Dana
“She’s what?” My father’s expression was as big and loud as his voice, eyes wide, mouth downturned in a shocked frown.
“I’m sure it’s fine, Daddy,” I said, trying to convince both of us and not having very much success. “Hutch didn’t find her in the cabin suite, but she’s gotta be hiding somewhere.”
“Why? What happened?”
“I don’t know exactly, Daddy. She was with Caroline in the arcade, Caroline said she ran off.”
“Caroline lost her? Jesus Christ!”
“Daddy, let’s not get carried away! Blu never took much to Caroline, the cruise is coming to an end, a lot’s going on right now, you can’t blame the kid for running off.”
My father looked at me with a cold tension, one I hardly recognized as it never came up between us. “No, I ... I don’t suppose anybody’s really to blame, are they?”
“Daddy?”
He hesitated, and that hurt even more. “It does make me wonder, Dana ... if you’re ready for this.”
“What? Daddy! I’m not the one she ran away from. To be honest, if I’d been the one with her, she probably wouldn’t have run off at all.”
“But you don’t know that, Dana. All you do know, all any of us knows, is that you’ve begun an affair with that man, the girl’s widowed father, and now you’re apparently going to live with them ... something you didn’t even bother to tell me, your father and your captain!”
A cold stone sank in my gut. “I meant to tell you, I swear I did, of course. I was coming to do that now, but this came up, and finding Blu is really what’s important now, we ... wait a minute, did Hutch tell you that, about me moving in with them?”
“We had a little ... heart to heart.”
“Those were his intentions, but now it’s official. After he spoke to you, he asked me and I said yes ... as you assumed I would.”
“I was right about a lot of things. It’s not that I want you to spend your life babysitting me, Dana, I don’t. I want you to go out and live a life that you enjoy, that fulfills you, makes you happy. And if life with that man will make you happy, if that will fulfill you, that’s fine with me. I’m happy for it and happy for you. But you have to ask yourself, now more than ever, if you really know what you’re getting into, and if you’re really capable of handling it.”
He was right. I didn’t want him to be, and I resented him like hell for it, but there was no denying the matter. At twenty-one, I’d had some amazing experiences and they’d gone straight to my head and to my heart. My father’s age and wisdom had once again given him the perspective I just didn’t have, and couldn’t have. But I knew Hutch in a way that my father did not and could not. And I knew myself better than anybody else could, and one other thing I knew more than anything else; we had to find Blu and fast.
My father and I split up and joined the search. He spread the word first, instructing everybody to follow the standard protocol for a missing passenger. Stores were searched top to bottom and then locked closed, kitchens and eateries the same thing. Staff checked the public bathrooms, called heads out at sea, locking each one as soon as it was deemed empty.
Hutch had deliberately left some cabins open for our impulsive use, and only he knew which ones they were. He was checking those personally while I was scouring the arcade and mall and the decks, anywhere a nine-year-old seventy-pound girl could hide. And that could be almost anywhere, including in the lifeboats, storage, almost anywhere.
And it gave my mind plenty of time to wander, something I really didn’t want but couldn’t really help. My father’s warnings were echoing in my memory, and they weren’t alone there. Is he right, I had to ask myself, am I in over my head? What do I know about looking after a little girl, being a ready-made wife and mother? I’ve never even had a steady boyfriend, I was a virgin until this week! Now I’m suddenly turning my whole life around, assuming all kinds of responsibilities ... it’s nuts, maybe Daddy’s right!
I walked on through the empty mall, checking under the benches, in the enclaves that provided drinking fountains every few hundred feet. All right, I told myself, it’s a bit weird, out of the ordinary, there’s no denying that. But everything about Hutch is exceptional, Blu included. Why shouldn’t a future with him be as unlikely as his present or his past? That’s only natural! He rented out a whole cruise ship for himself and his daughter, that’s just not the usual vacation because they’re not the usual people and their lives aren’t the usual lives. But Hutch isn’t the only billionaire out there. It does happen, and this time, it’s happened to me. Am I up to it? Why not? I’m not the one who lost track of Blu. And in Hamilton, we stuck together, I talked her down from her fear and panic. I’m a positive influence. They need me as much as I need them. Am I up to it? I’m the only woman for the job!
But it wasn’t easy to maintain that confidence as the minutes ticked by with no sign of or word from Blu.
Up to handling things, my skeptical self challenged me, when you’re the cause of all this to begin with! Blu disappearing has something to do with this sudden change in her family, it must! How could it not? She’s a sensitive little girl who’s already had to process as much emotional tumult as most adults, and even they can’t often handle it! Now the need for a fairy tale happy ending for the so-called angel of the Atlantic comes at the price of that poor kid’s sense of stability, of security. Who would think a little speech in some shabby hotel room would change any of that?
Fine, I silently braced myself, if I’ve been selfish or been in the wrong, it’s time to make it right. I’ll find Blu and we’ll talk it out, whatever the problems are, we’ll deal with them together. That’s what Blu wants, that’s all anybody wants. If I can just find her ...
As much as I didn’t want to think about it, there were terrible possibilities, and to think of that sweet little innocent child in the center of any of them was enough to make me wretch. I couldn’t bare to think she’d thrown herself overboard. I couldn’t deny the possibility of it, a girl under that much sudden pressure, fearful and confused. But something about that just didn’t sit right with me, perhaps it was desperate hope or just delusion, but I couldn’t accept that, and I wouldn’t. But that only presented other possibilities.
I couldn’t avoid asking myself, What if somebody grabbed her? There are hundreds of people on this boat and they all know how much that child is worth. I don’t know each and every one of them, even after all this time. A lot of them could have connections to people on the islands, people like that young mugger who tried to get away with my purse. That even in itself could have touched off red flags for kidnappers and pirates all over the area!
But I had to challenge myself, How could they get her off the boat? Could she be knocked out and bundled up with the laundry or in one of the band’s drum cases?
A cold chill shot up my spine. Eric. Could he be acting out against me, striking where I’m most vulnerable? Is he that deranged and obsessed with me? I guess it’s possible. Things have changed fast, and that can bring out the worst in anybody. But what would he expect, that I’d marry him in exchange for Blu’s freedom? Or does he just want me to suffer loss, the way he might think I’m causing him to suffer? My God, he’d have to be a lunatic! But he does have that quiet tension, that brooding weirdness. And he was stone-cold in love with me, there’s no getting around that. What is it that they say? ‘It’s always the quiet ones.’
Then my mind flashed to the ones who weren’t so quiet, one in particular. Caroline. She’s clever enough to orchestrate a more sophisticated setup, not the impetuous move of a lovelorn psychotic. Caroline has intelligence, Caroline has cunning. But does Caroline have Blu? Isn’t she better off seducing my father out of Hutch’s money than trying to ransom it by kidnapping Blu? Caroline’s too clever to do something that stupid, and too emotionally vacuous to act out of a sense of hurt or vengeance. That’s Eric, not Caroline.
There were too many other people to think about, and none of them led me to Blu fast enough. My mouth was dry, those water fountains suddenly nowhere to be found. The shops were closed up, one after another. Time was running out, and so were the possibilities.