Blayne

 

 

Romance is likely; strike up a conversation.

 

 

Things had been perfect. Okay so life was never that perfect and there was always something happening in the background, but things had happened that had the power to make the bad stuff look like it was nothing.

Being with Chase was like that. It made me forget that the crappy stuff around my life was there. It made me not worry about the bad things that were supposed to bother me, and it made them less frightening, less depressing. Somehow, because I was with him, everything was better because he made it better. There hadn’t been a single day that I regretted being with him or regretted making that decision. I even started writing again, which was a bigger deal than the fact that I was finally starting to let my walls down, at least around Chase.

“Blayne,” I heard Chloe’s voice as I come out of the bathroom.

“Yes?” I went over to the dressing table to blow dry my hair. “What weird place are we going this time?”

She looked taken aback. I could see her reflection in the mirror and I was enjoying it. “Do you have psychic powers?”

“Living with you all this time might have done it. Now, please. Tell me.”

“Anna and Jeremy are coming to pick us up.”

“So?”

“So, you need to get ready,” she said, and I noticed she was wearing the skankiest top in the history of female clothing but it looked amazing on her.

“I don’t know Chloe,” I said. “You’re going to hook up and they’re already hooked up, and I don’t feel like being by myself tonight.”

“Come on, that only happened a couple of times!” Chloe argued. “In my defense those men were gorgeous.”

“I think it would be better if you guys went without me.”

“You’re coming,” she said with finality in her voice. “I won’t take no for an answer. You’ve been hanging out with Mr. Smarty Pants all month! I will seriously bug the living crap out of you if you don’t go. You won’t be able to go back to your precious research, which is what you were planning on doing anyway, I know that much.”

“Real mature, Chloe.”

“Who cares!” she almost cried. “Please, we’re getting late just do it!”

“Fine,” I said. “Just leave me alone and I’ll get dressed, alright?”

Chloe happily walked out of the room. I picked out a dress and a pair of earrings from Chloe’s collection, then choose a pair of high heels that I knew I would never be comfortable in, but I wanted to wear them. When Jeremy and Anna came in after about ten minutes, I could tell Anna was high.

“Chloe she’s not okay to drive,” I said when the couple wasn’t looking. “One of them better be sober enough to drive. It’s not going to be me.”

“Don’t worry,” Chloe said. “Jeremy is fine. I promise. Now let’s go!”

So, Jeremy drove us to the venue and he wasn’t high or drunk. In fact, I had never seen him that sober. When he stopped the car, we were at a building where there was no sign of an entrance. He got out and Anna did too and I was walking behind with Chloe.

The neon sign on the entrance said DRENCHED in bold, daring purple.

“This doesn’t look like a place we should be entering Chloe,” I said when we were frisked by a bruiser in front of a massive gate. “Are you sure about this?”

“This one is a bit more private than the others,” Chloe said. “Just trust me.”

When someone said trust, me it was a sign you shouldn’t trust them. But since it was Chloe I went along with it. I could hear the music and the laughter before we’d even entered the main building. The closer I got to the place the more I saw the strangest couples in the strangest costumes, passing us by. There was a theme to the costumes but I don’t think I was dressed for it. I was about to ask someone what was going on, when I found myself in the middle of something that looked like an audience. In the middle of the room, was a stage, where there were two performers, a couple, male and female, and the male and female were dressed skimpily and dancing in cages.

“Oh my God,” I blurted when I saw what was happening on the floor. “Chloe!”

But Chloe looked as surprised as me. I was certain Jeremy and Anna forgot to tell us where they were taking us and she was a bit annoyed too.

“What the bloody fuck?!” That was the sound of her jaw dropping.

The girl on the stage floor she now had her back to the audience and she was in lingerie made with leather and the male proceeded to tie her to a giant ‘X.’ I told myself I couldn’t possibly watch what was going to happen next without getting scarred for life. I mean, I get that some people get off on this stuff, and that’s fine, it’s…not my thing.

I felt Jeremy’s hand grabbing hold of mine as he led me away from all this, and I was quick enough to drag Chloe’s hand so she came along too. Anna was giggling and obviously having a lot of fun at our expense. “You haven’t seen the best part,” she said and that worried me.

“Great,” I managed. I gave Chloe a glare but now she was also laughing. “Am I the only one who takes this stuff seriously?”

I didn’t stop walking until I was outside that arena.

And that was when it dawned on me: We were in a sex club.

That was what these people did. This place was here, so people can come here and do that.

“Is it me or is this whole thing incredibly hot?” Chloe said.

“Of course, it’s hot,” Anna said.

From somewhere Jeremy entered the picture. “Are you going to stand there?” he said to Anna. “Or are we going to get started?”

“Get started?” I said, confused.

Jeremy pulled Anna close to himself and kissed her cheek. “We come here sometimes,” he said and pointed to a hallway. “Those over there, are the private rooms. Members can book them and do whatever they want.”

“But we’re not members,” Chloe said.

“I got a free pass,” Jeremy said, grinning. “For all four of us.”

“Let’s go,” Anna said, in a low whisper and they went off toward the room and disappeared into the hallway.

Just like that they were gone.

“What are we supposed to do now?” I asked Chloe.

“I don’t know,” Chloe said. “Let’s explore.”

“Explore what?” I was about to ask her when I saw a couple walking toward us. But then I realized they weren’t walking toward me, they were going toward the private rooms. I couldn’t see their faces, the lighting was too dim, but the guy was in a suit—the same suit I had seen someone else wearing not more than an hour ago.

“Chase?” I said, a little too loudly.

He turned toward me and I could see his face more clearly now, but the girl was wearing a blonde wig and her face was not visible because of the dim lighting. “Blayne?” he said and even the tiny bit of doubts were suddenly confirmed. I was filled with rage and the only thing I could think of doing was to storm out. When Chloe called after me I told her I needed to be alone and kept walking until I was breathing fresh air.

“Blayne wait!” I heard him calling out and he grabbed my arm, pulled me toward him.

“Let go of me!”

“It’s not what it looks like,” Chase said. “She’s a friend.”

“Yeah,” I said. “That’s why you’re in here with her after telling me you were busy with work! You lied to me, Chase!”

“I didn’t…Blayne I never lied to you. After you left, she called and I’ve never told you about her so I didn’t see the point in telling you where I was going. I thought I was going to be done and I would go back to work.”

“You’re lying.”

“Blayne she’s a friend.”

“That’s why you were taking her to the private rooms?”

“Her name is Sydney. She works here. We used to go out but that was years ago. We’re friends now. And not very close at that. She needed my help with something, so I had to come. I couldn’t talk in front of the people she works with so we were going to the empty rooms. To talk, Blayne.”

“I don’t buy it.”

“I would never lie to you.”

“I don’t buy it!”

The look on his face changed. “Blayne,” he said. “Why don’t you do us both a favor and say what’s really bothering you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t hate that I was with some other girl,” he said. “You hate that you found me in a sex club!”

“Pardon me for being normal!”

This time he looked hurt. “Normal?” he said. “Right. Cause I must be completely fucked up if I’m into this stuff.”

“Chase—”

He let go of my arm. “You know what, Blayne? I’m glad you found out. At least now I don’t have to pretend that sex between us is fine!”

“Wait…you’re saying the sex is bad?”

“I’m saying it could be better.”

“Well I’m sorry if I don’t appreciate the same kind of perverted…twisted form of intimacy that you seem to enjoy!”

“Perverted, huh?” his blue eyes were on fire. “Well tell you what. Why don’t you go back to your boring life and your boring normal shit, while people who still have a sex drive can actually enjoy themselves in bed!”

“Hey, I’m plenty good in bed!”

“You’re like one of those mind-numbingly boring housewives who refuse to give their husbands a blow job and then complain when they go to prostitutes!”

“You really think this is going to work? This whole reverse psychology thing?”

“No,” he said. “I know it won’t. So please. Do us all a favor and go back to your rule-book, missionary-position sex!”

“Come on Chase what I saw back there…that wasn’t right!”

“Neither were blow jobs in the eighteenth century, but guess what? People change Blayne! People learn new things. You still think your body is like holy thing that you need to keep in lock and key. Well you know what; it’s not that big of a deal. You know we’re right for each other. You know how I feel about you. I read the books you read, Blayne. Every damn hero in those novels is this sensitive superhero, psychic guy who comes to you quietly at night and fills your room with flowers. But I send Stanton to your motel to make sure you’re okay, and that’s stalking? What do you really want Blayne? Why is it okay for a fantasy character to do something but when a normal guy does the same, it’s wrong?”

“Don’t do that,” I said, mad.

“Do what?”

“This,” I said. “Making up an excuse for fucking some woman like Nick used to do. Like somehow it’s my fault!”

“I wasn’t sleeping with her!” he snapped, his voice breaking just a little.

“That’s what Nick kept telling me all this time.”

“Well, I’m not Nick!!!”

“Not if I can help it.”

“What do you want from me?”

For the first time, I calmed down a bit. “I have to go,” I said, because I didn’t think I could make any good decisions right then.

Chase looked disappointed. “Fine,” he said. “Go back to your stupid life and your boring rule-book. This isn’t something you’re capable of anyway. I’m sure that’s the reason Nick ventured out too.”

He did not just say that.

I looked up at him and this time, I meant business. “You have no idea what I’m capable of,” I said and there were some crazy ideas going through my mind. I hated that he thought he could say these things and get away with it. I couldn’t believe he was trying to make up a lame excuse for being with another woman, like Nick used to do. Well, Nick deserved to be treated a lot worse for what he did, but I never got around to doing it. But as far as Chase was concerned, I could still do something to make sure he regretted this. I ran a hand through my hair, to make sure they were okay and headed in the direction of the club.

“Blayne, where are you going?” I heard him calling out for me, but I didn’t stop.

The music and the applause got louder the closer I got to the stage. I started unbuttoning my shirt, thankful for the camisole I was wearing inside. I found the first guy holding a drink and I smiled at him as I took his drink. He didn’t say a word and looked on, holding me with his gaze. He was cute and when I returned his glass, he smiled. I gestured to the floor where the previous couple is getting off by now. “Would you like to do this with me?” I asked the cute guy and he smiled even wider.

“I’m always up for it,” he said.

I tried to smile. “Lead the way.”

I turned to look at the floor and I realized I was more drunk than I cared to admit. Someone grabbed my arm to stop me. “Blayne,” I heard the silent fury in Chase voice. “Stop this!”

I yanked my arm away from his grip. “You think you’re hot, don’t you? Well I’m going to show you what it feels like to be so full of yourself. I’m going to stand in the middle of the floor and the eyes of every sad pathetic loser in here will be on me! How’s that for boring?”

“Blayne…” he tried to get a hold of me but I was quick at slipping away.

This time, when I turned, I didn’t look back.

The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of the same stage, the burning glow of lights directed on me and there was the same guy standing there, and he was asking me what I would like to do. That’s when I realized I was making a mistake. Maybe Chase was right and he wasn’t here because he was sleeping around. I had trouble believing anything since Nick broke my heart, but was that me now? Paranoid and distrustful? Was I going to push everyone away because one guy wronged me?

“Well?” the cute guy asked. “Have you decided or what?”

I looked at him and he was good looking, attractive in every way, muscled physique, and everything. But I didn’t want him.

The only guy I still really wanted, even right now was that stupid jerk standing there in the corner who I just caught with some dumb bitch with a wig, and I had to teach him a lesson. I had to show him, that if he tried to pull this kind of shit or called me boring, there would be consequences. You couldn’t tell someone you were bad in bed and get away with it! He needed to see I was desirable. This guy standing in front of me was proof of that. But you called him a liar. And a cheat.

You know he didn’t mean it. You know no one can fake the chemistry you had in bed with him. He said that because he was hurt. And angry. Just like you.

Perhaps this was right.

This club, these crude, horny men, who wanted to fuck. They were all looking at me and I was getting all kinds of glares, stares and then people started yelling and they were urging me on now because I was taking a lot of time thinking. Maybe this was what men were capable of, maybe they didn’t really want relationships and they messed up when they had one. For a minute, I wanted to be that person who would enjoy a set up like this one. But I know that even if I did it as part of a drunken mistake, it wouldn’t last for me. The shouts were getting louder and the audience demanded a performance. The host, dressed in leather essentials, came toward me and because he knew I might need help, he brought me a drink. I almost took it from his hand when I felt Chase’s fingers on my arm again. He was standing right there, under the light on the floor with me.

“Are you done?” he asked. The anger hadn’t left his face. “Or are you going to see this through?”

I looked around at the audience. Being bold may have sounded like a good idea at the time but now it was stupid. Suddenly, I was thankful for Chase. I wasn’t sure what I would have ended up doing if it wasn’t for him. But still, I was exasperated.

“You don’t understand the concept of backing off, do you?” someone said and I realized it was me. What was wrong with me? Was I on auto pilot? I had to stop, accept the fact that I needed help. His help.

Chase was watching me with something that was a mix of anger, frustration, and love. “Please,” he said. “You made your point. Let’s get off the floor and talk. If you still feel like you want to take your clothes off in front of these people, then I won’t stop you. I’m here to make sure that’s what you really want.”

The host was getting annoyed by now and asking me if this was going to happen because other people were in line, waiting. I didn’t think I wanted to keep them waiting any more. I broke away from Chase’s grip and stormed off the floor this time, kept walking, again, till I was outside, away from that world. I didn’t care that the crowd was not pleased and I didn’t care that I made a fool of myself again. Tears came to my eyes and I didn’t stop them. I could hear Chase walking up to me.

“What the hell was that Blayne?”

“What? Not bold and dangerous enough for you?”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “But I didn’t mean any of that, I was just pissed off!”

“Right.”

“You called me a liar, Blayne! You said I was a pervert! When I hadn’t done anything. Sydney is my friend. Everyone in the club can confirm that for you. I didn’t lie to you and I had no intention of cheating on you.”

I looked into his eyes and I knew he meant it. But what I didn’t know is if people were capable of being truthful. “Why didn’t you tell me about the club?” I said. “Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

“Blayne,” he said. “We’ve barely been going out for a month. I didn’t want to freak you out. That’s why I didn’t tell you about the club. And Sydney, she just never came up.”

“You told me all those intimate things. You could have told me this!”

“Tell me honestly,” Chase said. “What was your first impression when you saw that scene? You were shocked, and you didn’t like it one bit. You were out of your element.”

“I won’t deny that. So yes, I was shocked for like five damn minutes Chase! And that’s only because this whole thing was unexpected. But I got over it!”

Wow. That flew right off my tongue, didn’t it? Chase was staring at me and looking more surprised than I felt.

His eyes were full of some strange emotion I didn’t quite understand. It was more than love, a lot more than plain lust. “Blayne, you don’t have to say something like that to prove something to me.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do here.”

He looked like he didn’t believe it for a second and then he inched closer to me. “I’m sorry about all the stuff I said about our lovemaking,” he said. “I was angry. I love what we have. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t get off on it. I love everything about you, Kitten. You need to trust me. The only person I want to fuck is you.”

I must have been blushing. Even the alcohol inside my system couldn’t stop that from happening. I was giving away a secret but only because I wanted to make sure he didn’t get the wrong impression. I wanted to make sure he realized that I wasn’t going to judge him for having certain tastes, even if they were new to me. I wanted him to be comfortable with me, just as I always felt comfortable with him.

“I don’t like admitting this, but it’s true,” I said. “It’s not the first time I’ve fantasized about us. But I just…I don’t know, for me sex can never be something that I do with a stranger. For me, this has to be something…”

“Intimate,” he finished for me.

He pulled me in closer and kissed my forehead. It was such a sweet gesture most of my anger curiously subsided. Then he tilted my head up and found some leftover tears on my cheeks that he promptly wiped away with his fingers. His touch was so warm, so loving and so special I couldn’t help but look into his eyes again. “I don’t know what I want,” I said at last. “I am having some mixed feelings here.”

“Listen, I don’t expect you to get over your past right away! There’s nothing to freak out about. We can start small.”

“How small?”

“Dinner and a date small.”

Somehow, I couldn’t help but grin.

“We won’t do anything,” he said. “We’ll just have a good time. I’d never do anything to hurt you and I’d never do anything that you’re not comfortable with. You know that, right? Knowing that you’re mine, that you’re devoted to me, that’s what matters most.”

I didn’t know how to respond. Chase’s hand reached mine. “I want you Blayne,” he said. “I want you like I have never wanted anyone in my life. And I won’t stop until you want me the same way.”

I couldn’t help that his words made a lot of sense. “Do you have to go back in there?”

“Sydney’s father died recently,” Chase explained. “She needed money. I was the only person she could ask. She’s never asked me for help before. I couldn’t refuse. But if you have a problem with me going in there—”

“No,” I blurted out. “No! You should go. It’s fine. Really.”

“You’re sure?”

“Of course.”

Chase cupped my face with his hand. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I don’t know, I just feel…strange.”

“Blayne,” he said, a grave seriousness in his voice. “Do you want to be with me?”

I looked up at his face, and I knew the answer to that. “Yes.”

“Then I guess you’ve made a choice, haven’t you?”

“This feels more like a compulsion, than something I’m choosing.”

“That’s called love Blayne,” he said.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit soon to use that word?”

“Maybe it is. But it doesn’t change the way I feel.”

“What if you’re an axe murderer and I don’t even know it!”

Chase grinned. “You do realize there’s no basement in the loft?”

“So, what I should go out with you because you don’t have a headless body hanging in your basement?”

He took my hand to his lips and kissed it. “You should go out with me because you are just as fucking hooked to me as I am to you.”

“Is everything okay, Blayne?” Chloe said and jolted me out of my thoughts.

“Chloe,” I said, wiping off the few remainder tears. “You’re here.”

“Do you want me to go back inside?” she asked.

“No,” I said, trying to smile. “No, we should head home now.”

“If you want to stay,” she said. “You should. I can go home and have wine on my own for one night.”

“Actually,” I said, walking over to her. “Chase has to go. Right?”

“Right,” Chase said.

“I’ll see you,” I said to him.

He looked a little lost. “I’ll talk to Sydney and then go back to work. My phone is on.”

“Okay,” I nodded and then Chloe and I walked toward Jeremy’s car and Chloe called him. While we were waiting for them to arrive, Chloe started with her questioning. “So?” she said. “What was that all about?”

“She’s a friend,” I explained. “He was here to help her out.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I just am.”

“Do you want to find out more about him?” Chloe asked. “I’m sure Jeremy can help.”

“No,” I said. “I’d rather find out on my own. Besides, I know he’s not hiding anything. He’s not Nick, I know that now. I think I just saw the two of them, and assumed the worst.”

“Anyone would have,” she said. “To be honest, I still don’t believe it.”

“But we have to.”

“If you say so.”

“We’re fine,” I said, more to myself than to her.

My phone rang.

It was Chase so I picked it up.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hey.”

“Can I see you tomorrow?”

“I don’t know, Chase.”

“If you don’t then I’ll feel like you haven’t gotten over this,” he said.

“That’s not true.”

“Then prove it,” Chase said. “I’ll come pick you up and we’ll do the breakfast ritual Kira has been avoiding for the past couple of weeks.”

“That’s because of us,” I said. “I think she’s trying not to waste our time.”

“So, can I pick you up from Chloe’s place?”

“Sure.”

“Great.”

“Yeah.”

“Blayne?”

“Yes?”

“You looked hot,” he said. “So hot I wanted to rip those clothes right off you.”

I couldn’t help grinning despite myself. “I’ll try to take that as a compliment.”

“The next time I see you,” he said. “Those clothes won’t be there.”

“We’ll see about that,” I said and pushed the end button.

“What are you grinning about?” Chloe asked.

“Nothing,” I said. “Just nothing.”