. “I was just saying that I think I’m going to ask out Emma.”
I’d been in the middle of taking a drink of my own Coke when he finished his sentence, and I almost spit it out. “Wait, what? Emma who?”
He glanced at me sideways. “The only Emma we know, you moron. Your Emma.”
My Emma.
My Emma.
I stared at him, my mouth agape. “But why?”
He looked confused, like he wasn’t sure why he had to explain himself. “She’s cute. Actually, she’s kind of hot. I enjoyed playing mini golf with her the other night and it was pretty obvious she’s into me. I don’t know, I think she might be fun to hang out with. If nothing else, she might be a decent hookup.”
I felt a knot beginning to form in the pit of my stomach. My plan to get Matt and Emma together was working and I’d barely had to do anything other than having them hang out one time. It couldn’t have possibly been that easy, could it?
I should have been elated at this news. I should have been pulling him into a hug and giving him a bro kiss on the top of his head. I should have been thanking him for saving me from a family trip to New York. I was free. Once he asked out Emma and they went on a date, I was free. Free from the trip. Free from spending all my time with Emma.
Free.
But I wasn’t elated. That knot in my stomach was making me feel queasy. Swallowing hard, I spoke before I could stop myself.
“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” Matt asked, looking confused.
“Because,” I said, and I realized I suddenly had no control over what I was saying, “she’s not exactly your type.”
“Dude, my type is female, and she fits that description quite nicely.” He flashed me a grin.
I gripped the can of Coke in my hand so hard I almost crushed it. “Come on, let’s be real here. Dating her would be committing social suicide. Guys like you don’t date girls like Emma.”
Stop. Talking.
Matt shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “What do you mean, girls like Emma?”
“She’s a nerd. She’s boring and lame. She passed up a trip to Florida with her best friends so that she could stay behind and organize her book collection. Who does that?”
“Um, I don’t—”
“She’s never even had a boyfriend. That alone should be a red flag.”
I’m serious. Shut. Up.
“She’s a loser, Matt.” The words felt wrong on my tongue. They tasted bitter. But by this point, it was like somebody else had taken over my body and was speaking for me, and I was powerless to stop it.
Matt looked skeptical. “If she’s such a loser, why have you been spending all your time with her lately?”
I was really hoping he wouldn’t ask that.
“Because Rachel’s been forcing me to,” I replied, the knot in my stomach beginning to harden and grow. “I did something kind of shitty, and Rachel told me if I didn’t make it up to Emma, she’d convince my dad to make me go with them on their trip to New York in a couple weeks. So, that’s why I’ve been hanging out with her. It’s not because I’ve wanted to.”
Matt studied me for a moment before nodding slowly. He opened his mouth to speak, but Justin interrupted by calling out his name from over at the grill.
“I’ll be right back,” he said to me before getting out of his chair.
I blinked as my head started to clear up. What was I doing? Matt just told me he wanted to ask out Emma—which was the goal I’d been trying to reach for the last couple of weeks—and now I was trying to talk him out of it? What the hell was wrong with me?
“Wait, Matt,” I said before he had the chance to walk away.
“Yeah?”
“I’m just messing with you, man. I think you should ask Emma out. I actually think you two would be good together.”
Funny. Those words felt wrong, too.
He looked like he didn’t know what to think as he turned and headed over to Justin.
As soon as he was gone, I leaned forward and buried my face in my hands. I felt terrible. Horrible. I was such a jerk. I was ruining Emma’s chances with Matt. On purpose. All the girl wanted was to find love, and here I was, taking that possibility away from her. Again.
And I had no idea why.
I had to fix this.
Or, at the very least, I had to make myself feel better.
Taking out my phone, I got up and walked around the side of the house where it was more private, and I dialed Emma’s number.
She picked up on the second ring. “Hey, Logan.”
For a split second, I was worried this conversation was going to be awkward, considering we hadn’t spoken since…well, since I’d almost kissed her. But as soon as I heard her voice, my concerns flew out the window. Her voice sounded normal. Pleasant. Friendly.
I smiled. “Hey.”
After a pause, she said, “What’s up?”
I ran a hand through my hair. “Not much. I was just wondering what you were up to today.”
“Oh,” she said. “Nothing, really. My parents just left with your dad and Rachel to go to their friend’s cookout. I’m just chilling here with all my book friends.”
“All alone?”
“No, not all alone. What part of ‘book friends’ did you not understand?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. The girl had book friends. She was taking the definition of nerd to new heights.
“Emma, it’s the 4th of July. You should be out having fun with your real friends.”
“Yeah, well, my real friends are in Florida, so…”
“I’m not in Florida,” I pointed out.
She was silent for a moment before saying, “You consider yourself my friend?”
I shrugged even though she couldn’t see it. “Sure, I do. I mean, we hang out all the time. We talk. I don’t hate you as much as I used to. So, yeah. I think I consider myself your friend.” I paused and then added, “Whether you like it or not.”
She giggled, and it was like music to my ears. “I never thought I’d live to see the day you and I would label each other as friends.”
“Yet here we are.” I grinned as I nudged a random rock with my foot. “So, I was wondering if you were going to the fireworks later?”
“I wasn’t planning on it,” she said with a sigh. “I usually go with Chloe and Sophia, and since they’re not here, I figured I would sit this one out. I’m pretty sure going to watch fireworks by yourself makes you a loser.”
I cringed at her choice of words. Loser. I’d just told Matt she was a loser. Shaking my head, I said, “You won’t be by yourself. You can watch them with me.”
“I don’t know. I’m not really in the mood to hang out with your friends—”
“I meant we could watch them alone. Just the two of us.” Actually, I hadn’t known that’s what I’d meant until I’d said it.
“Oh.” She sounded relieved. “Well, in that case, sure. Yeah. I’d like that.”
I ignored the sudden quickening of my pulse. “Great. Pick you up a little after eight?”
“Sounds good,” she said. “I’ll go break the news to all my book friends.”
I rolled my eyes. “Dork,” was all I said before hanging up.
So, I was going to go watch fireworks with Emma. Alone.
Perfect. It would give me plenty of time to tell her about how my plan had worked. How Matt was going to be asking her out. She’d be so happy. I couldn’t wait to see the smile on her face.
The knot in my stomach twisted as I made my way back toward the party, but I paid no attention to it. It was nothing. Probably something I ate. Maybe a stomach bug.
It was the only explanation.