What the fuck is going on here tonight?

Ethan looked around at the increasingly packed bar as he drank his whiskey. He had come from a long shift at the hospital and was ready to unwind at his favorite spot: The Spout. It was normally a quiet place during the early evening, with a casual mix of professionals and party-goers pre-gaming before they went off to a bigger club. He used to enjoy sitting at one of the farthest booths, the one with the palm tree etched onto the corner of the table, but now-a-days his spot was right at the bar, where the drinks came faster and the conversations kept his mind from racing. He wasn’t expecting a swarm of well-dressed young people to storm through the doors and pack his usual haunt. He looked around as people started elbowing their way to the back of the bar, where a large stage was set up. The bartenders looked like they were having a blast as they tossed and twirled vodka bottles and bottle openers, their dark shirts tied up in the back, showing off all of their impressive midriffs. Boys and girls alike came to gawk at the bartenders.

“Are you guys giving away free drinks tonight?” Ethan asked Jessica, one of his favorite bartenders. She always had a great story to entertain him with. Last week it was the one about her new puppy waking her up in the middle of the night with what she called a ‘five alarm septic disaster all over the beige carpet’.

“Some big music guy is kicking off his first tour here.” She smiled as she wiped down the bar in front of Ethan before her attention was caught by a waving dollar bill. She wrapped a knuckle on the bar and went to pour more drinks. Ethan turned back toward the stage. It wasn’t a huge space, but the dance floor was big enough to fit a good sized crowd. A hundred? Maybe more if Ethan had to guess. He had never seen it this crowded though. He was usually back home before the night really began.

Reminds me of college.

The good old days. When Ethan didn’t constantly feel like the world was set on destroying him bit by bit. The past few years had really hammered that feeling home.

He drank another gulp of the cold whiskey.

The performance didn’t take much longer to start. Ethan considered leaving but he had nothing better to do and had the next day off, so he said ‘fuck it’, ordered another drink and pivoted on his stool so that he could watch what the fuss was about.

The opening act was nothing special. Ethan felt like he had seen it a dozen times. A song about lollipops and kissing girls and champagne showers. The singer, Caeri, put on a good show, Ethan couldn’t deny that, but her songs just weren’t for him. The rest of the crowd seemed to be eating it up though, bouncing up and down along with her as she sang her heart out. The lights on the stage shined bright on her short neon blue hair, making her pop like a fairy out of a storybook.

When she was done singing four of her songs, the stage went dark and the main act was teased by Caeri. The crowd started cheering the moment a shadowy figure took his spot on the stage. The lights hadn’t even come back on yet and people were already losing their minds. Ethan felt the energy of the moment rush over him. He had no idea who the hell he was about to see perform, but he was going to enjoy it regardless.

And then the lights came on and Ethan came undone.

There, standing on stage, framed by the strong white lights beaming from behind, was a man who literally took Ethan’s breath away. He felt himself inhale sharply, as though he were about to be dunked headfirst into a pool.

It was in the man’s stance. The strong shoulders and powerful arms. Even more so in the man’s eyes. They were a soft brown in color that caught the stage lights and reflected back like endless pools of liquid amber. And that smile as he looked out onto the crowd.

Holy fuck, that smile.

Ethan managed to tear his eyes away long enough to take another drink. He had to soften this swell of lust that had suddenly consumed him.

That was all it was; lust. He hadn’t gotten any since… well, it was going on almost two years, now.

Maybe it’s about time.

That’s when the man — Crow Kensworth, he said his name was — that’s when Crow started to sing and cast an entirely different spell over Ethan. He looked up from his glass and found himself instantly transported to the world Crow sang about. It was like the words had been written specifically for Ethan, an absolutely ridiculous thought that had his pulse run a little quicker. Crow’s voice had a croony aspect to it that quickly picked up and turned into a poppy sort of rap during the chorus, rising up into a harder hitting rock tone that reminded Ethan of Paramore, one of his favorite bands. He was blown away by the notes Crow was hitting, all while jumping around the stage and putting on a performance made to sell out entire stadiums. It was obvious that Crow lived to perform, and that feeling was infectious, spreading out into the crowd and creating an unmatchable energy.

He sang three more songs before their eyes met and the entirety of both their lives changed forever.

Jesus.

Crow had been looking in the crowd for someone to bring up onto the stage when he looked to Ethan. The world caught fire the instant they locked eyes. Ethan felt like he should look away, down at his glass, he felt guilty for feeling this much sudden want for a person, but he was transfixed. He wasn’t too far from the stage, but he didn’t have front row seats either, and yet he could make out the man’s features as though they were a story he was telling for the hundredth time.

He had only felt this way once before, and that story ended in tragedy. He wasn’t about to open up another one of the same books.

Ethan managed to break his gaze. He looked down at his empty glass, wondering what the hell he was doing there, surrounded by a bunch of drunk college kids, some looking younger, worshipping the Adonis with a voice. He should have just gone straight home, like he had been planning. A new season of House of Cards had dropped and was begging to be binged, but Ethan had decided a drink at his usual spot wouldn’t hurt. He had only started coming back to this place again in the past five or so months. He found that the memories it held were easier to bear as time passed.

The crowd exploded when Crow brought up his guest. Ethan looked up and recognized that one film star everyone seemed to be drooling over lately. He had seen him on a billboard on the way here, looking like the next James Bond, jumping out of a racing Ferrari with guns in both hands, arms outstretched. He definitely looked like a movie star, but that wasn’t enough to keep Ethan’s eyes from immediately going back to Crow; the main course. He took a moment to admire the man from the white Converse, up the tight black jeans, over the button-down shirt with scrunched up sleeves that highlighted some sexy ass forearms, and right to those light brown eyes that caught the light in a magical kind of way. Crow wasn’t looking at him in that moment, allowing Ethan a little more freedom to unabashedly check the singer out.

The men started to sing, then. Everyone seemed to be surprised by how well the actor was doing, but Ethan didn’t really care. All he focused on was Crow, watching him sway to the music, his body working like a hypnotist’s pendulum. He was mesmerized. A snake held by the sensual notes of a flute, dancing and swirling in a pattern that locked the snake in place. Soon, he found himself swaying too, moving to the music, not even listening to the lyrics but being moved by Crow’s voice alone.

And those eyes. They were light brown, Ethan could see them from where he sat, lit up by the stage lights, radiating a warmth of their own. Alluring. Ethan immediately felt comfortable, even though he had absolutely no prior knowledge of who this man was or how he even acted. But something in those eyes felt so familiar. Like a friend from long, long ago, only now bumping into one another.

Then, Crow seemed to have found him in the crowd and he began to sing those crooney words directly to Ethan, and Ethan melted. He fucking melted. He didn’t know what came over him, but he was sitting there with his heart racing and his palms sweating and his whole world funneling in on the man with the other-worldy voice.

“Crazy good, huh?” It was an extremely excited fan, her blonde hair streaked with a bright slab of pink. “I’ve been following him since he first started his YouTube channel.” She was smiling proudly, as though she was wearing a badge of honor. “You a big fan?”

Ethan was still caught off guard by how affected he had been by the man on the stage. “I think I am now,” he said in a moment of simple honesty. The girl broke into a fit of giggles and turned her attention back to the stage as Crow ended his set. The audience cheered and clapped for more, they didn’t want the performance to end.

Ethan, on the other hand, was finding himself to be ok with it ending. He felt like if he sat there for a second longer, he would have completely lost himself. It wasn’t like him. He was never taken this badly by a man he didn’t even know. He just had to go home, jerk off, have another drink, and go to sleep. He’d wake up, go back to work at the hospital, and forget all about this night. That was how things were going to go. How they were supposed to go. Ethan remembered the last time he had felt like this, and he was scarred from the way that ended.

He got up from his barstool, glad that his legs decided to work, and started to try and get the bartenders attention so he could close his tab. The faster he got home, the faster he could start forgetting about Crow Kensworth.