I find her running after Mel and Duncan’s two-year-old son in the back lawn of the couple’s mansion beside the lake.

I was furious when Vlad called me earlier and informed me that he was driving Anya downtown. I knew by the tone of Vlad’s voice that he couldn’t stop her short of hurting her. I wanted to order Vlad to take her back home but stopped myself. I knew it would really piss Anya off.

I just wanted her to stay put until the whole thing is over so I won’t have to worry about her safety, getting ambushed by the paparazzi and all that shit. But I also knew she must be feeling bored shitless in the villa.

I was very busy all day. My adrenaline is still high from all the shit I did with Callum today. The bloodlust is still crackling in my veins. But I can breathe easily now.

Theo is dead. His bosses are all going down. The combined forces of the FBI and the DEA are all over the motherfuckers. I’ve dealt with the Templetons.

I did my part. The rest is in the hands of the law now. I can finally focus on my family.

Anya went downtown to buy cake and pastries from her favorite bakeshop. I was relieved when she directed Vlad to take her to Mel and Duncan’s place in Toluca Lake. I knew she’d be safe and private with my friends.

Duncan called me to join them. As soon as I was finished with my meeting with the people from Homeland Security and the FBI, who connected me with the POTUS for a short talk, I followed my baby.

I stop to watch her with the little boy.

Anya catches Sailor and picks him up from the ground, twirling as the baby screams in glee.

I imagine her with our own child squealing in her arms.

My chest and my groin clench for different reasons. Both feel good.

“Dave!” Mel waves at me, beckoning to join them.

I cross the well-manicured lawn. Duncan is manning the grill and my stomach growls when I smell the aroma of meat being grilled.

“About time you got here!” Duncan shouts over the smoke.

I kiss Mel’s cheek. I give her the bottle of vintage wine I brought with me.

“Perfect for the ribs,” she beams.

I glance at Anya again.

“I wonder if our invite got lost in the mail,” Mel deadpans.

I look at her sheepishly. “Long story.”

She gives me a face. “Never mind. I’m pretty sure we’ll get the christening invite when the time comes.”

I grin. “Of course.”

Mel pats my shoulder. “Go to her.”

I smile. I can feel her understanding. I was dreading this, facing my friends after the scandal, but my fears were unfounded. No judgment from my friends.

I walk over to Anya.

She puts Sailor down. The toddler waddles toward me babbling gibberish words. He wraps his little arms around my leg. Chuckling, I pick him up. “Hello, little man.” I kiss his chubby cheek.

Sailor squeaks and proceeds to investigate my tie.

I meet Anya’s eyes. Neither of us say a word.

Everything in me craves to hold her. I miss her so damn much I’ve felt darkness descending on me as I worked with Callum. I needed to deal with the people threatening my family fast or I’d never sleep a wink at night worrying. And this thing with Anya has been killing me slowly. She’s been avoiding me at all costs, shutting herself inside her studio with an emphatic do-not-disturb demeanor.

Her words still haunt me and I can’t get over it.

“I can’t respect a partner who treats me like a damn sex doll. No voice, just a body he can use as he pleases. I can’t live like that, even if I’m so in love with you.”

Man, her words got to me worse than those nasty shit the rags have called me when the scandal broke. The fact that she felt like that really affected me. I love her so much and I want to take her every chance I get, but I don’t ever want her to think I don’t value her as a woman, as a person. Far from that.

But then again, maybe old habits die hard. I was so fucked up in the head back then. Still is apparently. I don’t have any experience of a healthy relationship with a woman, except with Anya, but only as her guardian. As her man, I’m as clueless as a schoolboy. But God, I want to change. I want to be the best partner for my Anya. Even if it means not touching her until I’ve proven myself worthy of her.

I sigh deeply.

“It seems you have so much you want to tell me. I’m free after dinner.”

I swallow. Did I hear that right? I was bracing for her ice-cold saber tongue to cut me to the quick.

Then she walks over to Mel at the table. I watch them get busy preparing our dinner.

I hug Sailor tighter, kissing his hair and inhaling his baby scent.

That was an invitation, right?

My stomach flips.

Christ, Knight, don’t fuck it up again.

A NYA

I ’m grateful for Mel and Duncan for inviting me to have dinner with them when I called Mel this afternoon and told her I’d like to drop by their house. The couple were the safest I could go to without incurring the wrath of Dave. I wanted to remove us from the toxic environment of our house and place us in a neutral place.

“How’s your new collection coming up?” Mel asks me over dinner. Duncan is the master of the grill. His marinated ribs sure got me off of my woes.

“Done, actually.” I had nothing else to do the past days but obsess on my designs or I’d go mad thinking about Dave.

“Really? I want the whole collection!”

“Leather and lace. Another baby coming up,” Duncan says with a chuckle.

Mel elbows her husband’s side teasingly. “Only if you promise to babysit.”

“I’ll set up a nursery at the office.”

“Really now. Giving up your putting green in your office?”

“If you promise to help me hit a hole-in-one.” Duncan winks at his wife.

Mel bursts out laughing, smacking her husband’s shoulder playfully.

Their naughty exchange makes me want to sigh wistfully.

Duncan turns to Dave. “What about you, man? When you gonna hit a hole-in-one?”

Dave coughs and drinks from his glass of water.

“Honey, they just got married, don’t pressure them,” Mel says, giving us an impish look.

Dave smiles at me.

The look in his eyes is so familiar and yet different. He used to look at me like that, like he’s really happy and content just looking at me, and yet there’s a new glint now. An awareness.

My body knows what it is. My core clenches in longing.

Nan was right. When it comes down to it, I’d choose Dave with all his flaws and problems hands down. Over anyone and anything in this world.

So, I’m going to deal with my man like a big girl.

D ave asks me to take a walk with him toward the deck beside the lake. Mel and Duncan’s villa is beautiful, situated in a small exclusive neighborhood surrounding Toluca lake.

He holds my elbow and assists me down the steps. I don’t recoil from his touch anymore. He’s treating me like I’m the most delicate porcelain. It seems like he’s back to his guardian ways. The perfect gentleman.

I fiercely demanded respect from him, but if I’d be honest with myself, I hate his behavior now.

I want him to be tyrannical again. I want his dominance. I crave his possessiveness, the naked desire in his eyes when he looks at me.

God, I’m one confused twit.

We take in the beauty of the lake at night. It’s so serene with the soft light coming from the lamps around the lake reflecting in the still water.

“Wanna take a ride?”

“Huh?” I glance at Dave.

He gestures to the boat anchored in the small dock. It’s more like a gondola, with a low roof.

I smile. “Yes.”

We go down the steps to the edge of the dock. Dave helps me into the little boat.

I watch as he frees the boat from the rope anchoring it to the dock. He sits opposite me and starts rowing.

His shoulders bunch under his suit as his arms move, controlling the boat pretty much like he controls everything, with absolute power and authority.

I want to feel that power again. I want to be able to hold it and not be afraid of drowning in it and losing myself.

We just stare at each other in silence, enjoying the peace and tranquility of this moment. We’re the only ones boating tonight.

He stops rowing. We’re in the middle of the lake.

“I remember…” he starts and pauses, then sighs.

I peer at him. “Yes?”

“I remember when you came running toward me in the cemetery.”

I smile encouragingly. “I have a very good recollection of that day.”

He swallows. “I thought you were a ghost.”

“Really?”

He nods. “But then you turned out to be an angel.”

My heart flips. He has this look in his eyes. So open…and vulnerable.

He takes a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, angel.”

Oh Lord. Am I hearing this right?

“I’m so sorry for what I did in New York. You were right. It was wrong. So wrong to force you into marriage.”

He takes a deep breath again as though nervous. Dave nervous? Nah. He’s the man of steel.

“But I was so afraid, Anya. The scandal shook me to the core. I lost it. I just wanted it to go away. I wanted to stop the lewd speculations. The words they were calling you, me, us…they got to me so bad…” He shakes his head, his voice trailing of.

I don’t dare interrupt him. I know he’s not finished.

“But I should have asked you. I should have asked you on bended knee if you wanted me as your husband. But I took the choice right out of your hands in my desperation, telling you some lame shit to justify my actions. I was an asshole. Confused, afraid, with the best of intentions, but an asshole nonetheless.”

My tears well up.

His eyes have gone moist too, and they glitter with emotion in the dim light.

“You see, baby…before you…all my relationships were toxic. But it was all my fault. I was messed up. Deeply. I badly hurt the women who truly loved me. I thought I was irredeemable. A worthless piece of shit. I knew I was going down the rabbit hole with no way out. But then you came, my angel, and I started thinking I was worth something again. You changed me. You gave me purpose. You made me want to be a better man.”

I can’t help but say something at this point. I can’t let him think so less of himself. “You were, Dave. You were the best. I’m so grateful for everything you did for me.”

He smiles wanly. “I’d like to think I was. But when we..when we made love, I kind of lost my footing again and I was floundering. I was not good at relationships, and I guess old habits are hard to break. The scandal brought back my old demons and I fucked up again. I wanted to do the right thing but ended up doing the worst thing. I was so clueless, Anya. I had no training in being a good partner.”

“Oh, Dave.”

His tears fall. “Can you ever forgive me, angel? Please, forgive me.”

I jump into his arms and hug him tight.

He makes an anguished sound and hugs me back.

I sigh, smiling in his shoulder, inhaling his scent. God, I’ve missed him so much.

He pulls away and frames my face in his hands.

“I want to change, baby. I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes I did in the past. I want to be the man who deserves you. But I need help. Will you please help me, baby?”

I nod repeatedly, my tears falling. “I’m here. I’ll always be here for you.”

“Will you promise not to give up on me when I mess up at times? You can kick my ass.”

I smile. “Yes, I’ll kiss your ass if you behave badly. And you can spank mine too, if I behave badly.”

He makes a choking laugh, his eyes igniting with fire amid his tears. “You’re making me horny, baby, and here I am pouring my heart out.”

I laugh in overflowing happiness. All my heartaches are wiped out by the look in his eyes. I’ve never seen Dave cry. This is for the books. Our book. I’m marking this moment as a very important chapter in our lives.

I cherish his tears. They tell me everything he feels.

“I love you, Anya. I love you more than my own life.”

And that is all that matters to me.

Our love.