"We're going back to the Circus, aren't we?" Flutters rose inside me, mixing with a lingering dread.

"It's the only place I can think of where you might be sort-of safe. Brenon already had people keeping an eye on your brother. Might as well make it easier for us to keep you safe."

All of my willpower dissolved as my heart melted into a puddle inside my chest. Brenon was looking out for me, and he'd taken care of my brother, even after I ran off. He couldn't be all bad, right?

She pulled off the freeway and slowed down as we turned on to a frontage road. "We'll be on the train soon."

I sat in silence for a while, watching the buildings and trees as we sped down the empty road. Once again, I was returning to the Circus. Only this time, I was more aware of what I was getting into. And this time, I knew I couldn't break the curse that they didn't want broken. Yet, I carried the knowledge that I could open the gate back to Faerie. The place that seemed so foreign only a few days ago. It was almost impossible to imagine that another realm used to be connected to where we live.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek as I considered the fact that I could call that realm home as much as I could call earth home. Being half-fae, I didn't really belong here, but I was half-sayge, which meant this was my home. What would it have been like if Tristan raised me? Would I have helped Terra years ago? Would I go around destroying towns?

I took a sharp breath in and held it. Gia had been sent from her home by my biological father. How must she be feeling saving me? "Gia?"

She turned to me for a split second. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about what happened to you. I mean, I don't even know Tristan, but I guess I have to accept the fact that he's my blood. I'm so sorry he did that."

"I know," she said. "Don't worry, being an asshole isn't genetic."

I smiled and leaned back against the seat. That was true. I'd met my share of terrible people who had family members who were kind. "What about my aunt? Are you in contact with her?"

"No, but we'll send a message to her after we catch up with the Circus. Relax, Ara. We'll figure it all out."

I wasn't sure how we were going to figure any of this out. As far as I knew, Terra was determined to find me and have me help her, or kill me for denying her. The Sayges wanted to eliminate the Fae, and I had no idea what the members of the Circus actually wanted. Clenching my hands into fists, I decided that was the first thing I would ask when I saw them again. No more hiding things. I was part of this now and I needed to know the truth.

* * *

A few hours later, we passed a sign that said Welcome to Lamar. Gia pulled the car into an empty parking lot and stopped the car. "We're here."

Gia took off her seatbelt and opened her door. I followed, unlocking the door and stepping onto the asphalt. A red brick building with green trim stood in front of us. It wasn't late enough in the day for it to be this empty. "Where is everyone?"

She shrugged. "Probably sent the humans away for the afternoon."

"How?"

"Later, now we need to get you on that train before Terra's wolves pick up your scent." Gia tucked her keys into her jeans pocket and walked toward the building. I chased after her.

We walked around the building and the air along the track shimmered. A moment later, the Circus train appeared. I blinked a few times, confused. It was hiding somehow, and then it was visible. "What's going on?"

"They don't generally have the train out at stations that are in use during the day. They use magic to hide it. Come on." Gia headed toward the steps of one of the cars and climbed on like she owned the whole train.

My pulse raced as I stepped closer to the train and nervous butterflies filled my stomach. I wiped sweaty palms on my pants before I gripped the railing and climbed up.

As soon as we closed the door behind us, the train lurched, sending me tumbling. Strong arms caught me, breaking my fall. I looked behind me to see Brenon smiling down at me.

He wasn't wearing his makeup and his hair looked like he'd been sleeping on it all night. My heart pounded in my ears and I felt all the blood rush to my face.

Brenon guided me back to my feet and took his hands away from my body. The place where he had held me tingled, urging me to feel his touch again. Instead, I stood there, frozen in place, unable to take my eyes off of his.

"So what is it now?" Evangeline's voice broke our gaze, both of us turning to see her framed in the doorway. "Couldn't make it out there on your own? Come to your senses?"

I glared at her. "What the hell, Evangeline? Can't you at least pretend to be polite? Maybe I've had a shitty day, okay? I don't need to deal with you right now."

Brenon looked at Evangeline, then turned to Gia and me. "What happened?"

"Followed her to her aunt's house, then she ended up in the middle of a spat between Tristan and Terra," Gia said.

"Trouble in paradise?" Evangeline said. "We could use that. If Ara's back, we have a shot at this."

"Stop." I held my hand out, cutting off Evangeline. "I'm not officially back. I'm here because I once again, I'm in the middle of something I don't want to be involved in. Before you go any further, you need to spill. No more secrets. You want my help? I need to know what is happening here."

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of movement near the door. Looking over, I noticed that Miles had joined the group. My body tensed. Though he'd seemed to have decided I wasn't a threat, he still scared me.

"Ara's back!" Miles was smiling. He seemed genuinely happy to see me.

"She's not officially back," Evangeline said. "I'm not actually sure why she is here."

"That's not..." I began, but before I could get another word out, a body slammed into me, gold arms squeezing me into a hug.

"Thank gods you're safe, Ara. I've been so worried!" Goldie stepped back and held me at arm's length. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." I looked around at the faces staring at me. I hadn't spent much time with the Circus, yet being here felt like home. Even after finding out that Brenon and Evangeline had ulterior motives for getting me here in the first place, I couldn't deny the fact that for the first time since I left, I felt like something that had been missing had been stuck back in place.

It was obvious that if I was going to survive this, I had to choose a side, but I wasn't sure what the Circus really wanted. I turned to Brenon. "Is it true that you want to stop Terra?"

A hint of a smile played on his lips. "More than anything."

I took a deep breath. "I want in."

"About time," Evangeline said. "At least one of you Sayges has some common sense."

"Hey," Gia said.

"Oh honey, the Sayges hate you more than they hate us," Evangeline said.

"That's true," Gia said.

I looked at Gia for a moment, then looked back at Brenon. Whatever her past was with the Sayges, that was going to have to wait. I was learning that when you had centuries worth of conflict, there was no way I could learn all the drama in one day. "Is there somewhere we can talk?"

"No secrets, right?" Evangeline said.

"Eva, enough." Brenon held up the key he'd once given me. "You left this here."

I took it from him. "Thanks."

Sweeping his arm toward the door, he inclined his head in a slight bow. "After you."

Goldie bounced on her feet, hands clasped together under her chin as if in prayer. She gave me a little nod. Gia lifted her eyebrows, then tilted her head toward the door. The silent encouragement gave me the confidence I needed to walk toward the library, Brenon right behind me. It would be the first time the two of us had been alone since the night I wore that red dress.

Heat rose in my chest as I recalled the pressure of his body against mine in the small room he pulled me into. My lips tingled as if anticipating another kiss. I took a deep breath and steadied myself. I wasn't here to play out romantic fantasies. I was here to find a way to put an end to Terra so I could stop running for my life.

Surprised that I found my way to the library without reminder, I paused in front of the door. Brenon's arm brushed against my back as he moved closer to the door. Hands shaking, I dropped the key.

Brenon picked it up and held it out for me. As I reached for it, our hands touched, sending a shock wave through my arm. My breath hitched and I quickly turned back to the door, hoping he hadn't noticed. I shouldn't be feeling this way, I should be mad at him, right? I was so confused.

Once inside the room, I settled into one of the chairs and Brenon sat in the chair across from me. "I'm glad Gia was able to keep you safe."

"Thank you for looking out for me." I shifted my position on the chair. "Do you really have people watching Ryder?"

"I sent people to watch after him as soon as you arrived to fulfill your original contract. I told you, if you repaid his debt, he would be safe."

"But you tore up the contract," I said.

"I didn't have them keep watch over him because of the contract. They're there because he's important to you and you're important to me." Brenon leaned over, resting his forearms on his knees. "Ara, I know I wasn't honest about why I wanted you to travel with the Circus in the first place, but I never lied about my feelings for you."

A lump rose in my throat and I hugged my knees to my chest. This was harder than I thought it would be. The feelings I had for Brenon had never eased. If anything, seeing him again, finding out what he did for Ryder, intensified things. Which only made it more confusing. How could I trust him?

"We don't have to talk about it right now. Or ever, if you don't want." He leaned back in the chair and ran a hand through his tousled dark hair.

He looked so defeated, part of me wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him. And I wanted to run my hands through that hair. I closed my eyes for a moment. Focus.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked.

Opening my eyes, I let go of my knees and looked up at him. "I found out that I can open the gates. Like Terra said I could. But it was never about me being from the same Sayge line as the Sayge who cursed you. It's because I'm half-fae and half-sayge." The words felt like they were stuck in my throat. I'd meant to say who my father was, but I couldn't get them out.

Brenon was quiet as he studied my face. "You're not High-Fae, are you? There's a magic to you that I couldn't sense before. Something different."

This was it. The part I didn't want to tell him. Was he going to look at me differently when he found out? I took a deep breath. "Tristan's my father."