BASTIAN BROKE THE sudden silence that had fallen between them with a gravel-voiced reply. ‘You’re pregnant?’
He vacated his seat to come towards her and a carved muscle flinched ominously in the side of his unshaven cheek. Clearly affected by the news, he seemed shaken.
‘I wouldn’t joke about it.’
Her heart thumped even harder. Wasn’t confession supposed to be good for the soul? Whoever had come up with that one clearly hadn’t been thinking straight! This was without a doubt one of the most difficult situations she’d ever had to deal with. It was even more difficult than when she’d finally told her ex that she wanted to end their marriage, because he’d kept back a vital truth about himself and she’d found she could no longer live a lie.
‘When did you find out you’re pregnant?’
‘Not too long after you left... I didn’t get my period and I’m usually quite regular.’
‘But you took a test? To make sure, I mean?’
Her visitor moved in closer and the sensual quality of his aftershave registered deep in the pit of Lily’s stomach. She bit down hard on her lip. Was this to be her challenge? To stay strong in the face of wanting him so much when as soon as she saw him his presence rendered her immediately weak?
‘Yes, I did. I bought a test from the local farmacia. But to tell you the truth it wasn’t necessary. I know my body well enough to sense that there are some changes taking place.’
Driving his hands through his hair, Bastian looked to be thinking hard. Then he abruptly moved away. Folding his arms, he said with worrying calmness, ‘Then there really is only one solution. You will have to marry me.’
‘What? But that’s crazy!’
‘Why? Does it surprise you that I would want to do the right thing by you? Or perhaps you can’t handle the idea of us having a more permanent relationship since your previous marriage obviously didn’t end well?’
‘How do you know that?’
‘I’m guessing.’
Taken aback, Lily didn’t trouble herself to go into an explanation. Dominating her mind was the Italian’s assertion that she would have to marry him.
‘Anyway, getting back to your so-called solution...it would be crazy for us to get married. We hardly know each other. You’re my landlord and I’m your tenant. We don’t have a personal relationship. All we have between us is...’
‘Some hot, unplanned sex?’ he finished for her, quirking his brow.
‘Some unexpected intimacy, I was going to say.’
It was hard to stop herself from blushing like a schoolgirl. But, more to the point, she could hardly believe Bastian was willing to legalise their relationship because of the baby. It just didn’t seem plausible. He was a wealthy landowner and she was... Well, she was nobody important.
‘The main consideration in this situation, Lily, is the baby. Although we can’t know as yet if we have anything else in common, at least we know we are compatible physically. Given that, I think you should seriously consider the idea of becoming my wife.’
Her body flooded with indignation. ‘Things don’t have to be as cut and dried as that. The world is full of single mothers. And besides...’
‘Go on?’
‘I don’t want anyone else to decide my fate.’
Pushing to her feet, she instinctively rested her hand against her belly, as if to protect herself and her precious cargo.
‘I didn’t expect you to suggest marriage. I take full responsibility for making my own decisions and I intend to support this child by myself...however hard it might be.’
‘You’ll be making your life even harder if you go down that route. In any case, I don’t think managing things on your own is the best decision to make. The baby is mine too. Which brings me to my next question.’
His glance held hers, as if daring her to look anywhere else for even a second.
‘Why didn’t you consider an abortion when you discovered you were pregnant? A lot of women in your position might have.’
Lily was shocked. ‘I know you don’t really know me, but I already consider this baby to be my child. I already love it. And I very much wanted it—right from the beginning.’
‘I am very glad to hear it.’
There was an undoubted suggestion of satisfaction in his tone that told her he was pleased with her answer.
He continued, ‘But, while I know I have to consider what you want, Lily, I have to tell you that as the baby’s father I fully intend to do my duty and support you both.’
‘You don’t have to do that. We’re living in the twenty-first century—not the Middle Ages!’
Grimacing, Bastian was far from amused by the remark. ‘You think it backward for a baby’s father to want to look after its mother? In my view that’s where society has gone wrong. It’s good to define our roles and stand by them.’
‘Why?’ she snapped back. ‘Do you even want to be a father?’
He stilled, piercing her with a steely glare. ‘That’s hardly the point. We will deal with what is. The fact is I intend to honour my responsibilities—not run away from them. Whether that has been your previous experience of the men in your life or not, it makes no difference to me. I will do what’s right and take care of my family.’
If Lily was honest she liked the idea of him referring to her and the baby as his family, and she admired him for owning up to his responsibility even if it did unsettle her. But the idea of him wanting to stand by her and the baby and take care of them was the stuff dreams were made of, wasn’t it?
The trouble was, previous experience had shown her that people rarely lived up to such promises.
Breathing out a sigh, she sat down again and reached for a padded velvet cushion to hold in front of her. ‘Despite what you say, I think you really ought to take some more time to think about this. You’ve just come back from your trip, and you told me you were going to start converting the land when you returned. It’s your family’s livelihood, and I’m quite aware that that has to come first.’
Raising a lightly mocking eyebrow, he remarked, ‘You really expect me to believe that you won’t put your own needs first? I have to say that’s not been my usual experience with women.’
She sensed her cheeks glowing with heat. Her blood was throbbing with a ridiculous sense of betrayal.
She didn’t really want to know about his experiences with other women. Just the thought of his having his arms round someone else was anathema to her.
‘Look, I told you I don’t need your help and I meant it. Independence is important to me, and if marriage to my ex taught me anything it’s that men will usually put themselves before any woman in their life.’
He was already shaking his head in disagreement. ‘I’m sorry if that’s been your experience. Most Italian men take great pride in taking care of their women and children. Family means everything to us.’
The mention of family brought to mind the loss of his mother and the impact it had had on him and his father. Although he hadn’t ever known her, there wasn’t a day that went by when he didn’t think about how different his life might have been if he’d known her love and care...
And in all these years Alberto had been alone. He was the kindest, most loving man in the world, but he had lost the one woman in his life who had meant everything to him. He had never sought to replace her—because how could you replace sheer perfection? he’d asked his son.
Thinking about his own past failed relationships, and one in particular, Bastian was fearful that he was destined to suffer similar heartbreak, because he couldn’t bear the thought of taking a wife only to lose her—particularly in childbirth.
Thankfully, his feelings for Lily were nowhere near like the ones his parents had had for each other. He wouldn’t be risking his heart when they married. He would take care of her and adore their children—because undoubtedly there would more after this baby—and he would be the best husband he could be. But ultimately their union would be a marriage of convenience...with undisputed benefits, he added wryly to himself.
‘That must be a wonderful way to be,’ his companion murmured. ‘I imagine Alberto was an amazing dad when you were growing up?’
‘He was.’
‘But you must have been lonely sometimes with just each other to talk to? I mean without—without your mother?’
‘He told you about that, then?’ Bastian was mindful of not displaying any emotion about this, and deliberately kept his tone level. He felt aggrieved that his father had shared such a personal matter with Lily when as far as he was aware she was to all intents and purposes just their tenant.
‘It came out in a conversation we had.’
‘Anyway...we weren’t always alone,’ he asserted firmly. ‘I have two aunts who made sure we were looked after, and several cousins. My father also hired Dolores. We had plenty of company if we wanted it.’
Not completely buying that last sentence, and feeling inexplicably sad, Lily collected her disagreeable beverage and took the mug out into the kitchen. To her surprise, she sensed her visitor following her.
She rinsed the crockery under the tap, and it stunned her when he suddenly reached out and grasped her forearm. For a second the touch of his skin was like standing too close to a roaring fire. She could barely think straight, let alone talk...
Turning off the tap, and letting the mug clatter into the basin, she turned warily. ‘What is it?’
‘How did you and your ex-husband meet? I’ve been wondering.’
Her stomach plunged in surprise. ‘We met at a dinner party a friend gave.’ She knew she sounded reluctant to say more.
‘Go on.’
‘Well...this friend was always trying to match me up with men because she thought I was too reclusive. Anyway, Marc and I met and immediately liked one another. We had a few dates, and quite soon he asked me to marry him. My friend was convinced it was a good idea...that he ticked all the right boxes...and in her view it was much better than my being alone.’
‘So that was your criteria?’ Bastian sounded vaguely disparaging. ‘Your friend thought he was a good bet and it would save you from being alone?’
‘Don’t get me wrong—I really did like him. He was charming, considerate and kind to me. But quite soon after we got together I started to see that maybe making such a serious commitment to him hadn’t been one of my best ideas. For one thing, he worked as a broker in the City and we were just too different.’
‘Explain.’
She huffed out a sigh. ‘I’m a creative person, and money isn’t the be-all and end-all to me like it was for him. Our values were miles apart. That’s a pretty important difference, wouldn’t you say? Anyway, we agreed to part. I decided that if I was lonely in the future I’d be much better off getting a pet rather than another man. They’re far less troublesome.’
His lips curved helplessly. ‘I disagree. You just chose the wrong man.’
‘Hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?’
Withdrawing her arm, she was glad to be free of his touch in order to breathe more easily. It was hard to feel in command of her faculties when he stood so near.
‘In any case, I’ll need some time to reflect on what you’ve said. Can we leave things as they are for now?’
Saying nothing, he abruptly moved back through the crafted stone and brick archway that led into the living room. Lily took her time following him. One thing he’d demonstrated was that he had an iron will and would aim to have his way in anything he deemed important. If she agreed to marry him she guessed she would always have to fight her corner...
‘The next time we talk we’ll discuss arrangements for the wedding. I know you’re still unsure, but you don’t have to waste any more time wondering if it’s a good thing or not. I’m not looking for any kind of romantic relationship, so you’ll have no worries on that score. Our union will be purely pragmatic. Given time, I’m certain you’ll be glad to have my support rather than deal with the prospect of motherhood on your own. The last thing you need is to let any anxieties you have transfer themselves to the baby.’
‘Of course I wouldn’t want that. But wait a minute... I still haven’t made up my mind. I already have one failed marriage behind me and I’m not exactly eager to repeat that mistake by going into another one.’
‘Our marriage won’t fail, Lily...not if we both go into it clearly knowing what we want.’
His reasoning startled her. ‘And what do you want out of it, Bastian? You’ve already said you’re not looking for romance.’
Beneath his bronzed skin his complexion reddened. ‘It’s better if we discuss this tomorrow. Right now I have to head back. I have a lot of work to get on with.’
‘I have too, but I think we should at least clarify things before we part, don’t you?’
Bastian stilled for a moment, his carefully assessing glance giving her the impression he was trying to make her out. It reminded Lily that they hardly knew each other at all. Yet somehow there was an undeniable bond between them that she couldn’t explain and equally couldn’t resist...
‘I’m hardly eager to put myself in the shark’s mouth again any time soon by getting tangled up in emotion,’ he said seriously. ‘But knowing we’ve both suffered disappointment and hurt in the past can help us. I mean that it can work to our advantage. If we don’t invest our feelings in this marriage too much then it can be more like a business contract. If we agree on the terms then it will ensure we are both more likely to be satisfied.’
Lily swallowed hard. To be honest, she felt sick. To her mind it didn’t sound appealing at all. She wouldn’t and couldn’t be satisfied with such a cold arrangement—even if it meant she would have support for her baby. It still made her blood turn to ice when she remembered Marc’s deception and her travesty of a wedding night.
‘So, in effect, we’re destined to be alone even if we live together as husband and wife?’ she commented. ‘I mean, not to have even the smallest bit of comfort from our union sounds like a rather cold bargain to me.’
‘I’m not suggesting we won’t be intimate. Some things are fundamental. Do you think I would deny us the opportunity of enjoying one of the most incredible comforts of all—that which brought us together in the first place? I confess I couldn’t be with you and live without it.’
She knew her face must have immediately turned scarlet. Yet knowing she felt the same as he did terrified her—because how could she not engage her feelings if they were to make love regularly?
‘Tomorrow evening,’ he declared suddenly. ‘Shall we say around eight?’
Dumbfounded, she stared as he headed straight to the front door.
He didn’t look back at her even once.
Instead he let the door slam shut.
The discordant sound seemed to reverberate around her body, and she had the sense that she was standing on a precipice, wrestling with the decision whether to jump or simply to turn back and accept whatever came next...
* * *
Bastian had decided to walk to his dad’s place rather than drive the car. Having been cooped up in boardrooms and planes for long enough, he needed to breathe in some fresh air. Now, on his way back to the olive groves, the most pertinent thing on his mind was the knowledge that he was going to be a father.
It hardly seemed real. Ever since he’d heard the news Bastian had felt as though he were in a dream. It had been one of his greatest desires to become a father eventually, but he had shelved the idea a long time ago, after his ex, Marissa, had so heartlessly cheated on him.
There was an aching loneliness inside him that had been there since he was small, when even his dad hadn’t been able to fill the gap. He’d realised he was mourning his mother more and more, even though he hadn’t known her, and the feeling had been made worse by sometimes hearing his strong father weeping sorrowfully at night, when he’d thought Bastian was asleep.
When he was a little boy, he’d once asked him, ‘Do you still miss Mamma...what was she like?’
He’d never forgotten his father’s reply.
‘Your mamma was like one of God’s own angels, my son. A more beautiful or kind woman never walked the earth, and I will never forget her. It is my greatest regret that she left this life too soon.’
Ever since Marissa had so badly let him down Bastian had kept his personal desires—the things he really longed for—scrupulously to himself. But one thing he’d always believed was that every child deserved parents who were trustworthy, loving and loyal, and he’d vowed that when he did marry it would be to a woman who unquestionably had all of those exemplary qualities and more...
A light breeze ruffled his hair as he walked, and now that the blossoms on the trees had faded the strong aroma of the olive groves drifted towards him. It not only gave him the greatest satisfaction that their produce had given him and his family so much, but he felt as if he was a custodian of what had once been one of the most symbolic plants of ancient Rome.
One day he would teach his children the history of the groves and the symbolism of the olive branches. In his mind’s eye he was already seeing the features of his first child. He imagined that he or she would be a perfect blend of himself and their mother, and he would never forget that it was his and Lily’s extraordinary passion that had given them this chance to bring another human being into the world and hopefully oversee a healthy and happy future for them.
Even if their union had been anything but planned...
By the time he reached his father’s kitchen his nostrils had scented the aroma of one of his favourite pasta dishes cooking, and he saw the older man standing at the free-standing range cooker with their housekeeper, Dolores, laughing at something she’d said as she stirred the sauce.
Bastian had already decided he wouldn’t tell him straight away that he was going to be a grandfather, but would save the news until after he and Lily had started to make their wedding plans. But he couldn’t help his heart racing nineteen to the dozen in anticipation of his father’s reaction when he heard the news.
‘Got another serving for the favourite son?’ he joked.
Her dark hair now generously peppered with grey, Dolores turned round fast, her brown eyes brimming with pleasure. In her early seventies now, she was still an attractive woman.
‘As usual, you have perfect timing, mi querido. Of course there is another plate for you!’
‘The boy needs his own woman to feed him,’ Alberto grumbled playfully. ‘Then he won’t have to come home all the time to eat.’
‘You would hate it if I didn’t come home from time to time—you know you would. And when I marry I intend for my wife to also come and enjoy your food.’
His father’s bushy eyebrows shot up into his hairline. ‘Are you telling me that you’ve met someone?’
‘I don’t want to get your hopes up, Father. It’s like I’ve always said—nothing will happen on that score until the time is right.’
The other man expelled an exasperated breath. ‘What does that mean? Do you always have to be so enigmatic?’
Unable to hold back his laughter, Bastian realised it felt good to connect with his parent on something other than work. It made him remember all the good times they’d shared when he was a child—how with just a teasing phrase or two and a gentle good humour his father would put right everything that was troubling him and restore some calm. Even when things had been strained, they’d always ended on a high note.
‘You have only yourself to blame for that,’ he responded cheerfully. ‘You always taught me to keep my cards close to my chest, to keep people guessing.’
‘What is that French word I’m looking for?’ With an ironic smile Alberto thoughtfully stroked his beard. ‘I have it...touché.’
Saying nothing, Dolores gave him one of her looks and decisively moved across to a generously filled cabinet and reached for some dinner plates. Then she turned round and said to the younger man, ‘Instead of just standing there looking pretty, Bastian Carrera, why don’t you help me to lay the table?’
Making a mock salute, Bastian grinned. ‘But of course, signora. Who am I to argue with my elders?’
The housekeeper picked up a dishtowel and threw it at him.