A lifetime ago, when Michael first knew the bastard…

The party raged on inside the den. As usual, Michael didn’t fit in. This was his brother’s crowd. Marshall was the popular twin. Michael was the average one. He got good grades but was mediocre at sports. It was odd sometimes having an identical twin who really wasn’t anything like him at all. Marshall was well-liked and everything he touched was golden. He was quarterback for the football team, played baseball and basketball. Michael had given up trying to measure up a long time ago. It didn’t help that he was the gay twin of the most popular guy in school. Yeah, that sucked.

He could hear the crowd of loud teenagers, stamping from the den to the backyard and back again. Each time they passed his bedroom door, Michael tensed. It was one thing not to fit in at school. When it came home with him, it was worse. Michael focused on his video game, trying to tune out the noise. He should’ve known Marshall wouldn’t let him hide all night.

His twin’s green eyes and dark hair popped inside the room, focusing on Michael. “Come join us. We’re about to hit the pool, and Chrissy just popped the lock on the liquor cabinet.”

Marshall always tried to get Michael involved. The problem was Marshall was blind to how much his friends hated and bullied him. He was blind to a lot of things. “Nah. I’m good. Don’t get drunk and drown.”

“Come on, Micha—”

A large hand appeared through the crack in the door, smacking Marshall upside the head. “No homos allowed.”

Marshall gave chase. “Fuck you, Gavin. Don’t disrespect my baby brother.”

Michael tried working up a smile. Marshall always defended him while pulling out that two-minute age difference. The smile wouldn’t quite take because he could still hear the laughter in Marshall’s voice as he chased Gavin down the hall. An ache started in the center of his chest. Of course it had been Gavin. At seventeen, Gavin Weeks was already over six feet of perfection. His dark hair always fell in his eyes, doing nothing to hide his intense almost amber gaze. He was the guy everyone wanted to be or do. Michael was no exception, even though Gavin was a complete ass.

Gavin: Everyone is out back at the pool. Meet me in the driveway.

He was also the ass Michael couldn’t stay away from.

After shoving his phone in his back pocket, Michael quietly slipped outside, leaving through the front door to avoid the crowd. He could hear the shouts, laughter, music, and splashing coming from the backyard as he searched the dark for Gavin. A gasp escaped him as a pair of strong arms encircled him from behind. Michael went hard as Gavin’s mouth opened over the side of his neck. Just like that, Michael was on fire. All the slurs against him in public slipped away when Gavin’s mouth was on his skin. He already knew those hateful words would come roaring back the moment he was alone. That was the roller coaster he was stuck riding.

“Damn, I’ve been dreaming of you on your knees all night.”

Oh, God. Gavin would make it worth his while. He always did. He’d been Marshall’s best friend for years and stayed at their home countless times. It had only been six months since Gavin cornered Michael one night and stolen a kiss. He’d been sneaking into Michael’s room ever since. They’d yet to have sex, but it wasn’t for lack of Gavin trying. The problem was—Michael was already half in love with Gavin. If Gavin made love to him, Michael would be lost. What then? They’d never be a couple. Those slurs and insults Gavin hid behind were already destroying Michael. As Gavin spun Michael in his arms and their mouths met, he felt whole. He didn’t understand how someone so wrong could feel so right while touching him.

Laughter moved closer and Gavin shoved him away. Michael barely finished scrambling for footing before Marshall, David, and Zoey rounded the corner. Michael nearly groaned. David especially loved tormenting him. He’d been taught hatred at his father’s knee and loved telling Michael he was going to hell.

“What do we have here?” David said, sounding overly loud and drunk. “Have you been hiding in the dark, making out with the homo?”

“Don’t,” Marshall said, half-heartedly attempting to stop what Michael already knew would escalate into something awful.

“Shut your fucking mouth,” Gavin growled, drawing all eyes his way. His hands were curled into fists and his face was set in a hard line. A bad feeling rose in Michael’s gut. Everything felt wrong.

“Or what?” David said, taking a step in Gavin’s direction. “People might find out the truth?” David added, still taunting Gavin. “Are you worried Marshall might find out how hot you’ve been for his dick? Since you know you can’t have it, you turned to the lesser brother. At least you can get your dick sucked while staring down at identical eyes. Everyone already—”

David’s head snapped back as Gavin’s fist connected with the center of his face. A crunching sound rent the air, and hot blood streaked out, splashing Michael’s arm. He couldn’t move or speak. Horror kept him in check. He couldn’t decide if it was David’s claims or Gavin’s violent reaction that shocked him more.

Michael’s gaze shot to Marshall’s. His face was a dark mask, making Michael’s horror deepen. He believed David’s claims. Michael knew his twin too well. He could see it written in every line of his brother’s face. Without a word or waiting to see who won, Michael walked away. His Jeep was blocked in, but the vehicle was a place of solitude in a moment when he needed the world to be quiet. He jumped behind the wheel and shut himself inside. Michael couldn’t stop himself from staring at the driver’s side mirror, watching the action. David and Gavin rolled around on the ground. Marshall dragged out the hose and turned it on them. Michael couldn’t hear what was said, but he heard the laughter when it began. Gavin scrambled to his feet and slung his arm over Zoey’s shoulders, steering her away—like she was the prize for winning.

Michael couldn’t breathe. David’s claims wouldn’t leave him. Was it true? Had Gavin turned to him because he couldn’t have Marshall? He didn’t know how long he sat there, letting the hurt and silence engulf him. Michael had done this to himself. He’d let Gavin keep him a secret.

A movement at the corner of his vision caught his eye. Michael turned his head, catching sight of Gavin and Zoey sneaking into the bushes, feet from where Gavin had kissed him earlier. A kernel of hatred sprang to life in his heart. Michael couldn’t look away as Zoey kissed a path down Gavin’s body, going down onto her knees. Something inside him broke. Michael started the Jeep, needing to get out of there. He didn’t care if he had to hit another car to accomplish it. The instant Michael’s Jeep fired to life, Gavin’s head jerked up. His gaze fixed on the driver’s side window. Michael knew it was too dark for Gavin to see him, but he knew Gavin understood he was busted. He didn’t push Zoey away the way he had Michael. The kernel of hatred became an inferno of loathing. He would never, ever forgive Gavin for this.

The passenger side door opened and Marshall slipped inside. He didn’t look Michael’s way. “Let’s go. Chris is moving his truck so you can get out.”

Michael’s eyes burned. Sometimes, he forgot how amazing his brother could be. He wanted to thank his twin for going with him, but his throat wouldn’t work.

Still, Marshall stared straight ahead, not looking Michael’s way. “I’ll never forgive that fucker for this,” Marshall said, sounding as furious as Michael felt.

Michael couldn’t get his voice to work until they were halfway down the road, even then he only managed a whisper. He glanced Marshall’s way. “Thank you for coming with me.”

Marshall finally looked his way. “You’ll always be my twin. Everyone else is replaceable.”

He’d always wondered how much Marshall knew but kept quiet. Even knowing he wasn’t alone, Michael still couldn’t talk about it. Maybe if he kept his mouth shut, no one would ever know how big of an idiot he’d been, but he’d know. Michael would never forget.