Chapter Twelve
What the hell was I thinking?
Minutes ticked by as slow as hours. All she could think about was what she’d done. How she’d done it. And how good it’d felt.
Fucking, fucking, screw up.
Her hands balled into fists.
This was worse than when she contacted Sa’Mya’s uncle and tried to ransom her back to Laconia against Kane’s wishes.
She’d fucked an alien but not against her will. No one had given her drugs or promised to kill her. No, she had done it willingly…eagerly…with gumption…like a pro.
She flung the blanket off and stared at the ceiling. Her mind raced from one extreme to the other.
What if he fired her?
What if he made her leave?
What if he told everyone?
Would everyone think she was a no-good whore?
What if he expected her to be his personal whore?
What if he expected her to be the personal whore for all the royal guards?
She let out a bloodcurdling scream and kicked at the blanket until it fell to the floor.
Get a grip. It might not be as bad as you think. I need damage control.
There was only one person she trusted to help fix the mess she’d made.
She quickly threw on some clothes and left her apartment. It wouldn’t take long to get to JB’s room. It wasn’t too far from hers. Her main concern was getting there without bumping into anyone.
Finally, she stood outside JB’s room and rang the bell. “C’mon, answer it.” Her toes tapped impatiently against the ground.
After waiting a few seconds, she rang the bell again.
Where had Rasha gone after leaving her apartment? Had he gone back to his place or to Marcie’s?
Stop thinking about him.
She pressed the bell again, then again and again.
The door finally slid open. JB stood on the other side. His hair was a disheveled mess. He was shirtless and his pants hung off his waist. “Really? Right now?”
She brushed past him without waiting for an invitation. “I need to stay here tonight.”
“The hell you do.” He blocked her path, stopping her from going deeper into his rooms.
Instead of pushing farther past him, she pressed her back to the wall. “Please, JB.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to be alone right now. I did something really, really stupid.”
A rustling sound caught her attention. In his bed was the redheaded woman who constantly followed him around. She held a blanket up to her chin.
As Jess raked an irritated gaze over her, the woman wiggled her fingers. “Howdy. I’m Diane.”
Jess rolled her eyes. “Figures.”
“Can you…um…come back in…thirty minutes?” JB asked.
Jess threw up her hands. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m in the middle of a crisis and you’re turning me away?”
JB glanced from her to Diane. Jess folded her arms across her chest. He had better make the right choice or she would beat the shit out of him.
“Fuck,” he finally said. He turned toward his bed. “Sweetheart, my ward is in some kind of trouble. She may have gotten herself knocked up.”
“You’re such an ass,” Jess said to him.
“If you don’t mind…” JB continued.
“She can stay while we finish,” Diane said. “I don’t mind. She could even join.”
Jess shook her head in disbelief. Priceless.
JB exhaled a shaky breath and pointed to a seat of cushions. “Jess, you can take a seat right over—”
Jess peered at him. “So help me, JB, I will beat your ass in front of her,” she ground out. “Finish that sentence and I’ll be forced to do it!”
JB closed his eyes as if in deep concentration. “Baby, hold on to that thought,” he said. “Can we finish this tomorrow?”
“Okay then,” Diane replied. “I can wait.”
Jess took a seat on the floor cushions while Diane got out of bed and pulled on her clothes.
As Diane walked by him, JB grabbed for her hand. “I’ll rustle us up another girl for tomorrow night. But until then, you know I’ll be thinking about you, right?”
Diane giggled and nodded.
JB slapped her ass. “Oh Jess, you owe me big time.” As his door closed, JB turned around and stared at her. “Are you having another panic attack?”
Jess shook her head.
“Did you kill somebody?”
She shook her head again.
“So what happened?”
“Rasha and I had sex,” Jess mumbled.
JB’s brows scrunched together. “What did you say?”
Jess brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I had sex with Rasha,” she said a little louder.
JB laughed. “Of course you and Rasha fucked. Is that what has you freaking the hell out?”
“It’s not funny. I’m serious.”
“So am I. Jess, you guys have been ogling each other since you first met. Hell, I’m surprised it took this fucking long.” He went over to the food console. “I can’t believe I made Amy leave for this,” he said, talking to himself.
“Diane.”
“Huh?”
“Diane, her name is Diane.”
JB tilted his head. “Then which one is Amy?” he said more to himself than to her. After a few minutes he shrugged and punched the keys of the food console. “As I was saying—”
“Shut up. I don’t need to hear any more.”
Ugh. He was right. She had been ogling Rasha. Had everyone noticed?
Jess climbed in the bed and sank into the cushions. “Why did I even agree to come here?”
“You hate Sa’Mya and, your words not mine, ‘If that bitch says one more thing to me, I’m cutting her into itty-bitty pieces’,” JB said, mimicking her, which he did quite well, even down to rocking his head from side to side.
Oh right.
JB settled into the chair in front of the table, with a plate of food and juice. “So what happened? You fucked him and ran away?” He took a big bite of his sandwich.
She pouted. “I didn’t run away.”
He smacked on his sandwich, chewing with his mouth open, apparently forgetting any manners he used to have. “So what happened?”
She groaned, remembering Rasha standing naked in the middle of her bedroom, holding his clothes in his hand. “He basically said I was a good and easy lay. Then I made him leave.”
“Um hm. Somehow I don’t see Rasha as the sort to say that to you. Are you sure you didn’t take what he really said out of context?”
Jess stared at the ceiling. She may have overreacted. Just a little bit.
JB took another bite of his sandwich. “And kicking him out, did it make you feel better?”
“If I was feeling good about it, I suspect I wouldn’t have shown up here, now would I?”
Sheesh.
He pointed his sandwich at her. “My point exactly. You should have talked to him about his choice of words. Let him stay the night and kept your ass in your own bed.”
She rolled to her side. “What’s done is done. I fucked up in more ways than one.”
“You didn’t fuck up. Stop being so hard on yourself.”
She buried her head in the pillow. “You of all people should understand what I’m going through.”
She had spent just as many nights crying in JB’s arms as she had in Kane’s. Kane had woken up on plenty occasions to find her balled up and hiding in a corner. Those times when she had been alone, she had done exactly what she did tonight. Go to JB for comfort and reassurance.
JB would open the door and not ask any questions. She guessed the look on her face during those times of emotional distress spoke louder than any words she could have spoken. She hadn’t felt the need to tell JB or Kane what she had gone through in the brothel and neither had pressured her for details.
“All I’m saying is that maybe this is a step toward some kind of closure. I mean hell, you can’t avoid alien males for the rest of your life, now can you?”
“I’m not trying to avoid alien males for the rest of my life. I’m just trying to avoid fucking any of them.”
“Jess, that doesn’t make any sense. All alien males haven’t taken advantage of you. You were taken advantage of by bastards who probably don’t deserve to live. We’ve come across some respectable aliens.”
Despite herself, she snorted. “What are you doing? Auditioning for some kind of public relations job?”
JB sat back and crossed his arms. “Taio’s a good guy. He rescued Eva. Councilor Sallad of the Galactic Council fought tooth and nail to absolve us of all our crimes and he petitioned for Kane to join their ranks. And honestly I think Rasha’s pretty trustworthy. He’s done nothing but make sure you’re comfortable and well taken care of since you got here.”
He was right about Taio. He had rescued Eva from the slave auction block and brought her to his home. She couldn’t imagine him raping anyone. Councilor Sallad wasn’t that bad either if you got over the creepy brown cloak he constantly wore that obscured his features. And Rasha… He wasn’t bad. He was actually…nice.
“I don’t know.”
“Your problem is that you’re overthinking this. ‘Should I fuck an alien? Aliens are mean and nasty! Woe is me, I’m attracted to an alien’,” JB said, mocking her again, this time adding hand gestures.
The pillow she threw at him hit him on the face and bounced to the floor.
“Ouch. You could have broken my nose.” He rubbed his face. “I have to keep my good looks intact for the ladies. The ladies love a fine man.”
“Give me a break.”
He sobered and pushed his plate to the side. “What are you going to do when I leave?”
She didn’t want to think about being alone on Sonis. Who would she go to when she needed a shoulder to cry on?
She closed her eyes tightly. Before long, she felt JB throw a blanket over her.
“You also have to think about what you’re going to do about Rasha,” he said.
What am I going to do?
Jess groaned and pulled the blanket over her face. Too many things to worry about.