Saturday morning, I jump out of bed like the woman on a mission that I am—for today, anyway. Max’s birthday party starts at eleven, and I have a ton to do. I glance at the rumpled sheets on the other side of the bed and see that Ron is already up and at ’em as well. I’m impressed. I grab the To Do list I scribbled in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. Most of it is illegible but I can get the gist of it.
—Remind my parents where the party is, again
—Put gift bags in the car
—Pick up cake
—Pick up balloons
—Decorate party room
Normally I would farm some of this out to Vivs and Laura, but they are barely going to make it to the party. They are driving up from school with Raj and Travis and not leaving until ten this morning, because apparently Travis “needs his sleep.” Yes, Travis is still in the picture. I’m thinking this might be love for my little girl. Never mind that the great Steve Perry of Journey says, “Lovin’ a music man ain’t always what it’s supposed to be,” Laura is smitten and she’s going to roll the dice with Travis. God, I envy her. She has no idea what it’s like to get your heart broken.
I quickly shower, don the mom uniform, and trot down to the kitchen for a much-needed cup of joe. No sign of Ron, but I find a note taped to the Keurig telling me he has gone running. I pop a pod into the machine and grab the milk. It’s ridiculous how much I need this first cup.
As I’m savoring my maiden sip of the day, Max comes into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. He walks over for a hug.
“Good morning, sweetie pie.” I give him a big squeeze. “Happy birthday-party day.”
His eyes spring open so quickly it’s comical. “It’s my party today?” He starts to jump up and down, doing his happy dance, which looks a little like the way Martin Short dances as Ed Grimley. “Can we go now?”
I can’t help but laugh as it is only 8:30 in the morning.
“Well, we’ve got a few things to do before we go. First, breakfast. You want to have a lot of energy for the gym. How about an egg in the hole?”
“Okay.” He sounds a bit disappointed. I know he’s dying to get the party started. Just then Ron comes in the back door, looking like the Unabomber with sunglasses and his hood up.
“Man, is it chilly out there!” He stomps around for a bit, then shrugs his running jacket off.
“Dad, are you ready for the party?” Max asks.
“Absolutely, buddy. Just give me ten seconds.”
“Coffee?” I hold up my mug.
“Please.” He kisses me, then takes a huge chug from his water bottle.
I throw a pod in for him, then start on Max’s breakfast.
“I have a few errands to run before the party. Can you get Max ready and bring him to Emerald City around ten forty-five?”
“No problem. Want me to bring anything?”
“I think I’ve got it all. Just make sure the guest of honor is there.”
“Who’s the guest of honor?” Max asks. He has an orange juice mustache.
“You, silly.” I place the egg in a hole in front of him and he digs in with gusto.
The kitchen-counter office beckons me, so I have a seat and fire up the iMac to check my emails and send one to Asami.
To: JDixon
From: KHoward
Date: 03/10
Subject: Max’s party
Hello, darling,
Can you remind me where Max’s party is again? I keep forgetting the name of it. Also send me the address so I can put it in the Garmin.
Love,
Your Mother
To: JDixon
From: SCobb
Date 3/10
Subject: Today
Jennifer,
I’m just writing to make sure this party will be a safe environment for Graydon. Have they done a sweep for nuts and dust? Or should I send him with his mask?
Shirleen
I roll my eyes. I’d feel sorrier for that child if he wasn’t so much like his mother. I send my mom the address, tell Shirleen that a mask is always a good idea (that’ll teach Graydon to call my son a liar), and then send Asami the news she has been waiting for.
To: AChang
From: JDixon
Date: 3/10
Subject: Operation Who Is She?
Hi, Asami,
I think I’ve figured out a way to smoke out Sasha. Let’s meet at Starbucks before pickup on Monday.
Jen
I close the laptop and look at my watch. Yeesh! Nine fifteen already. I’d better get my ass in gear. I run up the stairs two at a time (’cause that’s how I roll these days) and holler to Ron, who’s in the shower.
“I’m heading out. Remember, get Max dressed and over to Emerald City by ten forty-five.”
“You got it!” he yells back. I can smell his musky shampoo from the hallway.
I charge back down the stairs and grab my keys from the hook by the kitchen door.
“I’m on my way, buddy. Dad’s going to bring you to the party.”
“Where are you going?” Max looks up from Ron’s iPad.
“I’m going to set up for the most awesome ninja party ever.” I give him a kiss on the head. “See you in a while.”
“Ninja!”
* * *
I have to give myself snaps. Max’s party is a bona fide hit. Seven boys from his class and three from his Cub Scout Troop all arrive in various forms of ninja dress and start running around Emerald City like it’s on fire. I told everyone it’s a drop-off party, but there are always mothers who want to stay. Today it seems everyone wants to hang out, so I’m treated to time with Peetsa, Ravi, Hunter’s two moms, Shirleen, Trudy Elder, Jackie Westman, and, to my delight, Jean-Luc Baton, whom I have not seen since curriculum night. Still gorgeous, I’m happy to report. I have to say that as much as I love my husband and happen to think he’s the bee’s knees, nothing can put a spring in your step quite like a good-looking man in your midst. Jean-Luc is the only dad here besides Ron, so they’re huddled in a corner, talking about work no doubt. The moms are sitting sipping coffee and looking happy to be doing nothing for a minute.
The party room looks great, thanks to my decorations and the ministrations of Brandon and Kayla, my Emerald City ambassadors. They were able to make magic with my Party City purchases and the black, green, and gold balloons I picked up this morning.
A flurry at the door catches my eye: my girls have arrived with their beaux. Does anyone say “beau” anymore? I picked it up when I was ten and reading Anne of Green Gables and it stuck with me.
“Mom, sorry we’re late. Seventy was a parking lot getting into the city.” Laura gives me a quick hug.
“That’s okay, baby. You haven’t missed much.” I look past her and wave to Vivs and Raj. “Where’s Travis?”
“Parking the car. Where should I put these?” She holds up a couple of presents wrapped in ninja paper.
“Over in the corner. Do me a favor and circulate with your sister—introduce yourselves to people. I have to go talk to my guy about the food.”
As if on cue, Brandon walks in.
“I think the boys are getting hungry. Should I bring the food out in about ten minutes?”
“Perfect. Thanks.”
“Would you like something besides pizza for them?” He nods toward the mothers.
Since I hadn’t been expecting eight moms, I hadn’t made any arrangements for them.
“Um … how about a couple of large Caesar salads with chicken?”
Brandon nods and heads off to the kitchen.
I walk toward Vivs and Raj and give them both a welcome hug.
“Thanks for driving in for this, you guys.”
“Like I’d miss Maxi’s birthday party!” Vivs snorts.
“Are grown-ups allowed to play out there, too?” Raj wonders.
“Why? You want to go play, little boy?” Vivs teases him.
He blushes. “Well, it looks like fun.”
“I think you can, Raj, just take your shoes off and watch out for rug rats.” I smile.
“Oh, rats don’t bother me. When I was a kid, I spent every summer in India.” He heads off, yelling for Travis to join him.
Vivs and I look at each other and burst out laughing. The moment is cut short when Max comes running into the party room. I see Ron has convinced him to wear plain old jeans and a T-shirt to his party. I’m thinking that might be why he storms over to me crying angry tears.
“I hate this party!” he yells. “Why did we have to have it here?”
“What on earth are you talking about?” I get down on one knee and hold his arms.
“I want another party somewhere else.” He’s sobbing now, and has a bubble of snot coming out of his nose. I look up and notice the whole room has gone quiet. I so love an audience when I’m having a bad moment with my kid. I give Peetsa a pleading look, and she nods.
“Does anyone need to use the bathroom?” She sounds like she’s asking a group of preschoolers. Most of the moms get up with her, but Trudy and Shirleen stay put. I turn back to Max.
“Max, calm down and tell me what happened,” I say in the nicest voice I can, considering I’m dying inside. Vivs and Laura have moved to stand behind Max in an attempt to make this moment more private. Ron has joined me on the floor.
“We … we … were at the mini r-r-ropes course.” He’s having trouble getting his words out. “And G-g-graydon wanted to do the grown-up r-r-ropes course…” He takes a deep breath as I rub his arms. “And they said no and Graydon said this is the worst party he has ever been to.” Max starts up a fresh round of sobs.
“He what?” I can see Shirleen charging over to where I’m kneeling with my son. Max moves into the safety of my arms.
“Shirleen, it’s okay. I’m handling it.” I’m hoping my look conveys how much I don’t want her to interfere. Apparently it doesn’t.
“Where is Graydon now, Max?” He shrugs. She stomps out of the party room.
“Is Graydon going to get in trouble?” Max asks, wiping his nose on his sleeve.
“I think he might, buddy,” Ron says.
“Good,” Max says firmly. “He says mean things.”
“Why don’t you hang in here, sweetie? The pizza is coming out soon.”
I hug him and get up off my knees to see that Nina and Garth have arrived, gifts for Max in hand.
“Hey, you guys! I’m so glad you could come. Max, look, Aunt Nina and Garth are here.” I send him over to give them a hug, which gives me the opportunity to take a huge “serenity now” breath. Ron puts his arm around my shoulder and gives me a squeeze.
“Best mom ever,” he whispers in my ear.
Hardly, I think, but I take the compliment with a smile.
Brandon and Kayla arrive with the pizza just as the boys are coming back from the play area and the mothers return from their fake visit to the bathroom. Last to arrive is Shirleen, followed by Graydon.
“Jennifer, there has been a misunderstanding. Graydon didn’t say it was the worst party he’s ever been to.”
“Yes, he did.” Max comes running back to me.
“He’s lying,” says Graydon. “He lies a lot.”
Whoa. Hold on there, bubble boy. You are in dangerous territory. I’m about to say something, but Max decides to come to his own defense.
“I don’t lie,” he says. “Almost never,” he adds with conviction.
“You lied about the one-armed man,” Graydon counters.
At this point, the entire room’s focus is on these two little boys. Even Shirleen is hanging back.
“I didn’t lie about him! He’s real. Zach B. saw him, too.”
Zach B. looks up and nods. He seems pleased to have been brought into the drama.
“Well, I don’t believe you.” Graydon folds his arms in front of his chest in an exact imitation of his mother. I almost burst out laughing.
“Wait a minute.” Garth steps in. I want to wave him off, but stop myself.
“Do you mean this one-armed guy?” He reaches into the gift bag he’s holding, pulls out a picture frame, and turns to the picture toward Graydon. From where I’m standing, I can see it’s a photo of Jack, from the day of the indoor mudder. He has his one arm around both boys, and they are all smiling.
“Yes!” Max yells as if he has won the lottery … or a good game of Lego Indiana Jones. He runs to hug Garth and takes the picture. “See, Graydon? I told you I wasn’t lying.” He is beaming.
“We told you.” Zach B. puts his arm around Max.
Graydon walks closer to the boys for a better look at the picture. After studying it for about ten seconds, he hands it back to Max.
“Cool. Mom, what can I eat here?”
If I was hoping for an apology, I was going to be disappointed. That “cool” was all the ground Graydon was ever going to give. I look at Garth.
“You are my hero,” I mouth to him. He nods and winks. Nina blows me a kiss.
The kids have already moved on and are scarfing down pizza like it’s the first and last time they will ever have it. I’m sitting with the moms, enjoying chicken Caesar salad and a delicious cup of smugness. Shirleen sits down beside me.
“Well, I’m sure glad the boys hashed that out. It’s good to get to the truth, I always say.”
Clearly, she doesn’t notice the slice of humble pie in front of her. There are many ways I could respond, but I go with a nod and a smile.