Chapter Nineteen
THATCH
“I’m in fucking hell.”
“Cheer up.” Lucas slapped me on the back. “It can’t be that bad.”
“That. Bad,” I growled. “Did you not hear what I just said? How the hell did you do this? Work with Avery without using whatever power you had as her boss to make her—”
Lucas grinned. “No, keep going. I’ll just beat the shit out of you rather than offer you whatever wisdom I was going to bestow.”
Groaning, I finished my burger and wiped my hands. “I’ve worked with her four days. It’s Thursday, Lucas, and I’m ready to lose my mind.”
“Don’t forget you still have to fake an injury or sickness so you don’t have to go riding with her dad tomorrow.”
“Helpful,” I said through clenched teeth. “I’m not sleeping, I’m constantly hard as a rock around her—yesterday, a middle-aged grandmother came in for Botox, Austin watched and kept sucking on her lower lip, and I literally had to excuse myself like I was ready to shit my pants—and go take care of business.”
Lucas burst out laughing and then stopped when I glared. “Sorry, it’s not funny.”
“She is shadowing me for two more weeks.” I groaned into my hands. “It’s a nightmare, a complete and total nightmare.”
“What if she shadows another doctor?”
“I sent her to Turner’s office, and that jackass checked her out so long that he’s lucky to still have all of his teeth, no chance in hell am I dangling her in front of the single partners.”
“Hmm.” Lucas grabbed his sunglasses and twirled them around in his hand. “So, let me get this straight. You’re going crazy because you want her, but you don’t want her, yet you don’t want anyone else to want her? Do I have that right?”
I opened my mouth, then shut it.
“Still feel like keeping silent on why you broke up with her after she was willing to forgive you for tonguing another woman?”
The silence was going to eat me alive.
Right along with the guilt.
And shame at why I did what I did.
But I’d prefer to have all of it and protect her rather than leave her exposed in the way her family already was.
Just thinking about it made me sick to my stomach.
“You look pale,” Lucas whispered.
“I gotta go.” I tossed my napkin down on my plate. “I guess I’ll just count down the days until she’s gone.”
“You could always make one of those Christmas chains,” Lucas said helpfully. “Or . . .”
I paused, my sunglasses halfway up to my face. “Or?”
“You could always just kiss her.”
My body leaped at the thought, my heart hammering so hard against my chest, I thought it was going to beat right out and go running down the street. “Yeah.” I laughed. “And hell could freeze over.”
I heard a sharp gasp.
Austin was standing right behind me with Avery.
Well, hell.
I wasn’t sure how much they’d heard, but by the tears welling in Austin’s eyes, it had to be most of the last minute.
“Austin.” I swallowed back the lump in my throat.
“Uh, hi.” She waved at me even though she was a foot away. She was wearing a short black T-shirt dress, slouchy boots, and carrying her ever-present giant-ass purse.
“Sweetheart.” Lucas stood and kissed Avery on the mouth. “You’re twenty minutes early.”
“We went shopping, and I wanted to get your approval on Austin’s new wardrobe. I mean, we needed a guy’s opinion from someone who wouldn’t eye-screw her.” Her voice was strained.
I was such an idiot.
A few minutes earlier and Austin would have known that I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. A few minutes earlier and she’d have known just what type of pull she had on me, and how damn difficult it was to keep her at arm’s length.
Instead, I’d hurt her.
Her normally cheerful face was pale, her lower lip trembling as she stepped completely around me and stood in front of Lucas. “So, will you help?”
Rejection hit me hard and fast.
Right along with irritation.
What the hell?
“I’m a man.” I felt the need to point this out as the entire group turned to look at me. Yeah, I was a total idiot.
“A man who’s late for his one thirty,” Austin said in a low voice.
Damn her for knowing my schedule.
“Aren’t you coming?” I challenged in a haughty voice I didn’t recognize. “You know, I am doing you the favor, right? If you’re not going to shadow me when I have the interesting cases, you won’t have enough information for your posts, and you’ll fail your class.” God, stop talking!
Lucas shot me a “really, man?” look while Avery’s eyes narrowed.
Austin glared at me. “Well, I would hate to fail, or upset you by taking advantage of your . . .” She tilted her head. “Kindness.”
I was so turned on by the way her long legs looked in that dress that I was having a hard time seeing straight.
Yeah, I was being kind.
Or just an out-of-control idiot who had no choice but to keep it in his pants until she was out of my life forever.
“Let’s go,” I barked.
“Lead the way, boss,” Austin said under her breath. I knew she meant it as an insult; she was mocking me, whatever. It still made it painful to walk. I really needed to go out on a date or something—completely push her out of my system by way of another woman, but my body totally rejected the idea.
Kissing someone else had about as much appeal as buying a frog as a pet.
My office was two blocks from where Lucas and I had met for lunch.
It might as well have been miles.
A tense silence stood between us, making me feel so far from her that I wanted to scream.
I opened my mouth to apologize about a million times, only to close it and keep silent. Maybe that was my problem—I was too good at not saying anything, because sometimes, it was silence that saved people, not words. I knew that better than anyone.
The elevator dinged.
We walked side by side down the hall.
“Dr. Holloway.” Mia nodded at me and winked at Austin. “Your one thirty is in exam room number four.”
“Thanks.” I grabbed the outstretched clipboard and motioned for Austin to follow me into the room.
“Justin.” I opened the door. “Hi, I’m Dr. Holloway, I have a”—I glanced at Austin—“student researching plastic surgery. She’s just going to sit in on our consult, if that’s alright with you? She’s signed a confidentiality agreement, so rest assured everything about your patient profile will be kept private.”
“Fine with me.” He peered around me at Austin and smiled. “So, a student, are you studying to be a doctor?”
“No, I’m getting an MBA,” Austin’s happy voice responded, and I don’t know why, but I hated that she was talking to him. “I’m just here doing some research for one of my final projects.”
He was younger than me.
Good-looking.
Why the hell was he here again?
I glanced down at the sheet and almost groaned out loud. “So, let’s talk about the calf-implant procedure, shall we?”
Justin nodded. “Man, I’ve been working on my calves for years.” Impossible, he was a child. “And no matter what I do, they never get bigger, so I thought, ‘Hell, why not, I have the money. I mean, women get breast implants, why not get calf implants?’” He winked at Austin.
It was tempting—the idea of plucking those eyelashes out one by one.
Clearing my throat, I began asking him all the usual medical questions as I quickly went through his paperwork.
“Well, you’re the perfect candidate, why don’t I take a look?”
He was wearing shorts, which made it easy. “You have lean calf muscles.” I touched his calf and pressed the skin in. “Why don’t we go over a few pictures of implants I’ve done on men your size and shape and go from there?”
When he didn’t answer, I looked up.
Of course he didn’t answer, he was currently checking out Austin like she was available—and poor Austin was taking down notes like she usually did.
“Hey.” I snapped my fingers. “If you’re serious about this, I need your full attention, alright? Elective surgery is still surgery.”
“Sorry.” His cheeks went pink as he lowered his voice. “But she’s hot, I mean, how can you work around that and not get distracted?”
How indeed.
“I’d bone her.”
“Get out.” I stood, stomped over to the door, and jerked it open.
“Huh?” He blinked in confusion. “What do you mean, ‘Get out’?”
“Get the hell out of my office,” I said coldly. “And don’t come back.”
I towered over him.
Speaking of calf muscles, mine were just twitching to get a good kick in. As it was, my hands were shaking with the intense need to knock the guy’s teeth in.
“Are you serious?” Justin rolled his eyes. “I’m a paying patient!”
“Not anymore you’re not. If you don’t leave now, I’ll be forced to call security.”
“Jackass.” He shoved past me and then Austin, slamming the door behind him.
Austin whistled. “Good bedside manner? I think I may uncheck that box.”
“He was being disrespectful,” I said in a huff.
Austin’s eyes widened and then she burst out laughing. “Oh wow, he was being disrespectful? Interesting, so the only person who can say anything disrespectful about me is you? But if anyone else does it, you’re ready to kick his ass?”
“Yes,” I said through clenched teeth. “No.” Hell. “Austin . . .” I licked my lips. “Can we not do this right now?”
“Fine.” She walked over to where Justin had been sitting and plopped into the chair. “Then let’s get on with the exam.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I didn’t get any notes other than your going through the patient’s forms with him—what else do you do during a consult for a calf implant, Doc?” She crossed her legs, and I could see a generous amount of thigh the way she was sitting.
Yup. I was in hell.
And it was scorching hot.
“Fine.” I feigned indifference when really, my left hand was shaking so badly, I had to shove it into my pocket. “Typically, I’ll show them pictures of different implants, and then we’d discuss . . . size.”
“Big,” she blurted. “I want huge.”
It hurt to breathe. Why did everything have to be a sexual innuendo with her?
“How big?” My voice was strained.
She tilted her head to the side, then pointed at my legs. “Well, how big are yours?”
“Mine are real.”
“Yeah, but how big?”
I was going to burn in hell, because the only thing I really wanted to do was take off my damn pants and say something stupid like, You tell me. Then she’d point at my cock and I’d say, Wrong leg, and then we’d screw against the nearest wall.
Yeah, there went that whole malpractice-suit business resurfacing.
Only when Austin was in the room with me.
The fact that I didn’t have a nurse with me was a mistake.
Right along with the door being closed.
“Why don’t I just show you pictures?” I cleared my throat.
“Aw, Thatch, you afraid to flash me a bit of leg?” She winked and moved in her chair, causing her dress to ride up higher—damn it, I could almost see ass cheek.
“I, uh.” My eyes begged me to look down, so I fought like hell to keep them focused on her eyes. “It’s just a leg.”
“Right, so you shouldn’t have any problem showing me yours.”
“You’re being ridiculous,” I snapped, then tugged up my pant leg. “This is from squats, running, actual exercise. He had leaner muscles, most likely from long-distance running or cycling.”
“Hmm.” She touched my calf with her finger, trailing it down to my ankle. “So where does the implant go in?”
“Go in,” I repeated.
She nodded, still not removing her hand.
“At the . . . Achilles.” I blew out a curse, then braced both of my hands on her thighs, slowly running them down past her knees until I grabbed each calf with a hand and squeezed. “I’d put it in here.” I gripped harder. “And sew you up here.” I squeezed again. “You’d recover in a few painful weeks—the end. Though I’d kill any doctor who’d dare mess with your legs.”
“They are kind of lanky.”
I don’t know how it happened, but one minute I was gripping her legs in my hands, the next, my hands were inching back up her thigh, my fingers eagerly dipping into her luscious skin until her dress was up past her waist. Her half-lidded eyes told me all I needed to know as I hooked her legs around my waist and lifted her into the air. “I’ve always loved your legs.”
She gulped, her lips parted.
I leaned in.
My pulse hammered between my ears in anticipation of her taste. The exam room’s phone rang.
I sighed, then slowly slid her back down to the floor. My body cried out.
I answered on the fourth ring. “Yeah?”
“Your father’s in the hospital . . . ,” Mia said in a low whisper. “Again.”
“Hell.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’ll be right there.”
I hung up, ready to punch the wall. “I gotta go.”
Austin’s eyes narrowed. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”
“I’m fine,” I snapped.
“Thatch—”
“You’re not my girlfriend anymore. I don’t have to tell you shit. Go write your silly little blog so whatever this is”—my voice cracked as I waved a hand between us—“can finally be over.”
She sucked in a breath. “I swear, it’s like one minute you’re the guy I fell for, and the next, I don’t even recognize you.”
“Maybe because the guy you fell for just wanted to get laid, ever thought of that?”
She gasped and slapped me across the cheek, then stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind her.