Chapter 23

Julie

When Julie went home from the event, she was devastated. He was such an asshole, she thought. How could the man she'd gotten to know be the same one she'd just walked away from? She'd stood up to her dad for him, and she'd believed every word of what she'd said about him. Cody was a good guy, or so she thought. It wasn't true. He wasn't a good guy at all. How could that be? How could she have been so wrong about him? How could he have used her like that, and why would he stick it out for five months? What did he think he was going to get out of her? Why had she taken her guard down with him? How could she have let it happen?

Julie fell into her sister's arms as soon as the apartment door closed behind her. They talked, and she cried, harder than she ever had in her life. Before she knew it, her eyes were closing, and she fell asleep, still in the arms of her sister.

When Julie woke up the next morning, she saw the bag she'd taken with her the night before, so she knew he'd been there. Part of her wanted to know what he'd said, but another part of her didn't. She was done with him, and nothing was going to change her mind.

Between her tears, Julie did what she did best, she worked.

By the time Monday came, she'd made a huge dent in the project she was working on, and she was exhausted. As much as she didn't feel like getting up, she had to. Her students needed her, so she pulled herself out of bed and got in the shower. With a towel wrapped around her, she opened the bathroom door and headed toward her bedroom. Then she heard a voice, and she froze.

“How's she doing?”

It was Jason. What was he doing there?

“Fine,” Jessie answered.

“Fucker's lucky I don't pay him a visit and kick his ass,” Jason growled out.

Before Julie could stop herself, she stormed down the hallway and rounded the corner to find him standing on the other side of their open apartment door.

“You're not kicking anyone's ass,” she snapped out, as she walked toward him.

“Julie,” Jason said, as he stepped toward her, pushing the door closed behind him.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

“You'll leave him alone,” she said, rougher than she should have, and she knew it.

Still defending him, she thought, as she shook her head.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, as she pushed out of his arms.

“I needed to see you,” he answered. “You weren't answering my calls, so I reached out to Jessie. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“You've never flown in to see me,” she said. “Were you at your parents' house already?”

Julie didn't know why, but she suddenly felt like her guard was up all the way around. Years ago, she'd had a crush on him. Such a crush that she begged him not to leave, but he did. Racing had been the only thing that mattered to him, and that hadn't changed. It had taken her a long while, but she'd become okay with that. Her life had gone in it's own direction as well, and she was happy, well mostly anyway. They were still close, but not once had he shown interest in her since leaving. They talked on the phone about their day to days or about their families, but that was it. So, why was he there, she wondered?

“No,” he said, in a defensive tone, as his eyes moved down toward the ground. “I care about you, Julie. I won't stand by and let anyone hurt you.”

“You've never been there for me before,” she said, thinking about the months that would go by where she wouldn't hear from him. “Why now?”

“Seriously?” he snapped. “How can you say that? You're my best friend. I love you.”

“I love you too, Jason,” she said, with a shake of her head, “but you being here doesn't make sense. It just doesn't. I won't hear from you for weeks or even months at a time. You've never once came to visit me, not for any reason. So, why are you here?”

“You're my best friend, Julie,” he said, keeping his eyes on his feet. “Just the thought of you being with that fucker has me a mess. Why him? What do you see in him? You shouldn't be with him.”

Julie looked over at Jessie, who was motioning toward the baby's room.

“Seriously?” she asked, as she nodded and then looked back at him. “You were the one that left. You do remember that, right?”

“Yes,” he answered. “He's an asshole, Julie.”

“You think you can stay gone for years and then fly through just to tell me who I can and cannot like?” she asked. “That's not how it works, Jason. And if what you say is true, you should be happy. I'm not with him. Haven't talked to him since Friday.”

“Julie,” he said, as he finally looked up from the ground.

“You couldn't even say that stuff while looking me in the eye,” she said. “At least he could look me in the eye, even while he fucked me over.”

“Julie,” he said, in a pleading tone.

“No,” she said. “Not right now. I have to get to school.”

“Can I see you later?” he asked.

“I'll meet you for lunch,” she said. “I'll text you the information. I have to get ready. You need to leave.”

Jason nodded, and without another word, he turned and walked out the door and toward his car. She closed the door quickly and shot a glare her sister's way.

“What?” Jessie answered.

“Why did you tell him?” she asked. “Did you call dad and tell him too?”

“No,” Jessie said. “Of course not. He called sounding all worried. He's your best friend. I figured you'd tell him anyway. Are you totally skipping over the fact that you were a complete bitch to him?”

“I know,” Julie said, as she walked over and plopped down onto the couch. “I shouldn't have been that way. I just couldn't help it. He's never come here, Jessie. You know that.”

“I do,” Jessie said. “That's why I wasn't afraid to tell him. He scared the shit out of me. What if Jackie would have cried out? I would have been screwed.”

“That's a whole other problem,” Julie said. “Back to Jason. What's up with that? He's been off doing whatever with whoever, and the moment I show interest in someone, he's all over that shit. I don't get it. What does he have against Cody?”

“Why are you defending Cody, Julie?” Jessie asked. “If he used you and hurt you the way you say he did, why do you care?”

“I do,” Julie snapped out. “He hurt me. That doesn't mean I don't still have feelings for him. I love him. Do you know that? Did I tell you that? I fucking told him I loved him. I must have looked pathetic.”

“No, you didn't,” Jessie said. “Can I tell you something?”

“What?” Julie asked.

“I don't think he used you,” Jessie said, and Julie felt her eyes go wide. “Give me a second before you go all I can't believe you're on his side and shit. Think about it. He found out I was pregnant, and he knew dad didn't know. Don't you think he could have used that? He could have totally fucked with dad's head with that alone, but he didn't. Instead, he helped us get things ready. He came to the hospital. He's played with the baby. Not once has he told anyone, Julie. He also knows all of the shit about you and dad, but he didn't use that either. He never said a word. Not to mention the fact that he's still around after months of getting nothing, not one bit of useful information. Why do you think that is, Julie?”

“I don't know,” Julie said, as her face fell into her hands. “I just don't know.”

“He went to our parents' home, and he faced all of them,” Jessie continued. “That couldn't have been easy. Do you think he did it just to fuck with dad? If so, why didn't he say anything while he was there? You know I'm right.”

“Doesn't matter,” Julie said, as she stood and headed toward her room. “I don't care if he used me for one second. The point is that he did and that his original intentions were bad. I don't need that. I don't want it.”

Julie got ready for work and headed out without another word to her sister. She hadn't heard from Cody once all weekend. That meant something. How could her sister not see that?

As soon as she got to class, Julie pulled out her phone and sent a message, with an address and a time, to Jason. A long time ago, she would have gone running for him, but she wasn't that girl anymore. She'd felt things when she was with Cody that she'd never felt before, not even with Jason. Things had changed, and the feelings she got from having Jason show up, acting like he cared, were proof of that. They were best friends, but it was nothing like it used to be for her.

Julie's first two classes went by in a blur. She'd never had such a hard time concentrating on what she was teaching, and it pissed her off. Her students didn't deserve a teacher that wasn't completely there. That wasn't what they were paying for, and that wasn't what they needed.

If dealing with what Cody had done wasn't enough to mess with her head, Jason had added himself to the mix. She knew getting over Cody would take time, but the whole Jason thing was something she could deal with right away. In all honesty, she didn't want a man in her life, not for any reason, and she wasn't sure when she'd be ready to deal with any of them.

Julie pulled into the parking lot of the diner she'd asked Jason to meet her at. They had two hours to talk. She hoped they could come to some type of agreement by then. He had to leave. There was no way he could stay, and that was Jessie's fault. That was not something Julie was ready to take on either. There was already so much on her plate that she felt like it was overflowing, and she wasn't about to add one more thing to it.

As soon as she stepped out of her car, she saw Jason leaning up against a car a few cars down. His head was down, and his eyes were glued to the phone he was holding in his hands. She watched him type at record speed for a minute or so before she walked toward him.

“You ready to eat, or do you have something better to do?” she asked, feeling a bit offended that he'd not once looked up from his phone to see if she was even there.

“Can we talk out here?” he asked. “I have something I need to tell you.”

“I have two hours before my classes start again, and I didn't eat this morning,” she said. “If you want to talk, we can do it in there. If you want to stay out here and deal with whatever has you typing like a man on a mission, then go ahead.”

“I guess we can eat,” he said, as he shoved his phone in his pocket, walked toward her, and threw his arm over her shoulder, before leaning down and kissing her cheek. “Lead the way.”

Julie walked them toward a corner booth and sat down. She grabbed the menu and quickly looked it over. Once the waitress took their orders and walked away, Julie looked across the table at Jason.

“I'm sorry for earlier,” she said. “I was very rude to you, and I didn't mean it. I've got so much more going on than you know, and you showing up out of nowhere had me putting my guard up.”

“Julie,” he said, as he reached across the table and took her hands in his. “You never have to have your guard up with me. I've known you forever. I'd never do anything to hurt you.”

When she didn't say anything, he gave her hands a squeeze.

“You believe me, right?” he asked.

“I honestly don't know,” she answered.

“What the fuck has he done to you?” Jason growled out.

“Him?” she asked roughly, as she pulled her hands from his. “Believing you has nothing to do with him. Why would you even ask that? Has my dad been filling your head with shit about him too?”

“I did speak to your father after you stormed out that day,” Jason said. “And yes, I've talked to him since, but what has me pissed is the way the little punk treated you himself.”

“First of all, you shouldn't know anything about how he treated me,” she snapped. “My sister shouldn't have said a damn thing. This is something you will not tell my father.”

“If you answered your phone, I wouldn't call her,” he snapped back.

“Second of all,” she started, completely ignoring his comment. “What happened between him and me had nothing to do with you.”

“Julie,” he began, but she cut him off.

“No, Jason,” she said. “There have been times you've not answered my calls for days, so I don't want to hear that shit. You called and text me more the week after I came home from my parents' than you have in a very long time. After that week, nothing. Now, you find out he did me wrong, and here you are. I don't get it.”

The waitress walked up with their food, and the second she was gone, he began.

“I love you, Julie,” Jason said.

“I love you too,” she said. “You know that.”

“No, I really love you,” he said. “I didn't like seeing you with him. I don't know what it was, but it pissed me off. Seeing you pull away from my arms for him tore at my heart. He's not worthy of you, Jewels.”

“It's my dad,” she said. “It's all the shit he's ever said. That's why you don't like him.”

“No,” Jason replied. “I don't like you being with him. He's not the one you should be with. I am.”

“You piss me off,” she said, as she took a bite of her food with a shake of her head.

“I know,” he said.

“No, you don't,” she said, as she leaned her head in her hands and continued. “There was a time I would have followed you anywhere, Jason. I begged you not to go, but you did. Before you say anything, I get it. I do, but that doesn't change how bad it hurt me. We talked a lot at first. Then you got busy, and you didn't have as much time anymore. Don't think I haven't seen your social media page either. I know your ass has gone from one woman to the next and partied way more than I could imagine. I had a huge crush on you. Shit! I can even say that I used to love you, but you couldn't be bothered with me. Now that I've found someone I care about, someone I love, you come back to tell me you've changed your mind.”

“Love,” he snapped out. “Did you just say you love that asshole? You're not even talking to him.”

“I know,” she said, as she looked up from her hands. “You're right, I'm not, and I may never talk to him again. That doesn't change how I feel, how I felt just a few days ago. To hear you say you love me pisses me off. I know that's wrong. I know I should be happy, but I'm not. After you left, I'd dream about you coming back for me, but you never did. Now that I've moved on, you're here. I'm sorry, Jason. You are my best friend, but that's it.”

“But you're not talking to him,” he said, repeating something he'd already said.

“I know that,” she said, “but I've felt things with him that I've never felt before, Jason, not even with you.”

“Julie,” he said, as he set his fork down and looked into her eyes.

“I can't help how I feel, Jason,” she said, as she closed her eyes for a moment. “Even if I'm not with him, I still can't be with you.”

“But,” he began, but she cut him off.

“When I got out of my car, I watched you on your phone for a good bit before I said anything. That's not what I want. If you truly loved me, you would have been waiting for me,” she said. “As bad as that sounds, it's true. I really feel that way. The worst part about it is that I'm pretty sure you were texting a woman.”

“What?” he asked. “Why would you say that?”

“Were you?” she asked.

“Julie,” he said, in a rough tone.

“Were you?” she asked again.

“Not the way you think,” he said. “She's a friend of mine.”

“Funny,” Julie said. “I bet if I looked in your messages, you've been busy texting lots of friends in the last week or so. You don't love me, Jason. You just don't want anyone else to either.”

“That's not true,” he snapped.

“Which part?” she asked.

“Julie,” he said.

“I do love you, Jason,” she said. “I just don't love you like that, not anymore. You deserve better than me. You deserve someone that's going to be right there every second. You deserve someone that's going to love you unconditionally. That's not me. You don't love me, not like you say you do. I need you to go back home.”

“Seriously?” he asked.

“Yes,” she answered. “I've got more on my plate than I can handle right now. I'm teaching a full load of classes, and I don't know if you know this, but I outbid my dad, my uncle, and Cody on a job, and I have to get it done, so that's what I do every minute that I'm not in a classroom.”

“You outbid them all,” he said, in a shocked tone. “How did I not know this?”

“I didn't tell you,” she said. “Just like you don't tell me everything anymore. It's a big deal. If I can pull it off, my stock will go up big time.”

“If anyone can beat them all, it will definitely be you,” he said. “You like it here?”

“I do,” she answered. “Even without him, I still like it here. This is where I belong.”

“What happened to us?” he asked.

“You moved on, so I did too,” she answered, as she reached across the table and took his hands in hers. “You'll always be my best friend though. Don't ever forget that.”

“I don't know why I ever let you go,” he said.

“Neither do I,” she said, with a laugh that had him laughing right along with her.

“You're going to kill it,” he said. “I know you will.”

“I sure hope you're right,” she said, and just like that, they were back to normal.

Julie went back to school, and Jason headed for the airport. As much as it hurt to watch him leave, she knew it was what was best for both of them.

As soon as she walked back into her classroom, she heard her phone ding, so she checked it.

Cody: I'm trying to give you space, but I can't do it. I miss you so much, Julie. It's not what you think. Please talk to me. Just one conversation. Please. I'm not too proud to beg.

Julie shoved her phone into her bag and moved on. She didn't plan to reply. Like one conversation would be enough for him to explain himself, she thought. No way! That was not happening.

Between school and her project, Julie kept herself busy. Her tears were coming less and less. Jason either called or text each day. She enjoyed talking to him, but she rushed him off the phone each time so she could get back to work. When flowers showed up at her door from him, she didn't know what to think. Then she read the card, and her mind eased. He really was her best friend.

For the first week, Cody sent two texts a day. She knew if she blew them off, they would stop, but they didn't. During the second week, he was sending them all through the day. He wasn't giving up, and she was more confused than ever. By the beginning of the third week, they were coming all day long, and they had grown. They weren't just tiny one liners anymore, not at all. Instead, they were whole paragraphs about work and life. Some even included pictures of him sitting in meetings, and others had her unable to hold back her laughter. He was something else.

Julie had been so close to giving in and texting him back multiple times, but she didn't, and she was damn proud. It had taken all she had not to do it. With each new message, it was getting harder and harder, and she honestly wasn't sure how much longer she could hold out.