CHAPTER SEVEN
Soft, but rapid knocking on the motorhome’s door pulled Austin awake. He pushed back his blankets, then picked up his cell phone before he stumbled to the door.
The face of the phone told him it was two a.m. Way too late for anyone to come visiting unless it was an emergency. But no one had tried calling. His heart drummed in his chest as he pushed the door open.
Alaina stood in the gravel, hand on one hip, beer bottle in the opposite hand. “About time,” she hissed.
“The hell are you doing here?” He wiped sleep from his eyes. “It’s after midnight.”
“So? Is your girlfriend here?” She tried to look past him, but the motorhome interior was dark.
“If you mean Natalie, then no. She’s at her motel. If you’re talking about someone else, you have the wrong person.”
“You’re so funny, Austin.” She braced one arm on the motorhome side. “Look, I don’t like that woman hanging around my daughter. So you’d better get rid of her.”
“You don’t get a say.” They’d been down this road before. It was one of the reasons he didn’t date. Alaina had a jealous streak as wide as the Arkansas River. He’d fought with her about women on more than one occasion. “You’re drunk.”
“So?” Defensive, she took a long pull from the bottle. “That’s neither here nor there. Get. Rid. Of. That. Woman.”
“Why? She’s been nothing but nice to Casey.” Unlike you.
“I don’t like her.”
“Why?”
Alaina pulled her lips back in a snarl. “Because I think you know which one of us holds the leverage here. You have my daughter, but that can change really quick with one phone call to my lawyer.”
“Your mother’s lawyer.” He pressed his lips together. “You don’t do anything without her help. I know that well enough.”
“It doesn’t matter whose lawyer he is, that’s my kid.”
“By blood alone. Who raised her? She doesn’t even know you. What little she does know is that you’re not a nice person.”
Alaina drew back like she’d been slapped. “That’s not true!”
“If you were, you wouldn’t be here right now.”
“Austin…” Her whiney voice cut like a knife. “Stop talking about me like that. I’m a good person or I wouldn’t be where I am today.”
“You conned a bunch of people into thinking you’re a nice person. That’s it. Once your reign as Miss Rodeo USA is over, then what?” She certainly wasn’t going to come crawling back to him.
“Don’t say things like that.” She hugged herself. “People love me. I’m going to keep promoting our state and rodeo and making appearances. I’m not a nobody like that woman you’re sleeping with.”
“She’s well-known in the WPRA. She’s not a nobody. Natalie is doing as much good promoting rodeo as you. I’d say she’s a great example of a woman for Casey to hang out with.”
Alaina scoffed. “You only think so because you don’t know her as well as you know me. Who’s to say she didn’t give up a baby to do what she’s doing?”
“You didn’t exactly just give Casey up. You completely walked away. Without even telling me. One day you were there and the next your mom was on my doorstep with Casey in her arms. You abandoned her.” He gritted his teeth. “Like I was supposed to know what to do with her? After every lie you told.”
Alaina’s gaze flickered away for a moment. “Trust me, better you than someone else.”
“Oh, believe me, I’m glad she ended up with me. I can just imagine where she’d be if you’d dropped her off--” He bit his tongue. “Look, you’re twenty-three, Alaina. Grow up sometime. You don’t have to be Casey’s mother, but would it kill you to treat her with some kindness once in a while?”
“I don’t know how to take care of a kid. If I tried, I’d mess it up.” She laughed, but it came out more of a pathetic sob, followed by another pull off the bottle. “Out of all the things I’m good at, taking care of children is not one of them.”
“Doesn’t mean that you have to be cruel. She’s terrified of you. To be honest, she doesn’t even like your parents that much. It’s better when you stay away.” He didn’t say it out of meanness, but he didn’t care if the truth hurt her either.
“Gosh, why don’t you just rub some salt into my wounds.” She hugged herself again. “Look, I know, I’m no good for the kid. But I don’t like the way that woman looks or acts. She’s such a goody-goody. She’ll break your heart. Take my advice, get rid of her as quick as you can.”
He crossed his arms. The truth was, he didn’t even care about her opinion anymore. “I don’t need your advice. I haven’t needed it in a long time.”
“You’re just mean. You know that?” She frowned. “Nobody is making you say these things.”
“They’ve needed saying for a long time. You broke my heart, over and over. And the stupid thing is, I let you do it. Worse, I let you do it to Casey. The only reason you don’t want me to spend time with Natalie is because you’re jealous.”
“Am not!” She sounded like an unreasonable child. “That’s not it at all.”
“Then what? You don’t want me to have an adult relationship? You can’t stand knowing that I might not pine after you for the rest of my life.”
“Stick it up your butt. I don’t have to take this.” She stomped her boot against the gravel. “Go to hell, Austin.”
“I’ve already been. It was months and months of trying to make something work with you.” And many more months of being alone and wondering why it wouldn’t work.
“Yeah, well, did you tell her the truth about Casey? Maybe she won’t be so friendly toward you if she knows.” Years of anger poured from Alaina’s voice. “I mean, what woman wants to raise some kid that doesn’t even--”
“Shut up.” He clenched his fists. “Not another word.”
She arched a brow. “It’s the truth.”
“That’s your fault, not mine. I’m just the idiot you pawned a child off on. But you know what? The only regret I have about letting you do it is that I let you lead me on for so long. I wish I had had the strength--and the cash--to put you behind me forever the day you walked away from Casey.”
A nasty smile curled Alaina’s lips. “There’s no help for that now.” She waggled her fingers at him. “We’ll always have Swells. And every rodeo town across the country. And we’ll always have Casey as a reminder of the good times.”
“You might have given birth to her, but you never had her.”
“You’ve never really had her either, honey. Just can’t quite swing those lawyer fees, can you?”
“Go to hell.”
“Better be nice to me or I’ll tell my mom.”
A swell of fear rose in his chest. “She doesn’t want Casey any more than you do or she’d have taken her from the start.”
She shrugged. “We could find out.”
“Stop being a child. I swear your daughter is more mature than you are.” He backed up. “We’ve been down this road before. Plenty of times. Let it go. Go back to your trailer and sober up.”
“One little pull of the thread and I could yank your whole world out from under you.” Her grin turned to a sneer. She jabbed her finger at him. “Just you remember that.”
His heart thundered. “You wouldn’t dare because it would disrupt your world too.”
She chucked the beer bottle at him.
Austin ducked, then flinched as it shattered against the side of his motorhome. “Get out of here!”
She spun and stumbled away.
Breathing hard, he gripped the doorframe for support.
“Daddy?” Casey’s whisper came through the dark. “What was that?”
“Nothing, Princess. Go back to bed. We’re okay.” His voice shook. Hopefully she didn’t hear it.
“Okay. ‘Night. I love you.”
He closed his eyes as the ache in his heart grew. “Love you more.”
* * * *
For the fifth time, Alain’s mother’s voicemail picked up. Austin squeezed his cell in his hand, but it did nothing to abate his frustration. It wasn’t the phone’s fault his ex-girlfriend’s mother was no more useful than her. Her father wasn’t answering either.
Nevertheless, their continued refusal to acknowledge his attempts to call pissed him off. He’d been a bear all morning and nothing helped.
Casey brushed Tiny’s coat, and occasionally cast concerned glances his way, but she didn’t try to talk to him. Probably his swearing fit when he’d cut himself shaving gave her a pretty good idea that he was in no mood for nonsense this morning.
He tried, God help him, not to snap at her, to keep his temper, because absolutely none of Alaina’s bullshit was Casey’s fault. She hadn’t asked to be born. He’d done his best her whole life to protect her. Right now, he needed time to think. Time to get his case in order so that if one of Alaina’s parents did call him back, he wouldn’t tear either of their heads off. He needed them to cooperate.
The gravel crunched and he looked up to meet Natalie’s gaze.
She smiled, but it fell away quickly and her brow furrowed. “You look sick. Is there something I can do--”
“I’m fine.” He rose from his lawn chair. “I’m waiting on a phone call. It’s important.”
She hadn’t done a thing to earn his wrath. Immediately, he regretted being so short with her. She continued to frown, but didn’t seem too put off by his temper.
“I’m sorry. It’s a call to Alaina’s parents. I really need to talk to them, but they’re ignoring me, I think.” He swept his hand through his hair, then glanced at the phone screen. Nolan would be arriving soon to practice roping again. Austin’s nerves were so tight, he didn’t know how he’d throw a rope.
“What’s wrong?” She lowered her voice, cast a glance at Casey, then reached for his hand. “I’d really like to help, if I can.”
“You can’t. No one can.” A dull throb formed between his eyes. Why didn’t the phone ring?
“I’m sorry you’re having difficulties today.”
“I don’t know why you care. This is just a fling.” He turned away from her. “We’ll be going our separate ways soon.”
“We already talked about matching up our schedules. I’d love to try.”
“Whatever.”
“You don’t have to be so callous about it.”
“You don’t have to be so optimistic. Stuff happens. You meet people on the circuit and sometimes you never see them again. Big deal.” He faced her again. “I’ve got to listen for this phone to ring. I’m busy.”
“Fine. Is it okay if I say hello to Casey?”
Her future is on the line here. “Fine. Make it quick. I’m expecting Nolan soon.”
Natalie hesitated. “I thought we could do like we’ve been doing. I could sit with her while we watch you rope. You don’t want me to watch her today?”
His phone beeped with a text message. “She’ll be fine.”
“Okay. I’ll get going then. Sorry you’re having a bad day.” She held up her hands, then walked toward the round pen where Tiny and Casey watched.
The text was from Nolan, saying he’d gotten a flat and was running late. Absolutely perfect.
He switched the screen back to the contacts and paused with his finger over Jen Rey’s number. Call her again? Maybe this time she would answer…
Casey hugged Natalie. The two exchanged some words and Casey nodded.
“Okay, see you later.” Natalie waved and headed back toward Austin.
She stopped in front of him. “Whatever’s going on, I hope you work it out. Casey’s worried. If you decide to get your head out of your butt, give me a call. I’ll be around. If not, well, it was nice knowing you, Austin.”
There were tears in her eyes.
“Believe me, if you knew what was really going on between me and Alaina, you’d get in your truck and run as fast as you could. Nobody sane would get mixed up in this.”
She tucked her hands into her pockets. “I think you’d be surprised what people might do when they care about someone. Too bad Alaina ruined the part of you that remembers that.”
“Whatever.” He rolled his eyes. Never mind that he was being as juvenile as Alaina had. “I realized this morning that I can’t mix someone else into this tangle that’s my life. I have to look out for Casey. I’m the only one who is. Getting involved with someone else is just asking for trouble.”
Natalie licked her lips. “I’m not saying I don’t have my own problems, but everything can be overcome. I would’ve put a lot of effort into helping you and Casey through yours. I would’ve loved to have been part of your dynamic. But this is what you want, and I knew from the start you weren’t going to give me a whole lot. That’s my own fault for thinking there could be more. You’re broken. I hope someday you’re not.” She drew in a breath. “See you around, Austin.”
She left, the gravel crunching under her boots, her stride sure, even if the rest of her wasn’t.
Austin blinked. Did I stupidly let go of something I should have protected a lot harder?
His brain said no. His heart said yes.