CHAPTER NINE
Austin paced as he waited for Natalie’s truck to appear. Thanks to his broken arm, they were leaving Tulsa today. No reason to stay for the last night of the rodeo. It would be weeks before he could get at it again. The thought gave him a pang. It might mean no National Finals in November.
Nolan followed Austin with his eyes, seemingly irritated at the non-stop motion. He sighed and slouched deeper into his lawn chair. “Why are you so nervous?”
“I almost messed things up between us. I almost let Natalie go.” He made another trip in front of the motorhome. “Because I was mad at Alaina. Natalie isn’t like her.”
“She forgave you. Sort of.”
“It’s the ‘sort of’ I’m worried about. She doesn’t know the whole story between me and Alaina. I already told her, only a nut job would want in on this. What if she decides that’s the straw that’ll break her back?”
“Then she’s not as good of a person as we both think she is. Look, she likes you. She likes Casey. She’s not going to freak out because of this.” Nolan crossed his ankles. “Stop pacing. You’re making me dizzy. You’re supposed to take it easy.”
The truck appeared and his heart jumped up. “Crap. You’re taking Casey for a walk while I explain all this to Natalie, right?”
Nolan sighed again. “I’m on it, boss.”
Casey shut the truck door and raced for Austin. She threw her arms around him. “You’re okay!”
“Except for this clunky cast.” He held out his arm, encased from the elbow to his first knuckles. “What a pain.”
“I missed you.” She buried her face in his side.
“I missed you too, Princess.” It felt good to hug her. It would kill him to lose her. All the more reason the phone call from Jen Rey this morning left him jittery, but reassured.
Natalie walked over, her pace slow, a little uncertain. “Hi, guys.”
“Mornin’.” Nolan tipped his hat at her. “How was the kid?”
“Good as gold. I knew she would be. How’s the patient?”
“A pain in the ass. I knew he would be.” Nolan grinned. “Case, I got to talk to someone about a horse. You should come see him.”
“I want to stay with Daddy.” She hugged Austin tighter.
“Aww, c’mon. He’s supposed to be kid broke and I want to test him out with an actual kid. He’s a paint. Real pretty markings. I need your professional opinion.”
Casey cracked a smile. “Can I?”
“Sure. Be careful, okay?” Austin stroked her hair. “We’ll be here when you get back.”
Neither he nor Natalie said a word until Nolan and Casey were out of earshot.
“You sent me a text last night. Said you wanted to talk?” She fiddled with her phone. “Do you remember that?”
“Yeah. I’m not that out of my head. I hope Casey wasn’t too much trouble.”
“She wasn’t any trouble. I adore her. So…”
He cleared his throat. “I love her to death. I’d do anything for her. But there’s something you’ve got to know.”
He could count the number of people who knew his secret on one hand. In the last six years, he’d never told another soul.
“Okay.”
“Casey’s...she’s not mine.
“Not yours?”
He shook his head. “We’re not blood related. I was dating Alaina at the time she was conceived, but we’ve had the bloodwork done. She’s someone else’s daughter.”
Natalie’s jaw dropped. “What? How? Why is she living with you? Calling you daddy?”
He sank into one of the lawn chairs. “We were just kids from a little dusty Oklahoma town. I was so in love with Alaina.” Though he couldn’t remember why. Because of her beauty or she’d put out. Who knew? “She came to me one evening, crying. I thought she’d had a fight with her parents, so I comforted her. Then she told me she was pregnant. The very first thing that hit me was that I was thrilled. God, I was seventeen. So stupid. I thought we’d get married and start our family. She was distraught because if she had to move Heaven and earth, she was going to be Miss Rodeo USA. But she couldn’t do it with a kid hanging onto her.”
Natalie blew out a breath. “She didn’t even admit she’d been sleeping with someone else?”
“Nope. She led me along, told me we’d get married when the baby was born. When she got her figure back. She wouldn’t move in with me. Nothing. She never even brought up another man. Not until about a couple of months after Casey was born. I didn’t believe her. I couldn’t imagine why she’d lie to me except to make me angry. My mom was the one who insisted we do the blood test. But Alaina told her parents that I was the father. She never mentioned her other boyfriend’s name. When Alaina ran away to stay with a friend about a few weeks later, she left Casey with her folks. And her mother, Jen, brought Casey to me because she thought Casey should at least be with her father.”
He looked down at his hands. “She fit just right. How was I supposed to turn her away? Tell Jen that the helpless little baby who had no say in her fate, wasn’t mine? My name was on her birth certificate. Legally, she was my responsibility. At least, I felt like she was, because I loved her from the first moment I knew about her.”
He pushed out a breath. “Nolan and my parents had fits. I told them they could like it or we’d leave. Surprisingly, they went along with it. I caught up with Alaina when she finally came back home and told her that we needed to go to court. That she needed to give up her rights to Casey, because on some off chance that she decided she wanted to yank Casey in and out of my life, I needed to put a stop to that before it became a problem.”
“But it was always a problem.” Natalie raised her brows and shook her head. “You still loved Alaina.”
“I did. Idiot.”
“So you just let the Reys believe you were her dad.”
“Yeah. I guess Alaina did too, although when I’ve pissed her off, she’s threatened to tell them the truth. To take her away from me totally. I don’t think she has the guts to ask her parents to raise her child. It’s more convenient to let me do it.”
“Does this have something to do with the way you were acting yesterday?” She came closer. “When you were trying to get ahold of her parents?”
“Yeah. I’ve wanted, all this time, to legally adopt Casey. Instead of living in fear that someday some asshole might come forward and claim her as his daughter. I don’t have the money, but if the Reys would pay for it, I promised I’d never bother them for another dime. That I’d leave them alone for good.” He lowered his head. “I’m not proud of begging.”
“But why? I mean, why’d you say that stuff to me?”
“Alaina had come to see me in the middle of the night. Being her usual whiny, annoying self. She threw a beer bottle at me because I ticked her off. I’d had it with her crap and that’s what made me call her parents. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. No matter that I was terrified I’d miss their call. It was wrong of me. I don’t expect you to forgive me. I did warn you that my life is a mess.” He forced himself to hold her gaze. He deserved whatever scorn she had for him.
Nothing but sympathy reflected in Natalie’s eyes. “I’m sorry you’ve been through this. It’s remarkable that you love Casey so much. Most men would have run away in a panic when their girlfriend told them she was pregnant. At seventeen, she probably thought you would. She must have been so surprised at you. I’m surprised and amazed and it just reinforced how wonderful I think you are.”
“I’m not wonderful. I’m barely holding things together.” He curled his good hand. “I talked to Jen this morning. She told me I didn’t need to worry. That she and her husband have no intentions of taking Casey away, no matter what Alaina says. That she kind of suspected I wasn’t Casey’s real father, but she’s totally supportive of me wanting to adopt her. Of taking sole legal custody. And no matter what, they’re still okay with helping out financially. It’s lucky they understand how tough rodeo life can be. She’s their granddaughter, even if her mom is lousy. They’d like to see her more often. I’d like to help them do that.”
His hand shook. It was such a relief to hear those things from Jen.
“You could’ve saved us some trouble if you’d just given me a quick explanation,” she said softly. “That’s all I wanted.”
He rose and approached her. “The only girl I’m used to answering to is Casey. And I’m the adult there, so my decisions are pretty much set in stone. It’s a terrible excuse, but Alaina messed my head up so bad, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to trust a woman again. I do trust you, Natalie. You’ve been nothing but kind to us and I almost screwed it up. I hope you can forgive me.”
She folded her arms and screwed up her face in frustration. “You’re awfully pathetic looking right now. It’s hard to be mad.”
He pulled one of her hands away to clasp it in his own. “I want to make something good between us. All of us, Casey included. We could settle down a little bit. Make a home, but I don’t want to do it without you.”
“What about our rodeo careers?”
He smiled. “I’d be willing to make some adjustments.” He held up his casted arm. “Looks like I have to anyway. I’m flexible for the foreseeable future. I’m willing to be flexible for the unforeseeable too.”
Her smile started, then stopped, then came on full force. “Okay. We’ll see how it goes.”
“And maybe...maybe it could become a forever thing.” Hope was a powerful motivator. He wanted a real family for Casey. A family with Natalie.
“I like the sound of this ‘forever thing’.” She leaned closer to him. “We should definitely try working toward it. I see you’re packing up. Where you off to, Cowboy?”
“Probably Swells to start, but I have an open schedule. I might follow my new girlfriend around the circuit for a while.” He winked at her. “If that’s okay.”
She looped her arms around his neck. “I was thinking I might have to check out this little town called Swells that apparently is known as home to some good-looking cowboys.”
Her hand was warm in his and the day was early. It showed a lot of promise. And maybe, just maybe, held a glimpse of forever.