Chapter Thirty-One
EMMA
Logan: Emma can we talk?
Logan: Please? That video is not what u think it is.
I had read and re-read Logan’s last two texts about a hundred times since he’d sent them to me last night. And every time, my thumb lingered over the keyboard, itching to type out a reply.
But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not yet, anyway. I kept replaying the video in my head—and on my phone—and every time, it just made me feel worse. Because hearing his words never hurt any less.
With a sigh, I tossed my phone onto my bed and turned back to the bookshelf in front of me. I’d been working on my book organizing project since nine o’clock this morning and two hours later, I was almost done with it. Which, while exciting, was also disheartening. After I was done with that project, what did I have left? Besides my debilitating fear of flying, there were two major reasons I chose to skip the Florida trip with Chloe and Sophia: I wanted to organize my book collection, and I wanted to meet, and fall in love with, my perfect match.
And now I was almost done with the former, while the latter…well…you know how that turned out.
I picked up the last book from the floor. This was it. After I placed this on the shelf, the project would be complete. It was so anti-climactic. I’d had nearly an entire year-long build-up for this and it was done in two hours. Now, I had nothing left to do with my time.
Unless I wanted to come up with another way to organize my collection. Like, I could go really wild and crazy and organize by the colors of the spines, in alphabetical order by color—
My thoughts were interrupted by a knocking on the front door downstairs and I was thankful for that. I was becoming dangerously close to spiraling out of control with this whole organizing thing. But I was desperate. I was bored.
Placing the last book on the shelf, I took one wistful glance around my room, and then headed downstairs.
I had no idea who would be knocking on the door at eleven o’clock in the morning, seeing as though both of my parents were at work, but I fully planned on peeking out the side window first to see who it was. If I didn’t recognize the knocker, I would just pretend I wasn’t home.
I didn’t like to answer the door to strangers.
In the back of my mind, I wondered if maybe it were Logan standing on the porch, hoping I would answer the door so he could talk to me. I didn’t know how I felt about that prospect. Part of me didn’t want it to be him because I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk to him just yet. The other part of me, however, wanted it to be him so I could hear his side of the story, forgive him, and then go back to the way things were before yesterday. You know, like hanging out together. Making out together…
I closed my eyes tightly as I shook my head, trying to get rid of that thought. No, Emma, you do not want to make out with Logan again. Logan is a jerk who doesn’t like you. And you don’t like him, remember? Get over it. Move on.
The person on the other side of the door knocked again, breaking me out of my fog and reminding me to look out the window to see who was out there. Pulling the curtain aside slightly, I saw right away it wasn’t Logan.
It was Riley.
Confused, I swung open the door to reveal the last person, besides Logan, that I wanted to see at the moment.
“Riley,” I said, my voice tight.
“Hi, Emma!” she said brightly, flashing me a grin. “Can I come in?”
Even though she asked, she didn’t wait for a response. Instead, she brushed past me through the doorway and stepped into the foyer.
“Yeah, sure, come right in,” I said dryly, shutting the door behind her.
Riley stopped and glanced around. “Nice house. It looks a lot like Logan’s.”
It irritated me that she knew what the inside of Logan’s house looked like. Crossing my arms over my chest, I said, “That’s because our dads had these houses built around the same time and they decided to go with a similar floor plan.”
“Ah, I see.”
I eyed her curiously. I was pretty sure she hadn’t come over just to see what my house looked like. So why had she come over?
As if she could read my thoughts, she answered my question. “Look, Emma, I was wondering if maybe we could engage in some girl talk?”
Engage in girl talk? This was beyond weird. Riley and I had barely said anything to each other since she’d arrived up here; she’d been more focused on Logan than anyone else. So, why did she suddenly want to talk to me, girl-to-girl?
“Okay…” I said slowly.
“Great.” Riley smiled briefly before it faded. “Okay, I’m just going to cut right to it. I heard you’re going on a date tonight with Justin, and I’m here to strongly encourage you not to.”
I blinked. “Excuse me?”
“Don’t go out with Justin tonight.”
I shook my head in confusion. “How do you even know about my date with Justin tonight?”
“Logan was in my bedroom last night when Matt called and told him.”
It was like I’d been punched in the gut. Logan had been in Riley’s bedroom last night? I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. There was only one reason why he would have been in her bedroom…
“That’s it!” she exclaimed, pointing to my face. “That’s the look!”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Look? What look?”
“The look of jealousy I was telling Logan about.” Her lips curled into a smug smile. “I knew I wasn’t just imagining it.”
“Riley, what are you talking about?” I swallowed as a wave of bile began rising to my throat.
Logan was in Riley’s bedroom last night. Did they—
“Just so you know,” she said, “nothing happened. I wanted something to happen, but he politely turned me down.”
I let out a breath and the bile instantly dissipated. “Seriously?” How—or why—would Logan turn down a girl like Riley? It made no sense…
“Yes, seriously.” Riley ran a hand through her perfectly straight hair. “Not one of my finer moments, but I’ll survive. I didn’t come here to talk about Logan rejecting me, though. I came here to talk you out of going out with Justin tonight.”
“Why?” I asked. “Why do you care?”
“I don’t,” she said. “But Logan is beside himself with worry about you going on that date. He thinks Justin is bad news and just wants to use you for…well, you know.”
That wasn’t a surprise. I didn’t need Logan to have Riley tell me that. I wasn’t stupid. I knew all about Justin’s reputation. The whole town knew about Justin’s reputation. But I wasn’t going out with him because I wanted to, or because I thought I could be the one to change his bad boy ways. I was going out with him to annoy Logan.
Mission accomplished, apparently.
“Tell Logan he doesn’t need to worry,” I said. “I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself.”
“I’m sure you can, but Emma, do you even like Justin?”
I couldn’t help but snort at that question. Did I like Justin? Of course not! I barely knew the guy. And sure, he was hot, but I was pretty sure that was where his good qualities ended.
“That’s what I thought.” Riley smirked. “You’re just going on this date to get back at Logan, aren’t you?”
What would make her think that? Unless she knew about everything. The kiss. The video. “N-no,” I stammered.
“Oh, sweetie.” Riley placed her hands on my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye. “Just agreeing to go on that date was enough to get back at Logan, if that’s what you were going for. This is destroying him.”
My breath hitched in my throat. “W-why do you say that?”
Riley sighed. “Sorry, I’m not going to spell it out for you. You’re a smart girl. I’m sure you can figure it out on your own.”
Letting go of me, she took a step back. “You should go talk to him. Give him a chance to explain himself.” She paused and then added, “You may not think so right now, but Logan is a good guy.”
She moved toward the front door and then turned around. “No matter what, just please reconsider your date with Justin tonight, alright?” And with that, she let herself out of the house.
Well, that was weird.
So, nothing happened between Logan and Riley yesterday? I couldn’t help but feel overjoyed at the thought, but then I chastised myself for feeling that way.
Why did I even care?
I kept asking myself that question as I walked to the kitchen. After finishing my organization project, I deserved to take a break with a good book and an iced tea by the pool. The last thing I needed right now was to obsess over what Riley had just told me. Sure, nothing happened between her and Logan, but he’d still been in her bedroom. Why? Why had he spent the entire day with her instead of me?
Oh, that’s right, I had shunned him. I’d slammed the door in his face. I’d told him…
I’d told him his mother would be disappointed in him.
That was, quite possibly, the bitchiest thing I had ever said to anyone in my life. And I hadn’t even meant it; I just said it in the heat of the moment. No wonder he spent the day hanging out with Riley. She would never say something that terrible to him.
I was so distracted by my thoughts, I wasn’t even aware I had poured myself a glass of iced tea and had placed the pitcher back in the refrigerator. With a shrug, I grabbed the glass and my worn-out copy of Pride and Prejudice and went out the back door to the deck.
As soon as I took a seat on the lounge chair next to the pool, I removed my phone from my pocket and stared at it.
Call him. Text him. Follow Riley’s advice. Do something, Emma!
My pulse quickened as my thumb hovered over the power button, as I considered turning on my phone and calling him.
You can do this. Just find out why he said what he said, and if you don’t like his answer, then you at least get to slam the door in his face again! You’ll enjoy that!
I smiled at the thought. I would like that. A lot.
With my mind made up, I turned on my phone at the same time it chirped at me. I had received a text.
From Logan.
Logan: Can I come over? I have something 2 give u I think u will like.
That instantly intrigued me. What could he possibly have to give me that I would like? Biting my lip, I started to type back when another text came through.
Logan: Before u say no, I promise u won’t b disappointed.
And then immediately after, another one:
Logan: Please? I’ll b quick. I promise.
With a sigh, I began to move my thumbs across the screen, typing out a reply.
Me: Ok. Fine. Come on over. I’m out back, by the pool.
My pulse quickened as I tapped “send”. What had I done? I wasn’t ready to talk to Logan. Not yet. Or was I? I didn’t know. But now, I was stuck talking to him no matter what, unless I quickly ran inside the house and locked all the doors and windows—
“Hey.”
I jumped at the sudden sound of a voice behind me. Swiveling my head around, I saw that Logan had taken the shortcut to my backyard by jumping over the fence.
His signature move.
“God, Logan,” I breathed, “you scared me.”
“Sorry,” he said, giving me a half-guilty, half-heart-melting smile.
Averting my gaze, I stood from the lounge chair and stared down at the ground. “I hate it when you jump the fence like that.”
“I know,” he said, strolling over to me. “But not to worry, that was probably the last time I’ll ever be doing that.”
Curiously, I glanced at him, trying to figure out what he meant by that.
When our eyes met, I had to fight to keep butterflies from taking flight inside my stomach. Dang it. Why did he always have to look so good? Even in a stupid t-shirt and khaki shorts, he was infuriatingly gorgeous. Almost to the point where it made me forget for one second why I was mad at him.
“What do you have for me?” I asked, point-blank. I figured I might as well cut to the chase. The quicker we got this over with, the quicker he would leave, and the quicker I would stop recalling what happened the other night, in the front of his dad’s pickup truck…
“Can we sit and talk first?” he asked, motioning to the patio table.
I nodded as we both walked over to it and took a seat across from each other.
After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Logan cleared his throat and said, “Thank you for letting me come over. I know I’m probably the last person in the world you want to see right now.”
I nodded again, but this time I could feel the corners of my mouth threatening to turn upward into a small smile. The thing that sucked, and one of the main reasons I had been actively ignoring all of Logan’s texts and calls, was that Logan was nearly impossible to stay mad at. Sure, I’d spent the last seventeen years of my life being constantly mad at him, but after the last couple of weeks, I realized I was tired of hating him. Tired of being mad at him. Because at the end of the day, Riley was right.
Logan was a good guy.
But it still didn’t excuse what he’d said about me in the video.
“What do you want to talk about?” I asked, running my hand nervously across the table’s grainy surface.
He took a deep breath and let it out. “Everything. There’s so much I want to say to you, Emma.”
Once again, I had to look away.
“Starting with saying I’m sorry,” he continued. “And assuring you that nothing I said in that video accurately describes what I actually think of you.”
That was a start. “Why did you say it all, then?” I asked quietly.
Logan sighed again as he dragged a hand down his face. “Honestly? I have no idea. Or, at least, I had no idea at the time.”
“And now?” I asked. “Do you know now?”
“Yes,” he said without any hesitation.
I stared at him in anticipation, waiting for him to elaborate. “And…?”
He lowered his gaze to the table. “I don’t know, Emma. Those words…they just came out. When Matt told me he was planning on asking you out, it was a gut reaction.”
I swallowed. “Why?”
“Why?” he repeated, returning his gaze to me. “Because I like you, Emma.”
My jaw dropped as my heart practically leapt out of my chest. I was about to ask him to repeat himself, but I didn’t have to.
“I like you…a lot. And I’m not talking about the you I tried to get you to be. Although, that you is pretty great, too.” He paused to smile. “But I like the you you’ve always been: smart, stubborn, witty, annoying.” He paused again. “Beautiful.”
I couldn’t breathe. What, exactly, was happening here? Was Logan…confessing feelings for me? Impossible. Logan didn’t like me. He had never liked me, just like I had never liked him. Our lifelong relationship had been based on a mutual dislike of one another. It was what made our relationship so great—the fact that we had no relationship at all.
But that kiss the other night…that had changed things.
No, maybe it went even further back than that. Maybe—
“Emma,” he continued, “these past couple of weeks have made me see you in a different light. They’ve made me realize that I really enjoy hanging out with you. Even when you’re hyperventilating on a Ferris wheel or dragging me through an art museum. Ever since we started spending time together, I haven’t wanted to hang out with anyone else. Not with my friends, not with Riley. Emma, I just want to be around you.
“I feel like I’m a better person around you. Or, at least, you make me feel like I want to be a better person. And that’s…that’s why I said what I said to Matt on that video. Because I was jealous that not only did you like him, but that he liked you back. As soon as he told me he was going to ask you out, I knew I would never stand a chance with you. So, I said those horrible things, hoping it would change Matt’s mind. But what that video didn’t show was that right after Grace stopped filming, I came to my senses and told Matt that I was just messing with him. That I thought you two would be good together.”
I sat there, perfectly still, frozen by what he was telling me. I was hearing his words, but I was having a hard time processing them.
Logan likes me? Logan likes me…
“And as for what I said about Rachel blackmailing me to hang out with you,” he went on to say, “it’s true. She did, and that’s why I came up with this idea to help you get Matt. But Emma, it’s not why I continued spending time with you. I could have just bribed Matt to ask you out, but I didn’t. Because I genuinely wanted to help you. I don’t expect you to believe that, but it’s true.”
I could feel tears beginning to well up in my eyes. “Logan,” I managed to croak, but he wasn’t finished just yet.
“And this sort of leads me to why I really wanted to come over here; what I wanted to give to you.” He reached around and pulled something out of his back pocket. An envelope.
He placed it on the table in front of him, keeping it under his hand. He stared at it and said, “I also want to apologize for lying on that compatibility test. That’s how all of this started in the first place and I am truly sorry for that. You were right, what you said. It was selfish of me. I never once stopped and thought about how me lying on that test could impact somebody else. But it did impact somebody—you. I stole your opportunity for a summer romance with your perfect match, and I don’t blame you for hating me for that. But I’m here to make it all up to you. I’m here to give you what you deserve. What you should have gotten in the first place.”
My eyes lowered to the envelope. “What is that?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
Logan smiled. “My redemption, hopefully.” He pushed it over to my side of the table. “I like you—hell, maybe I’ve liked you all along—but I know I’m not the right guy for you. I don’t deserve you. I’ve been rotten to you our whole lives and for no reason other than I’m a jerk. But Emma…” His eyes searched my face, and I wondered what he was looking for. “Justin doesn’t deserve you, either. And honestly, neither does Matt. I know you’re in love with him, and he is a great guy, but you two aren’t destined to be together. He’s not the great love of your life.” He tapped his finger on top of the envelope. “He is.”
My eyes widened as I glanced back at the envelope. I was so confused, still reeling from everything Logan had just said to me. I didn’t know what to say. What to do.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, finally finding my voice. “Who is he?”
“Your real Number 7.”
I shook my head slowly back and forth. “I don’t…I don’t get it.”
Logan sat back in his chair. “I decided last night there was only one way to make all this up to you: I had to go back to the beginning. To the test. So, I called a few people and got the contact information of one of the Computer Club geeks—Alex Porter. I went over to his house and explained everything to him and asked if he would run your test results against the algorithm again—without my test in there to screw everything up, of course. He was hesitant at first, but a few Andrew Jacksons later, and he was on board. He ran the tests again, and that envelope—” he pointed to it, “contains the name of the guy you should have been matched up with.”
I could feel his eyes on me, as he waited for my reaction. I wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Did he want me to jump up and down, cheering? Did he want me to thank him profusely? I wasn’t even sure how I felt about all of this. One minute he was telling me he liked me and the next he was encouraging me to go be with someone else.
And boys thought girls were confusing?
“Logan,” I began, but once again, he interjected.
“I don’t know who it is,” he said. “I told Alex I didn’t want to know. But he saw the name, and good news: he happens to know for a fact that this guy’s match didn’t end up working out for him. But for now, he hasn’t been notified of his true match. Alex figured he wouldn’t let him know just yet, that way you could see the results first and if you weren’t happy with them, this guy doesn’t ever have to know. No harm, no foul. But if you are happy, then…” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Then Alex will notify him and you two can spend the rest of the summer together. Fortunately, you’ll still have plenty of time together before school starts back up in the fall.”
He pushed his chair back and stood. “I know this doesn’t make up for everything, but I hope it’s at least a start.” He took a step back. “Take care, Emma.”
With a small, sad smile, he turned and walked away. I opened my mouth to call after him, to stop him, but no sound came out.
I didn’t know what to do. I had never been so conflicted about anything before in my entire life. Part of me was elated to know that Logan liked me. He liked me. But another part of me really wanted to know whose name was in that envelope. This was the main reason I skipped the Florida trip. To spend the summer with my soulmate. And Logan had just delivered that opportunity to me.
I frowned as I watched him turn the corner around the side of the house.
What are you waiting for? Go after him! He likes you! You like him, too!
I stood with the intent of following him, but my feet remained planted firmly on the ground, not allowing me to move. My eyes fell to the envelope. Inside of it was the name of my perfect match. The guy I was most likely destined to be with. At least, for the summer.
There was no way I could pass up this opportunity. Just because I’d spent some time with Logan and we were getting along now, that didn’t mean we were meant to be together…right? If he had answered every question on that test honestly, he would have literally been the last person that algorithm would have ever matched me up with.
And then none of this would have happened.
Chewing on my bottom lip, I swiped the envelope off the table.
I knew what I had to do.