Four
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Logan sat at his kitchen table, glancing through emails, sipping the strong coffee he’d made only a few minutes earlier. He hadn’t been awake for long, but he couldn’t lie in his bed alone any longer.
It had been two full days since he and Sam had spent the night at Luke’s house. They’d somehow managed to make it in to work the next day, but today, he’d opted to stay home. Unable to even come up with an excuse, he’d simply told Xavier where he could reach him if needed.
Since that night, Logan had felt a strange feeling deep in his chest, and he was positively certain he wasn’t having a heart attack. No, this wasn’t in any way related to his health, though it had everything to do with how he was feeling. All of the aches and longing were because of Sam.
He loved her, though the one word didn’t seem a deft enough description of his true feelings. Until that night, until he’d watched his wanton woman come apart in his arms in so many ways, he hadn’t realized the depth of his feelings. He had openly admitted his love for her, telling her repeatedly over the last two days, his pulse beating faster every time she offered the same declaration. Though she was telling him, Logan could feel her trying to pull away, and he needed to figure out what the hell to do about it.
For two days, she’d convinced him to give her some space, and she’d slept at her apartment while he spent the nights alone in his bed. Something was going to have to change, but for the life of him, Logan didn’t know what to do about it.
They had slept at Luke’s that night after Logan had carried her to one of his spare guest rooms. He had held her soft, sweet body against him through the night, and she’d slept so peacefully, he’d hated to wake her. After a few measly hours, knowing they had to go to work, Logan had had no choice.
Luke took them back to Logan’s, and after quick showers, Logan drove them into work. She’d spent the day going through the formal transition from XTX to CISS, while he had been buried in back to back meetings.
That evening, when he had stopped by her office to see if she was ready, Logan learned that she had already gotten a ride home. When he called to check on her, she’d told him she was too tired and was heading to bed. He figured she needed some time to think through all of the things they had done, all of the things she had seen, and all of the overwhelming feelings they’d all been exposed to.
Speaking of feelings… Logan made a mental note to call Luke because his brother had gone AWOL.
Not that Luke’s disappearing was uncommon, he liked to get away from the daily grind, and he didn’t generally check in with Logan, but when he didn’t answer his phone the few times Logan had tried in the last two days, he was sure something was going on. Which, if he did get a hold of him, Luke would likely tell him the same thing Sam did, he needed time to think.
Bullshit.
What they needed was to sit around and find a way to talk themselves out of what they felt. Tell themselves that what they did and what they felt didn’t mean a damn thing. That’s what they would be doing, and Logan wasn’t on board with that plan.
Lowering your inhibitions and having an open mind didn’t mean you couldn’t live your life like normal people. It only meant that you knew who you were and what you wanted.
Nothing wrong with that.
Slamming the laptop lid closed, Logan stormed out of the kitchen. He was beginning to get irritated, and the last thing he needed to do was take it out on some unsuspecting person. Instead, he chose to take a shower, try to clear his mind and figure out just what the hell he was supposed to do now.
~*~*~
Sam called Alex to let him know she would be taking the day off. She had something she had to do, and it could no longer wait. He was understanding and didn’t question her, which she appreciated. Not that it would have mattered if he had, Sam wasn’t sure she could have explained anything to her new employer anyway. To make sure she covered all of her bases, she also called Xavier to let him know she wouldn’t be in the office.
“Well, that’s very interesting.” Xavier stated, a hint of amusement in his voice.
Sam didn’t know whether she should question him or just let it be. In the end, her curiosity got the better of her. “What’s interesting?”
“Logan called in today, letting me know he would be working from home. Does that have anything to do with why you’re calling to let me know you won’t be here?”
Sam felt the heat creep up her neck, grateful that Xavier couldn’t see her reaction. “Actually, no.” Which was the truth. She hadn’t talked to Logan yet today, so she didn’t even know where he was. But, part of her agenda did include sitting down and talking to him.
“Right. Well, have a terrific day, Ms. Kielty.” Xavier laughed a deep, fulfilling laugh and the phone disconnected.
For about half a second, she wondered if she should rethink her plan and just head into the office. It was still early, just a few minutes after eight.
No. She had to do this. Now that she knew exactly where to find Logan, it made things easier anyway. Already dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, Sam grabbed her purse and keys and took off out the door. No reason to put off the inevitable.
On her way to Logan’s, her mind exploded with the same things she’d spent two days thinking about. Some of them involved Luke and Cole; some involved only her feelings about the situation. Which was why she needed to talk to Logan.
For two days she had managed to avoid him for the most part, and in turn, Sam had come to terms with everything she’d been worried about for too long. After the happy hour and Logan’s brief speech, Sam knew in her heart of hearts, exactly how she felt about him. The fact that she shared a bed with him, and his brother from time to time didn’t change that.
Sure, she was still in awe of her own reactions. She’d never considered herself a sexual person, but the heat they managed to draw out of her was potent. Undeniable.
Pulling into the driveway at Logan’s, she left her purse but grabbed the keys from the ignition. Since she couldn’t see his vehicles in the closed garages, she wasn’t sure if he was even home, but she was going to try. After ringing the doorbell twice and not getting an answer, her hope faded. Then she remembered she had a spare key that he had given her, his way of telling her that he wanted more, according to him.
After turning the key in the lock, she pushed the door open, but didn’t hear a sound. Apparently he wasn’t home, and since she’d run out of her apartment without grabbing her cell phone, she had no way of calling him, unless she used his phone.
Making her way to the kitchen, she saw his laptop was on the counter, but he was nowhere in sight. A quick glance at the bar told her the handset to his cordless phone was missing, so she headed for his bedroom where he generally kept it.
Once she stepped into his room, she heard the unmistakable sound of his shower. Sneaking toward the bathroom, she could clearly see his form through the reflection in the mirror. What she saw took her breath away.
Logan was standing in the shower, his hands braced against the wall, his head hanging between his arms and the water sluicing over his naked form. The man was a masterpiece, hard muscle and sinew making up his powerful form, but the way he stood, he looked vulnerable.
Instead of announcing her presence like she probably should have, wanting to have this conversation on neutral ground, rather than in the one place that she still had memories of. Those memories scorched her, making her want things.
No, instead of doing the safe, logical thing, Sam disrobed quickly and silently walked in. Since there were no doors, there was nothing to announce her presence, so she slowly walked up behind him, and placed her hands on his back. He didn’t jump as she expected, but his sharp intake of breath told her that he knew who was there, and he didn’t have a problem with her being there.
Unable to say a word, her heart in her throat, Sam placed her mouth along the hard column of his spine, kissing lightly as water poured over them both. He was so beautiful, so intensely masculine, so incredibly sexy he stole her breath. She wondered if she would ever tire of looking at him.
“Samantha.” The word was said so quietly, Sam wondered if she had imagined it.
But when he turned, pulling her against him in the most tender embrace she had ever known, she knew she hadn’t. The swirl of emotions in his eyes took her breath, there was the expected passion, but there was something more. Something she had known for a while, the same thing she felt bubbling through her veins.
“God, baby, I missed you.” Logan pressed his mouth to hers, his kiss the most remarkable thing she had ever felt. The way he cupped her face, stared into her eyes and pressed his lips to hers, Sam was overwhelmed with feeling. This time, it wasn’t only need; it was something so much more than that.
Having thought she had known love before, Sam realized she had been totally oblivious. She had never known a love like this. Never felt this all-consuming need to be with someone, to hold him, to make love to him, and to spend every waking moment with him. Until Logan.
He had given that to her.
He had the courage to show her what she wanted, to let her explore desires she hadn’t known existed. And above all else, he had stood by her to make sure she came out of it in one piece.
As he backed her against the wall, Sam stared deep into his eyes, trying to read his expression, trying to understand what he was feeling, and trying to infuse him with the overwhelming love she felt for him.
He didn’t break the eye contact, and he didn’t kiss her. He lifted her up, pressing her back against the wall as he held her tight, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, her arms around his neck.
“I need to love you, Sam.” Logan’s voice sounded tortured, needy. “Let me love you.”
He broke her heart with his words, and she wanted him to love her. More than with just his body. But, for now, she would take this.
Logan shifted, sliding inside of her, taking his time, pressing deep. Sam’s breath caught in her throat, her body adjusting to his size, his hard length, the invariable strength and power she felt emanating from him.
Oh how she loved this man. Sam could stand to feel his arms wrapped around her every morning, his sweet kiss every night.
When his eyes averted her for the first time, Sam cupped his jaw with her hands, lifting his head to look at her. As he held her against the wall, they came nearly eye to eye, his body buried deep inside her while he stroked her slowly, gently even, bringing her to a fever pitch. But not only was the feel of him as he stroked nerve endings inside of her sending her higher, the love she felt for him nearly overwhelmed her, almost an out of body experience.
“I love you.” Sam whispered as the water poured down over them, the soft, black hair on his chest abraded her sensitive nipples. He pulled back, thrust harder. “Only you.” She was moaning now, barely able to speak as he began a sensual onslaught, his hips thrusting harder, but still maintaining the slow pace. “Always you.”
His penetrating gaze turned darker, the brown, tinged with green turning the color of storm clouds, seeing right through to the core of her. “Tell me you love me, Logan.” Sam whispered, still cupping his jaw, keeping them grounded in the moment as he plunged deeper inside of her body, sending her to new heights.
“Only you, baby. I love you.” He ground out, his body hardening even more than before, a sure sign of his impending release.
“Forever, Logan. Love me forever.” Sam was drawing the words from him, but he was giving them freely and her heart soared as her body clenched tighter, her muscles tensing to help hold her body up, trying to send him deeper.
“I will love you until my dying day, Sam.” His strangled words, said with such heart felt emotion sent her plunging into the abyss, her body shattered, milking him, pulling him closer.
And as Logan groaned, his release filling her, his eyes penetrating deep into her soul, Sam knew she would belong to this man forever.
~*~*~
Logan lay in his bed, Sam wrapped in his arms, her body gloriously naked against his, and nothing, not another man, not a single worry came between them in that moment.
When she had shown up in his shower, he’d been overwhelmed with his need for her, exceeding far more than sexual desire. His need to hold her, to touch her, to love her. And she had come to him. She had sought him out, shown him what her love meant, given herself over to him in that moment, and he knew without a doubt, he would make Sam his for eternity.
Now as they lay in his bed, their bodies sated from their love making, he had no desire to let her go. To hold her was more than he felt he deserved, but nothing less than he would take from her. His throat was clogged with emotion, so much that he could barely breathe, barely think for the intensity of what he felt for this one woman.
“Marry me.” He said the words before he knew they were coming. He’d been thinking them for the last forty eight hours, wanting nothing more than to give her wine and roses, fall to his knees and beg her to stay with him forever.
Now that he said them, he realized the setting wasn’t what he had envisioned, but he meant them just the same. As he held his breath, he waited for her reaction, half expecting her to tense in his arms, to be taken aback by his horrible timing.
What he got was just the opposite.
“Yes.” She didn’t move from his arms, didn’t try to turn and look at him; instead she spoke the word in the silence of the room, her lips pressing against his hand, those sweet, warm lips.
“Now.” He pushed her farther, wanting her to realize he was serious.
“Assuming you don’t mean right here in this bed, but yes, I will marry you, Logan. Anytime. Anywhere.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Sam. I’ll do anything to keep you in my world, anything to make you happy.” And he meant the words from the depth of his soul. Unsure why he felt the need to express the lengths he was willing to go for her, he couldn’t hold them back.
Then she turned in his arms, placing her cool fingers on his face as she looked at him, the vivid, iridescent green of her eyes glassy from unshed tears and the world slowed, his heart pounded painfully in his chest as he waited for her demands.
“Remember the conditions I made when we first started this?” She asked him, her voice trembling.
“I remember.”
Her head rested in the crook of his arm, her silky blond hair, the golden highlights contrasting brilliantly against his white sheets, her smooth, creamy skin flush from their earlier lovemaking.
“I left one off.”
Logan’s heart leapt into his throat. He knew this was coming, had been expecting it since her abrupt need to put a little distance between them. Though he’d tried to show her all of the ways in which he wanted to love her, to pleasure her, to make her love him.
“I want everything you have to give me, Logan. Everything.” Sam told him now, and he waited, trying to understand what she meant, but confusion was closing in around him.
She wanted everything, and he wanted to give her everything. Even if it meant changing who he was. He would do it for this one woman who had wiggled her way into his heart so quickly, so deeply.
“I don’t want you to change who you are, and I want to be who I am. I want to stand beside my conviction, to love you, be loved by you. Even when doubts plague my mind, I want you to know that I will always trust you, always believe that you will take care of me.”
That was what he wanted too. But had he heard her correctly? Was she saying that she accepted him for who he was?
“Even Luke?”
“Yes. Even Luke. What you’ve shown me defies imagination, but it’s been pleasure unlike any I have ever known. And though I know you will share my body with Luke, I need to know that you will never share my love.”
“Never.” Logan growled then, a flood of possessiveness overcoming him. He moved atop her quickly, pressing his body into hers, needing to feel her beneath him. “Mine, Sam. You will always be mine. Only mine.”
Sam looked up into his eyes, a small smile tilting her lips, a tear glistening down into her hair and Logan nearly lost his mind.
“That’s my condition, Logan.”
“And mine is that you never stop loving me, Sam.” He pressed a kiss to her lips, soft, gentle, holding back the sudden urge to bury himself inside of her.
All morning he’d been moving around his empty house like a caged animal, the fear boiling in his chest, making him vulnerable. He’d finally come to the conclusion that he had to convince her that no matter what it took, he would make her his. He would change. For her. The thoughts had plagued him, but nothing compared to the way his heart had feared she would be unable to accept what he wanted from her.
“Never.” She said, the word choked out, a sob tearing from her chest as he slid inside of her again, her body sheathing him with her heat. “I will never stop loving you.”
He’d never tire of this.