Eliot Prince
David follows me up the wide staircase with the landing windows that overlook a fifty-mile mountain view, then climb a few more steps and turn down a musty-smelling hall with doors leading down almost as far as you can see.
“Seriously,” David says, “what’s going on with you lately?”
“Huh?”
“Come on, tell me. You look so…torn. Still sad about Grandma Sara?”
I roll my eyes as we turn into the room where we deposited our bags earlier. We’ve got a porch overlooking the lake, and the shower is big enough for sex. I made sure of that.
“No, it wouldn’t be that. You met Sara. You know how she is. Or was, I mean. If she were here she’d probably shove a martini into my hand right now. It’s just…I don’t know.”
In my head, all I can see are Robert’s eyes. But why?
“Babe,” David says, “you can talk to me. I know things are weird, but…I’m still me.”
I turn and glare at him, angry about the cheating all over again. “Are you, though?”
He sighs. “Stop. I just wish you’d give me all your energy while you’re actually with me. I don’t know what you do on your own time. What, are you dating someone? Is it that guy who checked you out in Glow Bar the other weekend?”
“What? I don’t even know who you’re talking about. David, I hate to break it to you, but you kind of lost the right to delve into my personal life when you fucked that random guy.”
His shoulders fall. I want to feel bad for him, but he is the one who cheated on me, and also followed me here when I told him I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Now we’re fighting again, just like I knew we would.
But that’s not the reason I’m most disappointed he’s here. I am disappointed because I wanted to talk to Robert, and David’s presence made me too afraid.
“Hey,” I say a little more jokingly, “don’t roll your eyes at me. Don’t act like it’s an inconvenience to you that you broke our relationship.”
“Whatever,” he pouts. “Eliot, I told you. I really wanted to come here, but not if it was going to become one long punishment.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes you do. I can’t relive what I did every day. I’m doing everything I can to repay you, but I don’t know what else I can do.”
“Oh, well,” I say as I step into the bathroom to pee, losing interest in the subject by the second. Fuck – I can even feel that my briefs are wet with pre-cum. (I’m dripping with cum from my former stepfather at my grandmother’s funeral – this is going to be one long stay.)
“I hate when you walk away from a conversation,” he pouts. “You know what? Why don’t you just go fuck that guy you kept making eyes at.”
I freeze. “What?”
“Come on, don’t play dumb. You two were bouncing off each other like bumper cars. Who is he?”
Oh, God. This could be bad.
“Shut up,” I say as casually as I can. “I was not even doing that.”
“Yes you were. The gay guy with the business-y pants. Who was he?”
Finally I try to throw him off by overcompensating. “Well that would be odd if I were eye-fucking him, as you claim, because for your information, he used to be married to my mom.”
I hear him gasp a little. “What? And he’s…he’s gay?”
“Well, he wasn’t out of the closet back then, obviously. And how did you know he was gay?”
“Takes one to know one. Also…the way he was looking at you. But…wow. I didn’t even know your mom was married to anyone before Rick. You never told me.”
“Why would I have? They got divorced, like, ten years ago.”
“True. How’d she take it when he…you know, came out?”
“Good and bad,” I say as my mind takes me back. “In the beginning she thought she’d been such a turnoff to him, he’d given up on women forever because of her. I had to explain how crazy that was, and soon she got over it and met Rick. Now they’re just friendly, I guess.”
“Well he was looking at you, I swear,” he says as he digs through his suitcase. “Maybe he didn’t know who you were. You haven’t seen him since, right?”
“Nope. And he was not looking at me! Maybe he was looking at you.”
“Doubtful.” He gets this dreamy look. “And wow…all along, Eliot had a hot, gay dad. Who knew?”
I turn and face him. “David, he is not my dad. He never was. He was barely married to my mom, and that was a decade ago. I barely knew him. My actual dad had full custody back then, too. Robert has never been any figure like that to me. He’s basically like anyone on the sidewalk these days. Can we drop this?”
“Well why is he here, then?”
“Grandma Sara loved him and probably requested that he come here. She was always very passionate about who she did and didn’t like.”
“Well, by the looks of it, he’ll be ‘coming’ in a totally different sense, if he just looks at you long enough. Ha. Am I really going to have to compete for a guy against his father?”
He’s laughing, but my spine stiffens. Is he really picking up on this already, or is he just joking?
“And even if he doesn’t go after you,” he adds, “I’d still go after him.”
“What?”
“He’s hot as shit!” David cries. “No offense, but I’d like to call him daddy in bed once or twice, if you know what I mean…”
My body stiffens. I know he’s teasing, but the only response I can manage is horrified silence.
And a sense of jealousy, too. Which is even worse…
We’re late for the cocktail hour before dinner, but it doesn’t matter – everyone is too drunk to notice. I am petrified of seeing Robert again, and also more than a little excited. But I don’t see him – and trust me, I look for him.
But I have other worries. Quickly it becomes clear that my mom is drunk. Wasted, even. Everyone else took my grandma’s death fine, because she had eighty years of fun and then died somewhat quickly of natural causes. But I can tell my mom is drinking to ease the pain, and soon she comes over wearing a sombrero and holding a margarita in her hand.
“Whew!” she says. “We’re going into town now! We’re hitting up all the bars, so drink some water and get in the van! You’ve got five minutes! We’re doing this one for Grandma Sara, yeah!”
I knew we were kicking off the trip with a bar crawl, just as Sara would want, but I don’t want my mom to embarrass herself. So I lean into her ear.
“Hey, Mom, you okay? Are you sure you don’t want to just nap while we all go out, something?”
She blinks. Then she gets very serious for a moment. “Eliot, I just accompanied my mother’s body to a cremation room. You need to give me this. If I get out of control, I give you full permission to march me out to the van, but I think I’ll be fine. Just keep me away from Robert, okay?”
I back up a few inches. “Huh? Why?”
“He looks good. Very good. He hasn’t aged an hour. He looks so good, actually, I may try something – even though he’s a queen…”
Mumbling to herself, she dances away, leaving me alone and mortified – because my mother and I are now officially lusting after the same guy.
Finally I file outside and meet everyone in the circular driveaway. Of course, David is nowhere to be found, and as I stand and bite my nails I look over and realize I am directly next to Robert.
Shit. My blood pounds, my forehead sweats. What do you say to someone whose penis you just saw?
I don’t have time, anyway, because that’s when the rental vans pull up. And wouldn’t you be able to guess who I end up sitting right next to?
We sit in silence. I try to keep my leg away from him, but it’s so tempting to let it fall against his and act like it was an accident…
“So,” Robert says as we idle, finally giving me a glimpse of his voice. It’s a little more gravelly than I remember. It’s sexy, too. I’m still doing my best not to touch him, but I’m shoved up against his right thigh – and it’s giving me heart palpitations. “How have you been?”
I gulp. His arms are thick and hairy. His Rolex shines in the light of his hazel eyes. I want to touch those arms, and then I want to see his dick – and I also want to just turn and run away from this whole weird situation. This man has had sex with my mom. I can’t have sex with him, too. Talk about sloppy seconds…
“Swhat?” I ask, then let out a nervous laugh. Guess I’m going to embarrass myself like always. “Oh, sorry, I was trying to say ‘say what,’ but I guess it got mixed up.”
“It’s okay,” he smiles. “Swhat – like it, anyway. And how have you been? What have you been doing?”
I try, but words won’t form. “Um…school?”
“Okay? That’s all?”
“Um. Yes. And…you? How’s your…job?”
“Well, uh, I don’t have a job, per se,” he says. “I’ve done pretty well trading in crypto-currencies. You know, Bitcoin and all that.”
I try to think of something witty, but my brain is not functioning. “Oh. Sounds nice.”
“It’s certainly interesting.” He swallows. “And tell me, who’s your friend that you brought?”
My body jolts again. “Um…complicated. I’m single, though. Not that you asked…”
He gives an unreadable expression. “Interesting. He looked very…attached.”
“He is attached,” I sigh. “The thing is…basically, we broke up a while ago, but he came along as a sort of…friend, I guess, even though I assume he’d like to become more again.”
His arm muscles loosen. Then he adjusts his collar for some reason and flashes me a heart-stopping smile. “Ah,” he breathes. “How sad.”
“What? That we broke up?”
“Oh, no,” he smiles. “That you brought him at all.”
Okay, then. The whole “not functioning” thing only continues as we make our way into town. My thoughts are scattered, and my forehead is sweating in a way that has nothing to do with the early summer warmth. When we hit the New River I text my good friend Oz, back in Raleigh, because I need gay advice, and I also don’t think I’ve ever even mentioned the existence of Robert to him. Why would I have? Robert has nothing to do with me anymore.
So, I begin after I say hello. I need advice. Love advice, I guess.
Oz: Ask away. The gay Dr. Laura is here.
Me: Okay. Don’t ask for details. But. Say that someone was married to a family member, many years ago, and you met them today, and they’re hot. And you feel fireworks.
Oz: Juicy! I hope you get laid somewhere in this story. What about it, though?
Me: Well…I’m hot and bothered, here, and I want to hook up. What are the rules here?
Oz: Hmmm. Depends. What type of family member? How many years ago did they split?
Me: Ten years ago.
Oz: Oh, that’s forever ago. Now the second part. Who were they married to?
Me: Um. A parent.
Oz: …What?
I don’t respond.
Oz: ???
Oz: I can’t even imagine how this scenario could be happening.
Finally I inhale.
Me: Just answer the question.
Oz: Okay, I don’t even know what you’re talking about anymore. I’m the gay Dr. Laura, not the gay Jerry Springer. It sounds a little crazy, not gonna lie. But then again Alicia Silverstone dated her stepbrother in Clueless and everybody loved it, so…what do I know?
I pause. He’s right. The entire premise of that movie was Cher falling for her former stepbrother, and nobody ever batted an eyelash. Is this similar?
Our party of fifteen-or-so Prince family members, and Robert, is dumped off at some restaurant in Boone, a charming little college town in a valley between the peaks. I slide into a seat next to David with strict instructions for myself: I’m going to focus on David, the guy I came here with, the guy who is not my former stepfather. I won’t even look twice in Robert’s way, actually. I’m already over it. I’m already done with him. I know I am.
I’ve just got to repeat that until it becomes true.
But judging by the thrill that bolts throughout my whole body every time our eyes make contact, that won’t be a very easy task.
But then again, what if this is only on my end? I’ve been known to fall in love with strangers from afar, planning out our lives and our futures together, only to find out they were straight or married or something. What if this whole thing is wishful thinking?
I take out my phone and discreetly pull out Grindr, the app that shows you nearby gay men. Some guys use this to find friends, some use it for a kind of community outreach in the gay world, but let’s be honest here – for most, it’s a hookup service.
The app loads, and then my heart stops beating when I see the closest user to me – according to Grindr, he’s only seven feet away. I look down the table at Robert. Yep, about seven feet. The photo is just a torso in a bathroom mirror, and his body is so delectable it makes my skin go pale.
As I watch, his profile goes into active mode. I glance back at him he’s on his phone now. He’s going to see my profile – he’s going to see my distinctive hair color in my photo and know it’s me. How will he react? What if he’s not interested in me at all?
I hold my breath and watch. Then a single message pops up in my inbox: Shitty seats, yeah? I was hoping I’d get to stare at you all night.
I go red again and shove my phone into my pocket. Holy hell, he wants me, too.