Chapter Twenty-Nine
THATCH
The paper from my office was burning a hole in my pocket.
The paper on which Austin’s mom had written her cell number and circled it a few hundred times.
I suspected that she wanted to know what I knew.
Which was a hell of a lot.
But I wasn’t going to say anything.
Maybe I had it wrong; maybe she was seeing how it was possible that I wasn’t saying anything to Austin or going to the press. Then again, I could be wrong about every damn thing and her mother didn’t even know.
Hell.
Cheating.
You don’t cheat by accident; your dick doesn’t just slip into another woman, the same way a woman doesn’t trip over her own feet and lock lips with another man.
Damn it.
I didn’t call the number.
Austin was snoring lightly next to me. She was the only good part of all of this, and I had to trust that she loved me enough to weather any kind of storm.
I lay awake, staring up at the ceiling, my thoughts going back to that night when I realized my parents weren’t who I thought they were.
“Hello?” I tossed my keys onto the kitchen counter and frowned. My dad was supposed to meet Mom at the house and take her out for their anniversary, but shocker, he couldn’t make it, so as a nice surprise, I decided to take her out for a meal. It was the least I could do. “Mom?”
I moved through the dark house.
Toward the back bedroom.
The light crept underneath the door. There was soft music playing and then, a noise that sounded a hell of a lot like sex.
I almost didn’t open the door.
I wish I hadn’t.
But I was young, and stupid.
Only nineteen, I’d just moved out of the house; the world was my oyster and life was good—my family was rich, my parents were paying for my undergrad, and I was going to change the world by following in my father’s footsteps.
Seriously.
I wanted for nothing.
And I had no idea what the real world was like—had no idea that the reality of human existence meant pain.
I pushed the door open.
And saw my mom riding our lawn guy.
Reverse cowboy.
“Mom.” I was too numb to walk out, to run away.
“Thatcher!” she yelled, and tried to cover up her body. “Where . . . ? I thought . . . ?” Her eyes clouded with tears. “Your father, he was supposed to be here . . .”
“But he’d see!” I yelled. “He would see this!”
She was silent.
And then it occurred to me.
That was her plan all along.
To hurt him.
Like he was hurting her.
He’d been cheating on her all my life.
But I never—never thought my mom would stoop to his level, to cheat on him back, to try to make him hurt so much. I never thought that she would be hell-bent on revenge in her quest to take him down—hurting me in the process.
“Thatcher . . .” Her voice was wobbly. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart, it’s not what it looks like, it’s only been a few times and—”
“Stop!” I yelled, backing up. “Just stop!”
I cut my parents off that very day.
Our family couldn’t survive their selfishness. And I was the collateral damage.
I took out student loans and supported myself.
And didn’t look back.
“Thatch?” Austin’s voice sounded in my dream. I blinked my eyes open at her worried expression. “Are you okay?”
“Of course,” I lied. My heart was hammering against my chest, and I felt like I was going to break down any minute. They say the past always comes back to haunt you if you don’t deal with it.
“You were yelling,” Austin whispered. “Talk to me.”
I wanted to.
It was on the tip of my tongue to blurt it all out—but it would destroy our happy moment, I just knew it. Sharing any part of that would be too much, and she’d be done with me.
And I wasn’t sure I could emotionally handle having another woman I cared about hurt me—or what was worse, another woman that I loved not fighting for what we shared together.
“Go back to sleep.” I reached up and kissed her forehead, my lips lingering on her skin before I flipped her onto her back and searched her eyes for permission.
“Whatever you need,” she whispered, reaching up for me.
Her. I needed her.
I was just afraid that I was going to lose her.
That was it.
It was fear talking.
Nothing more.
Yeah, I was a shit liar.
Especially when it came to lying to myself.
I was inside her within minutes, driving away my demons the only way I knew how—sex.