WITH HER PROVOCATIVE question taunting him, Bastian’s gaze alighted on her flushed face. Dry-mouthed, he answered, ‘That’s easy. There are two things I’d like. First, I could really use a back massage. It’s hard on the muscles, digging over that land. And, second, while you’re doing that I’d like you to take off your robe.’
She sucked in a breath and slowly let it out. ‘Then come a bit closer and I’ll see what I can do.’
Climbing onto the bed, she turned towards him. How could she refuse him when she’d still not delivered on her promise that he would have something to look forward to when she’d stopped him undressing her the other day? Besides, she needed to have him close again. Just the two of them with no distractions.
Obligingly, he moved to sit down with his back towards her and positioned his jeans-clad legs over the side of the bed. His whole body tensed in anticipation even before Lily took off her robe or touched him.
As things transpired, she didn’t remove the garment straight away, but laid her hands on his skin and gently moved them round and up in circling motions. Initially not a lot of pressure was applied, but gradually her touches grew firmer, making him bite back the occasional groan. When she started to massage his shoulders—the place where he held most of his tension—he didn’t hold back on his feelings and this time let loose a full-throated groan.
‘I’m sorry if this hurts you, but I want to try and iron out some of the knots,’ she explained, and the warm breath that drifted over him added to his tension rather than lessening it.
‘Don’t worry. I’ll bear it. But I figure you’ve got to be a masochist to enjoy this kind of thing,’ he declared wryly.
Right then, her skilful manipulations were giving him the most intense pleasure combined with pain that he’d ever experienced. The temperature of his blood was already on simmer, and if Lily carried on like this for very much longer he’d turn around and strip off her robe himself.
The massage stopped suddenly. Scarcely daring to breathe, Bastian heard the rustle of her silken robe and sensed the cool satiny material briefly brushing against his flesh as she took it off.
‘I think the least I can do is reward you for being so brave.’
His heart started to beat hard and fast. When he turned around Lily was kneeling on the bed, her arms by her sides. For the first time he saw her in all her beauty, her exquisite form unhindered by clothing. Her smooth, slightly rounded belly was revealed in its glory, also the pink-tipped roundness of her perfect bared breasts.
A thrill of fierce possession at the thought that the baby she was carrying was his lit up his insides like a firework display.
Joining her on the duvet, Bastian laid his hands on hips that were pleasingly curvy in the flesh and hungrily impelled her towards him. Taking her mouth first, he claimed her lips with a hard, hot kiss...a sexy wet-mouthed kiss...and his tongue duelled commandingly with hers.
Hearing her pleasured moan, he tipped her back onto the bed and sat astride her, his strong thighs imprisoning her until he could undo his belt and take down his jeans. To his surprise, Lily’s eager hands reached his buckle first and skilfully undid it. When her fingers moved down to undo his zip his hand covered hers and helped guide her.
A moment later, as his gaze fell into her bewitching green eyes, he saw the unspoken invitation in her eyes. ‘How do you do that?’ he asked. ‘I mean, stoke the desire in me to a furnace with just one look?’
‘I think you should stop talking.’
His lover smiled, at the same time reaching towards him to help ease his waistband down over his hips. When she released him and encircled him with her hand Bastian’s desire quickly reached fever-pitch. But he didn’t take her straight away, like he’d done before.
Not even taking time to rid himself of his jeans, he kissed her on the mouth again, shamelessly goading her. Then he pushed her down onto the bed. Expertly guiding her silken thighs apart, he stroked his fingers over her most feminine place and teased her core. Feeling her delicious wetness, he started to explore her with his fingers.
With her beautiful hair tumbling over her shoulders, Lily moaned and threw her head back, and he knew that he wanted to pleasure her and take her to the ultimate moment of release even before he considered his own satisfaction.
He knew exactly when that moment arrived. She raised her hips and panted as though her pleasure was nigh on impossible to contain, and then she sank back into the bed, breathing hard. The expression on her face was one of sheer astonishment.
A few seconds later she breathed softly, ‘I didn’t know when you knocked on my door just now that you were going to take me to heaven...’
His lips edging into a smile, Bastian commented, ‘Then perhaps you shouldn’t have opened it?’
Before she could answer him he captured her lips. Releasing them, with no more delay, he unequivocally plunged inside her. Mindful of lying on her belly, he raised himself up, his biceps bulging powerfully as he took his own not inconsiderable weight.
He loved the way her expression responded to his attentions. Her features stayed outwardly calm, but her eyes were intense as she welcomed his body into hers, suggesting not the slightest resistance or doubt. If he’d had to describe her response he would have said that—trusting him—she surrendered naturally.
Owning to feeling a kind of satisfaction in an intimate union that he’d never felt before, he knew he was vastly enjoying giving her pleasure as well as taking his own. When his desire reached its zenith, consuming him with thrilling waves of carnal satisfaction, he released a full-throated cry and for a precious few moments gathered Lily into his arms.
Smiling up at him, she teased, ‘That was my turn to take you to heaven, amore...’
Rolling over to lie by her side, he tenderly stroked back her hair and commented, ‘If it were possible I would never leave this heavenly place I’ve found here with you, my angel.’
Her brow puckered a little. ‘If I didn’t know better I’d think you were a secret romantic. Are you?’
‘Only when I’m with you, beautiful.’
‘Well...’ She sighed. ‘All’s right with our world, then, isn’t it?’
But again, even before the words left her lips, Lily knew her world couldn’t possibly be right until Bastian told her that he loved her...
* * *
As soon as she entered the exquisite sixteenth-century church, she was suffused by an unexpected wave of guilt. Reflecting on why that should be, she quickly realised it must be due to the conditioning that people had been subject to down through the ages.
If Lily considered God at all, she didn’t believe he had ever set out to punish people for so-called wrongdoing. She liked to think he was much more forgiving. Even so, she couldn’t help smoothing her hand protectively over her belly as she sat down in one of the carved pews at the back.
Her baby had come from love—at least on her side—and that was what mattered, she told herself. All the same, the thought couldn’t help but stir her emotions.
The fact was, even though he was always eager to make love to her, Bastian had never actually said that he loved her. Even the other day, when she had instinctively turned the tables and asked him what he needed, the massage she’d given him had inevitably ended up with them being passionately intimate. And even though his words had been tender, he still hadn’t told her the one thing she really wanted to hear.
Anyone knowing her story would probably ask what she was complaining about. She knew it would appear that she had everything a woman could dream of. After all, she was living in a beautiful place, in inspiring natural surroundings that enabled her to do the work she loved, and she was having a baby with the most incredible man she’d ever met.
They’d had an electrifying connection right from the start. The kind of connection that surely only happened to the lucky few. But not to have his love... Lily would always feel that she’d been denied the most important and essential thing of all.
After dabbing at her eyes, she returned her handkerchief to her pocket and endeavoured to focus on the awe-inspiring architecture that surrounded her. Feeling sorry for herself was utterly pointless. Better to focus on what was right in her life.
This was her second visit to Bastian’s family church, and she was utterly charmed by its beauty and historical significance—but more importantly by how much it mattered to him.
In the past few days she’d learned more and more how considerate he was, and how he counted all the blessings in his life rather than just being thankful for the material ones. During their initial visit to the church he’d told her that he believed their coming baby was an incredible gift to them both and said he hoped she felt the same.
Of course she did, but she still had to pinch herself at the idea that all this good fortune was in any way real. She’d become so used to the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop—especially after her demoralising wedding night with her ex—that she almost expected things to go wrong.
But now, just when the urge to give in to her fears seemed almost too hard to resist the preternatural silence that surrounded her started to seep into her bones and have a profound effect. In the quiet and the stillness, for almost the first time in her life, Lily attested to feeling truly at peace.
As she breathed out a sigh the thought came to her that maybe everything was going to be all right after all.
* * *
An editor at the publishing house that commissioned Lily’s illustrations, Kate Barrington, had wasted no time in getting back to her. Lily had sent her the completed children’s story she’d written, along with illustrations, and had been on tenterhooks ever since.
The woman’s verdict was that it was just what the children’s market needed—‘A fresh voice that gently teaches valuable lessons as well as having an important sense of fun.’
Lily was bowled over by her comments, as well as being thrilled that they were interested in publishing the story.
In the meantime, now she was just over three months pregnant, her waistline was increasingly expanding. She’d had fittings for her wedding dress, praying it wouldn’t turn out to be a colossal waste of money if she got too big to wear it, but Bastian’s response to that observation had been to tease her.
‘I can get a seamstress to let it out as much as you need, sweetheart, so what’s the problem? And no matter how big you get, Lily, you’ll still be one hell of a sexy mama!’
After which he’d taken her in his arms and in very sexy Italian had incorrigibly whispered how much he wanted her.
But now she had another dilemma. Kate had invited her to London to discuss the book and have lunch. ‘Why not take a couple of days off and also do some shopping?’ she’d suggested.
Personally speaking, Lily couldn’t think of anything worse. It was bad enough that she wouldn’t see Bastian for what amounted to three whole days, when she included travelling there and back and the time needed to discuss the book, let alone dealing with the emotions that were bound to surface in the teeming city where previously everything had gone sour for her. But in the end, she decided she would go.
It was too good an opportunity to discuss her work and find out more about what the publishers were thinking of offering her and how they planned to publish her work. For instance, would they ask her to do another book? It would be a dream come true if they did. Wasn’t that always what she’d wanted? To write her own stories and illustrate them instead of just illustrating others?
That evening, after they’d eaten, she decided to pluck up the courage to tell Bastian about her intended trip.
Accepting the glass of wine she offered him, he put it carefully down on the table and patted the couch next to him, indicating that she join him. For a long moment he didn’t say anything, but his gaze suggested he was deep in thought.
‘I sense that you want to tell me something,’ he remarked.
Lily wasn’t at all surprised he had tuned in to her.
‘I do, as a matter of fact. I’ve been invited to go to London to discuss my book with an editor at the publishing house that employs me to do book illustrations.’
‘You mean they’re interested in buying it?’
‘Yes...it seems they are.’
‘When did you find out?’
‘This morning.’
‘And you didn’t think of telling me earlier? You could have rung me on my mobile.’
She had a knot in the pit of her stomach the size of a dinosaur egg hearing the dismay in his voice. ‘I suppose I didn’t say anything straight away because I knew I’d have to go to London. I’ll probably be gone for about three days or so, and I didn’t want you to worry...’
His hypnotic dark eyes narrowed. ‘Is there any need for me to be concerned?’
‘No, there isn’t.’
‘Well, it’s my observation that you’re a grown woman, Lily...not a child. Clearly you should keep this appointment.’
‘I’m glad you agree.’
‘In any case, I intend to accompany you.’
‘You do?’ She couldn’t contain her surprise. It was the last thing she’d expected him to say.
‘Of course. You’re going to be the mother of my child and I want to ensure that you are safe.’
Although what he said was true, she was hurt and disappointed that his main priority seemed to be the baby. He didn’t seem to be concerned about her...
‘Of course I’ll be safe,’ she said testily. ‘Have you forgotten that I lived and worked in London before I came to Italy?’
Bastian wasn’t moved. ‘Even so, it’s a big city, and people will be too concerned about themselves to consider a pregnant woman who’s on her own.’
‘I can’t be the only pregnant woman in London!’
He heaved a sigh. ‘Do you enjoy being deliberately difficult?’
Lily knew she wouldn’t win this particular battle. She was already aware that she was trying his patience.
‘I’m not being difficult. I only wanted to reassure you that I’ll be perfectly all right.’
‘Good. Then I will go and arrange our flights and a hotel. Can you tell me where your meeting is, exactly?’
* * *
Bastian hadn’t liked it one bit that Lily wanted to attend her meeting alone. He had never felt he needed to be needed before, but that was what this relationship had done to him. He certainly didn’t want to spend three days or more without her, and her announcement that she had to go to London had played on his insecurities. Especially because he knew that her ex still lived there.
What if they’d arranged to meet up? What if she still loved the man? More to the point, why hadn’t she been more forthcoming in telling him about her past relationships? Was she trying to hide something?
His stomach churned sickeningly at the thought.
Endeavouring to get a grip on his emotions, he told himself that at least he now knew that he would be accompanying her. Feeling relieved, he was determined to focus on the positives of the trip.
The fact that Lily’s publisher was interested in this new book was wonderful, but if memory served him right he hadn’t even offered his congratulations. He would at some point have to show her that he was more than pleased for her.
When she’d first given him the news about London he’d straight away speculated on all the things that might go wrong, worrying about her and the baby and whether she would be too vulnerable in a city that would be swarming with people—everyone intent on pursuing their own business and not noticing if she happened to be in trouble.
Rightly or wrongly, he knew he couldn’t let her do this by herself. Even though Bastian had talked to her many times about having more faith in her decision-making, he couldn’t totally trust that she would be safe. So, to ensure her and the baby’s safety, he was adamant he would make the trip with her.
* * *
Knowing that her enigmatic fiancé was waiting for her back at their hotel should have helped lessen Lily’s nerves about her upcoming meeting, but in truth it didn’t. It wasn’t that Bastian hadn’t been very forthcoming in wishing her luck, or in telling her that everything would go well, it was the fact that his over-protective behaviour had put her on edge.
She got the sense that he was more intent on making sure the baby was looked after than Lily, and that hardly reassured her. Add to that the fact that their personal irritations with each other had spilled over—both on the plane and during their arrival at the airport—she wasn’t looking forward to the discussion about her book as much as she should have.
However, Kate Barrington was reassuringly charming and set her mind at rest. Radiating a confident professionalism that Lily couldn’t help but admire, the woman was unfailingly warm and friendly.
From the moment she introduced herself in the reception area of a stylish London restaurant, she put Lily at her ease. And after ordering lunch from the menu, the women made easy and natural conversation right from the start.
Lily found herself relaxing more than she’d anticipated. However, the place was full of smartly dressed City types, and inevitably she couldn’t help but remember what it had been like to be part of that world when she’d been married to Marc. She had never felt more on the outside of things than she had then.
But just as her all too familiar habit of not feeling quite good enough threatened to rear its head, she called to mind some of the reassuring advice Bastian had given her. Such as never to believe she was less deserving of good fortune and admiration than anyone else. That in fact she could hold her own with anyone. Not just because she was beautiful and talented, but because she was a genuinely good person and they were rare in this world. Who wouldn’t want her company?
Her recent feelings of irritation towards him dissipating, she instead felt comforted by the very thought of him. As if to illustrate her feelings she laid her hand on her belly beneath the elegant gold-coloured tunic she wore and absently patted it.
‘When is the baby due?’
Lily answered automatically. ‘In about five months’ time.’
‘So he or she will be born in Italy?’
‘That’s right.’
‘And the father...is he Italian?’
‘Yes.’
‘What’s he like? Don’t tell me he’s absolutely gorgeous, with dark hair and big brown eyes, or I’ll cry into my soup.’
Lily was still smiling at the remark when she momentarily glanced away and saw a small coterie of elegantly suited men being shown to a nearby table by a pretty waitress. She stared in surprise as she immediately picked out her ex-husband. Marc still texted her now and again, but they hadn’t set eyes on each other since they’d divorced.
Seeing the expression on her face, Kate asked cheerfully, ‘Seen someone you know?’
‘My ex-husband.’
‘Oh. Is that going to be awkward?’
Lily was already shaking her head. ‘No... We’re still friends.’
‘So the divorce was amicable, then?’
‘Yes, it was...’ She grimaced. ‘Though that doesn’t mean it wasn’t painful that things didn’t work out as I’d hoped.’
‘I don’t doubt it. Most women are devastated when a relationship goes wrong. My sister went out with a guy in the same profession as that lot over there,’ Kate commented disparagingly, jerking her head in the direction of Marc and his colleagues. ‘He was just like them. He was quite full of himself and could be quite nasty at times. I’m not saying they’re all like that, but thankfully she’s with someone else now...someone in a caring profession—a nurse at Great Ormond Street Hospital. At least his heart is in the right place. He doesn’t earn much money, but he loves her to bits and she says she’s never been happier.’
‘Well, on that note, why don’t we drink a toast to all the good men in the world?’ asked Lily.
But even as she spoke, she wondered if she’d ever be free of the humiliating memory of once being foolish enough to marry a man who preferred the opposite sex to hers and had knowingly denied her a wedding night?