Where are you?

Noah eyed the closed door, willing for Devin to walk in.

Please.

He needed Devin.

“They’ll be back soon,” Brandon said. He had remained at Noah’s side since he had woken.

Noah stared at the ceiling. “Yeah.” What if something had happened? He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. This was his fault. He should never have come here. He had screwed everything up.

“Are you okay?” Brandon gently touched his shoulder. When Noah didn’t answer he asked, “Have you thought about what I said?”

Noah rotated his shoulder, dismissing Brandon’s hand. “I can’t right now.” All he cared about was Devin coming back safe. He wasn’t going to decide anything until he had seen Devin.

“I know it’s difficult—”

“You have no idea.” The memory of the failure of Chicago still stung. If he agreed to go with Brandon and the others, would it really be any different this time round?

“He means a lot to you, doesn’t he?” Brandon said. “Devin.”

Noah nodded. “He’s everything.” My everything. My reason to give a damn.

The silence they fell into was interrupted by voices outside.

Brandon quickly got to his feet.

Someone tried the door.

“Mac?” Brandon said.

“It’s Yara. Let us in.”

Brandon turned the key and pushed the handle down.

“The others aren’t back yet?” Yara asked before she was over the threshold. She scanned the room.

Noah studied her. Blood covered the sleeves of her jacket.

Hank followed her inside. “They’re not here?” He clenched his jaw and looked back at the door as Brandon closed it.

“Shit.” Yara glanced from Brandon to Hank. “We should go look for them.”

“You separated? Why?” Brandon asked.

“Mac thought it’d get things done more quickly.” Yara tugged at the back of her hair and rocked on her heels. “Damn. We should have stayed together.”

Hank crouched beside Noah. “Mac’ll be fine. He’s with Devin,” he told them, then turned to Noah. “How are you? Okay?” His gaze drifted to Noah’s stomach. There was blood smeared on his cheek. “I’m glad you’re awake. Devin will be too.”

Noah managed a smile. “He’s gonna be all right, yeah?”

“You know Devin. He’s fine.” Hank’s voice was steady. He believed what he was saying.

Hank got back to his feet. He steeled himself before saying, “We should wait here. It’s what Mac told us to do.”

Yara paced a few steps to the door and back. She seemed anxious. “Do you always do as you’re told?”

Clearing his throat, Hank shrugged. “Sure, when I think it’s the right thing to do.” He relaxed his shoulders. “Look. If they’re not back in twenty minutes, we’ll go find them—”

The door opened.

“Devin,” Hank said.

Thank God. The sight of Devin hit Noah hard. He just wanted to tell Devin how sorry he was again.

Devin was alone.

“Where’s Mac?” Yara asked. She tensed and laid a hand on the holster of her handgun.

“Got something for you,” Devin told Hank, seeming to ignore Yara’s question. He pushed a pack against Hank’s chest as he walked past him.

“Somethin’ happen?” Hank asked.

Yara unfastened the catch on her holster and took a step in Devin’s direction. “Hey, where’s—?”

“Here.” Mac walked in. He hesitated as he settled his gaze on Devin. “We all okay?” He closed the door.

Yara nodded. “Are you?”

“I’m fine.”

Devin’s gaze lingered on Mac. Something strange hung between them.

“Hey,” Noah said and wrapped his hand around Devin’s wrist when he crouched at his side. His heart ached with relief when Devin met his eyes. He gripped Devin’s arm. “I was worried when I woke and you weren’t here.”

With a snort, Devin said, “You were worried? You scared the crap out of me.” He stroked Noah’s hair back. “Don’t ever do that again.” He leaned lower. “Okay?” He smiled and kissed Noah’s forehead before sitting beside him.

Noah pressed his lips together and simply nodded. Emotion got the better of him and he blinked, trying to suppress his tears.

“Hey. It’s okay.”

Noah gripped the cuff of Devin’s jacket and brushed his knuckles against Devin’s wrist. He wanted to keep Devin close.

They shared a quiet moment, then Devin said, “I need to tell you something.” He held Noah’s hand in his.

From the look in Devin’s eyes, Noah knew what it was Devin wanted to say. “It’s okay. You don’t have to.”

“I do. I want to.” Devin paused for a moment. “I love you.” He took a shaky breath. “I know I’m not easy and don’t always say stuff. About, you know, my feelings. But if things had been bad and you had… And I hadn’t said anything—”

Noah stopped him. “I didn’t. I’m alive.” He winced as he raised his arm and pressed his hand to the side of Devin’s face. “I know it’s hard for you.”

Devin glanced over his shoulder to where Mac, Yara and Brandon were standing together. They seemed to be in hushed conversation.

“What do you suppose they’re talking about?” Noah said to try and lighten the mood.

The expression on Devin’s face changed.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Something didn’t sit right with Noah. Devin was lying to him and the way Devin was looking at him right then, it was clear he knew Noah had doubts.

“Okay,” Noah said. He trusted Devin knew what he was doing.

Devin stroked gentle lines over the back of Noah’s hand.

Then was as good a time as any to talk. He tensed his jaw as he considered what to say. “Devin?”

“Mmm?” Devin raised his head.

“I need to tell you something, too. Just promise me you’ll hear me out?”

Devin snorted a laugh and leaned back. “Of course you do.” He rubbed at his brow. “I mean, go on. I’m listening.”

“You know why they’re here, right?”

Devin released Noah’s hand. “Yes, I know.”

“Brandon’s asked me to go with them.”

“Asked?” Devin said cynically.

“It doesn’t matter if he did or didn’t. I want to help them.”

Devin didn’t say anything straight away. He cast his gaze around the room. “You remember what happened with Chicago? With Corden?”

There was no way in hell Noah was going to forget. “He might not have gone about things in the right way, but he was right. I’m immune and that has to mean something.”

Devin stared at the floor.

“You know I’m right.”

Acceptance crossed Devin’s face. “I know.”

Noah took a deep breath. “They need me.”

Devin nodded. “I know.” He met Noah’s eyes. “It’s just…”

Would Devin admit he needed him?

Sensing Devin was struggling, Noah spoke up. “This is bigger than us. I think you get that.”

“Doesn’t make it any easier.”

“Devin?” Hank interrupted. “Can we talk?”

Briefly, Devin closed his eyes as if bracing himself for the next obstacle. “What is it?”

“Your pack.” Hank held the bag. He tensed his jaw as if he wanted to say something else. “I tried the radio. Got static. Stupid as we’re out of range, but…”

“But?”

“It’d make me feel better if we were heading home soon. You know, with everything going on back there.”

Devin nodded. “Yeah. I’m feeling uneasy as well.”

It seemed Mac had taken an interest in the three of them coming together. “Everything okay?” he asked and came to stand behind Hank. He folded his arms and settled his gaze on Devin.

Devin looked at Noah, then to Mac. “We’ve been out of contact with our people for some time.” He indicated the radio in Hank’s hand.

Mac narrowed his eyes as he focused on the radio. “How long?” Mac held out his hand, requesting the radio.

Hank hesitated for a moment, but eventually handed it over.

“Longer than we like,” Devin said.

With a furrowed brow, Mac examined the casing. “Looks military issue. I won’t ask where you got it.” He handed it back to Hank. “I guess you need to get back.”

“Is that going to be a problem?” Devin seemed defensive.

What is it with you two? Noah was more sure then that something had happened between the two of them while they were away from the rest of the group.

“No problem.” Mac’s features softened. He crouched down beside Devin. “Look, I’ve spoken to the others and we want to help.”

Devin shook his head. “We don’t need your help.”

Hank said at the same time, “Help how?” His voice was gruff and he cleared his throat, casting Devin an awkward look.

“We want to come with you. Make sure you get back to your people.”

Silence fell among them. Hank met Devin’s gaze and quirked an eyebrow as if in favor of the idea.

“I know you don’t trust us. But this is us. The five of us. There’s no one else.”

Noah believed Mac was telling the truth and judging from Hank’s expression, he did too.

Shifting his weight to his other leg, Mac continued, “We aren’t looking to trick you. And I’m quite aware you can handle yourselves. I just figured… I hoped it might give us a chance to talk properly.”

“Devin?” Noah prompted. After everything they had just talked about Devin had to know what needed to be done.

Devin gazed at the floor as he seemed to think things over, maybe playing out scenarios—good and bad. “Okay,” he agreed. He looked as if he wanted to say more, lay down rules and offer up some threat that things had better go smoothly, but he didn’t. He simply added, “Thank you.”

The tension in how Mac held himself eased away. He nodded. “We’ll leave first thing in the morning. It’s getting dark and I think we could all do with some rest. The hospital is secure. We’ll be safe in here for the night.” His gaze lingered on Devin, then he got to his feet and joined the others.

Though Noah was curious, it was Hank who asked the question.

“So are you gonna tell us what went down or…”

With a sigh, Devin checked over his shoulder. “I might have pulled a gun on him.”

“You did what?” Noah said in a hushed voice. “Why would you do that?” Noah met Devin’s eyes and the answer was obvious before Devin even said it.

“For you,” Devin stated in a low voice. “I couldn’t risk losing you. I couldn’t take that chance.”

Two men had walked back into the room.

“Obviously you didn’t put a bullet in him. So what happened?” Noah asked.

Devin shook his head. “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “He might have made a few good points about things I already knew.” He looked at Noah. “I realized it wasn’t my choice to make.”

Noah flicked out his tongue to moisten his lips. “If there was some other way—”

“It’s fine. Look.” Devin cleared his throat. “Mac’s right. We should get some sleep. We can figure it out once we get home. Okay?”

Noah wrapped his hand around Devin’s wrist before he could move away. “Everything is going to work out. It’ll be different this time.”

Devin smiled and leaned over Noah. He pressed a firm kiss to his lips and gently held his face. He breathed in as they parted. “I hope so.” He lingered, curling his fingers against Noah’s jaw. “Get some sleep,” he said and sat on the floor, sliding back until he had his back against the wall. He glanced at Noah one last time, a curl of his lips as he offered some comfort. “Sleep,” he mouthed and rotated his shoulders, settling back.

“Do as you’re told,” Hank said. The corner of his mouth twitched and a warmth spread over his face. “For once.” He patted Noah’s shoulder before joining Devin against the wall.

Taking a breath, Noah closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind. The problem was, the more he tried to avoid thinking, the more he couldn’t stop. He opened his eyes. Devin had his head tilted back, but his eyes were open. He was staring at the ceiling, his brow creased.

Maybe he has the same problem as me—too much going on in his head.

Noah shifted, trying to ease the uncomfortable feel of the floor underneath his shoulder blades. With a sigh, he closed his eyes again, willing the darkness to swallow him up. He wasn’t sure how or when, but after a while he fell asleep.

Noah breathed in sharply as he was nudged awake. “What?”

“I said, rise and shine.” Devin squeezed Noah’s shoulder. He smiled, though he wore a concerned expression. “It’s time to go.”

Leaning back his head, Noah watched others in the group ready themselves. “What’s the plan?” he asked and made the regrettable decision to sit forward. He pushed his hand to his stomach, fearing what new damage he might have done to himself.

“Easy. Maybe hold off on the rise.” Devin gave a humorless laugh, crouching to support Noah. “You okay?” He seemed worried.

Noah nodded, then tentatively drew back his hand. There was no sign of fresh blood. “It’s okay.”

“Just, take it easy, all right?”

Noah snorted a laugh. “Think that’s going to be an option?” He held Devin’s gaze.

When was anything they did ever easy? Home, the prison, felt so far away right then.

“A guy can dream, right?” Devin said with a shrug.

“So, the plan?”

Devin looked over his shoulder. “They have a vehicle not too far out. We’ll get to that, then swing by and get our cars. Hank and Yara will take those. I’ll stay with you in the truck.”

“Sounds simple,” Noah mused.

“Doesn’t it just.” Devin rubbed his hand over his jaw as he gazed at the door. He seemed oddly calm, or maybe it was relief to be getting out of there.

It did sound simple. But Noah knew simple didn’t have a habit of staying that way.

“Any sign of any of those things?”

Devin shook his head. “Hank and Yara went up top to check things out. They should be back soon.” There was an eerie quietness to him.

“Are you okay?”

Clearing his throat, Devin stared at the floor. “I’m fine. Just…” He shrugged. “I just want to get back and make sure everyone’s okay.” He lifted his head. “Make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m good. That March lady seemed to know her stuff. Lucky, huh?”

Devin smiled. “I kind of figured we were due some luck.” With a sigh, he leaned forward and rested his chin on Noah’s shoulder. “But promise me you’ll never do anything like this again. Not sure my heart can take it.”

“I promise.” Noah reached up and clasped Devin’s wrist. He felt Devin’s pulse and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said for what felt like the hundredth time, not that he meant it any less than the first. He hadn’t meant for any of this to happen. He had just wanted to fix something, anything.

Devin pressed a kiss to the back of Noah’s hand. “You don’t need to be. But know if you do anything this stupid again, Hank will kick your ass.”

Noah turned his head to meet Devin’s eyes.

Giving a small smile, Devin added, “Me, too.” He fell silent for a moment, brushed his fingers over Noah’s. “We’re in this together. Don’t ever think we’re not, or that I don’t care. Because I do.”

Devin looked at him as if he was daring Noah to believe differently. Noah understood why Devin was guarded where his emotions were concerned. It wasn’t that Devin was cold, he was just protecting himself, his heart, hesitant to let anyone get too close to him for fear of losing them.

Like he lost Connor.

Noah frowned. All he did was cause trouble for Devin. He was foolish to think he could ever replace Connor in Devin’s heart.

No. Not replace. I would never want that. But to have Devin love him just as fiercely.

“What kind of man was Connor?” Noah said, his thoughts becoming words before he had time to consider what he was saying. He blinked and looked at Devin.

Confusion lay in Devin’s eyes as he straightened, putting space between the two of them. “Connor?” Devin said his dead lover’s name and hurt creased Devin’s brow. “Why would you ask that? And now?”

“Sorry,” Noah said. “I don’t know. I didn’t mean anything by it.” Regret gripped him as he felt Devin pull away from him, and not just physically.

Devin worried his lip, but appeared relieved when Hank and Yara entered the room.

“Devin,” Noah said as Devin got to his feet.

Devin glanced down at him and with a steady voice asked, “What?” It was as though he was forcing his tone to be quiet and calm.

“Nothing.”

With a nod, Devin gave a strained smile. “We’re moving soon. Be ready.” He shifted his gaze to the floor, then walked over to meet Hank.

Noah held his arm across his stomach. He closed his eyes as guilt scratched at his insides.

Well done, Noah. Idiot.