Chapter Four
Vanessa
“This isn’t decaf. I asked for decaf!”
A bleached-blonde middle-aged woman sneered at me as she practically thrust her coffee cup into my hand, and I meekly took it. “Sorry, ma’am, I’ll have our barista make you a new one.”
I told the Boci barista, and he rolled his eyes. “It was decaf,” he said.
“I know. But you know, the customer is always right, et cetera.”
While he prepared the new drink, I began to wipe down the counter for the umpteenth time, trying to suppress a yawn as I did so. Nina liked everyone to look bright and cheery while working, but that wasn’t easy considering how thin I’d been spreading myself over the last five weeks.
College had started three weeks ago, my nanny job with Tommy was going well and giving me over twenty-five hours of work a week, and I still had hours to work at the coffee shop on Mondays and Tuesdays. On top of that hectic work and study schedule, I’d joined a few extra-curricular clubs on my college campus, because I’d heard that participating in that sort of stuff was good for future networking. So far my favorite club that I’d joined was the campus gossip column, which I had to submit a weekly short piece to. It was just a silly, tongue-in-cheek little publication for the college paper that was meant to give everyone a giggle, and the other girls who worked at it were all nice. Except for one—Jaina, the deputy editor. She seemed to want to turn the column into a real gossip rag, but not many others seemed on board with the idea.
With so much on my plate, I was barely sleeping six hours a night, and I was exhausted. I knew I could support myself on the nanny job and quit Boci, but the extra ten hours of work a week meant an extra hundred or so dollars to play with. It was nice to be able to save a little each week rather than stress about whether or not I would be able to pay my next phone bill.
At two o’clock, I left the café and quickly freshened up at my apartment before heading to the leafy western neighborhood where Tommy’s school was located. He’d be out soon, waiting for me to collect him, so I rushed up to the school gate when I arrived and waited for him.
“Vanessa!” he cried when he spotted me, racing toward me.
“Hey, Tommy,” I said, ruffling his red hair. “How was your day?”
“It was okay. We got to draw some stuff. I drew an Apatosaurus.”
“You’ll have to show me when we get home,” I said. “But only after your homework is done.”
He pouted. “Okay. But can we go to the park first?”
I pretended to think about it very seriously for a minute. “Hmm….I don’t know…maybe…”
“Pretty please?”
I grinned and relented. “We can play at the park across from here for fifteen minutes, and then we need to go, okay?”
“Yes!”
He took off running, little hand entwined in mine, and I followed after him, practically letting him drag me along. The little playground across the road from the school had a lovely north-facing view of the main river that ran through the city, and about half a mile to the east was Grove Stadium, home of the Blades. That was the football team Jacob owned, among other business ventures.
Jacob had been playing on my mind for weeks now, ever since I first met him, and even now as I sat on a park bench and watched Tommy, he was still plaguing my thoughts. I knew it was wrong; the man was twice my age. But there was something so deeply masculine about him, something that made me feel safe. Protected.
Tommy was so lucky to be growing up with him after his parents passed. So many orphaned children ended up shunted around from foster home to foster home, or left to fend for themselves like what happened to me when my mom died. But not Tommy. He had the greatest uncle in the world: Jacob. A big, strong man who would support him and help him through life just like a father would.
I wondered why Jacob didn’t have kids of his own. Maybe he was just always too busy with his high-pressure job, and he simply hadn’t had time to look for a partner yet. I put my hand on my stomach, imagining that I was the one carrying his future children, but I immediately pushed the silly thought aside. A mature, handsome man like Jacob wouldn’t want anything to do with a silly teenage nanny like me. I was eighteen and barely into adulthood, and men like him could do a lot better.
Still, it was nice to dream.
“Vanessa, look behind you!” Tommy shouted from near the swing set.
I reflexively turned and looked for a moment, but there was nothing there.
“Oh, very funny, Tommy,” I said, swinging back around. “Tommy?”
He wasn’t standing at the swing set anymore. In fact, he wasn’t standing anywhere in the playground. I leapt up and whirled around and around, searching for him in every direction. “Tommy, where are you?” I shouted, an anxious lump forming in my throat.
He liked to hide from me sometimes, but he usually only lasted ten seconds before popping out and yelling ‘boo!’. Not this time, though. A full minute had passed, and I couldn’t see him anywhere. I went and checked inside the slide to see if he was crouching in there, and I checked behind every single tree nearby to see if he was hiding behind any of them.
No such luck.
“Oh no, no, no….” I said to myself, my heart hammering away in my chest as my body flooded with fear. “I can’t lose him.”
It wasn’t that I was worried about losing my job. I was worried about Tommy. I shouldn’t have taken my eyes off him, not even for the ten seconds it had taken me to turn and look when he told me to, and it was my fault that he’d vanished now. My mind filled with all sorts of awful images—him stepping into a stranger’s van, never to be seen again. Him jumping into the nearby river for a swim, only to be swept away by a strong current.
Anything could happen to him, and it was all my fault.
Praying that I’d simply missed a hiding spot, I checked the entire playground again, and then I searched the whole park. Little Tommy was still nowhere to be seen. Choking back tears, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Jacob’s private cell number. He’d given it to me when I signed the nanny contract and all the NDA forms, and he said it was the only number he had that he was reachable on at all times.
“Vanessa, is everything okay?” he said as he answered. His deep, masculine voice calmed me for just a second, but then everything flooded out of me.
“I lost him. I lost Tommy! I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to do.”
“You lost Tommy?”
“Yes. I took him to the park, and he—”
“Let me guess. The park near his school? And he tried the ‘made you look’ trick on you, then disappeared?”
“Yes. How did you know?”
Jacob sighed. “It’s not the first time he’s pulled this trick on one of his nannies. You see Grove Stadium, just to your right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Start walking there. I’ll meet you there in ten minutes. Don’t worry, Vanessa, I know exactly where that little tyke is.”
I practically ran the mile to the stadium, guilt and adrenaline coursing through my veins. Even if this was a trick Tommy regularly pulled, that didn’t make me any less irresponsible or wrong. I’d been so stupid letting him get away like that, and I knew Jacob would respect me a little less now and simply see me as ‘that ditzy blonde teenager who nearly lost my nephew’.
When I arrived at the stadium, I saw Tommy and Jacob sitting on some seats down near the field, watching the team practice. I dashed over to them, trying to hold back my tears.
“Tommy, why did you run away from me like that? I was so scared!” I said, crouching down to his level.
He shrugged. “I thought you would find me.”
“Tommy, Vanessa had no idea where you went, and she did not give you permission to run off to the stadium. You need to say sorry,” Jacob said in a warning tone.
“Sorry, Nessa,” Tommy mumbled. “I won’t do it again. Promise.”
Jacob patted him on the back and handed him some cash. “Run over there and get us some sodas from the vending machine, please,” he said, pointing to some nearby machines.
Tommy dashed off, and Jacob patted the seat next to him. “Sit, please.”
I did as he said, my whole body trembling as I wondered what my punishment would be. Would he yell? Would he cut my hours down, make me share duties with another nanny? Would he simply cut his losses and fire me?
“I’m so sorry, sir, I’ll never lose him again. I was so—”
The way Jacob’s eyes darkened as I spoke made my stomach flip. He cleared his throat, head shaking a little. Then he blinked, and his eyes were clear. “It’s Jacob. Call me Jacob.”
“Sorry,” I replied meekly. I’d been so panicked about what his reaction might be that I’d forgotten what he preferred to be called. It felt so natural to want to call an imposing man like him ‘sir’, and referring to him as Jacob made me feel like a little girl playing dress-ups in her mother’s clothing, pretending to be much older and more mature than she really was.
“It’s fine, Vanessa. I know how bad you feel. This was a slip-up, and you’ll learn from it. You don’t need to keep apologizing.”
“But anything could’ve happened to him. I shouldn’t have let him out of my sight for even a second.”
“That’s how kids are. They do things like this occasionally. Believe me, I’ve spent the last year figuring that out and feeling guilty over it. That’s what parenting is. But Tommy….he’s not as bad as some kids. You know why he always does this? You know why he comes here?”
“Because you own the stadium?” I said, my eyebrows puckering.
Jacob shook his head. “No. He comes here because one of his dad’s favorite things to do was take him to games. Right here. He tries to be a brave boy, but he still misses his parents terribly sometimes. So I try not to be too hard on him when he pulls this trick, although I dearly wish he’d simply ask to be brought here so that we always know he’s safe.”
My eyes filled with tears all over again. Of course. Why hadn’t I realized? I’d lost a parent, too, so I should’ve known how much Tommy was suffering. Both his mom and dad had been killed only a year ago, so it made sense that he was still grieving and trying to return to old memories like this. The poor kid.
Jacob reached over and patted my leg, sending bolts of electricity straight to my core. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. This is a learning experience for you. When you become a teacher, you’ll have to deal with naughty kids trying to run off sometimes.”
I nodded. “I know.”
“But you care. And you’re making an effort to learn and do everything you can. That’s important. Next time, you’ll know not to let this happen, because you’ve gotten to know Tommy better, and you’ll see it coming a mile off if he tries it again. And really, I should’ve warned you about his little trick. I’ve just had so much on my mind lately; I completely forgot to bring it up.”
He let out a heavy sigh, and I stole a glance at him. “Is everything okay with you?” I asked softly. I knew his personal life wasn’t really any of my business, but he seemed so tired and worn-down right now.
“Just business problems. You know how it can be.”
I flashed him a shy smile. “Not really, actually.”
He slapped a hand on his left leg. “Of course. I keep forgetting you’re only eighteen,” he said.
Yep, only eighteen. Too young for a man like you to want, I thought. I had zero experience with the business world, and that was okay, but I also had zero experience with men. That wasn’t okay. I wanted more than anything for Jacob to see me as a woman—a woman he could touch and feel and be with—but as long as I was a ditzy little virgin, I doubted he ever would.
I turned my attention back to the field, watching the football players practice, and Tommy ran back over with our sodas a moment later. The three of us sat and sipped on our drinks in silence for the next half hour, and finally, Jacob finished and stood up.
“I need to get back to work,” he said. “Tommy, Vanessa’s going to take you home soon, and I want to see all that homework done, all right?”
Tommy nodded enthusiastically, obviously feeling bad about ditching me earlier. “I’ll do it all extra fast, promise.”
“Good boy,” Jacob replied.
A frisson of electricity suddenly passed through me, and I swallowed hard. What was it? Was it the way Jacob just spoke to his nephew? Yes, that was it—I wished he would call me a ‘good girl’. But not in the platonic way that a person would say it to a kid. I wanted him to kiss me and take me in his arms and do all kinds of…oh, who was I kidding? It wasn’t going to happen, and I needed to stop thinking about it.
But then Jacob squeezed my shoulder and murmured in my ear, and the little tingling jolts returned. “You’re doing a great job, Vanessa. You’re a good girl. I’ll see you at home later.”
My throat dried up, and I couldn’t even reply as he turned away. Then he was gone.
Just like every bit of air in my lungs.