Chapter eighteen - Tom
I saw the look on the Alpha’s face when he burst into flames. I knew the only chance for survival was by changing into the bear. The last time I saw the Alpha was when I was airborne and crashing through the doors to the balcony. The oxygen entering the room was enough to feed the fire. I momentarily saw him collapse in the flames, never to be seen again. I was naked when I scrambled down the fire escape in the dark. They were going to find one fireman’s outfit missing from their inventory. I found the first thing to cover-up my dignity.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
I couldn’t believe it was over. The bane of my existence hanging over my head like a dark cloud was replaced by the sunshine of her smile. “I know this isn’t the outcome you were hoping for, but we are going to have to stop seeing each other. I’ve learned the hard way being with you might be something that my kind will never understand.” She was the light in my life. I was telling her what we had together couldn’t survive.
“I believe the explosion might be still ringing in my ears. Could you repeat that? I’m not sure that I really heard you.” She was giving me a chance to take it back with a clean slate, but I wasn’t about to do that.
“I know you heard me. I’m going to have to answer some questions and I’m not sure how the others are going to respond. I would say for the most part they will be relieved. Things are going to be complicated and you’re only going to get in the way.” I knew the burden of responsibility was going to be on my shoulders. They would look to me to become the Alpha and I would have no choice but to accept. I had inherited his power.
“We’ve been through too much to let it end like this.”
I didn’t want her to have the chance to change my mind. The shifter community would find us being together something to unite factions against me. Some with new-age thinking would accept the change better than those clinging to the old ways.
“I’m not saying it’s going to be forever, but we need to take a step back. I need to figure out my next move without constantly worrying about your safety.” I gazed into her eyes and I could see a well of tears, not to mention complete and utter denial.
“We have been through hell and you walked through fire to protect what we had together. I’m going to need more than superficial words to convince me of your sincerity. Tell me you don’t want me and I will gladly step aside. I don’t think that you can do that with a straight face and mean it.”
She was right, but I was going to have to use my best acting skills. “I can’t be what you want me to be. I will always hurt the one I love. People tend to die when they are around me. You are a fragile human being that will break easily. Don’t test my resolve. I’ve made up my mind and nothing is going to change it. This life isn’t for you.” I was trying to let her down easy, but she was standing there looking at me with her eyebrow cocked.
“It’s not enough to make me stay away. The one thing you haven’t said is that you don’t love me. Say that and we will never have to see each other again. It might be awkward in the office, but I can be professional. It’s entirely your decision.”
She was going to make me say the words. They would hurt her like a knife cutting through her heart.
I tried to walk away, but she was not going to let me off that easily. She chased me back to the car and used one hand to push me up against it. We were outside her place in the very spot where Jason had found out his anger was no match for my beastly disposition.
“I don’t love you and I never have. I’m incapable of that kind of emotion. I was only stringing you along to get close enough to the Alpha to make my move. You now know the truth, and I hope you can live with it.”
“You can’t mean it. It doesn’t seem possible for you to be this cruel and conniving. I don’t believe you.” She was pushing me into a corner and I was going to have to come out swinging with my best verbal shot.
“Don’t get me wrong, the sex was phenomenal, but there was nothing of an emotional connection. I can’t believe you could be so gullible to believe I could fall in love with you. It makes me sad and it’s no wonder you gave Jason your heart.” My eyesight was still trying to adjust from the explosion. The street lamps were giving me a headache.
“I never thought you could be this abusive with your words. I should have known better than to think we had something special. I deluded myself into believing in a happy ending. I got my hopes up, only to have them dashed yet again. I didn’t see this coming and that’s on me.”
My heart was breaking, but I smiled to give her the idea her words meant nothing to me. “I literally had to beat it into your thick skull. There were moments I thought you were going to see through my ruse and call me out on the carpet. You wanted to believe, and you swallowed everything that I said with a spoon.”
“You could fire me, but then you would have a litigation nightmare breathing down your neck. I could leave quietly without making a scene, but I would rather make you live in awkward silence when you see me in the hall. You haven’t heard the end of this.” She was going to become a thorn in my side and I deserved worse.
“There are several moving pieces on the board. The king is dead, leaving those under the umbrella of his power to run around like chickens with their heads cut off.”
I was going to have to dedicate my time between business and my duties as the new Alpha. I couldn’t afford the distraction of the shifter community raising holy hell about me being with a human female. We had to be united and they would know from the outset I had an open door policy. I was never going to be the kind of ruler to put them underneath my thumb. Their opinions would matter and a new age of trust would be born from the death of the Alpha.
I didn’t want anything to happen to Roseanne and the best way to avoid that was to get her out of the line of fire. The harsh words weren’t easy to formulate into sentences, but I managed to make her believe in my conviction.
“I know deep down you don’t mean anything you say, but I hope you can live with being alone. It gets cold at the top, and you won’t have anybody there to warm you up. I hope you find some cold comfort in your vast fortune.” She was making it sound like I was a fool to let her go. A big part of me believed that.
“I’m through having the same argument. I was hoping to end things on a good note with no hard feelings. I can see how you might feel betrayed by my good intentions. I should leave while we still have a good working relationship. We are destined to make a huge amount of money, and I don’t want to do anything to ruin what could be a very profitable future for this company.”
Without the Alpha, the money I was paying in dues was no longer something of a concern. His percentage was extravagant. I wasn’t going to handcuff the entrepreneurs in the shifter community with the same outrageous demands.
“I don’t know what you measure success by. I hope you will be very happy. Don’t come crying to me when you change your mind. I may not be waiting for you to come crawling back on your hands and knees.” She had taken off the shackles that restrained her from being strong and confident.
“You were instrumental in my plan, but I was unaware how this was going to affect you. Call it tunnel vision. I should’ve been more compassionate, but my main focus was to rid the shifter community of its greatest threat.” I tried to take the sting out of my words by giving her credit for helping to topple the governmental structure of the Alpha’s control.
“I’m glad I could help,” she said bitterly. “I only wish you had a better way than to use me to get what you wanted.” She was saying every word through clenched teeth. It probably took all her effort not to take a swing at me.
“Time is the only thing that will heal these wounds. Yours is more psychological and mine are physical. I need some rest to prepare myself for the change in command. This is going to shake the foundation of my world as I know it. I can only hope the next leader will feel it necessary to include all of us in the decisions.” I didn’t tell her the true reason why I was pushing her away.
“I wouldn’t want to wish what happened to you on my worst enemy. I do hope it takes you more than a few hours to bounce back. I will get my pound of flesh by seeing you writhe in agony. If you were expecting me to break into a million pieces, then you are sorely mistaken.”
“I can’t stand here anymore trying to explain myself. I hope you find somebody worthy of your affection.” I had let her in and now I was closing the door and throwing away the key. “Don’t make the cardinal mistake of going back to something familiar. You love with all of your heart, and that kind of emotional bond comes with a risk of heartbreak.” I walked away, not bothering to turn around, knowing the temptation of running back into her arms was stronger than it appeared.
I looked down at my shoes and kept my head firmly planted on my shoulders. I had come close to losing my life. It made me see what was important. My happiness was nothing compared to the shifter community getting a new lease on life.
I would slowly open their eyes to new ideas, but any chance of being with Roseanne was summarily destroyed by words alone.
I was worried about her fragile state of mind, but I could see a new woman emerging, stronger and more resilient than ever. I wouldn’t want to be the next man to cross her path. She would be extra cautious and find any little thing to ruin what could be something to build on.
I flagged down a taxi and my future was written by the drastic action of taking someone’s life. He couldn’t be allowed to slink away into the dark to gather his forces to wage a war that nobody would win. His death would serve notice to those who had followed blindly in his path.