Chapter 17
Robin couldn’t just rest the way Shaw had told her to, as her mind went a million miles an hour. “Shaw, listen to me. I can get far away from you when the full moon comes. You don’t have to do this.”
Shaw’s guilt mounted as the woman cried in fear. “Do you really think you can walk away from me and never look back? Because that’s what you’d have to do, Robin.” He let her go and stared down at her, hating to see her so afraid of him.
“I could try,” she said as she wiped her eyes, happy he’d at least let her go. Maybe her idea was a thing he’d never thought about. “I could go somewhere every time the moon’s full. You and I don’t run in the same circles. I could even use a different park to train the dogs.”
“You don’t want to do the guard dog thing with me either?” he asked, feeling himself deflate more and more by the minute. The woman couldn’t care for him the way he did for her if she could turn her back on him and the opportunity to make tons of money. Maybe he should just let her go. Maybe someone else would come along who would return his feelings.
“Do you think you could keep things between us just business if I did?” she asked.
He grew angry with her question. So she’d use him to make money but wouldn’t return his affection? He shook his head. “If you’re around me, I’m going to crave you. Do you understand that, Robin? My feelings for you run deeper than any I’ve ever had for anyone. If you’re around me, I will want you. Do you think you could be around me and not want me?”
She didn’t know. But as she looked at him, the gorgeous man he was when he wasn’t a scary-as-hell wolf, she had to be honest with him as well as herself. “I don’t think I can be around you and not want you, Shaw. So I guess the business deal will have to be off too.”
Shaw’s anger cooled as she’d been truthful with him. He knew she wanted him; it was just her fear that got in her way. Maybe he could slow things down a bit, give her a little more time to understand where she belonged and to whom.
“If you promise not to tell a soul about my friends or me then I’ll take you home and leave you alone. If that’s what you really want, Robin.” He died a little inside as her face lit up.
“Yes! God, yes! I won’t tell a soul, I swear that to you, Shaw.” She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. “You won’t be sorry you let me go. I promise you that.”
Shaw hoped he wouldn’t be sorry. He hoped the space and time between them would have her heart aching as he knew his would be. But he’d give her that. He owed her that much.
Pulling her back, he kissed her with a featherlight kiss. “I won’t tell my pack what you saw. I won’t tell them a thing about what happened or what I told you. If I did that, your life would be in danger. So if you run into any of them, you better not act afraid of them in any way. Tell me you understand me, baby.”
“I understand you. I won’t act afraid, and they’ll never know what I know. Not ever. I promise you that. Can you take me home now?” Shaw could only stare at her beautiful face, trying to memorize everything about it. His heart filled with pain and the wolf inside him howled in anguish.
To the wolf, Shaw was playing a dangerous game that might cost them the only female he’d ever wanted. The wolf and Shaw both knew Robin was born for them. But her fear had to be overcome before Shaw made her theirs.
Her love for him would have to be found, and her fear would have to change. She’d have to fear to live a life without him more than being changed into a creature like him.
“I’ll take you home now. Get dressed.” He got out of bed to put his clothes on and tried his best to ignore how happy she was to be leaving him.
After they’d dressed, he took her to the garage with his cars in it. Taking the keys to the four-wheel drive truck, he helped her climb up in the tall thing. “Wow, you have a lot of cars, Shaw.”
“And they’d be yours too if you weren’t so afraid of becoming like me,” he told her then closed the passenger door.
Robin looked at the cars and thought about what he’d said. She wasn’t about to trade her life for any damn automobiles. When he got inside behind the steering wheel, she had to admit to herself that she hated the look on his face.
Did he really care that deeply for her? Already?
The ache she felt in her heart had her wondering just how much she cared for him. She did feel terrible for making him so sad. “I’m sorry, Shaw. I really am. I wish you could understand. Taking a chance of dying isn’t a thing I’d ever do. And the thought of becoming a wolf is like a nightmare to me.”
He started the truck without saying a word and drove her all the way to her apartment in silence. When he’d parked, he got out and met her in front of the truck. “You don’t have to walk me inside,” she quickly said.
“I want to,” he said as he reached out and took her hand. “I have to hold you for a minute, kiss you goodbye. This isn’t easy for me. Not as easy as it is for you, it seems.”
Robin couldn’t help feeling sorry for the man. He looked worse and worse with each passing moment. So she didn’t argue and let him go inside her apartment with her. At least there she knew if he tried anything people would hear her screams and call the police.
She laughed to herself as she thought the police most likely couldn’t do a thing to a wolf-shifter anyway.
Once inside with the door closed behind them, Shaw took her into his arms, inhaling deeply. He had to take her scent as deep inside him as he possibly could. He needed something in reserves to hold him over until she realized she did have feelings for him. Feelings that would override her fears.
“Each day that passed without me seeing you felt like an eternity. And that was before I made you mine, Robin.” He nuzzled the top of her head, stirring her hair and releasing the honey smell of her shampoo. “Now that I’ve had a taste of your sweet nectar, I don’t know how I’ll make it without you. I want you with me every minute of every day. I want you in my arms each night. I want you in my bed with me where you belong.”
“How can you want me that much in such a short amount of time, Shaw?” she asked him.
He pulled back to look at her. “Look into my eyes and tell me you don’t feel the attachment we made when we made love, Robin.”
She gulped as she looked into his eyes and found herself going back to the night, before he changed and frightened her nearly to death. She’d felt more than she knew possible with him. He’d taken her to a place no one ever had, and she doubted anyone else could.
“I know you think I’m the one for you…” she started to say.
He had to let her know the truth. “You are the only one for me. For us. There is nor will there ever be another.”
“Come on,” she said as she smiled at him, trying to lighten him up. “You can’t know that for certain.”
He kept looking into her green eyes, his favorite color in the world. “Tell me, do you think there is any mere mortal man who can do to you what I did? Do you think any other man can care for you as deeply as I do? Because there is no one, Robin. A wolf mates for life. And shifters are immortal. I’d love you until the end of forever, which is a damn long time. Can any man admit that he’d do the same for you?”
“You love me?” she asked. He’d never told her that before. Not that it made a difference. She just had to know is all.
“I love you, Robin Winters. I adore you. I cherish you. And only I could make you mine for eternity. No human can offer you what I’m offering you, a love that will last forever.” His lips grazed hers, making his insides heat with desire. He needed the woman as much as he needed air to breathe. But he wanted her to give herself to him, rather than either he or his wolf taking her by force.
She felt her heart pounding as he poured his heart out to her. A heart that was massive and filled with more than she had ever realized. “Shaw, I can’t become what you are.”
“Are you afraid of pain? Because I can tell you it’s not as terrible as it seems.” He searched her eyes and saw something in them that told him she might be wavering already.
“Pain, the unknown, a life that never ends.” She looked away, cutting her eyes to one side. “My family would die, and I’d lose them forever, never even get to meet them again in Heaven.” She looked back at him. “My family isn’t like yours. I’d lose them.”
He nodded. “That’s true. But you’d have our children and me. And you’d have us forever.”
A chill ran through her with the thought of children. “About children, Shaw… do your kind have them in litters or what?”
He chuckled. “No, our females have one at a time, in their human forms. Sometimes twins are had, like in humans.”
She found her curiosity kicking up. “Can you have them in a hospital, as normal people do?”
He shook his head. “Can you imagine the stir it would cause when they tested the baby’s blood? Plus, you’d be immortal, childbirth could never kill you. The females have their babies at home. Usually, another female will help if the pregnant female needs that. I think you and I could do it all alone, to be honest. But I wouldn’t be opposed to allowing a female to help you. At least with the first one.”
Robin laughed and shook her head. “This isn’t even a thing we should be talking about. I’m learning far more about a thing I’ll never speak a word about. I can’t do this. I can’t become like you. There are just too many things I’m afraid of.”
“I’ve never been afraid of one thing. Not a single thing, Robin. Not until I found you. Ever since then, I’ve been afraid I’d never make you mine. It seems my fear is coming true so your fear can be avoided.” He let her go and walked away then looked over his shoulder as his hand took the doorknob. “You have my number if you change your mind. If you find you fear losing me more than anything else, I’m only a phone call away. I won’t bother you. But make sure you’re far away and safe by the time the moon is full, Robin, or my wolf will find you, and you won’t get to make a choice.”
He left her then, and she found her body crumbling to the floor. She missed him already.