Chapter Nineteen

The mind-numbing activity of breaking camp and beginning to march again was a welcome relief for Wrath. He moved quickly to help pack gear and check the weapons. His presence was unnecessary, but he needed something to keep himself busy. Otherwise, he would have spent his time thinking about Rachel. The hurt expression on her face made him uneasy. The cyborg wasn’t sure how to explain it, but he felt an urge to try to comfort her.

It was easier to shove the whole incident out of his mind and fill his brain with trivial tasks. The sun sank behind the distant mountains, casting long shadows across their temporary camp.

He retrieved Rachel from the cave when it was time to leave. He didn’t give her a chance to speak or argue. Instead, he stood at the entrance in the rock and ordered her to come. She picked herself up from the ground and followed him obediently. It was a positive sign. If he could keep her under control, it wouldn’t be as hard to be around her as he had feared.

He would never admit the truth to Rachel or the cyborgs, but Wrath had intended to leave her hands free. Immediately after they fucked in the cave, he had hoped he would be able to influence her.

That was before he realized she’d used sex as a tactic against him. He would not allow any cyborg to fall victim to her charms. Using her body, Rachel could easily make the members of Green Squad turn against each other. Wrath had fallen for her once. Now that he knew her strategy, it wouldn’t happen again.

“Hold out your hands.”

Rachel complied, turning her palms up to him willingly. Wrath grabbed them roughly with one hand, pinning her wrists together as he bound them with a length of rope. He tugged on the knot, making sure it was secure before tying the other end to his belt. The line would leave his hands free while simultaneously keeping her in check. The cyborg left plenty of slack in the rope so he could keep Rachel at a distance.

“Keep up with me this time,” he advised her sternly. “If you pretend to fall again, we won’t stop and coddle you.”

Clayton remained in the middle of the group with plenty of cyborgs both ahead of and behind him. Wire had volunteered to be his personal guard again and stood at attention on Clayton’s right. Another cyborg was on his left, and the remainder of the squad assembled in a double line.

Wrath moved to the front of the formation. “If we start quickly enough, we can reach our destination before sunrise.” He set out without saying another word, putting one foot in front of the other at a steady pace. Green Squad did not need a motivational speech to know that time was also their enemy.

The cyborg leader could not appreciate the beauty of the desert colors illuminating the sky behind the mountains. The sun was sending up its final rays before taking its light away. He ignored the slow closing of the buds on the foliage crushed beneath his feet. He didn’t focus his hearing on the calling of night birds coming out to hunt their prey.

Wrath focused on two things: the path in front of him and the presence of the prisoner. Rachel said nothing as she trudged behind him. Her footsteps were lighter than his and less determined. Even so, he could hear them echo inside his head. Every grain of sand she moved with the treads of her boots sounded like a boulder rolling down a cliff. Wrath tried to ignore the sounds, but as soon as he blocked out the vibration of her footfalls, he heard the air flowing into her lungs as she breathed. He couldn’t stop paying attention to her.

There was nothing he could do or say to regain control of his senses. He couldn’t tell Rachel to stop breathing. If the cyborg insisted she walk somewhere else in the formation, he would have to worry about her influence on other soldiers. He might become even more aware of Rachel, wondering if she was watching him or talking to someone else. It was best to keep her at his side.

He prepared himself for Rachel to say something. Would she try to work her magic on him again? To his disappointment, Rachel remained silent.

The only noise Rachel made was the sound of her body moving through the desert. Her footfalls became uncertain as the light faded, but she didn’t stop walking. Eventually, the looming darkness forced Wrath to activate his night vision. Most of the route was flat, but some areas required making their way through arroyos and rock formations. It wouldn’t be an easy journey.

The weird green glow of his night vision revealing the desert around him flashed brightly, then faded to darkness. Wrath paused, not knowing what had happened. If his night vision had failed, he was in trouble. He needed to see if he wanted to move and lead.

Without warning, his vision returned. He breathed a sigh of relief but caught it between his lips when he realized he wasn’t looking at the desert. Instead of sand, cacti, and thorny trees, the cyborg saw a small living room.

He sat on a faded plaid couch. Two other people in the room sat on small, mismatched chairs. They looked at him expectantly. They knew him, but he couldn’t put names to their faces. A breeze rustled the heavy curtains on the picture window.

“Son, we’re concerned about your decision.” The man’s dark blue eyes looked at Wrath as if he could see death with his eyes. “It’s going to change your life forever.”

“I know, Dad,” Wrath replied. He could feel his lips moving, but he wasn’t in control and didn’t even know the words.

“We can’t change your mind.” It was the woman’s turn to talk. She had dark, thin hair that reached to her shoulders. Her brown eyes looked kind. She was on the verge of tears. “You’re an adult now. We want you to know there are other choices. We can help you.”

“I signed all the paperwork. I leave in less than a month.”

His father spoke again. “Robert, you should have talked to us about your plans before you signed anything. We’re your parents. We could have helped you make sure your choices were the best for your future.”

Wrath couldn’t look at the man and turned his gaze to the worn shag carpeting under his feet. He knew that after he left, he might never step on that floor again. “I don’t think it would have mattered that much. What other options did I have?” He looked up to see his mother purse her lips.

“If you didn’t want to stay here, we could have talked to Aunt Marsha. She has a big house, and she’s all alone now that her girls have moved out. I’m sure she would have let you stay with her. There’s a community college nearby.”

The room seemed to rattle when Wrath shook his head. “It’s too late now. I’ve made my decision. If you wanted to stop me, you could have done something a long time ago.” He could feel the defiant jut of his chin as he stared emotionlessly at the couple.

His parents were silent for a moment. Finally, with a heavy sigh, the man spoke. “We know why you think you need to do this, Robert. I promise that things aren’t as bad as you think. It’s been hard living with your brother. But we’re doing everything we can.”

“Everything you can? That’s the first time you’ve lied to me in this conversation.” Wrath pushed himself up from the ugly couch. “How can you say that to me? Do you think grounding him is doing anything when he sneaks out every night? He couldn’t care less if you don’t let him go to the basketball games or the homecoming dance. He doesn’t even want to go! He makes you think he likes those things so he won’t miss anything when you take them away from him.”

His heart ached as he remembered the decisions he’d made to start the next phase of his life. Rachel was important to him, and he had dumped her. It had taken only a few minutes, but the damage to his heart wouldn’t heal for years. The thought infuriated him.

“Sit down, Robert.”

He shook his head. He was on a roll now, and wouldn’t let anyone stop him. “No. I’ve sat down and taken everything you gave me for too long. I tried to make the other kids at school forget who I was and my origins. For a while, it was working. I had a spot on the varsity football team, a beautiful girlfriend, and I saved up every penny I had to buy clothes that no one could mock. I thought I had everything fixed. Jimmy had to go and mess everything up.” He could feel the anger boiling beneath his skin and started to pace the shabby room to release his energy.

“Jimmy hasn’t taken any of that away from you,” his mother protested.

“Yes, he has, Mom! Our town is too small to avoid the rumor mill. I thought I could go to college. Rachel and I might get married and buy a house in the right part of town. Even if I manage to get out of here, everyone will still think of me as nothing more than a loser from the wrong side of the tracks. I have to leave.”

The man threw his hands in the air, giving up. “All right, if that’s the way you want it. I know you’ll make an excellent serviceman, just like your grandfather. We’ll be waiting for you when you get home.”

“If I’m lucky,” Wrath retorted, “I won’t be coming home at all.” He stomped past his parents and out the front door, slamming it behind him.

The crash of the door closing triggered a searing pain in the cyborg’s head. He fell to the floor clutching at his hair. He was willing to do anything to make the pain stop.

On the other side of the door was a shaggy yard. It had brown grass that was either dead or dying everywhere. The trees around it were overgrown. Weeds and vines snaked up their trunks as they tried to find their way out of the tiny yard. Wrath saw it for only a moment before the pain forced his eyes to shut and the vision disappeared. He felt as though he could describe every speck of dust on the porch. Even through the anguish in his head, he could remember each cobweb that clung to the shutters on the house and all the streaks of dirt covering the old van parked in the driveway.

“Wrath? Captain?” A voice called to him from a distance. The cyborg struggled to move through a great void, searching for a way out. He didn’t know where he was going or how to get there, but it would have to be better than the pain and the emptiness around him.

“What’s wrong with him?” A different person was speaking now, and her voice was beautiful. It sounded like music as it filtered into his ears. He swiveled his head, listening and trying to locate the sound again. If he could hear it one more time, he would know what direction to take. He could swim through the darkness and find his way out.

He heard other sounds in the background, but they wouldn’t help him escape like that lovely voice. He ignored them, waiting impatiently for something that would tell him where to go. He typically had orders or enough information to make a decision. Here he had nothing.

Something small and cold touched his forehead. Wrath couldn’t see it, but he could feel it brushing against his skin. It pushed his hair back, swept down his cheek, and cradled the side of his neck. The muscles in the cyborg’s body suddenly relaxed, and the darkness consumed him.