chapter TEN
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1963
Today is the day. The day we move out of Mrs. Walker’s house. For the past two months, we’ve been living there, sleeping in separate bedrooms so that it wouldn’t confuse Curtis’s brothers and sisters. I haven’t felt like I’m married yet. Things are still the same as before, except I no longer live with Momma and Daddy.
Now that we’re moving into the guesthouse—just the two of us—I think it’s going to feel a bit more real.
And that secretly scares me to death.
The past two months had been hell on Curtis. Not only because he’d spent a lot of time explaining to everyone they knew that he and Lorrie had gotten married, but also because it seemed every minute he wasn’t at school, he was working. Whether it was doing the chores on the ranch that required his attention or the endless hours he’d spent fixing up the guesthouse so that he and Lorrie could move in there, every extra minute had been spent preparing for today.
But now all that hard work had paid off, and they were finally getting to move into the house.
Just the two of them.
“Are you sure it’s ready to live in?” Lorrie asked as they packed the last of their things into the bed of his truck.
“I’m sure.”
“What about a washer?” she asked.
He knew she was trying to come up with excuses because she was hesitant, but Curtis respected that. For the first two months of their marriage, they’d slept in separate rooms, in a house full of people. This would be an interesting transition. For both of them.
“It’s bein’ delivered on Monday.”
“Should we wait till then?”
Curtis reached for his wife—he fucking loved the sound of that—pulling her against him on the far side of the truck, shielded from anyone’s view.
He twisted their positions so that she was up against the truck, his body pressed to hers. Tilting her chin up, he stared down into her eyes, doing his best not to let his gaze drop to her mouth. “It’s okay to be nervous, darlin’, but we’re movin’ today.”
“I’m not nervous,” she retorted haughtily, reminding him of the first time she’d showed up on his front porch.
“Then what’re you worried about?” She looked away, but he kept his finger beneath her chin. “Look at me, Lorrie.”
Her eyes snapped back to his. “I’m not worried.”
“Good.” Not that he believed her. He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her lips before releasing her. “You ready?”
Lorrie glanced back at the house. “I should go say good-bye to everyone.”
When she started toward the house, he grabbed her around the waist, lifting her off her feet and carrying her to the driver’s side of the truck. “They’re less than a minute away. They don’t need you to say good-bye. Now scoot your cute little butt over so I can get in.”
She did as he instructed, giggling softly, but he saw the way her hands were shaking.
After starting the truck, he put it in first gear and headed toward the small, two-bedroom, one-bath guesthouse that had once been used by some of the ranch hands before the small bunk house was built.
As he’d mentioned, less than a minute later, he was parked in front of the house. He glanced over at Lorrie. “I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted after that long drive.”
She smacked his arm, this time laughing. The worry lines in her forehead finally smoothed out, but he doubted that would last for long.
“I’m gonna go in, get comfortable on the couch.” He climbed out and peered into the truck. “You just lemme know if you need help with any of this stuff.”
“Curtis Walker!” she huffed.
He laughed, then reached for her, pulling her out of the truck before tossing her over his shoulder and carrying her right into the house. She hadn’t yet seen all the work he’d done, so he wanted to see her reaction before he started bringing their stuff in.
Setting her on her feet, he then backed away from her.
“What’d’ya think?”
Her eyes widened as she took it all in, then a small smile played on her lips. “It’s … not bad.”
“Not bad?” Curtis lunged for her, but Lorrie quickly evaded him, running into the kitchen and circling the table to get away from him. He nodded his head toward the stove. “You know how to use that thing, right?”
She glared at him, her cute little nose scrunching up.
“Kidding,” he said quickly, pretending to go one way, then turning and grabbing her when she started to run away.
Trapping her between the wall and his body, he took her hands and linked their fingers, raising them above her head as he crushed his mouth to hers. And though he’d expected her to be a little hesitant, he was not expecting her to panic the way that she did. The way her eyes widened, her whole body shaking and her breathing raspy, he knew he’d pushed too far.
And that was his first clue that this … a house of their own … might not have been a good idea.
Freaking out certainly wasn’t her intention, but for some reason, that was exactly what Lorrie did when Curtis pinned her to the wall. Although his mouth was warm and familiar, his hands gentle, her nerves had interrupted every signal from her brain, and she pulled back from him.
“Hey,” Curtis whispered, releasing her hands and putting his arms around her. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Lorrie wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. “You didn’t,” she mumbled against his shirt. “I’m just a little nervous.”
A lot nervous was more like it, but she knew she didn’t need to explain that to him. He’d witnessed it firsthand.
“You know I’m not gonna push you, right?”
Clearly Curtis knew her too well if he was asking her that. “I know.” And she did.
Didn’t mean her brain was processing that information at the moment.
By the time they were ready for bed, Lorrie had pretty much made herself sick with worry. She knew that Curtis expected her to sleep in his bed, and she wanted to. She really did. But she wasn’t ready for … sex. As much as she wanted to be ready, it didn’t feel like the right time for her. And that meant that sleeping in his bed would mean she was being a tease, and she definitely did not want to be that.
“Come on,” Curtis said, his tone soft as he got up from the couch.
They’d been sitting there for the last couple of hours, ever since they’d finished unloading their things and putting them in their proper place. It had seemed almost natural for both of them to be reading on separate ends of the couch since they didn’t have a television, but what little reprieve she’d had from her nerves was now gone.
Knowing this was what was expected of her, Lorrie forced herself up from the couch, then took Curtis’s hand when he held it out to her. She allowed him to lead her into their bedroom and right over to the new bed he’d bought for them. According to Curtis, sleeping in his old twin bed was not an option, no matter how close he wanted to be to her.
Swallowing hard, Lorrie wiped her sweaty palm on her pants when he released it.
“Get dressed for bed,” he instructed.
Nodding, she did as she was told, retrieving one of her long nightgowns from her dresser, then heading to the bathroom to change. When she emerged, she found Curtis lying in the bed, propped up on a pillow with his hands tucked behind his head. Shirtless.
Her throat worked overtime as she tried to swallow the anxiety down.
“I’m dressed, darlin’. Only my shirt is gone.”
She wasn’t sure if knowing that helped or not.
Curtis patted the bed. “Come on.”
It took a few seconds for her to convince her feet to move, but finally she managed to climb into bed, keeping a safe distance between them as she pulled the blankets up to her neck.
Curtis turned to face her, but he didn’t attempt to get closer. “I’m not gonna force you to do anything you don’t wanna do, Lorrie.”
It sounded as though he was disappointed by her reaction, and she could see why. She was acting as though he was going to jump on her at the first opportunity. But she knew Curtis. He respected her; that she was certain of.
Still, this was significantly different than her sleeping in Gerald’s old bedroom and Curtis sneaking into her room for a few minutes each night.
Which meant this was more like being married than a simple piece of paper that said they were.
Truth was, she’d thought she was fine with it until now. Thought she would be able to handle being Curtis Walker’s wife in every sense of the word.
That definitely wasn’t the case.
Now that it was a reality, she was just scared silly.