BASTIAN HAD GONE out into the City ostensibly to get himself some lunch. But, although the choice of restaurants was myriad, Bastian had lost his appetite. He couldn’t seem to get his mind off Lily. He hoped she was getting on all right with her new editor—hoped she wouldn’t just take the first deal they offered in the belief that her efforts weren’t worth more.
Wandering into a stylish café, he ordered an espresso and sat down in a window seat to drink it. He read the Italian newspaper he’d found and caught up on how his favourite football team was doing. But even that couldn’t hold his attention.
The café was near Hyde Park, and half an hour later he went out into one of the most famous of London streets to hail a taxi.
Arriving at the smart Art Deco restaurant where Lily’s meeting was being held, he told himself it didn’t matter that he was early. It was important that he saw for himself she was all right...
* * *
Lily had just left the ladies’ room when she was surprisingly confronted by her ex-husband. Marc had obviously spotted her earlier, but had been too busy conversing with his colleagues to come over.
‘Lily...what a lovely surprise!’
As though genuinely pleased to see her, he immediately planted a kiss on her cheek.
‘I couldn’t believe it when I looked across the room and saw you. What are you doing in London?’
‘I’m having lunch with my editor.’
‘So you’ve come over from Italy?’
She’d told him that she was moving there. ‘That’s right.’
‘Well, if you don’t mind my saying so, you’re looking the picture of health. It must be doing you good, living there.’
‘It is. I can honestly say I love it.’
‘So, what have you been getting up to?’
‘Well, quite a lot, actually. I’m pregnant and I’m getting married again.’
He seemed genuinely taken aback by this information and his face reddened slightly. ‘You’re expecting a baby?’
‘I am.’
‘No wonder you have such a bloom about you. Who’s the lucky guy?’
‘He’s an olive grower. He and his family produce organic olive oil.’
‘That’s how he makes his living?’
‘Yes...and he does very well at it.’
‘Good for him...’
Not certain that he meant this at all, Lily was immediately defensive of Bastian. ‘His family sells the oil all around the world and it’s made their fortune.’
‘How fortuitous for them.’ He reddened again. ‘So, when is the wedding to be?’
‘In a couple of weeks’ time.’
‘And you love this guy?’
‘Of course.’
She had no hesitation in admitting the fact, and realised that the difference in the feelings she had for both men was like night and day.
‘So what’s he like, this olive grower of yours?’
‘He’s generous, hard-working and...and rather wonderful, in fact.’
As soon as the words were out of her mouth Lily felt infused with joy that Bastian had come to London with her after all. Aware that she’d only wanted to make the trip on her own to show him she was quite capable of managing without him, she was glad he’d insisted to the contrary. Knowing he cared enough to want to accompany her, also that he intended to marry her, right then she felt the knowledge comfort her.
‘Is he here with you?’
‘You mean here at the restaurant?’ Blushing, she shook her head. ‘He’s back at our hotel, waiting for me.’
Marc’s expression was thoughtful. ‘All I can say is that I just hope he knows how fortunate he is to have found you, Lily. I’m sure he must know that you’re one of a kind.’
‘And you, Marc? Are you any happier now?’
‘Yes. I can honestly say I am.’
‘Then life has changed for the better for both of us?’
Her companion turned silent for a moment. Then, sounding more than a little contrite, he said, ‘I’m so sorry I hurt you, Lily. The truth is I was just too much of a coward to let you go. I feared I’d never find anyone who understood me like you did again. I wanted to have my cake and eat it, even though I knew I was stopping you from getting what you wanted.’
Finding it hard to deal with the tumult of emotion that was welling up inside her, she responded, ‘I don’t believe you meant to hurt me, Marc. We both sort of fell into getting married without much thought—no doubt because we just wanted to feel secure. We were comfortable together, so we chose what we thought was the easy option. I don’t think there’s any point in punishing ourselves by raking over old coals. Anyway, I’d better be getting back. My editor’s probably wondering where on earth I’ve got to.’
Standing on tiptoes, she lightly brushed his cheek with her lips.
Having been advised by the affable Kate Barrington that Lily had been in the ladies’ room for a little longer than expected, Bastian was immediately concerned that something was amiss. The fear that she might lose the baby was never far from his mind.
But as he stepped out into the elegant corridor that led to his destination his fury knew no bounds when he saw his fiancée reaching up to kiss a tall, elegant blond man. She clearly knew this man very well—and that led him to conclude that he must be the ex of whom Lily had told him so little.
It seemed that one of his greatest fears had been confirmed. Lily still had a thing for her ex-husband and they had arranged to meet up at the restaurant when she knew she would be there for her meeting.
‘Lily! Would you mind explaining to me exactly what you’re up to?’
With a look of surprise on her face, she quickly moved away from the other man. ‘Bastian—how come you’re so early? I told you I would ring you when I was done.’
‘Then it’s a good job I didn’t listen to you, isn’t it?’ Raking his hand through his hair, he gave her a steely glance. But then he quickly moved his furious gaze across to her companion. ‘You must be Lily’s ex-husband.’
‘What’s it to you, may I ask?’
His perfectly manicured features flushing, the other man squared his shoulders. His arrogance infuriated Bastian even more.
Catching hold of Lily’s hand, he drew her possessively against his side. ‘What’s it to me?’ he echoed. ‘Lily is having my baby and we’re going to be married... Does that answer your question?’
‘Believe it or not, I’ve just told her how pleased I am for her.’
‘Have you really?’ Moving nearer to the broker, his pristine tailored suit highlighting his superior physique and strength, Bastian demanded angrily, ‘By all that’s holy, what do you mean by arranging to meet her here? No doubt you know she’s moved to Italy and is involved with someone else?’
Marc jutted his chin defensively. ‘I didn’t arrange to meet Lily here. Our seeing each other again is purely coincidental.’
Bastian schooled himself to take a deep breath before he replied, but his free hand was already clenching into a fist by his side. ‘I don’t believe for one moment that it is mere coincidence. But one thing I do know is that you should heed my warning to stay away from her.’
‘I hear you. But surely it’s up to Lily if she wants to see me again or not?’
Just before she spoke Bastian sensed the woman at his side trembling. Did she tremble because she wanted Marc more than she wanted him? he wondered. Why else had they met up? He didn’t buy the story that their meeting was coincidental.
It was in those confusing, tormenting moments that he realised it wasn’t just their baby he wanted. It was Lily too. He finally had to acknowledge that he wanted her for his own, whether she was having his baby or not. She had turned his ordered existence upside down and inside out since their very first explosive encounter. If she left him to go back to her ex-husband he didn’t know what he would do. Would he even survive such a blow when she was the very air that he breathed to stay alive?
‘First of all, Bastian, please don’t refer to me as her,’ she said tetchily. ‘My name is Lily and I’m not invisible. And, secondly, it is pure chance that Marc and I happen to be here at the same time. However, I do agree that it’s probably best that he doesn’t get in touch with me again. I’ve started a new life now and our former relationship is well and truly over.’
Her green eyes swept over the other man.
‘I’ve never said this to you before, Marc, but I was so unhappy when we were together—and you and I both know why. In conclusion, I think it’s best if we close the door on our friendship.’
‘That’s really what you want, is it?’ Marc looked crestfallen.
Lily gripped tightly on to her lover’s hand as she answered unequivocally, ‘Yes, Marc. That’s exactly what I want.’
* * *
On behalf of the publishers, Kate had offered Lily a good deal for her story—particularly, she said, because she’d already established herself as an illustrator.
The fact that she was going to be published as an author had helped Lily start to believe in her own talent. Her new contract proved she could write wonderful stories for children as well as illustrate them—stories that the public would want to buy. It wasn’t just a long-held hope any more. It really was going to happen.
It had been an eventful day, what with signing her contract and Bastian unexpectedly showing up early and finding her in a potentially compromising situation with Marc, but it was by no means over yet.
Bastian had turned ominously quiet when they’d got into a taxi to take them back to their luxurious hotel, and she sensed that something disagreeable was brewing. Was he still angry about finding her in the corridor with Marc? But was it her fault that he had taken it upon himself to turn up at the restaurant to collect her earlier than they’d arranged?
‘You’d better tell me what’s on your mind, don’t you think? I can tell you’re not very happy,’ she said.
Turning his unflinching dark gaze towards her, he returned, ‘Did you arrange to meet up with your ex before I said I was coming with you?’
Lily knew she must have turned pale. ‘Of course I didn’t. I’ve already told you that it was a chance encounter. I didn’t have a clue he would be there. I was just as surprised to see him as you were.’
‘Is that the truth?’
‘Why do you doubt me? You must have been able to tell that there’s no attraction between us whatsoever.’
‘Then why did you marry him?’
She sighed. ‘Didn’t I already tell you that?’
‘You said something about your friend recommending him, and not wanting to be alone, but that doesn’t tell me very much, Lily. I’d like to hear the full story. We need to talk about this some more. But not here. Right now I want to make the most of our trip and take you shopping.’
‘Shopping for what?’
‘For you and the baby.’
‘But I don’t need anything.’
Quirking an eyebrow, he commented, ‘What about our baby? Do you expect him to stay naked? He’s going to need clothes, blankets and other necessary items...’ Leaning towards the cabbie and opening the small window that separated them, he instructed, ‘Take us to Harrods, please!’
* * *
Just before they arrived at the famous store, Bastian informed Lily that he’d arranged for them to have a personal shopper—and that Lily should take advantage of the opportunity. Neither should she be shy in letting them know her personal preferences.
And, although she started out feeling a little awkward, she soon started to get the hang of things and began to enjoy herself. As they started to pick out clothing created by the best designers, and various other essential items for their baby, Bastian clearly started to enjoy himself too. She saw that he loved to talk about their baby with anyone who cared to listen, and there were a lot of appreciative women wherever they went, happily giving their opinions when he asked them.
She couldn’t deny he’d worked his magic on her too. They’d chosen a veritable trunkful of stuff, which he’d arranged to have delivered to their Italian home, and it was then, with a twinkle in his eye, that he teasingly told her that it was her turn.
‘What do you mean? I told you I don’t need anything.’
‘It’s true that you don’t need anything to make you look beautiful, Lily, but as the man in your life it’s my privilege to select clothing that enhances your beauty, is it not?’
All but quaking inside at the idea of Bastian choosing clothes for her, she gave him a nervous smile...
They finished their day by visiting the Shard, and they couldn’t have ended it more perfectly than by visiting the champagne bar on the fifty-second floor for cocktails and canapés and to admire the breathtaking views of the skyline. This was the city Lily had grown up in, but now she saw it with the eyes of an appreciative tourist and was proud as punch to see it like this for the first time with her handsome fiancé.
Before they left Bastian toasted their upcoming marriage with a champagne cocktail and kissed her avidly on the lips—just as she’d expect any man in love to toast his bride. Only she was still tormented by the idea that he didn’t love her at all. That he was only marrying her because she was having his baby.
* * *
Lily was upstairs, unpacking her suitcase, and even now that they were back at Lily’s small stone house Bastian could hardly settle to anything. That old fear of his—that fear of losing someone important to him—had inevitably surfaced. Losing his mother and then Marissa had seen to that, and if he cared too much about Lily it would be all the more painful if he should lose her. He might know without a doubt that he wanted her in his life, but after seeing her with Marc his feelings were running riot.
‘Bastian.’
Suddenly appearing halfway down the stairs, she halted to glance over at him.
‘I thought my unpacking could wait. There’s something I want to tell you about.’
Did she want to confess that she regretted parting company with her ex?
Having been sitting restlessly on the couch, he got to his feet even as his gaze examined her hungrily. She’d changed into loose-fitting linen trousers and a white shirt, and had freed her pretty hair from its topknot. Silken strands of gold glided gracefully down over shoulders. Silently he acknowledged how much he loved that look. The woman knew no artifice. She was simply always just herself.
The thought flashed through his mind that his mother would have adored her.
‘Then why don’t you come over here and sit down?’ he invited.
Not needing a second bidding, she complied, waiting for him to resume his place before dropping down beside him. Wanting to hold her hand, he saw that they were both folded in her lap. For the first time he noticed that her face was flushed and serious.
For a few disconcerting seconds Bastian’s stomach clenched. Then, ‘What is it?’
‘You said you wanted to hear the full story about Marc...’
He took an unsteady breath.
‘Anyway...’ Coiling some hair round her ear, she went on. ‘Seeing him again made me determined to tell you the truth about him and our time together.’
‘What do you mean by that? Are you going to tell me you’ve realised that it’s him you want and not me?’
Her expression was genuinely shocked. ‘How could you even think such a thing? Does what we’ve shared and the fact that we’re having a baby mean nothing to you? Do you think that all along I’ve been pretending that I want to be with you?’
Shaking his head, he felt his heart sink like a stone. ‘Right now I don’t know what to think.’
Lily’s gaze was intense. ‘I want to tell you about Marc because you and I are about to get married, Bastian, and I don’t want anything detrimental from my past hanging over me. I want to clear the air. I want you to know the full story of our relationship.’
‘You’d better tell me, then.’
Clearing her throat, she twisted her hands together.
‘I was twenty-six when I met him, and up until then I hadn’t had even one proper relationship. I’d steered clear because I was wary of commitment. I didn’t exactly have a good example from my parents, since they were always arguing and unhappy, and I didn’t want to be in a similar relationship. Marc said he was attracted to me right from the start and, encouraged by my friend whose husband worked with him, I thought, Why not go on a few dates and get to know him? I’d been on my own for a long time, and when I wasn’t illustrating books I was faced with the fact that I had no one in my life to help me enjoy it...
‘Well, to cut a long story short, I started to enjoy his company. He was very good to me, and he knew how to cheer me up when I was down. I began to look forward to our dates, and when he asked me to marry him I thought it would be a good idea. At least I wouldn’t be alone any more, and I’d have his support when I needed it as he would have mine. We went ahead and married. But then I found out something that I hadn’t expected, and my hopes for a better future disintegrated before my eyes.’
‘Was he cheating on you? Seeing someone else?’
Lily shrugged, and her silken hair unravelled from behind her ear and fell across her cheek.
‘I don’t know about that, but it’s what he revealed to me on our wedding night that made our union destined to fail. Marc is gay. He’s interested in men—not women.’
For what seemed like a long time words deserted Bastian. Of all the things he might have imagined, that hadn’t even remotely entered his head.
Unable to sit still, he got up to pace the floor for a few seconds. Then, spearing a hand through his thick dark hair, he stopped in front of his companion and angrily shook his head.
‘What the hell was he playing at? You mean to tell me he left it until you were married and on your wedding night to reveal this?’
‘Yes, he did.’
Briefly he saw a disconsolate flash of pain cross the incandescent green irises.
‘At the time I was truly shocked that he could be so selfish and marry me regardless. But afterwards I felt like I’d betrayed myself for not listening to my intuition.’
‘You mean you suspected the truth about his preferences earlier on?’
She nodded. ‘I did. But I convinced myself I was just imagining it.’
‘You weren’t to blame. It’s clear that he knew what he was doing when he tricked you into marrying him. He took appalling advantage of you. You should have rung the police and reported him straight away!’
Her glance was perplexed. ‘How would that have helped? I can just hear their question now: Did he coerce or threaten you into marrying him? I’d have had to say no. I walked into it with my eyes wide open.’
Now it was her turn to shake her head.
‘After the wedding night that didn’t happen he made me a deal. He said that if I stayed and acted like a devoted wife—accompanied him to corporate dinners and made out that I supported his drive for success—he would be more likely to get promotions than if he was single, because the powers-that-be were surprisingly old-fashioned in their views. In turn he would support me financially. I had nowhere else to go, so what else could I do but accept his offer? I’d given up my flat-share and burnt all my bridges. I knew if I stayed with him that at least I’d have a base from which to work.’
‘And so you stayed with him for nearly a year after his revelation?’
Bastian knew Lily must hear the disappointment in his tone because he saw her flinch.
‘I’m not proud of that. Can you imagine how humiliating it was for me? Living with a man who didn’t desire me and who had used my situation to better his own? But the fact was he knew his behaviour had hurt me and he tried to make things more bearable in any way he could.’
‘How? By giving you nice things and impressing you with what his money could buy?’
She made a sound of distress, feeling as if she might die of pain and embarrassment right there.
‘Do you really think I could be that shallow, Bastian?’
Swallowing hard, he knew his glance was fierce. ‘No, I don’t. But it makes me mad when I think of what that man must have put you through.’
‘Anyway, I knew what I had to do. I came up with a plan to free myself. Along with the payments I received for my illustrations, I put some of the money he insisted on giving me for housekeeping and clothes into a savings account, with a view to moving abroad as soon as I could. I thought I would put my foolish mistake behind me and start over again somewhere new. Even then I was thinking about going to Italy...’
‘So you told him you wanted a divorce?’
‘Strangely enough, he beat me to it. He’d met someone, you see, and he told me it was serious. He wanted the guy to move in with him and said he was quite happy to bring our arrangement to an end. He offered to make me a settlement but I refused. I’d saved enough to support myself for a while, and I didn’t want to be beholden to him in any way. However, at the last minute he insisted on writing me a cheque—to tide me over, he said, until I got back on my feet.’
She stood up, giving Bastian a forlorn glance that he didn’t immediately understand.
‘I’m sure you must think I’m an idiot for not taking him for all I could get. But...’
The beseeching look in her eyes nearly undid him. And then he realised why she seemed so sad. Her next words confirmed it.
‘But I’m just not like that. I can’t be something I’m not, and I won’t be cruel to someone just because they’ve hurt me. You probably think I’m too soft-hearted for my own good, and no doubt you’re right.’
‘You’re making a lot of assumptions about what I think, Lily. None of which are true. I like and accept you just the way you are. If you were any different, it’s likely we wouldn’t be together.’
Reaching the end of his declaration, he didn’t hesitate to take her into his arms. Gazing down into the moist emerald eyes that stared back at him, he tenderly smoothed back her hair and smiled.
‘From what you’ve said I can tell that the man must have been conflicted—although that doesn’t mean he should have done what he did. I’m glad I told him to stay away from you. But he’s your past, tesoro, and I am your present—and, I trust, your future. Forget him. He was nothing more than a passing black cloud on a sunny day.’
‘How do you have the innate ability to make me believe that everything will be all right?’ she murmured.
‘I have it because I care about you, and I don’t want our baby’s mother to doubt herself.’
‘I see. Then I’ll make sure to try and be more confident when the baby comes.’
‘Trying suggests effort, Lily. You don’t have to be any different from who you are right now. You just need to forgive yourself for what you judge to be your mistakes. That will help you more than anything.’
‘Hmm... Well, on that note, I think it’s time for me to go upstairs and finish my unpacking.’
She deftly extricated herself from his embrace and before he could stop her moved nimbly up the stairs. In a few short seconds she’d disappeared into the bedroom.
Her revelations about her marriage to Marc had left Bastian reeling. Was he at fault in persuading her to marry him when she might not want that at all? He hoped that wasn’t the case.
Relieved that at least she’d told him about life with her ex at last, Bastian was gratified that he could now focus on their wedding without any more suspicions that she might go back to the man.
* * *
She was ‘fashionably late’, as he’d heard a couple of guests in the congregation murmur.
Bastian was beginning to despise the phrase. ‘Fashionably’ should be replaced with torturously, as far as he was concerned.
His hand slid down the back of his stiffened shirt collar to loosen it. Even in the cool confines of the stone church it was surely as hot as Hades?
‘It will be all right son,’ his father reassured him smilingly—looking especially handsome today in an impressive tuxedo, and still recovering well from his heart scare. ‘I’m sure it’s just that her mother and her bridesmaids want to make sure she looks perfect for her special day.’
‘Lily always looks perfect.’
‘I agree,’ Alberto replied. ‘But you know how women like to fuss.’
Lowering his voice, Bastian said fervently, ‘She’s not just any woman...she’s my heart and my soul-mate.’
The older man wiped some moisture from his eyes. ‘That’s just the way I felt about your mother all those years ago...’
His son was squeezing his hand in empathy when the classical guitarist positioned at the front of the church started to play the opening chords of the bride’s processional music. The notes rang out as crisp and clear as crystal in the vaulted church.
Father and son turned together. And as he set eyes on his bride in her wedding finery for the very first time Bastian gasped under his breath. The intensity of his feelings for this exquisite woman could only be described by his heart and not his head, he knew. Yet her exclusively designed off-the-shoulder gown in elegant taupe and white silk organza rendered her as lovely as a fairy princess from a mythical tale.
The sweeping skirt barely hinted at her condition, but it didn’t matter to him one iota what people might think about it. He was certain of one thing: every man in the church must secretly envy his good fortune.
At the wedding breakfast afterwards he would bid his guests to raise their glasses to the most beautiful and gracious woman in the world: his wife, Lily Carrera.