Chapter 25 (Asher)
I watch him as he stirs in his sleep and my pulse jumps. I almost want to pinch myself, because I still can't believe this is happening.
But it is. I keep waiting for him to have that moment of doubt and tell me it's a mistake, but so far it hasn't happened yet. After we walked into his apartment we stayed up the whole night talking. He told me about what happened in his meeting with the Dean, and also warned me about how we have to be careful because technically he's not supposed to be messing around with students.
And although I hate being kept a secret...I completely understand it. Landon offered to set me up with another tutor and to come clean to Dean Crane, but I told him no. Because my attraction for him aside, he's one of the best tutors I've ever had, and I need him.
So, we both agreed that it was in my best interest to keep our personal relationship on the down low.
We didn't talk about the elephant in the room—but I know we're going to have to...and soon. Because the elephant will be back in a few more days.
He rolls over and gives me a sleepy smile. “I didn't know you went in the shower. You should have woken me.”
Before I can answer, he hooks his finger into my towel and pulls me to him. I still can't get over how calm he is about this. Not only is he affectionate with me—he's relaxed around me.
He's handling this way better than I ever did.
“Are you sure you've never dated a guy before?”
When he lifts a brow in question I say, “What I mean is, aren't you freaked out about this? It's okay if you are, totally normal.”
He sits up and leans against the headboard. I plop down beside him and prepare myself for a slew of questions. Because he should have questions and concerns.
He appears to be lost in deep thought before he speaks. “I think I'm more freaked out about how not freaked out I am about it. If that makes any sense.”
It does...because I'm most definitely freaked out about how unruffled he is.
“Have you ever been attracted to guys before?”
He shakes his head. “Nope. You're the first.”
My stomach starts to drop because that doesn't bode well for me, but then he says, “Well not exactly—” His face screws up. “I've never been physically attracted to guys in the past. But I've been emotionally and mentally attracted to all sorts of people. Women and men. Does that make sense?”
I shake my head, because it doesn't. I don't have a connection with many people...so my attraction has always been purely physical first and foremost. It's probably why I can separate sex and feelings so easily. Because I don't have them.
Well...with the exception of Breslin and Landon. It was the grand fucking trifecta with the both of them.
I wiggle my eyebrows. “Have you done the porn test?”
“Porn test?” he questions.
I run a hand along the back of my neck and shrug. “You know, jerked off to gay porn, see if it gets you all hot and bothered.” I give him a side glance. “Unless nerds don't watch porn.”
“No I haven't done the porn test, asshole.” A flush breaks out across his face. “Besides, I'm pretty sure we did the porn test last night. You know, when you were sucking me off.”
A lump fills my throat, because last night was only half the battle.
It's easy to let another person get you off. Hell, supposed straight guys have been lying to themselves for years, insisting that it doesn't make you gay just because you let a homo suck your dick.
I fold my arms across my chest, bitterness washing over me. Because I can see the end of us before we begin. I know exactly how everything's going to unfold. Last night was nothing more than research. An itch to be scratched before he crawls back to her.
I don't realize I've said that last part out loud until he his eyes widen and his jaw ticks. “Is that what you think I did? That I used you last night?”
“No.” I falter. “Did you?” Jealousy settles over me and wraps around my heart like a cloak. “What happens when she comes home?”
There's a long silence that makes my teeth clack, before he says, “I don't know.”
He reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze. “I don't want to lie to you, Asher.” He frowns and looks at me. “I can't peer into my crystal ball and tell you what the future holds. The only thing I can do is promise you that I'll never lie to you about my feelings, and you'll always know where I stand.”
I straighten my spine against the headboard. “Where do you stand right now?”
He shifts so he's sitting in front of me. “Where I stand is that I'm into you. Last night...wasn't an experiment. Gay, straight, or bi...the label doesn't matter—because I wanted you. And when I think about you doing it again—I still want it...I still want you.” His eyebrows crash together and he points to his chest. “But someone was here first. And while most people would say that I don't owe her an explanation...my heart says that I do. I'm not going to lie to her about you, or my feelings for you...but I'm not going to sit here and lie to you about my feelings for her, either. Do you understand?”
I nod. “I understand, but you still didn't answer the question. What happens when she gets back? Who's your choice?”
His expression turns serious and he blows out a breath. “I can't make that decision right now.” His face twists. “I don't think I'll ever be able to make that decision. All I can do is be honest with the two of you and let the chips fall where they may.”
He leans in and slides his hand around my neck, pulling me close. “And right now, I'm really enjoying this chip in my bed.” His teeth sink into his bottom lip. “God, that was cheesy.”
I tilt my face forward. “It was, but you're hot as hell to wake up to so I'll let it slide.”
His mouth curves into a grin and he licks his lips. “Is that so?”
I look down at my towel and gesture to the wood I'm sporting. “You tell me?”
He follows my gaze and swallows. I open my mouth to tell him that I wasn't insinuating that he needed to do something about it, but he kisses me.
And unlike last night's kiss...there's nothing tentative or delicate coming from his end. It's carnal and savage...virile. All teeth crashing together and tongues dueling, which only causes my balls to beg for gratification and my dick to swell.
When he presses his hand to my chest and starts working his way down my neck, I bite my bottom lip so hard I taste blood.
“Jesus,” he whispers, his hand trailing along my abs. “I don't know whether to be jealous of your body or be grateful for it right now.”
I lean back and rest my hands behind my head, giving him a wink. “I'm not opposed to either.”
“Cocky asshole,” he says, and then before I can stop him, he's opening my towel and sucking in a breath. “Even your dick is attractive. Pretty, even.”
The object in question jerks against my thigh, as if to say, 'thank you, thank you very much.'
His tongue drags across his bottom lip and he slowly starts to lower himself. I'm lost in the battle of mind and body. My body wants what he's doing but my mind is screaming—mayday, if you let him do this and he doesn't like it, it's game over.
“Whoa,” I tuck two fingers under his jaw and halt him. “Don't you think you should crawl before you walk?”
“Sucking your dick is walking?”
I give him a look. “What I mean is...don't you want to move slower? You know, make sure you really want this. Maybe try the porn thing first?”
“You were right before, I've never been one for porn.” He looks down at my cock. “I much prefer the real thing.”
Oh, hell. This guy's going to be the death of me.
He props himself up on his elbows, his face inches from my groin. “But I'll humor you. Where and how do you think I should start exploring you?”
My abs pull tight, because not only is Landon sexy as hell in bed...he apparently has a no holds barred attitude that both me and my cock find irresistible.
“Touch me,” I say, my voice gravelly with desire. “Wrap your hand around my dick.”
When he reaches out and gives my cock one long, languid stroke from root to tip...I almost come right then.
He swirls a drop of pre-come around the weeping head and I bunch the bed sheets in my fists, attempting to gather my composure.
Composure that goes right out the window when he switches out the hand on my dick for the other and brings his finger to his lips to taste me.
I thrust into his hand, desperately seeking more, and he winds his hand around my shaft. “How do you like to jerk yourself?”
I draw in a breath and release it in the form of a moan when he tightens his grip and pumps me harder.
“It doesn't matter,” I grit. “Because you're gonna make me come in the next minute anyway.” My body tenses and pressure tightens against my ribs. “You have no idea how much I want you.”
His face perks up. “Ever think about me doing this to you?”
I look down at him. “Only all the time. Especially when you put the tip of your pen in your mouth during study sessions. Fucking drives me crazy—”
My sentence falls and a groan rips from my mouth when he licks the tip of my dick. “Like that?”
I nod, and despite the arousal coursing through me full speed ahead, there's also apprehension. Because I can't help but be nervous that once he crosses this line, he won't want to again.
“Tell me how you want it,” he whispers, and for a split-second I see the worry in his own eyes.
I should tell him he doesn't have to do this...but the selfish part of me revels in gratitude when he licks my head again and sucks on it.
“All the way down. Until the tip hits your tonsils.” I hold his gaze. “Play my dick like I'm one of your instruments and make me come, Landon.”
I'm fully expecting him to protest, maybe stop altogether; but he doesn't. Instead his eyes turn hooded and he slides his mouth down my length as far as he can. He can't take all of me, but it doesn't matter because his warm mouth sliding up and down my shaft is fucking heaven. And what he lacks in experience, he makes up for with his eagerness.
He glides his mouth up and down my dick slowly, taking almost all of me into his mouth before pausing to pull back and swirl his tongue around my head. It's such a fucking turn on watching him not only doing this, but to see him explore my dick insatiably; like it's his own personal playground.
He looks up at me and places my hand on his head, just like I did to him last night. He's so eager to fucking please me, it kicks my desire up about ten notches.
I bite my lip and every muscle in my body clenches at once when I thrust into his mouth and I hear his deep groan mix with my own. My hands tangle in his hair, gripping the short strands for dear life as I pump my cock between his lips again. I let out a shiver when he gags and I watch saliva dribble out of his mouth, down his jaw, and onto my sac.
I'm so close to coming, both my cock and balls aching for release. “Landon, you might want to stop. I'm gonna come soon.”
Ever the fucking stubborn and persistent one, he doesn't. He speeds up his movements until his name is tearing out of my mouth and my entire body is tightening and contracting as I shoot down his throat. I watch his Adam’s apple bob, knowing he's swallowing it all and my dick spasms, causing another rope of come to jet out of me. He consumes that just as willingly.
I fall back against the headboard. “Fuck, Landon.”
He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, a hint of a sly smile on his face. “I take it I passed the porn test?”
Yeah, with flying fucking colors. “You're full of surprises.”
A cocky grin tugs at the corners of his mouth. The mouth that just gave me one hell of a blowjob. “You haven't seen anything yet.”
I lean forward. “Why does that sound like a challenge, nerd?”
His gaze drops to my lips. “Maybe it is, jock.”
I take his bottom lip between my teeth, then before he knows what hits him, I flip him so he's on his back. I hover above him. “Don't you know better than to challenge an athlete?”
He smirks. “Evidently not. Why don't you remind me?”
I reach inside the sweatpants he's wearing and give his cock a nice, long stroke before tugging them off and dropping to my knees by the side of the bed.
I ghost over his groin, purposely toying with him. “Tell me what you want, Landon.”
“Start by licking my balls like you did last night,” he says, his voice full of heat. “Felt fucking incredible.”
I lower my head and swirl my tongue over his balls, gently lapping at each one before I pull them into my mouth. He groans and I inhale the masculine scent coming off him.
I pull the sheet he's lying on so that he's slightly off the bed, making it easier for my next move. The move that will have him seeing stars and begging for mercy.
I work my way up and down his cock with my hand, loving the way it throbs under my touch. “What else do you want?”
I hold my breath, knowing what his next words will be and craving to hear them. “I want your mouth—”
Before he can finish that sentence, I dive in, licking and sucking that sensitive part of his flesh between his asshole and his balls.
“Holy—” He jumps and twists. My grip on his dick tightens and the strokes of my tongue get deeper.
“Please don't stop,” he pleads, nearly shredding the bed sheets that are balled up in his hands.
I continue lapping at his taint as he growls my name repeatedly, completely unhinged. He practically whimpers when I dip my head lower and lightly circle that puckered hole of his.
“Oh, fuck—” he starts to say but his words die on his lips when I push my finger in just a little, finding that perfect spot.
“Oh, God,” he says, his voice throaty and breathless. He writhes around on the bed and bucks his hips into my finger. “What are you doing to me?”
“It's your prostate. Feels good, huh?”
“If you stop, I will bash your fucking face in,” he rasps, before he clears his throat and says, “Seriously, please don't stop, Asher. I've never—it feels so fucking good. I'm so close to coming.”
I keep up with my movements, stroking his dick with one hand and his prostate with my other as I suck and lick at his taint. A moment later he shouts my name and his warm come lands all over my hand and his lower abs.
I leisurely clean him up with my mouth while he fights to catch his breath.
“Learn your lesson about challenging me?” I muse and he smiles.
“Yeah, and it's a lesson I want to learn over and over again.” He looks down at me. “Now get your ass up here so I can thank you properly.”
I slowly make my way up his body, planting soft kisses over his torso.
“You make me happy,” I murmur against his skin, my throat locking up because it's been so damn long since I could say that.
I lift my head to look at him, but freeze when I hear the sound of the front door opening.