"Ara, Ara, wake up."

I jumped at the sound and threw the blanket off of me. It took a moment for me to register that I was in Joe's apartment and that the voice belonged to that of my host. Sunlight streamed in through the window well, and the room looked smaller than it had the night before.

Pressing my palms into my closed eyes, I rubbed the sleep from them. My whole body ached. Joe and I had stayed up for an hour or two talking after I'd arrived. I'd told him everything, well, except for the details about Brenon. Joe, being the wonderful friend he was, hung on every word without telling me I was crazy. Sometime before dawn, I'd managed to fall asleep. "What time is it?"

"Noon. I'd have let you keep sleeping, but you were talking so much I wasn't sure you were getting any rest." Joe handed me a cup of coffee.

I leaned back against the wall and took the mug from him. "Thanks."

Joe walked away and returned with his drink. He was studying me, waiting for me to speak first. He was probably curious as to why I'd been talking in my sleep. I didn't want to tell him I'd been dreaming about Terra hurting Brenon. I wasn't ready to explain my relationship, whatever it was, with the Ringmaster. I sipped the coffee quietly for a few moments, trying to process the feelings that were rolling through me. Telling myself I had no feelings for Brenon was a lie, what I felt for him was real. I just didn't know if what he felt for me was real.

Joe cleared his throat. "It's good to see you, Ara. Phone calls every few months aren't the same as our old late night coffee talks."

I smiled. Joe and I had grown close during our time at the rehab center. But we lived in different parts of the country, and once we each got to go home, we'd stayed in touch with phone calls. As the years passed, and we got busier, the phone calls had happened less frequently. Though I never felt like any time passed between us when we did talk. "It's been too long. I missed you."

"Me too," Joe said.

The phone rang, and Joe walked over to answer it. "Hello?"

I watched as he listened to the person on the other end.

"I'll get it done next week...yes, thank you....talk to you soon." He hung up.

"I'm keeping you from work, aren't I?" I said. "I don't want you to get in trouble for hanging out with me. You don't have to take care of me."

"Oh, I know that. Trust me. After what you showed me last night, it's clear you can take care of yourself. But I want to be here." He took a sip of coffee. "Told my boss an old friend from rehab was in town and was having some trouble, he gave me the week off."

I closed my eyes for a moment. I didn't like how that sounded. "It makes it sound like I'm on a bender or something."

"Doesn't matter. My boss knows my history, and he's had his share of demons. He gets it." He shrugged. "Besides, what else would I use my vacation days on? Nowhere for me to go."

"You're a good friend, Joe."

He smiled. "You'd do the same for me."

His response made me think. Would I do the same thing for him? Would I welcome him in and take care of him? I shook my head. "No, I wouldn't. If you came to me and told me you'd been part of some group of magical creatures, I'd think you were nuts. I'd find help for you, sure, but I wouldn't believe you like you believed me." I set the cup down. "Wait, do you have someone coming to take me away?"

He spit out his coffee.

"Ew." I wiped it off my face with his blankets.

Joe was laughing now, wiping his face with the back of his hand. "No, nobody is coming to take you away. Damn, Ara. Just as paranoid as ever. Can't you accept that sometimes people will just help you? That's what friends do."

A prickle ran across my skin. I'd come to Joe for help, but I still couldn't fully trust him. What was wrong with me? I'd trusted Brenon, and that had been a mistake. My jaw tensed.

"What is it?" Joe asked. "That's not your worried face, that's an angry face."

I couldn't help but smile. "You know me too well, Joe."

"What's his name?"

Heat rushed to my cheeks and I quickly occupied myself with the coffee.

"Ara, didn't you learn your lesson from the last guy?" he asked.

"Hey, I walked away before I did anything stupid, okay?" I snapped at him. "I don't want to talk about it."

He put his hands up in mock surrender. "Okay. I won't ask about it again. Now, where'd you put that card?"

I grabbed the card off of the nightstand and handed it to him. Any other person would have persisted in asking me about the guy; Joe knew better. He understood that there were some things we just didn't want to re-live by speaking about them. I bit down on the inside of my cheek as I tried to push the thoughts of the Ringmaster away. How long would he come back to haunt my thoughts? We hardly even knew each other. I shouldn't be thinking about him so often.

Setting the coffee cup down, I stepped off of the bed. "I'm going to the bathroom."

Joe looked up from the metallic card. "There's clothes in the dresser, towels under the sink. Use whatever you want."

I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks."

As I walked toward the bathroom, I wondered why I was never attracted to the good guys. Joe and I had been friends for years, but there was nothing between us beyond that.

Hot water ran over me and I tried to rinse away the memories of the Rose Circus and Brenon's touch. Why had I let him in? I'd worked so hard for so many years to keep people out. I'd avoided most romantic relationships during college. Why Brenon? I scrubbed myself with soap and a washcloth until my skin was pink and hurting. I had been stupid. Keeping people away made everything easier. If you didn't let yourself get attached, you didn't get hurt. This whole mess came down to protecting the one person in this world I would die for. The more people I felt the need to protect, the more vulnerable I was.

I sat down in the tub, eyes closed, letting the water run over my face. Coming here had been a mistake. Aside from my brother, Joe was my closest friend. I'd put him in danger and if any of the Fae followed me, they could use him against me.

Jumping up off of the floor, I turned off the water and got out of the shower. My heart was racing. They'd used my brother against me once already, what was to say they wouldn't do it again. Grabbing a towel, I wrapped it around me and ran out into the living area, soaking wet.

Joe dropped the card and ran over to me. "What is it?"

I must have looked entirely wild at that moment. Eyes wide, hair dripping wet. "I have to call Ryder. I have to make sure he's safe."

Joe picked up the cordless phone and handed it to me without speaking.

I dialed the number and waited.

"Hello?" When Ryder's voice greeted me on the other end, a wave of relief washed over me.

"Hey, it's me," I said.

"AB! Thank god. I was starting to worry. Are they treating you well?" Ryder asked.

I squeezed my fingers around the edge of the towel, wondering what I should tell him. I'd learned the hard way that lies come back to bite you. "Um, no. They let me go. Debt all taken care of."

"You talked them out of it?" he asked.

"I think they just realized how terrible I was at circus performing." I laughed.

"Did they make you perform?"

"I did the trapeze once," I said.

"No way!" Ryder said.

I heard some muffled noises and other voices in the background. "Ryder?"

"Yeah, that's my roommates. Hey, can I call you back later? Wait, where are you?"

"I'm at Joe's. Going to stay here for a bit and figure some things out," I said.

There was a pause from Ryder. "You doing okay, AB?"

I tried to sound as happy as possible. "Yes. Don't worry about me; I'm the one who is supposed to worry about you. Go, have fun with your friends."

"Okay, talk later."

The phone went silent. I pushed the red button to turn it off and handed it back to Joe. He took it from me and returned it to the charger. "Feel better?"

I nodded and looked down at the puddle I'd made on his threadbare carpet. "Sorry about that."

"Don't worry," Joe said. "Find something to wear, will ya? I think I figured out this card and we've got a drive ahead of us."

"Really?" I grabbed the card from him and turned it back and forth, looking at the inscription in the metal.

Joe took the card back from me. "Clothes first."