Chapter Eight
Vanessa
Sunlight crept through the curtains, and I groggily opened my eyes. Thank god it was Sunday and I didn’t have to work. But since when did I have expensive curtains instead of cheap blinds? And since when did I have a bed bigger than a single?
I sat bolt upright as memories from the previous night flooded back. I groaned and turned my head, searching the room for Jacob. He wasn’t there.
“Oh, no. No, no no…” I said out loud, my cheeks flushing as I recalled what I’d done.
It was awful. Beyond awful. I got trashed at a bar, called him, somehow guilted him into picking me up, and then I’d thrown myself at him. I cringed as I recalled myself calling him daddy, then later stripping in front of him and begging him to take my virginity.
Oh my god. Oh my god, I really did that.
I hadn’t even taken no for an answer. He’d calmly rejected me like the decent man he was, and instead of being mature and accepting it, I’d lunged at him and kissed him. Wow, how dumb could I be? And then I’d vomited everywhere; the bitter cherry on top of the crap cake that was last night.
I didn’t think a single other human being in the world could possibly feel as humiliated as I did right now, and I deserved to feel this way too. I was a complete idiot. My behavior last night was absolutely mortifying. I doubted I would even be able to look Jacob in the eye after the incident.
I lay back down and buried my head under my pillow, never wanting to leave bed again. I didn’t even feel all that hungover; it was mostly just regret making my head pound. What the hell had I been thinking? Of course he’d turned me down, and I was sure as hell glad he had. Otherwise I would have waited all these years only to drunkenly lose my virginity on a whim. To my boss, no less.
There was a knock at the door, and my heart sank even further. “Vanessa? Are you awake?”
“Yes,” I said meekly.
“Are you decent?”
I pulled the bedcovers up to my chin. “Yes.”
The door opened, and Jacob entered with a tray laden with bacon, pancakes and orange juice. Coffee, too.
“I made you breakfast,” he said. “Good food is the only real cure for a hangover. I assumed you wouldn’t be feeling too great today after the night you had.”
I swallowed hard. “Jacob, I’m so sorry about—”
He held up a hand, cutting me off. “Eat first. Then we’ll talk.”
He sat down next to me, holding the tray in front of me. I haltingly reached out to grab the plate of pancakes, and Jacob held up a finger again. “One second. I forgot to ask. Do you like maple syrup?”
I nodded. “I love it.”
“Here,” he said, picking up a small white china syrup jug. It had an ornate carved pattern around the top, and I watched as he poured some syrup onto my pancakes. I’d always wondered where people got nice china and other stuff like that from. I’d picked up all my apartment’s kitchen things from dollar stores, and I wouldn’t even have the first clue where to get nice furniture and homewares. It was just one of the many ‘adult’ things I’d never learned, because my parental figures hadn’t exactly been the sort of people I could emulate. My mom certainly never bought nice crockery. In fact, she never bought much at all aside from whiskey.
“Is that enough?” Jacob asked.
“Yes. Thank you.”
I tucked into the food, and Jacob watched me eat. Usually it felt unsettling to me to have someone watching me like a hawk, but this wasn’t like that at all. I felt safe and protected around Jacob, no matter what. Even though I was probably going to be fired in five minutes…
“That was really nice,” I murmured, wiping my lips with a napkin from the tray when I was done eating and drinking. “No one’s ever made me breakfast before.”
He arched a brow. “Really? Not even your parents?”
“Not even them. I had to get my own breakfast. Mom was always too….” I hesitated. “Never mind.”
He nodded slowly, obviously catching on to the fact that I didn’t want to start dishing about my childhood. Not now, anyway.
“So, we need to talk,” he said bluntly, sitting up straighter.
My cheeks flushed, and I stared down at the white duvet in shame. “Yes,” I replied. “I know you’re going to let me go, but I just want to say how sorry I am anyway. I would usually never do anything like that. I didn’t realize how drunk I was. I only had three drinks last night. I guess I’m just so tired from everything that’s been going on lately, so the alcohol affected me more. But that’s not an excuse. I’m obviously not the kind of person who should be a nanny. And I’m definitely not the kind of girl who you would….”
My voice trailed off as Jacob gently slid a hand under my chin, tilting my head up so that I was facing him. “Don’t be silly. Even nannies are entitled to have nights off to have fun with friends.”
“Last night wasn’t fun,” I whispered. “I mean, it was until I…”
Once again, my voice trailed off.
“I’m not firing you, Vanessa,” Jacob said. “But I do think you need to be a lot more careful. No more drinking like that. Do you know how worried I was?”
“I’m sorry.”
“I want to take care of you, Vanessa. But I can’t do that if you’re running around seedy parts of town and bar-hopping. Not to mention that area you live in…it’s unsafe for you to be there,” he said. “I’m not trying to control you. It really isn’t a safe place.”
My eyes widened with confusion. “What are you saying, Jacob?”
“I’m saying I think you should move in here. A lot of nannies are live-in with their employers, so it wouldn’t be unusual. There’s already a room for you—you’re sitting in it now—and there’s plenty of space. You’d save so much time on commutes, especially considering how close college is to here, and it would help you save on rent so you don’t have to work so hard. I know you’re still at that coffee shop job as well as helping out with Tommy. So it’s no wonder you’re tired all the time.”
“You want me to move in with you?” I said, unable to believe my ears. He still hadn’t brought up the way I’d thrown myself at him last night….instead he was inviting me to freaking move in to his mansion?
He nodded. “This way you won’t be spread so thin. And it might help avoid a repeat of last night’s incident.”
“I swear, I’ll never drink again,” I said softly. “You don’t need to invite me to live with you just to stop it from happening again. Believe me, it won’t.”
“I know it won’t,” he said, a hard look in his eyes. “But I still want you to move in. I think it would really help, and you know how much Tommy loves being around you. Not that you’d have to work more hours than you usually do with him, of course.”
I chewed on my lower lip for a second. “You really want me here? All the time?” I asked. I still couldn’t quite believe the turn this conversation had taken.
“All the time,” he repeated. “Like I said, I want to take care of you.”
My legs trembled under the sheets at the thought of him taking care of me in every way. Every way. “I’d have to pay you some rent. I can’t just live for free.”
“You don’t have to pay for anything.”
“But I’ve never…”
“You’ve never had someone take care of you in such a way?” he asked, his voice gentle.
“Not really,” I admitted.
“Well, I think it’s about time someone did. You’re a good girl, Vanessa, I know you are. You deserve to be taken care of and helped sometimes.”
My core tingled at his words. Good girl.
“I wasn’t a good girl last night,” I said, shyly twisting the sheets in my left hand.
He smiled gently. “You’re allowed to make mistakes. I know you’re a good girl.”
God, there it was again. If I was drunk, like I had been last night, I’d probably be launching myself at him right now. But I knew I couldn’t do that again. Jacob obviously liked being the one in control of every situation, and to tell the truth, the idea of letting him be in total control of me made my stomach flutter like nothing else.
“So what do you say to my offer?” he asked. “If it’s too much, and I’m crossing a line, don’t be afraid to say something. I’m all ears.”
Oh, there were a lot of lines I wanted to cross with this man…
I hesitated as I considered his proposal. So far, my only choice in life had been ‘take care of myself or live under a bridge in a box’ but now a golden opportunity was being handed right to me. I was being invited to live for free in an enormous mansion by an amazing, mature man who just so happened to be the most handsome guy I’d ever seen…wait, why was I even thinking about it?
I nodded. “I’d like that. I’d really like to live with you and Tommy, Jacob,” I said, my voice timid.
He nodded. “Good,” he said. His deep, firm voice made shivers run down my spine. “But there is one thing I should mention.”
“Oh?”
“If you agree to move in, there will be rules.”
A strange jolt shot through me, making my legs twitch. Rules? What sort of rules? And why was I so turned on by him merely saying that word?
“What kind of rules?” I asked, staring at him with wide eyes.
“House rules, and some others as well.”
“Okay. What are they?”
“Firstly, I want to eat breakfast and dinner with you every day, or as often as possible, anyway. It’s nice to have some sort of ritual, some sort of stability. I think it’s important.
I nodded. “It is.”
“So if you make other plans to eat out with friends on occasion, or do anything else, I want you to tell me, so I at least know where you are and that you’re safe.”
“Oh. Okay, that’s fine. It makes sense for people who live together to let each other know their plans so no one gets worried.”
He nodded. “Yes. The second rule is that if you ever have any problems, call me. And I mean any problems. I can fix things for you, Vanessa, and I won’t mind at all. I want to help you.”
“Okay.”
“Rule three. I always want to know where you are, so that I know you’re safe. If you deviate from your regular schedule, please tell me when and where you are going. A text will suffice, if I’m busy at work. I’ll also link our phones via the Track My Phone app in case you ever get lost or need my help, so I can find you as quickly as possible.”
“Okay.”
“Rule four. Don’t lie to me.”
I blinked. “I would never lie to you.”
“Good. This one isn’t a rule, but I also think you should quit that coffee shop job. Like I said, the more time you have to devote to your studies, the better.”
I felt like I should argue, but I didn’t. Jacob was so powerful, so imposing. I liked him telling me what to do. I liked him being in control.
“I’ll quit,” I said with a nod. “But Nina will need a couple of weeks’ notice. So I can’t just leave the job immediately."
“I understand.”
“Is that all the rules?” I asked. I’d been hoping for more. More of what exactly, I couldn’t say.
Just more.
He stared at me for a second, his eyes darkening. “Maybe you don’t need to hear them all now. We can save some for later,” he said.
“Okay. But….”
“But what?”
“What happens if I break any of the rules?” I asked, biting my lower lip as I waited for a response. I wanted to be a good girl for Jacob, I really did, but at the same time, I couldn’t stop wondering what my punishment would be if I ever broke any of his rules.
He smiled. “Vanessa, if you’re always a good girl, you’ll never have to find out.”
My stomach fluttered again. I had a feeling I wanted to find out…