Chapter Twenty-Eight
LOGAN
I could feel my blood beginning to boil as I climbed behind the wheel of my Mustang and slammed the door shut.
I was mad.
Mad at myself for being so stupid. For not realizing or admitting to myself sooner that I had feelings for Emma. For saying horrible things about her to Matt that simply weren’t true.
I was mad at Emma for not letting me explain my side of the story. For thinking my mother would be disappointed in me.
I was mad at Matt for being the guy Emma was in love with, and for deciding—out of all the girls he could choose to date—that Emma was the one he was interested in.
But mostly, I was mad at Grace. In fact, words could not describe how angry I was at her for posting that video, which was why I was currently putting my car into gear and burning rubber out of the driveway.
Grace and I needed to have a talk, and I figured now would be a great time to pay her a visit.
It felt weird pulling up in front of her house. It had only been a few weeks since the last time I was over there, but it seemed like a lifetime ago. I had a lot of good memories of this house—of Grace’s bedroom in particular—but those memories were quickly fading.
I couldn’t get rid of them fast enough.
I was afraid she might have gone out early with her friends, so I was relieved to see her car was in the driveway when I arrived. I tried to remain calm as I got out of the car and walked up to her front door, but my fury came through when I pounded on the door. I could have just rung the doorbell, but that wouldn’t have allowed me to get some of my aggression out. The more I could get out of my system before I saw her, the better.
It took only a few seconds for the door to open, and suddenly Grace stood before me, looking like she was heading out for a photoshoot.
I studied her for a moment. Her makeup had been expertly applied. Her hair had been styled to perfection. Her curves filled out her halter top and short skirt as though the clothes had been tailored specifically for her.
But she couldn’t have looked more hideous to me at the moment and I found myself wondering how I’d managed to stay with her for so long.
Her lips curled into a sinister smile when she saw me. “Hello, Logan. What brings you by?”
She knew damn well what brought me by. My hands balled into fists at my sides. “What the hell is wrong with you, Grace?”
Grace’s smile only faltered slightly as she blinked innocently at me. “What are you talking about?”
“Cut the crap,” I said through clenched teeth. “Why did you do it? Why did you post that video?”
“Oh,” she said with a slight chuckle. “The video? That’s why you’re here? Logan, it’s no big deal.”
“No big deal?” I echoed. “You filmed a very private conversation without my consent and posted it for the entire world to see—tagging the one person you knew it would hurt the most.”
She rolled her eyes. “My fans wanted drama, so I gave them drama. Besides,” she said with a shrug, “you’re lucky posting that video is all I did.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Her smile disappeared as she stared at me with her cold, gray eyes. “Emma stole you from me. I could have—and should have—done a lot worse.”
I inhaled sharply and took a step back. This. This was what I was talking about to Emma, when I told her about why I’d lied on the compatibility test. I always had a sneaking suspicion that Grace would turn into a psycho if I ever broke up with her. I had no doubt in my mind that posting that video was the kindest thing she’d thought of. I shuddered to think of what other ideas she had come up with.
And I feared that whatever they were, it was possible they were still on the table.
“Listen, Grace,” I said, my voice low, “you leave Emma alone. Do you hear me? She had nothing to do with why we broke up, and I’d better not find out you’ve concocted some other scheme to get back at her, or—”
“Or what?” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and placed her hands on her hips. Her eyes danced around my face as her smile returned. “Why, Logan, if I didn’t know any better, I would think you had real, genuine feelings for the nerd.”
I took a deep breath and held it, trying to keep my anger to a minimum. “So, what if I do?”
She smirked. “Logan Reynolds? Having real, genuine feelings for any girl? Not possible.” She stepped out onto the porch and slowly made her way over to me. “If you weren’t capable of loving me, you’re certainly not capable of loving some ‘boring, lame loser’ like Emma Dawson.”
I winced at her insulting words, especially considering they were mine, but quickly recovered and gave her a smirk of my own. “Grace, I’m more than capable of loving someone…just not you. And this right here is exactly why. Emma didn’t do anything to you. She didn’t do anything wrong, but you posted that video anyway because you’re a terrible person. You intentionally hurt someone who didn’t deserve it.”
Grace threw her head back and laughed. “Are you serious, Logan? You think I hurt Emma?”
“Yes, I do.” What did she think was so funny about that?
Her laughter subsided, and her smirk returned. “Then may I suggest you go back and watch that video again. Because if I recall correctly, those were your words, coming out of your mouth, spoken in your voice.” She took another step closer to me, invading my personal space. “I didn’t hurt Emma, Logan. You did.”
Lifting up her chin, she motioned past me and said, “We’re done here. You may leave now.”
She turned around, whipping her hair at me, and stalked back into her house, slamming the door behind her.
With a heavy, defeated sigh, I returned to my car. Grace was right. I was the one who’d hurt Emma. Sure, Grace should have never filmed and then posted that video online, but I never should have said any of those things to begin with. Why couldn’t I have just been the supportive best friend? Why couldn’t I have just told Matt I thought it was a great idea that he was planning on asking Emma out?
Oh, that’s right. Because I was selfish. Because I wanted her all to myself, even though I wasn’t the one she wanted.
Emma was right. My mother would be disappointed in me.
I drove home in a fog, paying only enough attention to keep myself from running stop signs or hitting pedestrians. I wasn’t even aware I’d pulled into my driveway until I came to a complete stop and turned off the car.
My phone rang beside me on the passenger seat. Reaching over blindly, I picked it up and answered it.
“Hello?” I said. Deep down, I was hoping it was Emma, calling to say she was ready to hear my side of the story. But the voice that spoke back to me was not hers. It was Matt’s.
“Dude, what’s Grace’s problem?” he asked into my ear. “I just saw that video she posted online. What a wench.”
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I guess that’s one way to describe her,” I muttered.
“Please tell me Emma hasn’t seen it yet.”
“Oh, she’s seen it alright.” I leaned my head back against the headrest and stared up through the sunroof at the clear blue sky. “And now she hates me. More than usual, that is.”
Matt sighed. “I’m sorry, man. That sucks.”
“Yep. It does.” I paused for a moment. “You’re still planning on asking her out, right?”
It was Matt’s turn to pause. He was silent for so long, I thought maybe we’d been disconnected. “Matt?”
“No,” he said finally. “I’m not, actually.”
“What? Why not?” I sat up straight in my seat. “Matt, you need to still ask her out.”
“Sorry, man. Not going to happen.”
“This doesn’t have anything to do with what I said about her yesterday, does it?” I asked quietly, not wanting to know the answer.
He didn’t even miss a beat. “Absolutely.”
Dammit. This was all my fault. I’d successfully talked him out of wanting to date Emma. I was a terrible friend. Just a terrible person in general. “Look, Matt, I didn’t mean anything I said, alright? You’d be lucky to date Emma. Seriously, she’s—”
“Whoa, let me stop you right there,” Matt interrupted. “Logan, me not asking out Emma has nothing to do with what you said. It has to do with why you said it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Matt chuckled softly. “Dude, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out you’ve got the hots for Emma.”
I groaned and lowered my head onto the steering wheel. “What are you talking about?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
“You know what I’m talking about. The way you were talking about her yesterday, I could tell you really didn’t like the idea of me dating her, and you were trying to turn me off to the idea. At first, I thought it was because you actually believed the things you were saying about her, but then it all started to make sense. You don’t want me dating her because you want to date her. Logan, you’re in love with Emma.”
My jaw dropped as I sat back up. “I am not.”
“You are, too. And once I realized that, she became off-limits to me. You’re my best friend, Logan, I’m not going to pursue the girl you’re in love with.”
“I’m not in love with her,” I denied through clenched teeth. Did I kind of like her? Sure. Did I enjoy hanging out with her? Definitely. Was she an amazing kisser? Undoubtedly. But was I in love with her?
No. No way. I’d never been in love with anyone before. I wouldn’t even know how to be.
“You can deny it all you want,” Matt said, “but that won’t make it true.”
I sighed and shook my head. “Even if I was in love with Emma—which I am not—she’s not in love with me. She’s in love with you, Matt. You’re the one she wants. You’re the one she’s always wanted. She’s had the biggest crush on you for years now. If you want to be with her, then you should be with her. I’ll be fine with it. I swear.”
“Bullshit,” Matt said. “Look, Emma’s cool. I like her, but not as much as you apparently do. I’m not willing to ruin our friendship over a girl.”
Matt and I had agreed long ago that we would never let a girl come between us, and this was the first time that pledge was being put to the test.
It looked as though we had both kept our word.
And now, neither of us would end up with the girl.
“It doesn’t matter, anyway,” I mumbled. “Emma’s not a possession, and she doesn’t belong to either one of us. She hates me now more than ever, and she’s probably mad at you too because I’m sure she thinks you’re going to listen to what I said, and not ask her out because of it.” I frowned. “I really screwed this up, didn’t I?”
“Nah,” Matt said. “I don’t think so. Maybe she hates you right now, but she’ll get over it once she cools down. After you get a chance to explain everything, and tell her how you feel about her, I’m sure everything will be fine.”
I wished I could believe that, but I didn’t.
I opened the door and got out of the car. “Listen, Matt, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Yeah, sure. Are you going to be okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” I lied and disconnected.
I shut the door and leaned my back against the car. I pointed my gaze toward the Dawson house and stared up at Emma’s bedroom window.
Turning my phone back on, I dialed her number. I knew it was a waste of time, and that she would let it go to voicemail, but I didn’t care. I had to at least try.
Sure enough, after a few rings, her pre-recorded voice spoke up, telling me she was unable to take my call and to leave a message.
I paused briefly after the beep as I contemplated hanging up. But I couldn’t do that.
“Emma,” I said, keeping my eyes on her window, hoping to see her appear at any moment. “I know you hate me right now, and I don’t blame you, but please…we need to talk. There are things I want to say to you, but I don’t want to say them over voicemail or a text. I need to tell you in person. So, please, call me back.”
I ended the call, feeling defeated. She wasn’t going to call me back. She didn’t want to hear what I had to say. Even if I had the chance to tell her, she probably wouldn’t believe me, anyway. I’d lost her trust and I was unlikely to ever get it back.
“Hey, Logan!” came a cheery voice from across the street.
I turned my head to see Riley making her way over to me. I hadn’t seen her since I’d abandoned her at the party the other night to go home and check on Emma and she’d seemed pretty perturbed about that at the time.
Great, just what I needed—another confrontation with a girl who hated my guts.
“Hey,” I said cautiously, forcing a smile onto my face.
Surprisingly, she returned the smile. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as bad as I thought.
“What are you doing?” she asked as she approached. She leaned next to me against the car and followed my line of vision over to Emma’s house. “Being a creepy stalker?” she teased.
I snickered and raked a hand through my hair. “What’s up, Riley?”
She shrugged. “Nothing, really. I’m so bored. Matt’s gone for the day, and all I’m left with over there is Jade and her weirdo friends, and I fear they may be preparing for some sort of satanic ritual or something. I had to get out of the house before I became their human sacrifice.” She paused and then added, “Although, I’m probably safe, considering I’m not a virgin.” She ended with a wink and grin.
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. After the morning I’d had so far, it felt pretty good.
“If you’re not doing anything today, would you like to hang out?” she asked.
I glanced down at my phone. It had only been a minute since I’d left that voicemail with Emma, and even though I knew she wouldn’t call me back, I would probably spend the entire day checking my phone every few seconds on the off chance that she would.
That was no way to spend a beautiful, sunny, hot summer day.
“I’d love to,” I said, stuffing the phone back into my pocket. “We could go to Funland Park. Have you been there yet?”
She threw her head back and laughed. “Not since I got up here, no, but I did go there a few times as a kid. Do they still have that sketchy metal roller coaster that feels like it’s going to collapse every time you ride it?”
I nodded. “Not only do they still have it, but they’ve never upgraded it, so it feels even sketchier than it did when we were kids. You should hear the sounds it makes. I swear, one time I was standing near it, a screw came out of nowhere and landed right in front of me. It had to have come from the ride. Screws don’t just fall out of the sky like that from nowhere.”
Riley giggled and hit my arm. “You’re making that up!”
“I’m not,” I said with a grin.
“Yeah, right.” When her giggling subsided, she said, “Well, I can’t wait to ride it. I like a good thrill.”
My grin faltered as the connotation of what she’d said was not lost on me.
Don’t do this, Logan. Tell Riley you don’t want to hang out after all. Go to Emma instead. Knock down her front door if you have to. Barge into her house and demand she listen to you. Apologize for every terrible thing you’ve ever done to her. Tell her you love her. Kiss her. Kiss every last bit of breath out of her. Hold her close and never let her go again…
I pushed all those thoughts away. Emma didn’t want me. She hated me. No amount of apologizing or groveling would change that. Even if she did forgive me, we were never going to be anything more than just neighbors. Acquaintances.
After one last glance at Emma’s house, I turned back to Riley.
“I like a good thrill, too,” I said, my lips forming into a smirk as I motioned toward the car. “Hop in.”